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cranktankerousgeneticist-blog · 8 years

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KARKAT: *Knock knock brofo, Karkat is barging his way into Dave's office and goes to sit down*

KARKAT: SO THIS IS A REAL SHITSHOW.

DAVE: -he glances up from his laptop behind his desk and nods- yeah you think

DAVE: i mean i appreciate the announcement but

KARKAT: BUT YOU'VE BEEN BURYING YOURSELF IN WORK SINCE IT'S HAPPENED? I FEEL LIKE YOU HAVEN'T GIVEN YOURSELF A BREAK SINCE.

DAVE: i took a break with bro in the waiting room

DAVE: that was long enough

KARKAT: SORRY IF I'M BEING OVERLY PICKY BUT I FEEL LIKE THE WAITING ROOM ISN'T EXACTLY A PLACE TO CLEAR YOUR HEAD AND REST UP.

KARKAT: SPEAKING OF, WHAT DID YOU LAST HEAR?

DAVE: -he shrugs- its all been vague

DAVE: like hes stable but in a coma so

KARKAT: HE'S STABLE AT LEAST WHICH IS A HELL OF A LOT BETTER THAN OTHER ALTERNATIVES.

KARKAT: AND HOW HAVE YOU BEEN?

DAVE: yeah that much is true

DAVE: -spins around in his seat-

DAVE: i mean

DAVE: my uncles in a coma

DAVE: but other than that

DAVE: cant complain or whatever

KARKAT: YOU CAN ALWAYS COMPLAIN DAVE. YOU'RE PRETTY GOOD AT THAT.

KARKAT: BUT I ALSO MEAN ON A PERSONAL LEVEL AND A PROFESSIONAL LEVEL.

KARKAT: YOU HAVE TO HOLD AND DETAIN THE BULGEWAD THAT STABBED YOUR UNCLE AND NOT TREAT HIM ANY DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU WOULD ANY CRIMINAL.

KARKAT: ALSO IT'S A LOT STRESS IN GENERAL.

KARKAT: AND YOU KNOW THIS JUST CAUSES MORE UNREST ON TOP OF THE UNREST OF THE FORMER BEFORAN EMPRESS BEING ON BOARD.

DAVE: i treat him differently off the clock -shrugs-

KARKAT: *stands and goes to stop his spinning* COME ON DAVE, YOU KNOW THERE IS NO "OFF THE CLOCK".

DAVE: -shrugs again-

KARKAT: *stoops down a little* DAVE.

DAVE: what

KARKAT: WHAT ARE YOU THINKING, MAN. TALK TO ME.

KARKAT: THIS IS A LOT OF SHIT TO DEAL WITH.

DAVE: -he sighs-

DAVE: i went down there and asked him why he did it and shit

DAVE: kind of lectured him i guess

DAVE: i got a little mad

DAVE: thats my uncle you know

KARKAT: YES DAVE I DO KNOW, AND AT LEAST YOU ONLY CHEWED HIM OUT. NOW WHAT ABOUT THIS WHOLE MESS? *rubs his shoulder*

DAVE: -his expression softens- what

DAVE: are you calling me a mess

KARKAT: WELL IT'S NOT INACCURATE BUT I MEAN THE CHANCES OF MORE VIOLENT ATTACKS LIKE THIS.

DAVE: its hard to like come up with shit while dirk is feelin the way he is

DAVE: the last thing i want to do is let somebody hurt him

DAVE: if they disagree or whatever

DAVE: what rufioh did it was just so

DAVE: god i never saw it coming?

KARKAT: HE'S FROM BEFORUS MAN, HE PROBABLY FEELS LIKE HIS PLANET, HIS FRIENDS THERE, WOULD STILL BE ALIVE IF NOT FOR CHOICES SHE MADE.

KARKAT: YOU HAVE TO THINK OF WHAT SHE ALSO REPRESENTS TO THE BEFORANS WE HAVE HERE.

DAVE: yeah i get that but like

DAVE: it was my uncle who got stabbed

DAVE: i guess theyre dating?

