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[coralnightingale]

Something I wrote?

I am a light, flickering in the dark

Goaded to shine bright with spite

Can't add fire to the flame

Unless someone thinks that I can be tamed

Unless someone thinks that I can be quenched

My fire doesn't burn nor does it end

I question myself if I could survive

Without others trying to put me out

Or if I would succumb to the cold wind

That tries to end it for everyone

I wrote this after thinking how competition has made us believe that people won't look at us with respect if you tumble down, even a bit, in academics. How sometimes I think how I would've been or if this would've been the stream I had chosen if it wasn't something that everyone said was the safest option. How I think if I could've been better at other things and how I feel I have to prove myself to earn some people's respect.

[coralnightingale]

50 posts!

[coralnightingale]

See, I've always been the kind of person who loves variety. Variety in subjects, variety in opportunities, variety in foods; and yeah, variety helps in strangest of ways, a testament to all the situations I've ended up in only to be saved by this 'variety'. Suffice it to say, my younger years were filled with this diversity, eyes filled with wonder at the variety of things I could become. And it is easier when we're younger, isn't it? I mean I'm still young, 18, so what am I waiting for?

But reader, you forgot one thing: the monotony of the drudgery to surpass the expectations of yourself and the world's 'ranking'. The competition that grates on you until you've been reduced to this one thing that you couldn't have even imagined becoming. You merely hold it together yourself while holding onto the ever precarious growing string, string of a single hope: I can make it.

Some do, while some fall into the pit when life cuts this string.

[coralnightingale]

— Brianna Wiest, 101 Essasys That Will Change The Way You Think

[coralnightingale]

i have a question: why do you keep sabotaging yourself? why is it that as soon as you think something is just out of your reach you do everything you can to get in your own way? why is it that as soon as things seem to be going right, you plant your feet and sit on the ground with your legs crossed?

you're not fucking lucky. you worked for it, you sweated, and you cried, and you sacrificed so much to reach the level of knowledge and skill you have now.

have you worked so hard only to say "how lucky"? no, damn it, i won't let you. you may not be a genius, you may not be the best in the world, but do you fucking think anyone could do what you did? do you think anyone could get to where you are? do you believe that anyone has the possibilities that you have?

put this in your head, you are not unexpressed potential, you are exceptional and with your hard work you can achieve unimaginable things. stop wasting your dreams just because they seem too big for the drawer.

edit : in italian we say "dream in the drawer" when we refer to a hope that is unlikely to come true, but not impossible.

ex. my dream in the drawer is to become a famous singer all over the world

(just in case you didn't understand the last sentence)

[coralnightingale]

I am a collection of my personal “what ifs” trying to be “this is how”

[coralnightingale]

17-may-24.

3/11 DOP

things I did :

Attended classes ✅

Video lec on vectors ✅

Notes review ✅

Ncert reading ✅

Exercise ✅

Journal ✅.

Hope ya'all are doing good.

[coralnightingale]

me, quietly whispering to the ao3 page of an author who doesn’t even know I exist: I am obsessed with you

[coralnightingale]

Jason's approach to Nico is actually SO tactful and empathetic. He is super emotionally and strategically intellectual + he is canonically an expert at reading body language because of lupa + he also observes people a lot, so I'm not surprised.

He called Nico out and told him to stop hiding in the shadows and pushing people away, but simultaneously reassured him that he was willing to be nicos friend. He gave nico a blunt reality check on what he's doing, but wasn't rude about it.

He never told anyone nicos secret, not even his girlfriend, and was very patient with him even after he lashed out. And after their friendship evolved, he was STILL very tactful and sought consent before he hugged Nico. He never forced or guilt tripped nico into staying at camp, and respected his decision if he wanted to leave but told him he'd always be welcome in both camps.

He also went to Nico's cabin simply to check on how he was doing and reassure him that he'd always be there for him no matter what (kind of like how he went to piper's room on the argo ii to check on how she was doing even though HE was the one who got stabbed by a sword like 5 mins ago lol-)

And that little scene where Jason got excited after nico said he's staying and just overflowed nico with plans on what they could do (like sing in campfires) but immediately apologized for overwhelming nico so much , while assuring him that they didn't have to do all that if nico didn't want to, and that he's just glad nico was staying.

Ugh jason grace the man you are

[coralnightingale]

Rest in peace Micheal Yew and Lee Fletcher, you would have had a field day catching Will sneaking to his boyfriends cabin in the middle of the night.

[coralnightingale]

You're not always going to be motivated. So you must learn to be disciplined.

[coralnightingale]

That quote from Evelyn Hugo which reads, "Don't ignore half of me so you can fit me into a box. Don't do that.", is the softer version of, "I'm not going to water myself down to be more digestable for you. You can go choke."

[coralnightingale]

Make your life as you want it to be #youhavecontrol

[coralnightingale]

Make your life as you want it to be #youhavecontrol

[coralnightingale]

OH MY GOD, this is what I blogged as my first ever post saying that a CRACK FAN FICTION that has a TEENY TINY plot but LAUGHABLE and POINTLESS, keeps sadness at bay. And look how it turned out. Crack could mean many things that I definitely did not know about at that time :D

A crack a day keeps sadness at bay. That's it. That's the post

[coralnightingale]

I think people often hate Jason for reasons they should feel sorry for him

you hate because he's too perfect? he lives with pressure of everyone's expectations that he'll be perfect.

He has no personality? he was raised a child soldier, a tool for the gods and wasn't allowed to be his own person. despite that he did develop a personality and hera took it from him.

we don't know anything about him? he doesn't know anything about him.

He's not Percy Jackson? he's all too aware of that.

[coralnightingale]

PERCABETH + sacrifice