cosmopebbles - Tumblr blog

[cosmopebbles]

can we lay in the grass and stare at the moon or is that lame

[cosmopebbles]

Oh to be kissed until I can barely think a single coherent thought

[cosmopebbles]

Do people even experience sexual attraction anymore or are we all just daydreaming about holding the person's hand and falling asleep in a meadow with them, the sun keeping us warm

[cosmopebbles]

i quit my first job and started working somewhere else but it’s kinda awful. it’s just so much to manage being a host and a busser, and i don’t get to know what time i’m done with work. which like is kinda a problem, i can’t drive so if i guess a time and i’m wrong then my mom is sitting in the car for an hour cause idk when i get to leave. on top of that i don’t like not knowing how long i’m working.

like it’s tech week this week and i’m working at 11:30am wednesday, but i have tech at 4. legally i can only work 3 and a half hours cause it’s a school day, but last wednesday i started at 11am and worked till almost 5:20pm. i had tech that day too. i thought i would be done at 4. like i’ve been there for almost a month and i’m pretty sure i can confidently say it isn’t working. i was so stressed about it i couldn’t even go to school last thursday. like i don’t even know when i get payed. it’s been almost a month since i’ve worked there and i set up direct deposit and like idk. the last paycheck i got was from my last job on april 30th.

anyways thanks for coming to my ted talk

[cosmopebbles]

not me being too anxious to sleep at the thought of having to call my work for a 3rd time to explain that i’m still sick tomorrow and potentially have to deal with questioning for why i didn’t call today, well yesterday now, because the idea of phone calls makes me wanna die

[cosmopebbles]

i feel like i should just quit my job, i’m too scared to actually talk to my boss, i’ve been there for like 6 months now and i still don’t know how actually calling out or having someone cover a shift for me works and the idea of having to pressure people into signing up for a credit card makes me feel gross. it took me an hour saturday to bully myself into calling and telling them i was sick and couldn’t come to work that day because i’d just gotten my second covid dose and could barely move because on top of that my spring/summer depression x2 is back and going to school is so overwhelming. i struggled to call them that first tuesday when i literally couldn’t even get out of the car to go to school i was so anxious. i was so scared to tell my boss i needed a mental health day because i didn’t know how he’d react and all he said was that i should find someone to cover my shift and if i can’t then call again. i couldn’t. how could i, i don’t have any way to talk to anyone from work, hell i only talk to my boss by calling the fucking store and having guest service transfer me to hr who transfers me to him. the amount of unnecessary anxiety that gives me too just ugh, it makes communication impossible for me. i really want to quit, there’s other people who would do so much better anyways, it’s far from school anyways, and if i wanna do anything this summer i might as well quit since they take 7 weeks (and counting) acknowledge that i can’t work at 12pm on mondays anymore. maybe i’d be better at a smaller place where it’s easier to communicate with my boss and coworkers, like it’s not completely up to me to get their contact information because i don’t wanna ask them cause i feel bad asking them cause i feel like they don’t like me. anyways hopefully no one read this all the way through, i didn’t really correct any spelling or grammar stuff and it’s long and unorganized which is hopefully off putting for readers so yeah :)

[cosmopebbles]

hiii i changed my username cause the idea of someone connecting the dots and realizing that i use the same dumb username for everything and finding my anxiety rants makes me wanna curl up and die so i changed it but it’s still gweb

[cosmopebbles]

I JUST REALIZED THERES A SERVICE DOG EMOJI FOR IPHONES

🐕‍🦺🐕‍🦺

look at this baby

i would die for this dog

[cosmopebbles]

i just realized how edgy i sounded in my old posts so now they’re gone forever