cortibah - Tumblr blog

[cortibah]

palpatine straight up told anakin he was a sith lord and anakin was like well. this is a lot to process so im going to go fetch my boss and we’ll come back in about half an hour and murder you so don’t go anywhere and palpatine didn’t you have to admire the man

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every western movie ever made: The wild west is dying. theres no more room left for cowboys anymore…

me everytime: :(

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yeah I’m a nonpracticing woman. I was raised female but I don’t really believe anymore yknow?

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i KNOW the sleep tips, google. trust me, i know about the darkness and the light and evil screens and exercise and meditation and not napping. i know “”“how”“” to sleep. what i need you to tell me is how to convince my fuckass adhd brain that i need to give up on doing things for the day and that the hours between midnight and five a.m. are NOT secret free extra time that no one will notice if i steal

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marat. marat charlotte corday is coming with a knife. oh my god he’s got airpods in he can’t hear us. oh my god

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I got this glitch (?) where I could continuously trash talk these bounty hunters so I had a lot of fun.

‘Arrest me’

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Me: *Removes my cat from my lap to do something else.*

My cat: Father is...evil? Father is unyielding? Father is incapable of love? I am running away. I am packing my little rucksack and going out to explore the world as a lone vagabond. I can no longer thrive in this household.

[cortibah]

im calling myself out on this one

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So, I don't know much about the creator, but he has some very sound critiques of the Online Saint Denis bank robbery, and some general clever observations.

[cortibah]

How to see whether a Chinese handmade teapot is well done or not - quality of the spout is an important standard. 

cr: 承启 建水紫陶

[cortibah]

I know I haven't posted in ages, I got a full time job and it makes all that kinda hard.

But! I have a PS4 again and I'm replaying RDR2.

Also I finally stopped being a snob and got Spotify so I've been listening to more music

And uh

just gonna put it out there

if there was ever a song that applies to Dutch way too much it's The Stroke by Billy Squier

(if you don't get it then read into what the basis for the song is)

[cortibah]

someone said ‘the version of me you created in your mind is not my responsibility’ and wow

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Linda Friessen Haute Couture Gowns

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Arthur Morgan can shit post just as well as any of us. “A tiny church for a tiny congregation” is so fucking FUNNY are you kidding me?

The rest of this post is gonna be filled with funny things I find in his journel:

“She’s missing a tiny magician. I suppose we all are.”

“The world is full of self-pitying drunks. Hell I hope I grow into one myself!”

“...Like a real proper gentleman, he tried to kill me.”

“The show was interesting to say the least. And also dreadful.”

“Again, he somehow survived.”

“Met a woman who’d killed a John” (I thought someone had killed one of the many John Marstons)

“Took him to the sheriff after he nearly killed me. He jumped the sheriff. Then I killed him.”

“I’ve met some charming women in my time. Catherine Braithwaite ain’t one of them.”

“A sourer old jug of piss and bullshit I ain’t never met.”

“Quite the most alive creature we have met down here.”

“The looks of loathing on the faces of the locals delighted me.”

“I will live, if even uglier than before.”

“Still NO GOLD, but a SHIT load of trouble.”

“Home for, now.”

“This was a new low, even by my standards.”

“Said he was an artist, although I’m not sure I see what is so good about it.”

“I’m still amazed by what I experienced. He had me control a tiny boat.”

“Always heard Saint Denis was one of the seven wonders of the world. If so I don’t wanna see the other six.”

“I have not ever met a lizard in a suit before, only now I have.”

“Strange creature, men.”

“Dancing from France. Real nice. What is wrong with me?”

“Went to teach Bronte a lesson. Taught him something, I guess. Taught him alligators have a nasty way about them.”

“Wants to take me hunting. Hamish, not the pike.”