DAVE: my uncle and the empress

KARKAT: MAYBE? HONESTLY I DON'T FUCKING DOUBT IT BUT IF HE'S OUT TO PROTECT HER TAKING A STAB SEEMS LIKE THE THING THAT WOULD HAPPEN.

DAVE: ok but when i watched it happen

DAVE: rufioh went straight to him

DAVE: and intentionally stabbed him

DAVE: you know

KARKAT: YEAH, I WASN'T THERE. DID SOMETHING HAPPEN BETWEEN THEM?

DAVE: he mentioned that he brought her here

DAVE: took responsibility

KARKAT: WELL SHIT. THERE'S THAT. AND I'M GUESSING THEY GOT INTO IT THEN?

KARKAT: NOT THAT I'M TRYING TO JUSTIFY HOW HE GOT HURT I'M JUST TRYING TO MAKE SENSE OF THE SITUATION.

DAVE: no they didnt

DAVE: there was no fight involved

DAVE: seriously rufioh just disappearead and reappeared in front of him and stabbed him

KARKAT: ....UGH. REALLY?

DAVE: really

DAVE: then i disarmed him and arrested him and detained him

KARKAT: IT'S MORE OF THAT POWER BULLSHIT, I FEEL IT. I CAN FUCKING FEEL IT. AS IF ASSHOLES WEREN'T DANGEROUS ENOUGH.

DAVE: i dunno man

DAVE: it feels like shits goin down larger than we expected

DAVE: internal threats

DAVE: now its not the outside im worried about at all

DAVE: its the people we sleep next to

KARKAT: SO WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO ABOUT THAT?

DAVE: fuck

DAVE: i cant just go accusin people without evidence

KARKAT: WELL NO SHIT, BUT THERE'S OTHER THINGS WE CAN DO MAN.

DAVE: like what

DAVE: -looks at him like karkat please help me-

KARKAT: *Sympathetic look* WELL, YOU CAN CALL IN THE SECURITY TEAM AND HAVE A BRIEF MEETING ABOUT IT.

KARKAT: THEY PROBABLY HAVE MIXED FEELINGS WITH THE BEFORAN EMPRESS ON BOARD.

KARKAT: TELL THEM THATWE JUST NEED TO TRUST THE CAPTAIN AND KEEP THE PEACE.

DAVE: yeah -nods-

KARKAT: WE DON'T DO ANYONE BUT THE ENEMY FAVORS IN FIGHTING EACH OTHER.

DAVE: hopefully everyones compliant

DAVE: -nods. karkat is such a wise-

KARKAT: I'M SURE THEY WILL BE, AND THEY CAN PASS THAT ONTO THEIR FRIENDS THAT AREN'T IN SECURITY.

KARKAT: ALSO TO TROUBLEMAKERS THEY STOP. YOU GOT THIS MAN.

KARKAT: *shoulder pats*

DAVE: thanks

DAVE: sometimes i wonder if you should still be here

DAVE: like in this spot

KARKAT: REALLY? I MEAN, IT'S UNDERSTANDABLE WITH ALL THE STRESS BUT DO YOU LIKE THE JOB?

DAVE: -nods- yeah its

DAVE: more than id ever thought id have

KARKAT: AND YOU'RE DOING A GOOD JOB.

DAVE: do you think so or are you just saying that

KARKAT: DAVE.

KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK.

DAVE: well i mean you might feel obligated

KARKAT: NO, IF YOU WERE DOING A SHITTY JOB I WOULD TELL YOU BECAUSE YOUR DECISIONS EFFECT OTHER PEOPLE AND IT DOES YOU NO GOOD TO LIE TO YOU.

KARKAT: YOU'RE REALLY, GENUINELY DOING A GOOD JOB MAN.

DAVE: -nods, trying to accept it- thanks

KARKAT: *caresses his cheek* YOU'RE NOT GIVING YOURSELF ANY CREDIT SO I HAVE TO.

