cowardlies

[cowardlies]

you don't understand.

the orange/blue blog aesthetic i could pull for him would be so hot.

[cowardlies]

the orange/blue blog aesthetic i could pull for him would be so hot.

[cowardlies]

do you ever think about nine and the "you would make a good dalek" line, do you ever think about the horror of that statement. how he has never heard something so terrible, how he believes it.

[cowardlies]

Ninth Doctor : portrayed by Christopher Eccleston

[cowardlies]

Send me a  ♗ and I’ll use my icon style to make an icon of your muse

[cowardlies]

#𝐂𝐎𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐋𝐈𝐄𝐒 i can feel it. the turn of the earth. the ground beneath our feet is spinning at a thousand miles an hour, and the entire planet is hurtling round the sun at sixty seven thousand miles an hour, and i can feel it.we're falling through space, you and me, clinging to the skin of this tiny little world, and if we let go. that's who i am. now, forget me. go home.

an independent , headcanon based. selective + low activity . penned by jayne 24. exploring themes of : wanderlust  , isolation , strength in weakness , questioning morality , the trials of war , fleeting immortality , what it means to be human .

[cowardlies]

𝟐𝟎𝟎 𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐎𝐌 𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐔𝐄 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒 

from this generator.

❛ close your eyes and hold out your hands. ❜ ❛ what are you smiling at? ❜ ❛ i can’t leave you alone for one minute, can i? ❜ ❛ was it you? did you do all this? ❜ ❛ i don’t know how you do this every day… ❜ ❛ that is not an appropriate question to ask a lady you’ve just met. ❜ ❛ i’m not sorry. ❜ ❛ i did warn you not to trust me. ❜ ❛ do you remember anything? at all? ❜ ❛ you’re lucky you’re cute. ❜ ❛ why don’t you just kill me? ❜ ❛ did you hurt yourself? ❜ ❛ i could show you the way. ❜ ❛ i don’t feel so good. ❜ ❛ you owe me a dinner. a very nice dinner. ❜ ❛ don’t go. please. ❜ ❛ you wanna know what your problem is? ❜ ❛ i’m here to drink alone. ❜ ❛ don’t run away from this. ❜ ❛ i’m just saying, murder is an option. ❜ ❛ i didn’t realize you were in so much pain. ❜ ❛ i guess it runs in the family, huh? ❜ ❛ you wouldn’t understand. ❜ ❛ we’ve been through a lot. i think we should just lay low and take it easy. ❜ ❛ dangerous to be out so late. ❜ ❛ i hope you haven’t been standing out in the cold this whole time. ❜ ❛ i made a mistake. ❜ ❛ am i not good enough? ❜ ❛ i’m going to get you out of here. ❜ ❛ why did you bring me here? ❜ ❛ aren’t we in a good mood today? ❜ ❛ don’t shut me out. please. ❜ ❛ the storm’s getting worse. ❜ ❛ i never meant to hurt you. ❜ ❛ you’re about as intimidating as a butterfly. ❜ ❛ have you come to laugh at me in my miserable state? ❜ ❛ here, take this. you’ll catch a cold. ❜ ❛ this is the part where you leave. ❜ ❛ why are you talking like we’ll never see each other again? ❜ ❛ you stepped on my foot! ❜ ❛ you’re not a very convincing liar. ❜ ❛ we’re in completely different leagues. ❜ ❛ how did you find me? ❜ ❛ i don’t need you anymore. ❜ ❛ rough day today? ❜ ❛ snap out of it! ❜ ❛ you look better in my clothes than i do. ❜ ❛ why are you still here? ❜ ❛ can i ask… what happened? ❜ ❛ are you saying you care about me? ❜ ❛ i won’t let anyone hurt you. ❜ ❛ it’s not stealing if it was mine to begin with. ❜ ❛ well, this is where i live. ❜ ❛ we’re not so different after all. ❜ ❛ how long have i been asleep? ❜ ❛ no more lies, no more secrets. ❜ ❛ can you forgive me? ❜ ❛ i thought you… i saw you get shot. ❜ ❛ why are you really here? ❜ ❛ i wish we never met. ❜ ❛ you look like you need a hug. ❜ ❛ would you run away with me? ❜ ❛ see? i’m not just a pretty face. ❜ ❛ we can stop them. i can help you. ❜ ❛ what now? i’m tired. ❜ ❛ i didn’t want you to see me like this. ❜ ❛ i can’t do this without you. ❜ ❛ if you tell me yours, i’ll tell you mine. ❜ ❛ are you threatening me? ❜ ❛ did you ever care about me? ❜ ❛ treat me like the princess that i am! ❜ ❛ i’m not leaving you. ❜ ❛ why did you come? ❜ ❛ i need your help… and you need mine. ❜ ❛ i wish i could hate you. ❜ ❛ i see you don’t recognize me. well, it was a long time ago. ❜ ❛ you’ve lost a lot of blood. ❜ ❛ i had my suspicions, but until now i wasn’t sure. ❜ ❛ there’s nothing left for me here. ❜ ❛ that is… literally illegal. you’re describing something illegal. ❜ ❛ wait. i’ve heard that sound before. ❜ ❛ just try to hang on. ❜ ❛ so why’s it so