cosmichorrorsarestillnicerthanme

[cosmichorrorsarestillnicerthanme]

Considering the responses to any angst I write, I do believe that is fitting.

hi so i made a uquiz that will tell you what color is your writing? 

i hope you have fun and enjoy it! i would love it if you reblogged your result and told me if you agreed/disagreed with it!! 

[cosmichorrorsarestillnicerthanme]

Father… When will we be fed?

I do not know child, the writing gremlins have not been particularly kind this season. Still, with my own grit and the few scraps I have to share with you all, I shall ensure that you will not starve. You have my word.

[cosmichorrorsarestillnicerthanme]

Mine is Nyarlotep, the shit poster of the Outer Gods in the Cthulhu Mythos and the only that frequently interacts with mortal beings. I don't even remember where I grabbed it from, I just recall that, at the time I joined Tumblr, it was during a particularly horrendous wave of bots and one of the very first posts I saw was telling people how to identify them. That then led to me grabbing this here image. When I first started writing I intended to change it but never got around to it. Eventually, it just became the face of my blog.

@tragedy-of-commons

@snobwhimsicalityy

@heraldofcrow

@katyspersonal

@rottenpumpkin13

Reblog and tell us why your pfp is what it is

mine is my Sheikah OC, Plum, and Paya, her girlfriend

@angrypinkbunny @chatter-crow @magowlio @amberstone-16 @i-love-zelda-16 @plateapus

anyone else can join :3

[cosmichorrorsarestillnicerthanme]

Blasphemous clones will never reach their full potential as a genre until they reach beyond ambiguously Catholic warrior-priests as protagonists and embrace the wisdom of the van art wizard.

[cosmichorrorsarestillnicerthanme]

Announcement

Until July 11th, Fate will be receiving priority.

[cosmichorrorsarestillnicerthanme]

Hmm... by me a drink first.

Spin the wheel. You are now dating this SoulsBorne boss.

The sequel to the Elden Ring wheel, now with 222 entries (no images because of my fucking god)

Same rules: -Animals were cut -Assume all monster bosses can consent -Consort Radahn was cut cause I don't need to whack that hornet's nest

[cosmichorrorsarestillnicerthanme]

I don't know why, but for some reason you have a profoundly malevolent aura around you and you posts.

Thank you Anon, I really do try.

[cosmichorrorsarestillnicerthanme]

Current vibes?

Fuck it, we ball. Fuck it, we ball. Fuck it, we ball. Fuck it, we ball. Fuck it, we ball. Fuck it, we ball. Fuck it, we ball. Fuck it, we ball. Fuck it, we ball. Fuck it, we ball. Fuck it, we ball. Fuck it, we ball. Fuck it, we ball. Fuck it, we ball. Fuck it, we ball. Fuck it, we ball. Fuck it, we ball. Fuck it, we ball. Fuck it, we ball. Fuck it, we ball. Fuck it, we ball. Fuck it, we ball. Fuck it, we ball. Fuck it, we ball. Fuck it, we ball. Fuck it, we ball. Fuck it, we ball. Fuck it, we ball. Fuck it, we ball. Fuck it, we ball.

[cosmichorrorsarestillnicerthanme]

A Love Not For Her-Fu Xuan X Reader

I think Soulmate AU’s are too nice. I’m going to fix that.

Warnings: Angst, Hurt no Comfort

The Master Diviner, lady Fu Xuan, paced the floor of her office, glaring at the clock and waiting for a specific time.

No, it was not the end of her shift she was looking for.

It was the end of someone else’s.

It was the end of your shift she was waiting upon and she was counting down the seconds.

After so long, Fu Xuan had finally arrived at the perfect day of the perfect month of the perfect year for romance.

She had spent countless hours of her free time searching for every piece of literature on the divination of the subject.

She had done every ritual, followed every piece of superstition, and it was almost time.

Only a few more precious moments, and then she could finally ask you the question she had been desperate to ask for many long years.

Then, the clock finally struck the time she had been waiting for and she left her office at a brisk pace, stopping for no one and even nearly barreling over Qingque in the process, making the slacker come close to dropping all of her Celestial Jade pieces.

In no time at all, the Master Diviner had arrived.

However, instead of being met by a smiling face, she was met by something on your neck that made her heart begin to crack.

An, admittedly, somewhat cute looking jade green and white fish.

