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6 years later, med school done, i still hate my decision and fear the future

First week of uni-done ✔️
You know how they say, that you should get out of your comfort zone and experience new things and blahblahblah? Well guess what, my comfort zone just fucking exploded...
To methaphorically put it into words, I feel as if I’m on a intensely circulated country road, with holes in the asphalt, without any road signs, without even marks on the road and it’s dark and there are no lights and I gotta make sure I don’t crash into anyone or anything. The goal is, I suppose, to finally get to the highway and safely drive forward, only forward, until the final destination...
Until then, fingers crossed that I’ll be able to get used to this new life that I’m currently creating for myself
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The fact that this was 3 years ago and now it’s ten times worse is… A nightmare.
The fact that the US is a million times more fucked up now than it was back then is smth i would’ve never predicted.
Now we hate both ukrainian& palestinian kids yet still scream for abortion bans 🥰
And our country is probably in the biggest crisis it’s been honestly since WW2, yet somehow, somehow, out of all the horrible possibilities we ended up with the best outcome. This shocks me the most, would u have asked me if the current political situation was possible back in dec was possible, i would’ve laughed in your face. How strange and deeply fucked life is…
In the light of ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’ emerging in the USA, obviously my fellow Romanians absolutely h a d to have an opinion. Naturally, males were the most vocal, bcs they are the ones whose bodies are not 100% theirs anymore… And what kills me the most is that we are not even 40 years away from a time where abortion was illegal here, a time where so many unwanted babies were born and so many women died horrible deaths by performing unsafe abortions at home… Yet our alpha males don’t seem to care. One of them said that ‘thanks to that law I am currently here’ and that the babies born bcs abortion became illegal will be ‘alive and happy’. And I honestly wanna move to Mars. I’m too heartbroken to go into details about how you can’t fucking claim to protect ‘unborn babies rights’ because said rights do not exist, I just want to point out that, again, and again, and again, women’s lives and women’s bodies are being targeted by… Men. It’s always men, I swear to God, in any situation, anywhere, there will be a man telling you what or how it’s done, even if he has absolutely no idea what he’s talking about. And I don’t wanna go into misandry here, but good God sometimes I really wish they would sit down, and shut up, and listen, and not try to undestand, ‘cause they can’t possibly fucking understand pregnancy, but believe us and take our opinions about our own fucking bodies into consideration.
Like… how tf can you go out and protest against abortions, harass women that go into clinics to get one, yell, at the top of your lungs, about how those ‘babies’ lives should be protected, but at the same time not give one single fuck about kids that are already born???? You can’t shut up about the rights of some cells that resemble a teratoma more than a human (cells that, conveniently, don’t disagree with you, don’t criticise you, don’t ask for anything), yet you turn a blind eye to immigrant children, ACTUAL LIVING HUMAN BEINGS, that die at the borders????(that goes for u too europe, fuck u too)
I remember a few years back, after the elections in Ro when a political party that represents the Medieval Ages somehow earned more votes than it should’ve in a country that considers itself civilized, someone asked them on Ig what should a 12 year old that was raped and got pregnant do (‘cause they are obv anti-abortion, couldn’t have expected anything else). And they said ‘give birth’. Case closed. 2025 is just around the corner and I’m terrified of who will govern the country
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Still here, 3 years later 😂
Pogačar my beloved
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A very basic sponge cake (i guess??) with pears that fell from our pear tree and nectarines form the farmer’s market (or maybe Lidl) and some walnuts to top it all off
To little dough and too much fruit for me but ppl said it was good, so 🤷🏻♀️
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Apple&walnuts pie
Romanian traditional Easter cheesecake with a twist- or ‘pască’ without dough and with a poppyseed filling
A cheddar, jalapenos&dried tomatoes sourdough loaf
Some triple choc chips cookies that went on a hike
I call this post ’the last baked goods before the fall of democracy’ 🫠
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2 months late but it is what it is
The Xmas&NYE candy bar:
coconut ‘truffles’ shaped like snowmen
brownie pine cones
Christmas shaped butter cookies
Linzer cookies with a personal twist- no almond essence or flour in the dough& filled with romanian plum jam (‘magiun’)
3 beautiful amazing cozonaci- with chocolate& hazelnuts, as per this account’s name, with walnuts ‘cause I sometimes like to be a traditional girly and bcs somebody requested it, a Dubai-themed cozonac (with pistachio cream& cataif filling)
mini-tarts filled with a soft vanilla cream and an insertion of homemade orange jam, topped with a piece of candied orange
And my absolute favourite:

These lil’ boxes that I gifted and that I think are so freakin’ cute 🥹
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After the horrible past 3 weeks in which I felt we’re succombing back to communism, I decided to focus on Christmas in order to preserve what little sanity I have left…
So these are the little Secret Santa gifts that I made. I think the gingerbread was the best I’ve ever made and I’m obsessed with the packaging, I think it’s very cute and overall I’m super proud with how these turned out (and I received some very positive reactions which made my heart so full it could burst)
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Honestly, with all the tradwife cooking trash circulating, it only makes me love B Dylan Hollis more for baking vintage recipes while being openly gay, making sexual jokes, and screaming at the ingredients. He's the antithesis of every soft-spoken cishet woman cooking for her husband and children. You don't have to be an idyllic cottagecore housewife to cook.
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2024 will be better 2024 will be better 2024 will be better 2024 will be better 2024 will be better 2024 will be better 2024 will be better 2024 will be better 2024 will be better 2024 will be better 2024 will be better 2024 will be better 2024 will be better 2024 will be better 2024 will be better 2024 will be better 2024 will be better 2024 will be better 2024 will be better 2024 will be better 2024 will be better 2024 will be better 2024 will be better 2024 will be better 2024 will be better 2024 will be better 2024 will be better 2024 will be better 2024 will be better 2024 will be better 2024 will be better 2024 will be better 2024 will be better 2024 will be better 2024 will be better 2024 will be better 2024 will be better 2024 will be better 2024 will be better 2024 will be better 2024 will be better 2024 will be better 2024 will be better 2024 will be better 2024 will be better 2024 will be better 2024 will be better 2024 will be better 2024 will be better 2024 will be better 2024 will be better 2024 will be better 2024 will be better 2024 will be better 2024 will be better 2024 will be better 2024 will be better 2024 will be better 2024 will be better 2024 will be better 2024 will be better 2024 will be better 2024 will be better 2024 will be better
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terrible years really make you understand the point of a new year. i know nothing much will have changed between dec 31 and jan 1, but we need to be able to partition off everything that’s happened to us, we need a moment to say, ‘that’s done, we’re done with it, it’s over’ and have a little hope that the future will be different. we need to be able to stop and take a breath and sing, in the middle of winter, and prepare ourselves for spring.
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My wish goes out to everyone who isn't even hoping for a particularly happy new year—just a quiet one, a peaceful and even boring one, where nothing terrible happens:
This year, may we all be surprised by joy.
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You want me to use anti-ageing products? The thing that killed Dorian Gray?
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Sorry for being a bitch earlier, I needed to lay in the dark with my headphones for 3 hours to feel better
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Hey btw I don't know who needs to hear this, but those adults telling you that your teen years are the best years of your life? Yeah I don't know what the hell they're smoking, either. I'm 29 and every once in a while I just sit here and think "man, it sure sucked to be 14. Glad I never have to do that again."
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i have no idea what’s happening w my life at this point. i just make cute playlists and admire sunlight on chilly fall mornings
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