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cornybunbun · 1 day
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The Four Sacred Artistic Motives:
-what if this bad thing was good instead
-how about Make-Believe Land can have whatever I want
-would that be fucked up or what
-I think that shit's hot
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cornybunbun · 2 days
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I understand why a lot of fantasy settings with Ambiguously Catholic organised religions go the old "the Church officially forbids magic while practising it in secret in order to monopolise its power" route, but it's almost a shame because the reality of the situation was much funnier.
Like, yes, a lot of Catholic clergy during the Middle Ages did practice magic in secret, but they weren't keeping it secret as some sort of sinister top-down conspiracy to deny magic to the Common People: they were mostly keeping it secret from their own superiors. It wasn't one of those "well, it's okay when we do it" deals: the Church very much did not want its local priests doing wizard shit. We have official records of local priests being disciplined for getting caught doing wizard shit. And the preponderance of evidence is that most of them would take their lumps, promise to stop doing wizard shit, then go right back to doing wizard shit.
It turns out that if you give a bunch of dudes education, literacy, and a lot of time on their hands, some non-zero percentage of them are going to decide to be wizards, no matter how hard you try to stop them from being wizards.
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cornybunbun · 2 days
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i’m gonna cry it’s raining right now and i just passed by a family where both parents were without an umbrella but their kid who couldn’t have been older than like 3-4 was proudly holding this GIANT umbrella whose diameter was as tall (if not taller) as the kid. both the parents were getting absolutely drenched but u could tell the kid was just so happy to have an “adult” task and carry the umbrella themselves and i think that sacrifice is what love is all about
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cornybunbun · 2 days
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im not gay but 20 blueberries is 20 blueberries
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cornybunbun · 3 days
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iykyk-
For example, if you're speaking to a receptionist at a medical practice or calling idk your insurance company
I was going to specify "the first time" but then I realized I'm actually more likely to spell my name automatically if I know they're looking it up in a set of records
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cornybunbun · 4 days
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you actually don't have to go on dating apps to find girlfriends. many beautiful women are waiting for you on rocks out at sea
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cornybunbun · 4 days
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watching Seven Samurai
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cornybunbun · 4 days
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Ao3 version that lets you open the 'director's cut' where I, the author, explain every detail in excruciating detail to you and what it is in reference to.
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cornybunbun · 5 days
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it’s a great time to be a hater, many things are bad and lots of stuff sucks. it’s also a terrible time to be a hater, because many people will insist that you have to like the bad thing because a company spent millions of dollars making it and it’s just not very nice to say it’s bad
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cornybunbun · 6 days
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one of my favorite this american life segments of late is about the people who played orchestra pit for phantom of the opera on broadway and how, like, a sizeable majority of them had literally been playing the show since it opened in 1988 (on broadway. I know it opened in 86 on the west end, you random pedants, but I am specifically talking about broadway musicians) because their contracts stipulated that they'd have jobs throughout the show's entire run... but nobody anticipated that phantom would become the longest-running broadway show of all time.
and none of these people wanted to walk away from a guaranteed job, so very few of them ever quit. they just kept doing the same show eight nights a week... for twenty or thirty years... and by the time it finally closed last year most of these musicians (who had been working together for DECADES) hated each other and really really fucking loathed phantom. I can't stop thinking about it. it's indescribably hellish to imagine but also the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life.
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cornybunbun · 6 days
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“If you promise to stay alive just a little bit longer I promise that we are going to make this world a place worth living in by any means necessary. I ain’t giving up. I swear.” 
Spotted in Clackamas, Oregon
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cornybunbun · 7 days
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E, F, G, H... I... fuck what comes after I
the very next letter:
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cornybunbun · 8 days
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hey sorry if this isnt true i forgot exactly where i read it but this person should be brutalised and subjected to some of the most horrific acts of cruelty humanity has ever seen. it might be nothing though i might have the people mixed up
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cornybunbun · 8 days
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Annie Stegg Gerard  -- The Oak Tree Fae
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cornybunbun · 8 days
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cornybunbun · 9 days
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“I’d kill for you. Please ask me to kill for you.” “No.” Is a top tier ship dynamic no I do not take criticism
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cornybunbun · 9 days
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If you're reading this, you're on Tumblr!
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