Fu Xuan had seen the mark on your neck before.

She had seen it twice in fact.

Once, on a tile of celestial jade Qingque had shown her.

And… once on the right calf of the owner of that same Celestial Jade piece.

It made her as envious of that woman then as it did now.

Once upon a time, Fu Xuan had a mark like that… it was right in the center of her forehead just like all of her predecessors.

And just like her predecessors, she no longer held it upon her skin.

Through the tears she could feel welling up behind her eyes, she briefly dreamed about that mark she had long since forgotten the shape of.

She dreamed that instead of the mark that marred your skin, it was hers there.

She dreamed, and allowed the tears to fall down her face.

Her vision went blurry, her hearing failed her, and her heart shattered.

Then, you turned around and ran towards her, shattering the dream as well.

“Lady Fu Xuan! Are you okay!?” you cried in concern as tears ran down the normally composed Master Diviner’s face.

“No, I just learned that the love of my life and the one who I have dreamed and imagined countless lifetimes with will never be mine as their love is not for me.”

That is what Fu Xuan wished to sob.

Instead, the Master diviner collected herself and answered your question with something vague, but also true.

“I will be fine. I simply had a vision of something that will never come to pass.”

[cosmichorrorsarestillnicerthanme]

Once more I am tempted to inflict terrible suffering upon all of you as I have done previously... it might just be time for some angst.

[cosmichorrorsarestillnicerthanme]

I had quite a bit of fun with this. @tragedy-of-commons @snobwaffles @lakeviewkitsune

you are going on a blind date that pinterest set up for you, find out who will be the lucky one and how the evening will end 💌

on pinterest search the following topics and post the first pin that will show up in each category

fictional character

date / night date

gift

outfit

dessert

love quote

tags: @catchmeonyourceiling @lovethornes @daystarpoet @beaucereza @chxrrybxmbi @dolcecuore @sororygilmore @auntiejohn @binibby @bvrnesher @ihatethecrowdsyouknowthat @certaimromance @effortlesslysweet @aezuria @mothswan @lydiasfalling @amrplastique @peanutalergy @xoxorory @xoxoivy13 @laufeysvalentine @minorlyatfault @jjsblueberry and whoever wants to join <3

[cosmichorrorsarestillnicerthanme]

Practice And Theory-Faust X Reader

Faust was… an acquired taste.

Most people figured that out within a few seconds of meeting her.

The way she would look through you, how she would make wild declarations such as “Faust Knows All”, how she referred to herself in the third person, how she spoke in riddles when it was most inopportune to do so.

Dante knew this all very well.

On their better days, she was an eccentric, but valuable and hard working subordinate.

On their worse ones, she was a constant pain in the neck that made their head ache which is a feat considering their complete lack of one.

Still, despite all of her… lets be charitable and call them personality quirks, she was probably the closest they had to a real right hand outside of Ishmael, or… maybe Meursault if Dante could remember to ask him for his thoughts on a subject that most would automatically speak about without prompting such as the weather in the city which ranged from miserable to only vaguely bearable depending on how acidic the rain was and how difficult it was to breath at any given moment.

Now they were getting off track.

Perhaps their current scatterbrained state had to do with the baffling request that Faust had just slid onto their table without any form of awkwardness, hesitation, or even the slightest change in her demeanor.

“You… wish to bring your spouse aboard Mephistopheles?” Dante ticked and tocked away, the sounds coming out stilted and almost as if their gears were grinding against each other and overheating in a vain effort to try and comprehend what they were reading.

“Like Faust has said three times previously: yes, Faust wishes to bring her spouse on board Mephistopheles. Faust’s spouse has already signed their papers and received permission from the higher ups and now only needs your signature to bring them aboard.” Faust answered simply and without any fanfare, as if it was common knowledge that the ever strange Faust who rarely gave a straight answer to anything had a significant other of any sort.

This was not helping Dante’s melting mind, in fact, it was making it worse.

Was it in bad taste to say that they would prefer fighting Don’s father all over again?

The clockheaded being let out a long, low hiss of air that could be considered equal to a sigh for Dante as they grabbed their “Fancy Pen” as Charon called it and placed its tip upon the paper before quickly scribbling their name down.

A moment later, Faust gently grabbed the paper off of Dante’s desk.

“Thank you Dante. Faust hopes your headache abates soon.” the white haired genius said in order to comfort the red clad manager who was massaging their nonexistent temples.

