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123 days since my surgery!

I'm glad I looked at my countdown app today or I would have missed this!

I don't have crazy much to say about my surgery recovery.

I had my final check up w my surgeon and there's no concerns. I've been fully cleared for a while

however I was smoking a lot over the last few weeks and it was making my chest hurt (like the scars, not my lungs) so I've been cutting back a LOT

I keep either Vaseline, lotion, or scar tape on my scars as much as I can. lotion is nice cause it doesn't get on my clothes like Vaseline. the scar tape is kinda expensive (like 10 bucks per roll, a roll lasts me like 5? applications, but I could make it last longer if I didn't put it on my nipples too) so I only put it on if I know I won't need to shower for a day or so

besides that, I'm just so happy to finally be free

I saw the pics I took before surgery and it jump scared me so much!

I feel so hot now, and I take a many more pictures of myself because I like how I look!

I go shirtless around my house most of the time. I love just wearing athletic shorts with nothing else

what else?

my range of motion is still reduced but I really think it's a skin tightness rather than muscles? I'm getting a lot of stretch marks above my nipples because I think my surgeon pulled the skin too tight there (but I'd rather that than having loose skin or dog ears). I try to keep everything moisturized but I'm not sure its helping, or if there's something better to help it. but I'm able to do everything in my daily life, it's just lifting my arms straight up and stretching that's a bit difficult.

I'm so happy with my decisions and with my life. please, if you're thinking about getting top surgery, please do it. it's so freeing!

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could toby fox put all the undertale characters on art fight. is he allowed

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Unrelated: I have also been injected with praying mantis DNA

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I am wearing a scar healing tape (specifically aliver silicone scar sheets) it's been pretty helpful and way less itchy than the drying gel I also got (mederma advanced scar gel)

that just what the tape on my chest is for

oh I suppose I should document that I've had a weird texture start up on my right nipple. it's like a raised/bumpy texture and it hurts a bit to touch. I have an appointment with my surgeon this week so I will ask about it then. I don't think it's a major issue but I may need to put an antibiotic cream or something on it

anyway pic as promised, ft my new hair! (and face 👀)

59 days since my surgery

I'm feeling pretty good! had a few shifts back at work and while it's been a bit rough in my legs to get used to standing for 8 hours straight again, Im not having any issues with my upper body

I redyed my hair so it's finally bright red again. it was an auburn color for so long and I was getting tired of it!

pics in the reblogs

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59 days since my surgery

I'm feeling pretty good! had a few shifts back at work and while it's been a bit rough in my legs to get used to standing for 8 hours straight again, Im not having any issues with my upper body

I redyed my hair so it's finally bright red again. it was an auburn color for so long and I was getting tired of it!

pics in the reblogs

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48 days since I got top surgery

was gonna go to a local protest today but my friend who was gonna go with me didn't show up at our meet spot so I went home. turns out she was just late but now I'm home and I'm not leaving again

thanks autism for working me up so much

but now I'm at home enjoying the sunshine and my music

I've been extra cautious about exposing my chest to the sun. my surgeon said burns or tans could damage the scars as they heal

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new pics under the cut

these are a bit blurry after I cropped them. my bad lol

44 days since my surgery

I've been able to work out more recently. before surgery I would do pushups before my showers, and I was finally able to do some again. I've done one or two over the past few days, but today I did 5 pushups and 5 tricep pushups (where you lower yourself into a sitting position with your arms using a table behind you. idk if that is a good description but I'm sure y'all can look it up). I was shaking the whole way through, but nothing hurt so I went to 5 of each

after my shower I got some more pictures. there's nothing new to share but I'll put them in the reblog

I still have a little bit of numbness on my left side, in front of my arm pit. the right side isn't numb so I'm hoping the other will heal up soon. my right nipple is also gaining some sensation back which is exciting. my surgeon said I would not have feeling in my nipples, but I know another guy who got the same procedure who got some sense back. I wonder if it'll only be one nipple, or if the other will gain some sensation too.

I've got another dsa meeting today. it's a leadership meeting, so I'm just going to watch, I'm not really involved in this meeting, but I want to go, since I have nothing else to do today...

alright, hope everyone has a good day

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44 days since my surgery

I've been able to work out more recently. before surgery I would do pushups before my showers, and I was finally able to do some again. I've done one or two over the past few days, but today I did 5 pushups and 5 tricep pushups (where you lower yourself into a sitting position with your arms using a table behind you. idk if that is a good description but I'm sure y'all can look it up). I was shaking the whole way through, but nothing hurt so I went to 5 of each

after my shower I got some more pictures. there's nothing new to share but I'll put them in the reblog

I still have a little bit of numbness on my left side, in front of my arm pit. the right side isn't numb so I'm hoping the other will heal up soon. my right nipple is also gaining some sensation back which is exciting. my surgeon said I would not have feeling in my nipples, but I know another guy who got the same procedure who got some sense back. I wonder if it'll only be one nipple, or if the other will gain some sensation too.