DAVE: -can't help but lean his cheek into his hand. closes his eyes behind his shades- right

DAVE: workin on that

KARKAT: AT LEAST IT'S A WORK IN PROGRESS RIGHT?

DAVE: -nods again and just...leans his head against him-

KARKAT: *hugs him close and firmly, maybe more firmly than he used to because he's been learning how to control himself* COME TAKE A PROPER BREAK.

DAVE: ok -if anyone's gonna convince him, it's karkat-

KARKAT: GOOD. *kisses his forehead and stands back* ALRIGHT, UP YOU GO.

DAVE: -he stands, maybe reaching for his hand with an expression like he isn't doing anything. that's just how it is today- where are we going

KARKAT: *takes that hand and holds it, pulling him.* I DON'T KNOW. DIRK TOLD ME TO MAKE USE OF THE VR ROOM. WE CAN DO SOMETHING THERE TO SEPARATE FROM ALL THIS SHIT.

DAVE: -lets himself be pulled- works for me

DAVE: lets do somethin ridiculous

KARKAT: IF YOU WANT RIDICULOUS I SHOULD SHOW YOU MY LUSUS. *walks on out of there*

DAVE: is that possible to see in the vr room

KARKAT: I ACTUALLY DON'T KNOW, MAYBE. I'M STILL TOYING AROUND WITH IT.

DAVE: i guess were gonna find out

KARKAT: *Guides Dave to the VR room in hopes to improve his mood at least a little*

DAVE: -what a great momo-

#technologicgodot #logs #in which its a me comin to rail your ass

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cranktankerousgeneticist-blog · 8 years

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KARKAT: =This is so fucking surreal. Somehow more than where he was. Wherever he was. He doesn't remember all the details and he doesn't think he wants to... there was something almost comforting there but he can't grab it. He doesn't know what to do. But he knows the pain he's caused and he feels like running from it but also that it would make it so much worse. Already Karkat's run into some guards and various others and they give him the reactions he expects. Excitement, tearful reunions, he can't return the feelings and he thinks they could sense that. He just feels. Weird and stands outside Terezi's block for a long moment and eventually lifts his hand and knocks. He feels like he should knock, still wheezing slightly but the baggy shirt he was given covers that=

BREAKFAST: =Inside there's a lift of all three heads, sniffs, silent communicating and they stand. BARK! Runs to the door and scratches at it and gives whines barks and other various soft ruffs while wanting this barrier to be open=

[[There is shuffling inside and Sirius's voice can be heard behind the door: (a visitor)! But it sounds more like "vis-tur." There was a soft (can i get the door) succeeded by the patter patter patter of little feet running with slower footfalls moving casually across the floor as Terezi got up to follow. The door swished open with Sirius still tiptoeing against the wall.]]

SIRIUS: -She stared at him wide eyed with her mouth opening into a large O. Not a second later, she fell into a mixture of excited chitters and blubbers as she scrambled forward and latched herself to his legs, likely bumping into Breakfast in the mad scramble for the two of them to get to Karkat. Even so she makes it and was giving those knees a very tight hug.-

TEREZI: -she was speechless. She had been for a while, yes, but usually in those times, she had a slew of words running in her head, ready to be spoken if she had allowed it. This time she had nothing except for a few key words as the gears in her brain turned slowly. Karkat. Standing. At door. Alive. Karkat. Standing. At door. Alive. Subconciously holding her breath made her feel light headed, and she swayed where she stood. Sirius sure seemed to believe he was real. Breakfast sometimes barked at nothing, but there was always people who said animals have a sixth sense or something.-

TEREZI: -She waited for him to speak. To say anything. Because if this was a dream, at least it could be kind.-

KARKAT: =Sirius' little voice, her speaking tugs at him and of course there's all that barking and whining from Breakfast. He thinks he could tell which head was doing what but there are more pressing things like how they both jump him. How Sirius holds onto him so tight and he can FEEL her touching him and he couldn't feel much of anything back where he was. He feels Breakfast's panting and licks and his body moves on it's own. Putting a hand each on both of them=

KARKAT: =Still he stares. Stares at Terezi. What to even say? He's done so much already. What did she go through? What did she have to tell Sirius and comfort her while grieving herself? His lips felt dry, incredibly dry as he exhales, a soft wheezing noise coming from his shirt=

KARKAT: I'M. I... HI.