“Thank you Faust, I hope you and your spouse are happy.” The manager quietly ticked away as they turned their attention back to their paperwork in an effort to try and regain a sense of normalcy and control, both of which they have long since lost in their life.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

“Vroom Vroom will commence in ten minutes.” the intercom crackled with Charon’s voice.

“Cor Blimey, the lass is given us quite the tick this time ain’t she?” Heathcliff groaned as he shuffled out and into the aisle behind Hong Lu.

“I wonder what put her in such a generous mood? Perhaps our guide gave her some fancy candy?” Hong Lu Mused with a smile.

“U.N.” Ryoshu grumbled as she lit another cigarette.

“Unlikely Numbskull.” Sinclair helpfully translated.

“Truly! Lady Charon’s generosity knows no bounds!” Don Quixote happily declared with a hearty laugh.

“I… agree.” Outis grumbled through gritted teeth as if agreeing with Don Quixote physically pained the older woman.

The other sinners continued to mumble and grumble as they all filtered off the bus to stretch their legs and to try and get rid of any unpleasant cricks that were made by being jostled around by Charon’s… unique driving style.

However, in the middle of their small break from the madcap adventures of everyday life, Don Quixote broke the silence.

“Hark friends! One of unknown origin approaches!!!”

In an instant, the entire crew sans Faust was alert and holding their weapons aloft as someone carrying two suitcases rounded the corner and stopped dead in their tracks at the sight of eleven heavily armed people pointing their weapons at them.

“Uh… hi! I’m looking for Limbus Company’s Bus division. Is that you guys?” the person carrying the suitcases asked, despite looking like they would very much like to run back down the street at the moment.

“Correct. Faust welcomes you aboard.” the white haired genius clearly declared as she walked around Rodya who looked all too ready to throw her axe right between your eyes.

“Lady Faust, dost thou know this person?” Don whispered.

“Hmm… Faust would hope so. It would be considered strange to be betrothed to someone Faust does not know.” was the white haired genius’s response to the question she was posed.

This response caused several of the sinners to whip their heads towards faust with such speed it was a miracle that they did not snap their necks.

“W.T.F.”

“I… wha- y-you’re married!?”

“Ooh~! Miss Faust is engaged? Fascinating!”

“Faust? Jumpin the broom? Can’t say I ever thought THAT was possible…”

“Lady Faust! Art thou truly- Oh! This is a wondrous occasion!”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

The bus was filled with questions, a handful even coming from Vergilius himself as he was rather disturbed by the fact that someone as… unique as Faust was married to anything outside her research.

“Please! Do tell us of how thou and Lady Faust came to fall for one another!” Don’s infectiously joyous voice exclaimed.

“I’ve gotta admit, that’s somethin that’s been doin me in too.” Heathcliff muttered as he continued to struggle with connecting FAUST of all people with the concept of marriage while the rest of the bus sans Charon turned their eyes to you.

“Well… it all started with a little bit of practice, and a little bit of theory.” you began as you turned your mind to recall how you first met Faust.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Faust sat in a well worn office chair as she glared at the whiteboard filled with equations, chemical compositions, and mad scrawls across from the large table she was sitting at.

“Hamhampangpang is better fresh than leftover.” you muttered as you sat down at the table and opened the paper bag to pull out dinner.

Two sandwiches, two drinks, and two bags of chips alongside one side for each of you.

However, despite the heavenly smell of Hamhampangpang, Faust continued to focus on the board, as if staring at it for long enough would give her the answers she wanted.

All this drew from you was a bemused sigh as you picked up your chair and moved it next to her before unwrapping both sandwiches and holding one out to Faust’s mouth while you raised your own to your mouth with the other hand.

Immediately, Faust took a bite out of the almost perfect culinary miracle as she continued to glare at the board.

The two of you continued to eat in silence until you reached the end of your sandwich and muttered something that was, as far as you were aware, something completely inconsequential.

“The more we do this, the more we look like a married couple.”

These words which had no true meaning behind them, sent Faust leaping to her feet and made her eyes shoot open.

“That's it!” was all Faust said before wheeling around to grab you by the face and give you a kiss that could only be described as violent before she shot out of the room like a bat out of hell and left you to fall out of your chair in confusion with a blazing red face.

You have no idea how long you were on the floor as your mind rushed to try and keep up with what just happened.

