corky-chicken

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I tap the mic. “Most people don’t want to crawl down your chimney and steal your dog.”

the crowd murmurs uncertainly.

“If someone wants to steal your dog,” I continue, “there are easier ways to do that. They don’t have to crawl into a chimney.”

Murmuring intensifies. People stand in their seats and begin to boo.

“People disguising themselves as chimney sweepers and stealing dogs is not a rational fear,” I shout. “Literally anyone could steal your dog. Why make sweeping chimneys illegal?”

“I have a list of chimney sweeps who stole dogs from parks!” Someone yells, throwing a shoe.

“You seriously think no chimney sweepers could possibly ever steal from a home?” Another cries.

“Only a dog thief would even want to crawl into a chimney to begin with!” Says a third.

A single tear rolls down my cheek. They are all so fucking stupid

This is a metaphor

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Hamster's In Dungeon And Dragons

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Let's block traffic with mama!

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this guy really always had something to say about almost everything and nearly all of it is still completely relevant almost 200 years later. fascinating stuff.

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I am unfortunately just like other guys. I like trashy horror, dog poems, cannibalism as a metaphor for obsessive devotion, religious imagery, people who use my name in a sentence, academic validation, lying for fun, being bisexual and bleeding out in the snow.

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Daily Dose of Nick Lang Day #64

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Let's follow mama!!

(Picture from Pinterest)

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This might be the stupidest thing I’ve ever made… (added translations for all the non desi people 🤗)

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pixel tests :p

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Me @ the skrunkel skrimblo