important anyway? ❜ ❛ i’ll stay in tonight, thanks. ❜ ❛ we can’t keep going on like this. ❜ ❛ in about a minute, you’ll be sorry you didn’t listen to me. ❜ ❛ is this seat taken? sorry, it’s a bit crowded here. ❜ ❛ you can’t leave me here alone! ❜ ❛ i’ll believe it when i see it. ❜ ❛ why are you laughing? this is a very serious situation. ❜ ❛ i bought two. here. ❜ ❛ i’ve seen you before, walking by. ❜ ❛ why can’t i come with you? ❜ ❛ c'mon. aren’t you worried what might happen if we go? ❜ ❛ walk with me? ❜ ❛ it’s very rude to stare. ❜ ❛ how many times have i told you? you can’t visit me here. ❜ ❛ we can’t fix this. can we? ❜ ❛ are you going to kill me? ❜ ❛ it’s not like you can stop me. ❜ ❛ it’s not safe for people to see us together. ❜ ❛ take me with you. ❜ ❛ some risks are worth taking. ❜ ❛ let them go. take me instead. ❜ ❛ what do you want in exchange for it? ❜ ❛ is being drunk an excuse? ❜ ❛ promise me you won’t overreact. ❜ ❛ how can i possibly trust you? after all you’ve done. ❜ ❛ how long have you been standing there? ❜ ❛ why did you wake me? ❜ ❛ i’m not here to talk about my feelings. ❜ ❛ you were going to leave without saying goodbye? ❜ ❛ for some reason, i’m attracted to you. ❜ ❛ promise me? ❜ ❛ it’s nothing, i’m just tired. ❜ ❛ i feel safe with you. ❜ ❛ i don’t need your help. ❜ ❛ i think i have a bit more experience with this thing than you do. ❜ ❛ no way, i’m not doing that. ❜ ❛ i do care. ❜ ❛ you snore in your sleep. it’s adorable. ❜ ❛ i have a spare bed. ❜ ❛ you’re very kind. some day it’ll get you killed. ❜ ❛ you’ll always have a home with me. ❜ ❛ of course i care. you’re my family. ❜ ❛ you shouldn’t insult people that are bigger than you. ❜ ❛ i never wanted to hurt you. ❜ ❛ i swear it wasn’t me. ❜ ❛ we can just sit here, you don’t have to talk. ❜ ❛ did you miss me? ❜ ❛ this isn’t just about you. it’s about what’s best for all of us. ❜ ❛ you can never admit when you’re wrong! ❜ ❛ is this what you wanted? ❜ ❛ what are you doing out here by yourself? ❜ ❛ sorry to put you through that. i guess i owe you one now. ❜ ❛ the only time you talk to me is when you need something. ❜ ❛ i’m still learning. ❜ ❛ if you have something to say, spit it out. ❜ ❛ you… don’t like me very much, do you? ❜ ❛ i’m on your side. ❜ ❛ i risked my life for you! ❜ ❛ whatever you’re going to ask, the answer is no. ❜ ❛ you can stay with me. ❜ ❛ i just need time. ❜ ❛ please don’t do this, don’t act like you care. ❜ ❛ who the hell invited you? ❜ ❛ what? no witty remark? nothing clever to say? ❜ ❛ i just wanted to say i’m sorry. ❜ ❛ think of it as a compliment. ❜ ❛ do you ever stop being so serious and dull? ❜ ❛ it’s rare to see your kind around here. ❜ ❛ you remember me. that’s good. ❜ ❛ you’re a terrible flirt you know. ❜ ❛ are you kidding me? we’re not ‘fine’! ❜ ❛ right now i wish i was dead. ❜ ❛ i guess i should’ve told you. ❜ ❛ you’re not alone. i’m here. ❜ ❛ you’ve been so quiet. what’s on your mind? ❜ ❛ knowledge is power. ❜ ❛ you scared me. ❜ ❛ well, what’s so strange about that? ❜ ❛ don’t look at me like that. ❜ ❛ i want to be there when you get what’s coming to you. ❜ ❛ just who do you think you are? ❜ ❛ you look… amazing. ❜ ❛ we’re safe, aren’t we? ❜ ❛ you know, i really hoped i’d never see this place again. ❜ ❛ don’t touch me. get away from me. ❜ ❛ i thought you’d like this. ❜ ❛ it’s too dark, i can’t see anything. ❜ ❛ what’s that smug look for? you think you can do any better? ❜ ❛ who did you piss off this time? ❜ ❛ you should’ve thought about that before you got into a fight. ❜ ❛ i only wanted to help. ❜ ❛ you knew and you didn’t tell me? ❜ ❛ you don’t scare me. ❜ ❛ wow, look who remembered my existence. ❜ ❛ change isn’t easy. ❜ ❛ why did you help me? ❜ ❛ why do you hate me? ❜ ❛ i can’t even trust myself anymore. ❜ ❛ i was making sure you weren’t dead, since you never called. ❜ ❛ you look awful. what happened? ❜ ❛ are you here to kill me? ❜ ❛ you know you aren’t allowed in here, right? ❜ ❛ was that a friend of yours? ❜ ❛ two years later and you haven’t changed. ❜ ❛ you look like you just saw a ghost. ❜ ❛ nobody tells me what to do. ❜ ❛ you’re too scared to do it, aren’t you? ❜ ❛ come on. it can’t be that bad. ❜ ❛ i hope to repay your kindness someday. ❜ ❛ just let me do this for you. ❜ ❛ why were they coming after you? ❜ ❛ how many people have you killed? how many? ❜ ❛ how much do you value your life? ❜ ❛ you don’t know when to give up, do you? ❜ ❛ don’t lie to me. ❜ ❛ i’m not sober enough to talk about this. ❜ ❛ have a drink with me. ❜