However long it was, it was long enough for Faust to return and pull you upwards with strength that her more lithe form wouldn’t suggest she had before dragging you along with a look in her eyes that usually meant she was dead to the world as she tore away at the hidden truths of the universe.

Just like every time you saw her like this, you wanted to call her beautiful.

Unlike every time before, this was the only time you didn’t bite your tongue and did so.

“Save the well deserved compliments until you see Faust’s genius.” was all the manic scientist said in response as she practically kicked the door to the workshop open and revealed the thing that had been giving her such a headache for so long.

The Chassis of Mephistopheles.

She had long since worked out the engine, and the energy source, but the physical form was becoming a struggle to make work thanks to a myriad of issues.

Yet, it seemed she had figured it out if the brilliant madness in her eyes was any indication.

You were flung into the chair as Faust ran to the wall length whiteboard filled with equations, papers, and magnets.

Without any hesitation, Faust tore the papers and magnets away as she erased countless hours of her time before snatching up a marker and scrawling something out, something so simple it was taught in most basic science classes.

Something so simple, so obvious, you slammed your head into the table when you saw it.

It was the answer the two of you needed to figure out how to make the physical form of Mephistopheles work.

Gravity warps time and space.

Gravity defines life, gravity controls the flow of time, gravity is a constant.

Gravity rules above all else, and with gravity, a few feet of space can become infinite, or… fit the infinite into a few feet of space.

Before, the two of you had been trying to find a way to put an end to the infinite.

Now? All that was needed was to put simple theory into practice.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

“-and that’s how Faust and I first got involved.”

“Ooh! The two of you were Co-workers?” Rodya cheerily asked, desperate for details.

“We were also Roommates.” Faust added on helpfully.

Don let out a gasp before squealing.

“A.T.W.R.” Ryoshu mused with a laugh.

“And they were roommates? W-what does that mean?” Sinclair asked as he raised his eyebrow in confusion.

[cosmichorrorsarestillnicerthanme]

I love the type of woman that will actually just kill me🥰

The Anon speaks truth.

[cosmichorrorsarestillnicerthanme]

Open Your Heart-Ryoshu X Reader

This is, up to this point, what I would consider my best work. I've been sitting on it for a while due to its content involving Ryoshu cutting the reader open, but I feel like this needs to see the light of day for the Ryoshu lovers in the Limbus fandom.

I do hope you enjoy!

Also, a special thanks to @tragedy-of-commons without Gwen's pushing I probably would've never written this and kept it in my head till the end of my days.

Blood as paint, flesh as clay, muscle and sinew as binding and bone to hold it all together.

This is how Ryoshu views the bodies of the things that live.

Her body, your body, the body of every single stranger on the street, she viewed them all the same.

However, there were two, small distinctions between them and you.

The first distinction, is that the art she could make out of you, would be hers and only hers.

The second distinction is that she would make sure you lived.

This second distinction could be considered a sort of limit on her art, though if anyone said that they would find that their life would only last for as long as it took for Ryoshu’s blade to cleave them in half.

To her, it wasn’t a limit, it was a challenge.

Sure, she could easily make you into an art piece like all of her others.

However, what would be the point of treating you like all the others if you weren’t?

No, even Ryoshu had to admit that you were special, that you were a muse to her.

And so, as she sat on your midsection while the anesthesia worked its magic, desperately waiting for when she could finally start the process of slowly splitting your skin with a scalpel, she had to remind herself to be gentle, to remind herself to be patient.

She could’ve easily done this without the anesthesia, but the prospect of you going into shock was too much of a risk in her eyes.

It was when this thought crossed her mind, that she noticed that your eyes were looking directly into hers.

They were hazy, unfocused, and yet, she knew that she held your full attention.

Ryoshu smirked around her cigarette as she leaned down, placing her hands beside your head.

You knew just how to flatter her.

“P.R.E.T.T.Y.” Ryoshu declared, her eyes practically glowing as her hair fell like a curtain around her face, only lit by the light of her burning cigarette.

“Pleasurable Rapture, Eyes Tell Tales Y’know.” your mind filled in automatically right before Ryoshu shifted her weight onto one arm and placed her other hand over your eyes before closing them.

A few seconds later, Ryoshu knew that you were in the land of dreams.

Ryoshu let out a puff of smoke as an involuntary shudder took over her body.

