corposurreal

[corposurreal]

[corposurreal]

i hate you summer i hate you heat i hate you sweating i hate you burning sun i hate you warm weather i hate you climate change

[corposurreal]

Did a brand new kind of bowling shot today

we called it the "trust the Force Luke" shot or the "through God all things are possible" shot

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I just can’t believe some of u are soooo young u didn’t experience the early 2000s at all like even briefly . U were born and ur mother door dashed you home from the hospital

[corposurreal]

(after getting attacked by a one-episode creature) whatever that was, it's gone now...

[corposurreal]

why has anyone bothered to write a kissing scene after annie proulx wrote this in 1997

[corposurreal]

they should invent an apartment that has huge windows but is never too hot and is near everything i like and all my friends but is also quiet when i want it to be and costs zero dollars or perhaps they pay me to live in. and they save it just for me so i dont have to look for it :)

[corposurreal]

step 1. get everyone in the world to want to fuck me

step 2. vow of celibacy

[corposurreal]

fandom is a lot more fun when your goal isn’t to be “that big, popular account” within the fandom but just to have fun and talk about what brings you comfort and happiness by the way

[corposurreal]

Gay as hell to be another man's groomsman like what are you gonna do? Stand there and wish he was marrying you instead? Gayass.

[corposurreal]

[corposurreal]

In my opinion it's a lot more healthy to be able to own that you dislike someone for petty reasons than to do all kinds of mental gymnastics to make everyone you don't really vibe with out to be a bad person actually

[corposurreal]

something vindictive but ultimately harmless I do at work is that if you’re at my register and you’re rude to me and you pay with cash I am finding the most disgusting desolate fucked up unspeakable coin I can to give to you. oh you were mean to me? you’re getting the yucky nickel bitch

[corposurreal]

Everyone warns you agaist going to the supermarket hungry, but nobody tells you about the dangers of going there too full: I do not want any of these things, for I will never require any food at all!

[corposurreal]

My manager was like. "I found the best video on YouTube" and I said "oh?" And he said it's called "one hour of silence periodically interrupted by the sound of a metal pole clanking" and proceeded to play it

Every time the pole clanks he spooks like a wild horse and keeps getting more and more frustrated

We are about 20 minutes in and he's like "god I can't wait for this to be over" refusing to turn it off