craftycrab
craftycrab
The Craftiest Of All Crustaceans
11K posts
Side effects may include: dizziness, nausea, heartache, missing spleens, and violent nosebleeds.
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
craftycrab · 7 hours ago
Text
me holding a gun to a mushroom: tell me the name of god you fungal piece of shit
mushroom: can you feel your heart burning? can you feel the struggle within? the fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. you cannot kill me in a way that matters
me cocking the gun, tears streaming down my face: I’M NOT FUCKING SCARED OF YOU
771K notes · View notes
craftycrab · 7 hours ago
Text
i love the -with mama trend but sometimes i get sad because that is clearly papa and he aint getting any credit raising those darn kids...
46K notes · View notes
craftycrab · 1 day ago
Text
things you DO NOT need to be a man
a dick
he/him pronouns
XY chromosomes
things you DO need to be a man
the swiftness of a coursing river
the force of a great typhoon
the strength of a raging fire
the mysteriousness of the dark side of the moon
^this post was brought to you by LGBT^
Let's
Get down to
Business
To defeat the huns
79K notes · View notes
craftycrab · 1 day ago
Text
Tumblr media
4K notes · View notes
craftycrab · 2 days ago
Text
it pisses me off SO bad how transphobes have so effectively used sports to launder transphobia and misogyny to people. like does nobody remember like ~5-10 years ago when it was a MAJOR feminist talking point to argue for desegregating sports and going by skill level instead of gender separation??? and now, because so many cis people hate trans people so violently and think we should be excluded from all aspects of public life, you’ve got a whole bunch of women who call themselves feminists laundering misogynistic talking points about how “women are just inherently weaker and worse at athletics than men :(( it’s just biology and women are inherently inferior :(( this is definitely not misogyny that’s unsupported by science, women are just weaker and worse at things :((“ like girl open your ears and listen to what you’re saying!!
25K notes · View notes
craftycrab · 2 days ago
Text
Tumblr media
73K notes · View notes
craftycrab · 2 days ago
Text
I see the radfems out there saying that every man who's ever been born is a psychopath who's constantly looking for an opportunity to commit a felony and then I remember this one time I was really struggling to get a shopping cart out of another shopping cart and a dude came over to help me, but he couldn't do it, and then another dude came over to help him, and then another came over because it was a challenge he wanted in on, and then I had 3 guys all tearing at a stuck shopping cart, and literally none of them even needed a cart.
And when they got it out, they fist pumped and I said thanks so much and one of them said "easy." And then they left.
And it's like.
I don't think radfems go outside.
28K notes · View notes
craftycrab · 2 days ago
Photo
Tumblr media
463K notes · View notes
craftycrab · 2 days ago
Text
Tumblr media
103K notes · View notes
craftycrab · 3 days ago
Text
Tumblr media
This is the most devastatingly accurate birding meme I've ever seen, bar none
14K notes · View notes
craftycrab · 3 days ago
Text
Me: dang I hate how my voice cracks on the chorus of Pink Pony Club but the rest of the song is so good.
Six-year-old at karaoke: I only know the chorus. Because I’m six.
Me: this was destined to be.
22K notes · View notes
craftycrab · 4 days ago
Text
36K notes · View notes
craftycrab · 4 days ago
Text
Tumblr media
Does this count as enemies to lovers?
1K notes · View notes
craftycrab · 4 days ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
4K notes · View notes
craftycrab · 4 days ago
Video
Tumblr media
6K notes · View notes
craftycrab · 5 days ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
interview with angelocaris
17K notes · View notes
craftycrab · 5 days ago
Text
31K notes · View notes