She could feel your blood under your skin, she could tell exactly where she could cut to end your life in only a few seconds.

It would be so incredibly easy, barely even an inconvenience.

Instead, she picked up the razor sharp scalpel with a firm hand before gently placing it to the top of your sternum.

Then, the dark haired woman let out a breath she didn’t even know she was holding.

Slowly, carefully, lovingly, she dragged the blade down your chest, through skin, flesh, and muscle and to the bottom of your ribcage, a river of red following in its path.

Idly, she wondered if your blood was closer in hue to crimson, rust, or cadmium as a smile crawled across her face.

Either way, this hue seemed exceptionally beautiful to her as she placed the scalpel back into the tray.

Next, she grasped the clamps to spread open your skin and reveal unto her the last barrier for her to pass in order for her to reach her prize.

Your ribcage.

Gently, the artist placed her hand upon the bone, able to feel the thrum of your heartbeat through it.

The whisper at the back of her mind telling her to rip the rest of you open with her bare hands, as if you were a present on christmas day, was growing louder and louder, becoming a scream that reverberated within her skull.

Instead, Ryoshu reached to the side and grasped the electric bonesaw.

Usually, she would prefer to use a manual one if she even needed to, after all, the vast majority of her canvases fell to pieces with only a few quick strokes and slashes of her brush.

However, just because it was you, she decided she would be a little more gentle.

She flicked the switch, and within a few short seconds, the blade began to spin as an electric whirring filled Ryoshu’s ears.

Then, the electric whirring was replaced by the sound of a machine’s blade cutting through bone.

It was not… wholly unpleasant to Ryoshu’s ears, though she did much prefer the tactile feel of a manual.

She always was old fashioned when it came to her brushes, and she much preferred natural paints.

It was simply one of many personality quirks she had and by far it was the most normal of them.

“…And yet, you fell for me like a fool.” Ryoshu whispered as she gently removed the top of your ribcage, dropping her beloved SANGRIA for just this moment, something she had done precious few times before this moment.

With care that was uncharacteristic of the black haired artist, she placed the opening to the cage that had been guarding what she had sought upon a metal tray to the side.

Ryoshu’s hands shook as she burned the image before her into her mind.

A living subject, someone who had willingly become a work of her art was below her.

She could see your lungs expand and contract, she could see the striations on each rib she cut, she could point out the bone marrow, she could easily reach out and touch the countless veins that ran throughout your body and connected to her prize, and finally, she could well and truly grasp the object of her desires, your heart, in her hands if she so wished.

And so, that is exactly what she did, wrapping her hands with a delicate touch only reserved for the things most important to her.

She could feel your heart pulse and beat in her palms, sending blood to every part of your body as her own heart forced a small amount of blood to her own face, dusting her face with red red.

She knew better than almost anyone how easy it would be to crush the thing responsible for giving you life in the palm of her hands, to simply apply a little bit too much pressure and turn the fist sized organ to pulp.

And so, she let out a puff of smoke, and squeezed your heart gently as a smirk crossed her face and an idea crawled to the forefront of her mind.

She removed her hands, placing them on either side of you as she leaned down until she was just above the organ before shifting her weight once more, allowing her to use her free hand to hold her hair back.

Then, she leaned down…

And planted a kiss directly onto your heart.

Ryoshu smiled like mad, feeling your blood on her lips as she pulled herself up and looked at your fully revealed form one last time before she put you back together again.

She took her time, ensuring that she left everything as it was.

Well, almost everything.

All Artists need to leave their signatures somewhere after all.

And so, in addition to the scar you would carry even with the assistance of the second best medicine Ryoshu’s money could buy that would have you back to 100% in only a month or so, Ryoushu put her name on you, or more specifically, in you.

Right in the center of your sternum and close to your heart, was her name, carved into your bone.

[cosmichorrorsarestillnicerthanme]

Crawls out of my hole

here, my Bluesky.

*Throws it at you with enough force to give you a concussion*

Cosmichorrorsarestillnicerthanme (@cosmichorrorisnice.bsky.social) — Bluesky

[cosmichorrorsarestillnicerthanme]

Heyhey how life going?

Fine, I've just fallen down a very, very large rabbit hole thanks to First Berserker: Khazan and the connected lore. I've been trying to pull myself away from it long enough to write but the combat and boss fights have me in a chokehold. Both literally and figuratively considering the grab attacks.