TEREZI: -The sound of his voice broke the pain that that she'd built up inside. She hadn't realized how much she'd missed it until those words, which didn't even form a coherant sentence, reached her ears even over the sound of Breakfast's barking.-

TEREZI: -she found her breath again and took in a sharp gasp of air before rushing forward, only stumbling once as she threw her arms around his neck. She held the back of his head with one hand, running her fingers through his hair - now longer than hers, which she found amusing. The movement made his scent drift through the air faster, and she tried to inhale it all at once while her other hand crossed his shoulders and gripped tightly the fabric of his shirt. He was here. He felt real enough. She didn't pass through him like she had in her dreams. He spoke, he was solid, and he was breathing. Albeit a little more wheezily than she would have liked, but she could FEEL the rise and fall of his chest, and that alone was precious.-

SIRIUS: -she leaned in to Karkat's touch, pressing her face into his legs. She missed him. She'd missed him so much. And now he was back and okay and new, like her mama said he would be before she left the ship and before the planet stole her voice.-

KARKAT: =She. He lets his face fall, catch in her shoulder. She was different, only a little, but still the same. He doesn't know what he expected. Or what he wanted. Breakfast was still trying to get their attention in. Sirius Holding fast to his legs. It's a wonder he didn't topple over with all of them. He felt so out of here and yet here he was solid, seeming grounded. Karkat inhaled and exhaled. Another wheeze and more red, or pink actually. Tears he didn't deserve to cry running on her shoulder but he. Missed them. Missed her. All of them. Everything=

TEREZI: -she choked back a sob, and after a few of his tears fell upon her shoulder, she gently pulled back, still holding on to him and feeling the life that ran through him. The last time she held him, he was limp in her arms, his fight gone before he could raise his hands to defend himself. And now that life was back. He was back. Though that wheezing WAS starting to worry her. He hadnt gotten stabbed on the way to her block, had he? It was a mad world out there.-

TEREZI: -she nuzzled her face against his, and she...she almost spoke. But her words had gotten him killed. Her actions had gotten him killed. If she'd given up the stupid idea that taking prisoners was a good idea... if she'd killed Hohepa instead of bringing him back to the ship...fuck... FUCK. When speaking to Tyrena, she'd even said that herself: that they all lived with their choices. And Karkat had to die because of hers. Did he go somewhere or was it nothing? She didn't know what he saw beyond or if he saw anything at all. It wasnt just the reason of it being unknown that Terezi was terrified of the day she'd have to face her own death, but that didn't matter for now. He'd faced his. And he'd come back from it. A motherfucking miracle if she'd ever seen one. He wasn't there anymore; he was HERE. She pressed her lips against his and hugged him tight again, burying the words she wanted to say.-

KARKAT: =Any other time he'd apologize for the gross kiss. Filled with his tears and sniffling and just it felt so odd to be emotionally tired but physically fresh. Karkat did his best to hold them all just letting himself cry on her. His sides still emiting that wheezing down as he sniffled and spilled tears on her. There were so many things to say and he didn't even know where to begin with them. Or if he should. Mostly he wanted to calm down, trying to take smaller breaths and stop his air form leaking out=

TEREZI: -she made shhhhing sounds as she stroked his his hair. Truth be told she never wanted to let go and just live out the rest of her life hugging him in the doorway. But that was a bit unrealistic and she eventually had to release her hold on him. She led him over to the couch, while she went to get him some water or something. Was he hungry too? He must be. Sirius ate almost everything before she spun her coccoon. Then again, she wasn't even sure how adult pupations were supposed to work. There were no known records of it occurring naturally to her knowledge... She moved back to the couch and sat down beside him where Sirius crawled into her lap to hug Karkat at a better level this time. 1 and 2/3 dog and two and a half trolls on one couch. But Terezi couldn't be more comfortable and content. With knuckle, she wiped her own tears from her eyes before handing him the glass and brushing Karkat's tears away with her thumb. Sirius was crying too, but Karkat's shirt was doing most of the work to drying her face.-