I've got another dsa meeting today. it's a leadership meeting, so I'm just going to watch, I'm not really involved in this meeting, but I want to go, since I have nothing else to do today...

alright, hope everyone has a good day

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google show me huge boobs on a man

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43 days since surgery!

I'm cleared for work again, with no restrictions, according to my surgeon. I can stretch almost as well as before surgery. it's a bit difficult to put my arms straight up, but besides that I'm mostly healed!

I've been spending a lot of time participating in my local DSA. there's meetings that I can go to every few days for different things. I even picked up a bit more responsibility in an electoral committee as the secretary. I just take notes and keep track of members, but it's nice to have a responsibility.

I'm waiting for the new schedule to be sent out, cause my job does schedules 2 or 3 weeks ahead. I don't know exactly when my shifts will start back up but I'm kinda excited to go back. I'm excited to make money again at least!

I don't have much else I've been doing. been getting really into the sonic fandom recently after watching all 3 movies during recovery. I have seen many of the shows and I watched some descriptions of the comics. it's the games I have the least knowledge on tbh. I've only seen the snapcube fan dubs, which are great but I actually have no idea what's going on in the cutscenes lol

I plan to keep using this blog as a diary of sorts, so I apologize to anyone who wants to just read my transition journey. but to be honest even the stuff about my surgery is so intermixed with my feelings and life problems it might not be much help as a simple resource

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here it is! I'm so hot!

36 days since surgery!

I went clothes shopping today (I'm actually still in the checkout line lol) and it was very nice to try on clothes without getting dysphoric!!! I didn't actually get any shirts, they didn't fit me too well. but I'm happy with the new shorts I picked out. I just like being happy with my body! it's so nice!

I need to try some of the clothes I've been avoiding before I spend a bunch of money on new clothes (not that I have that much money anyway) but now is a good time to try all the stuff I've been too dysphoric to wear

I took a picture in the changing room too haha

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36 days since surgery!

I went clothes shopping today (I'm actually still in the checkout line lol) and it was very nice to try on clothes without getting dysphoric!!! I didn't actually get any shirts, they didn't fit me too well. but I'm happy with the new shorts I picked out. I just like being happy with my body! it's so nice!

I need to try some of the clothes I've been avoiding before I spend a bunch of money on new clothes (not that I have that much money anyway) but now is a good time to try all the stuff I've been too dysphoric to wear

I took a picture in the changing room too haha

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hehe I'm so hot!

I can finally take pictures of my hot af stomach without worrying it'll be considered nsfw

the lighting is bad I know lol. also I'm shiny cause I'm putting vaseline on my cuts and nipples all the time to keep them hydrated

30 days since surgery

turns out I calculated my days wrong. I thought tomorrow was day 30, but oh well. HAPPY 30 DAYS OF BEING BOOB FREE!!!

I'm feeling better every day. I don't have much to share since the last post I made. nothing surgery related anyway.

I slept in my bed for a bit this morning again. there's repairs on the house and they're using a jackhammer to access the foundation so once I woke up I went to my bed to sleep cause I can close my door and block out more sound.

sleeping in a bed causes me neck pain, but it's less than it was the first few times. I'm guessing it's cause my back hasn't been straight for a month now to straightening it hurts the muscles in other areas. idk tho

I'm able to sleep on my side a bit, as long as im not putting to much pressure on the cuts there. it's such a blessing! I miss sleeping in my side

as for other things in my life, I'm playing lots of Minecraft with some other trans men from the FTMblr community as well as playing some sekiro. I beat a boss yesterday while my sister was encouraging me, and it was pretty fun. gave me a bit of a headache tho, the game is so ugly I stg. (to clarify the graphics are fine it's just such a desaturated/washed-out game that I have the contrast maxed on my monitor and it makes my eyes hurt. but I wouldn't be able to see things otherwise. Cassie says it's a stylistic choice and I say it's a bad one) I do love the gameplay though so I'm glad to keep playing, I just have to take breaks regularly

Cassie and I went to a DSA (democratic socialist of america) meeting today and it went well. it's a general member meeting so we talked over the budget and some other boring stuff. I love it tho cause I was able to see some folks again I connected too. someone was giving away spider plants so I took one home with me! I also went to a bar afterwards with some folks and chatted for a bit. their food was very good. I didn't drink anything alcoholic cause the rain is really heavy and I will never drink and drive!

I also did my taxes earlier this week, it was pretty simple but annoying cause they got rejected at first. it was a simple fix I just had to change one number, but it was stressful to get the rejection notice!

I got some pictures after my shower today. they're not in good lighting but I'll put them in the reblog as usual.

Saturday is a big day for protests! seems like there's gonna be lots of stuff as well as counter protests. Cassie and I are gonna go to one we went to a few weeks in a row but we haven't gone since my surgery. I miss it, and I'm glad to go again! I even bought some water and snacks for people! I'll need to bring something to carry them in... hmmm. a wagon would be cute, but idk if we have one lol

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30 days since surgery

turns out I calculated my days wrong. I thought tomorrow was day 30, but oh well. HAPPY 30 DAYS OF BEING BOOB FREE!!!