[cowardlies]

#𝐂𝐎𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐋𝐈𝐄𝐒 i can feel it. the turn of the earth. the ground beneath our feet is spinning at a thousand miles an hour, and the entire planet is hurtling round the sun at sixty seven thousand miles an hour, and i can feel it.we're falling through space, you and me, clinging to the skin of this tiny little world, and if we let go. that's who i am. now, forget me. go home.

an independent , headcanon based. selective + low activity . penned by jayne 24. exploring themes of : wanderlust  , isolation , strength in weakness , questioning morality , the trials of war , fleeting immortality , what it means to be human .

[cowardlies]

*lying* why would i lie

[cowardlies]

pspspsps ask me about the doctor please —

[cowardlies]

DOCTOR WHO 1.10 | The Doctor Dances

[cowardlies]

no version of the doctor should be alone but nine specifically hurts me personally. pre-rose he is actively avoiding companionship, he is isolating himself, there is no repose between adventures he is jumping so rapidly from one to the next because he cannot stand to be alone with himself. he is extraordinarily self destructive at the best of times and nine fresh from the time war is at his lowest.

part of his reasoning for this, is an attempt to even the scales ( he has to do it by himself, he can’t put anyone else in danger ) , to make up for what he’d done during the war, to end the war even if he will never admit it. the doctor kept count of every life he took in the end of the time war, and that number is always there at the back of his mind.

[cowardlies]

anyway, i talk about this everytime i remake this blog, but it is very important y’all know

nine is the war doctor, my blog fully relies on that fact. he is running from his trauma, he keeps himself busy, jumping from adventure to adventure, danger to danger, ( pre-rose this is also done in an extremely self destructive way due to self imposed isolation and a lack of care for himself. ) he does not believe himself to be a good man, and he is capable of acts of cruelty. their arc is dedicated to learning to trust again, to heal and accept love and companionship. ( i plan to write this meta eventually. )

[cowardlies]

distrust has felt more like a natural state in this incarnation, though most days he isn't certain that distrust is meant for himself or others,s some thing he has projected onto those he is meant to trust. but then . . . who does he have ?

