countbarov - Tumblr blog

[countbarov]

Buck really is the “overinvested ally to later-in-life bisexual pipeline” representation that so many of you were looking for, huh?

[countbarov]

whenever these homosexuals do anything I get energy back

[countbarov]

hello I have returned and I am vibrating with glee

[countbarov]

I'm back and it totally doesn't have anything to do with Twitter being down

[countbarov]

i am once again begging y’all to watch Galavant

[countbarov]

i'm the guy who writes the books that the protagonist in supernatural horror movies frantically reads somewhere in act ii. job's pretty easy. lot of "legends of vampires have recurred all throughout human history" and "demonologists agree that the quickest way to un-summon a demon is to trap it in a cursed object". no citations of course; they don't pay me citation money. i had to learn html back in the early aughts when everyone started seeking their supernatural info on websites they found via top search engines like FINDLER and WEBSIGHT but that's died down now which is great because i didn't have it in me to pick up css. currently working on a new book about horses that are evil. it's called HORSES THAT ARE EVIL in all caps so the protagonist can find it quickly to yank off the library shelf. it will be published 35 years ago.

[countbarov]

i want to thank the 1920s-1930s third wheel who saw their two friends lying in bed together in their underwear and stocking garters reading a book with their legs wrapped around each other and said “i am going to take a photograph of this”

[countbarov]

this is SO dumb but take it. the idea just decided to eat my brain

[countbarov]

downside: going to have to include a picture of the Giza pyramids in the slides for the lecture upside: i get to give people a crash course in why perspective matters in two frames, because

followed by

is such a funny sequence

[countbarov]

[countbarov]

Umineko is really good and I like it a normal amount

[countbarov]

wizards thinking of clerics as hacks cause we spent years of study learning the secrets of the universe they cheated and got a god to do their magic for them

clerics thinking of wizards as hacks cause we spent years serving and cultivating a deeply personal relationship with a god they copied down some cheat codes to make stuff blow up

[countbarov]

did it taste good

Wait, that was your boyfriend? Yeah, sorry we diablerized him. all the way. Yeah, like a Capri sun. We wanted to gain his power and rank. Sorry.

[countbarov]

We need to go back to using sailing ships full time like immediately. Yes it would take longer to get places but the Aesthetic is unmatched

Like there is nothing sexier hthan this

[countbarov]

A Magical Taxonomy

Warlock: from wær (old English, “pact/oath”) + loga (proto-Germanic, “liar”) + hard “-ck” (Scotch English); Oathbreaker (contextually; breaker of Baptismal Oaths; hence also Apostate)

Wizard: from Wis (old English, “knowledgeable”) + -ard (same, “too much of”); Possessor of too much knowledge

Witch: from weyk (proto-indo-European, “apart, separated, different”)[connotations akin to Latin’s “Sacre”]; Sacred Outsider

Sorcerer: from Sors (Latin, “Fate”) and Ser (same,“to bind”); Fate Manipulator

Druid: from dru (proto-Celtic, “Oak”) + weyd (same, “to see”); Oak-Seer, or Tree-Knower

Cleric: from kleros (Ancient Greek, “lots/ casting lots/ drawing lots”) [contextually; public servants were selected by drawing lots, as opposed to, say, voting]; Public Servant / Clerk

Bard: from bard (proto-Celtic, “Bard”); Bard