I'm feeling better every day. I don't have much to share since the last post I made. nothing surgery related anyway.

I slept in my bed for a bit this morning again. there's repairs on the house and they're using a jackhammer to access the foundation so once I woke up I went to my bed to sleep cause I can close my door and block out more sound.

sleeping in a bed causes me neck pain, but it's less than it was the first few times. I'm guessing it's cause my back hasn't been straight for a month now to straightening it hurts the muscles in other areas. idk tho

I'm able to sleep on my side a bit, as long as im not putting to much pressure on the cuts there. it's such a blessing! I miss sleeping in my side

as for other things in my life, I'm playing lots of Minecraft with some other trans men from the FTMblr community as well as playing some sekiro. I beat a boss yesterday while my sister was encouraging me, and it was pretty fun. gave me a bit of a headache tho, the game is so ugly I stg. (to clarify the graphics are fine it's just such a desaturated/washed-out game that I have the contrast maxed on my monitor and it makes my eyes hurt. but I wouldn't be able to see things otherwise. Cassie says it's a stylistic choice and I say it's a bad one) I do love the gameplay though so I'm glad to keep playing, I just have to take breaks regularly

Cassie and I went to a DSA (democratic socialist of america) meeting today and it went well. it's a general member meeting so we talked over the budget and some other boring stuff. I love it tho cause I was able to see some folks again I connected too. someone was giving away spider plants so I took one home with me! I also went to a bar afterwards with some folks and chatted for a bit. their food was very good. I didn't drink anything alcoholic cause the rain is really heavy and I will never drink and drive!

I also did my taxes earlier this week, it was pretty simple but annoying cause they got rejected at first. it was a simple fix I just had to change one number, but it was stressful to get the rejection notice!

I got some pictures after my shower today. they're not in good lighting but I'll put them in the reblog as usual.

Saturday is a big day for protests! seems like there's gonna be lots of stuff as well as counter protests. Cassie and I are gonna go to one we went to a few weeks in a row but we haven't gone since my surgery. I miss it, and I'm glad to go again! I even bought some water and snacks for people! I'll need to bring something to carry them in... hmmm. a wagon would be cute, but idk if we have one lol

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I actually had a really great time seeing family again. it's been years since I've seen some of my cousins.

it was actually really wonderful! on of my cousins is wlw and I didn't know that! when we were alone she asked me "did you transition?" and when I said yes she asked me what name I go by now. simple as that! and all my cousins were very gender affirming with their words!

it's just another amazing reminder for me how fake the 'rural' vs 'urban' divide is when discussing queer rights. I absolutely had an amazing day today in a tiny coal mining town in PA. sure I didn't interact much with my aunts or uncles, but they all hugged me and said they were glad to see me. and the people I did spend time with, the people my age, were amazing! we laughed at how ugly cyber trucks are together!

I got some of my cousins contacts so we can stay in touch. it's unlikely I'll see them in person for a while but I am so glad to be able to talk with them online at least!

now it's another 6 hour ride back to my parent's house 😣

27 days since my surgery

I'm in my parent's car riding to Pennsylvania today. it's a 6 hour drive, and since we had to leave so early I'm gonna try to sleep in the car. I doubt I'll get much but resting my eyes feels good

we're traveling because my grandma died this weekend so we're going for her funeral. I don't have any strong emotions about it, but I do feel compassion for my dad, since this was his mom.

it's so wonderful to be able to dress nice now (even for something like a funeral) because I don't have to think about how my shirt looks on me!!! I'm genuinely so excited for this funeral, which sounds like an entirely unhinged thing to say 😅

I just have to deal with being in an enclosed space with my family for 12 hours total...

I'll manage tho. they're not that bad as long as trans/gay stuff doesn't come up. they're literally the embodiment of 'nice as long as you don't talk politics or religion'. yeah they misgender me but it's honestly funny at this point cause I look so masculine

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27 days since my surgery

I'm in my parent's car riding to Pennsylvania today. it's a 6 hour drive, and since we had to leave so early I'm gonna try to sleep in the car. I doubt I'll get much but resting my eyes feels good

we're traveling because my grandma died this weekend so we're going for her funeral. I don't have any strong emotions about it, but I do feel compassion for my dad, since this was his mom.

it's so wonderful to be able to dress nice now (even for something like a funeral) because I don't have to think about how my shirt looks on me!!! I'm genuinely so excited for this funeral, which sounds like an entirely unhinged thing to say 😅

I just have to deal with being in an enclosed space with my family for 12 hours total...

I'll manage tho. they're not that bad as long as trans/gay stuff doesn't come up. they're literally the embodiment of 'nice as long as you don't talk politics or religion'. yeah they misgender me but it's honestly funny at this point cause I look so masculine