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Here are SOME, more like, A FEW, of my annotations from Ocean Vuong’s “On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous.”

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Not Everyone Seeks Happiness

A massive amount of people would always say, “I want to be happy,” or “we all seek for happiness.” At some point, the thought of being happy became a falsely umbrella term for what everyone wants. Because, not everyone seeks for eternal happiness. It is merely just a fleeting feeling, that comes and goes; for life is a rollercoaster rides; the ups and downs can give a worst feeling than nausea. 

Personally, I love the feeling of being seen. The constant search of something relatable in anything I consume is endless. In a story (in books, movies, shows, etc.), there would always be a character that i kin to. When listening to a song, I embody the lyrics, making sure that I relate to it. And since life is not the kindest, all of these are usually comfortably painful. 

Consuming all of those sure make me cry in the corner, under my blanket. Yet it is comforting to know that somewhere out there, real or fictional, share the same struggles or sorrows with you. The idea that one is not alone, feels like a genuine hug. A hug so reassuring that one always chooses to feel it. Because the most relieving feeling in this world, is maybe, to be understood. 

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Philippine Elections: Still Hoping

On the first hours of May 10, 2022, the Commission of Elections (COMELEC) showed our country the unofficial winners of this year's elections. I saw more posts showing confusion instead of celebration; maybe this is because I am surrounded mostly by people who agree with me. But besides that, there was a glitch in the system which made people suspicious. Currently, the Parish Pastoral Council for Responsible Voting (PPCRV) is manually counting the results. While that's happening, several groups of people are protesting against COMELEC. We remain hopeful. We sincerely hope that that night was just a nightmare and tomorrow is a beautiful color of pink. But for now, we are not done doing what we can do. We will continue to voice out for what we know is right.

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Here are some of my annotations for Haruki Murakami’s “Norwegian Wood.”

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May 09 2022: Election Anxiety

I am unable to stress my academic stresses at the moment, and my missing tasks are piling up faster than the debt of this country. Worried, concerned, anxious, frightened, and afraid, I wonder what this country’s future is. I hope tomorrow, the day we can make a change for the better, we vote for what we think is right. Right not just in our feelings and gut. We vote for people who would ensure that they would lead with transparency. We must always keep in mind that politics has power over our livelihood. More than ever, this country needs leaders with pure, clean, and great intentions.

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A Passion That Burned

I started photo-journaling at the young age of 15. I was a photojournalist for our school’s English paper. Though I was not the very best at the field, I loved what I did. My camera, the school’s camera, and I have formed a bond stronger than a tight rope. The camera gave me a purpose, it motivated me to go to school even on days when I usually do not feel like going; “I need to cover the event” was my engine to get up and dash to the car. Being in the English publication club of our school also made me explore my writing skills (which still have a lot to improve on). From then on, I romanticized and imagined life as someone working for a magazine or anything in publishing. 

In my final year of high school, my creative writing teacher complimented my memoir, there were several errors in it, given that we were only given a few minutes to work on it. Despite the errors, he still gave me a perfect score. Several students always mentioned how his standards are high and he usually does not give a student the shiny perfect score. So, that moment boosted my ego and it made me say “I want to be a writer. No, I will be a writer.” I was prideful and convinced that I would be one of the greatest writers in history, but fast-forward to this very moment; I have lost all my energy to work for what I used to dream and I plan to switch to a more science-focused course, thinking, I am no longer happy, I no longer have the drive I used to have.

To be honest, I do not know what went wrong. I am currently in the second semester of college, studying communications and majoring in Media Production. Last semester, I had a great grade on our major subject, my final paper even received a perfect score. But I was not satisfied and all I could think of were the times I struggled to survive high school due to how weak I was in science and math. Though we had science as one of our minor subjects in college, that was not enough. I began being unhappy with my course and the void I felt before the camera and I bonded came back. During the first semester, I submitted most (if not all) of my work on time, I was an annoying overachiever who even made reviewers. Now, it is like I am a totally different student. Confused and questioning, I cry myself to sleep every night, wondering how did I fall and burned myself out for the 2nd time now, when I am only 19.