❝ will you stop acting like my babysitter ? ❞ the doctor snaps with a rage that is not meant for @profsong , irritation flickers over his face with something else, shame ? not quite.

this doctor, this face he wears feels like exposed nerves, too open and too closed all at once. suddenly, he needs distance, the desire to run itches at his palms, beats in his hearts, a low thrum, an ache. fingers move over buttons, flicking switches to land the tardis. ❝ i'm perfectly capable of making up my own stupid ideas, thanks. ❞

[cowardlies]

once again thinking about the doctor having to face the consequences of things he hasn't done yet and how natural of an experience that is for him. thinking about him just nodding his head and going along with a conversation even though he has no idea what it's about or what he did. he is just aware enough to go "yeah probably deserve that."

[cowardlies]

tardis thrums beneath his feet, he can feel her heart between his own, there have been times she has been his only company. far too used to isolation, far too distant, even if interaction comes as second nature. he is not built for loneliness, even when he deserves it. he moves around the console, his gaze avoidant, not staying in one place long. hands move over switches and buttons, flick over metal as she hums to life.

why didn't you stop me?

the weight of the world on his shoulders, what was one more death on his list really ? ❝ i couldn't if i'd tried. think we both know you're just as stubborn as i am. think the term is rock and a hard place ? unstoppable force and immovable object. ❞ hand moves, gesturing between jack and himself.

a better man would have. but it has been some time since the doctor saw himself as anything other than what he is. a coward. finally, eyes fall on @undyingrogue , mind running a mile a minute searching for an answer that might have any worth. any words that don't involve the term greater good. he has done many things for the greater good, and sacrificing the people he cares for is a sacrifice high on the list.

❝ i should have tried. ❞ all the losing battles he'd fought in the centuries of life he'd lived, the ones he'd won despite the odds. i should have.

[cowardlies]

* MITSKI LYRICS FROM VARIOUS SONGS PROMPTS ,

your mother wouldn't approve of how my mother raised me.

i always want you when i'm finally fine.

would you tell me if you want me?

i love it when you call my name.

what do you do with a loving feeling if the loving feeling makes you all alone?

can i sleep in your house tonight?

i don't want your pity, i just want somebody near me.

come inside and be with me.

i don't know what to do without you.

why didn't you stop me?

i can still smell the fire even though it's long died out.

there’s no need to be brave.

i think i'm gonna lose my mind.

i fell in love with a war and nobody told me it ended.

nobody fucks me like me.

i'm staying up late just in case you come up and ask to leave with me.

i'll leave once i figure out how to pay for my own life too.

fuck you and your money.

it would be a hundred times easier if we were young again.

i gave too much of my heart tonight.

i am stronger than you give me credit for.

i don't need anything other than you.

but how long can we play this way? i'm tired of not loving you.

you know me better than i do.

it doesn't matter how you lived, the only thing that matters is the way that you died.

i just need a quiet place where i can scream.

i'm a fool to want you.

i know i've kissed you before, but i didn't do it right.

you only love me when we're all alone.

i get mean when i'm nervous like a bad dog.

i don't know what to say about any of this.

can tell them what you saw in me, and not the way i am?

i love it when you look my way.

we're two slow dancers, last ones out.

i should tell them that i'm not afraid to die.

i think my fate is losing its patience.

when i find a knife's sticking out of my side, i'll pull it out without questioning why.

i miss you more than anything.

can I dream for a few months more?

i just want to feel alright.

this is the kind of job that needs a bastard to see it through.

my god, i'm so lonely.

i always wanted to die clean and pretty.

there's nobody better than you

i don't think about the past, it's always there anyway.

i will take good care of you.

time and time again i’ve said i'd leave you.

i thought maybe we would kiss tonight.

what those dead men say that they do will never be the absolute truth.

don't wait for me, i can't come.

just 'cause you're dead doesn't mean that your mission is done.

i haven't told anyone, just like we promised.