KARKAT: =It is best to get out the hall, he thinks anyway. So he sits and he holds Sirius and he lets Breakfast's heads rest against his thigh. He took the water, not really feeling thirsty but it gave him something to do before he spoke. Still trying to calm his tears that only increase as they treat him like this. Karkat drinks the water then lowers the cup, sniffling.= ....I MISSED YOU. KARKAT: ALL OF YOU.

SIRIUS: (i missed you papa) -but she was smiling again, even as she cried. Her tears were slowing and she sniffled as she clung to him- (did you hear me sing)

SIRIUS: (i sang to you when you sleeped)

TEREZI: -she wanted to reply, and it hurt her not to, so to avoid answering, she looped her arms around one of his and pressed her face into his shoulder. Her lips mouthed the words anyway.-

KARKAT: =THey're making it hard to calm down but he nods, tears shaking loose and falling with the jerky movements= I'M SO GLAD YOU SANG. HH, TO ME. =Terezi hasn't really said a thing yet and he can't really blame her oor not doing so so he only leans his head against her. Breathing her in=

SIRIUS: (youre welcome) -BEAMS A SMILE- (mama sang like this) -hums an example-

TEREZI: -she gave an soft, airy laugh to both sirius's comments and karkat's reply. Though neither were funny, it was a laugh made from being so gosh darned joyous that they were ALL together again, whole again. That this was how it was supposed to be. Even with the running. And the war. And being criminals. At least they had been together. And now they were once again.-

TEREZI: -She was angry before that Kanaya and Aradia got a second chance when her friends at the league stayed dead. Even though it still pained her to think about them, it was a dull pain now. Karkat's second chance had come, and she would never complain over who got to live and who stayed dead ever again.- TEREZI: -hugs his arm a little tighter. She's here. She's not going anywhere.-

KARKAT: =He doesn't want to think much about what he can remember from that place. Being here, with them. That's all he wants and it's all he can handle just about now. And even though he was already practically moved in he speaks again= CAN WE. MAKE YOUR BLOCK OUR PERMANENT ONE? =He just wants this. To make it official even though it was already a thing. He doesn't want to be alone much right now and he doubted Terezi would have a problem with his moving in for good=

TEREZI: -she trembled against his arm and her shoulders shook as she turned her head up to look at him. Pale teal stood in contrast against the red of her eyes, but she was smiling. And soon the smile stretched into a grin where it was followed by a relieved and happy laughter that dared to echo in the - no, in THEIR - block. She held his face and kissed him, from his lips, to his cheeks, to his forehead, to his nose, peppering him with yes's.-

SIRIUS: -welp she was gonna ask if that was okay with mama, but her reaction was as good a confirmation as any.-

KARKAT: =Karkat took that as an affirmation. Closing his eyes and holding them tightly as Terezi peppered him with kisses= THANKS.

KARKAT: I'LL MOVE THINGS. LATER. OKAY?

TEREZI: -she kissed him a few more times before nodding her head and making a "mhmm" sound. She'd help him. She'd help him for sure. Terezi stroked his face as she took in his scent, closing her eyes and breathing in and out in deep, level breaths. He was warm again. No blood. No smell of death. He came back, and he came back to them, despite all the odds that had been stacked against him.-

KARKAT: =He was happy to see her and he wanted to be here but. He doesn't feel like everything is right. Karkat pulls back and looks at her, she hasn't said a word to him. Maybe she doesn't know what to say. Karkat searches her eyes and takes a moment= HEY...

TEREZI: -She smiled at him as he looked at her. Really smiled. It came easy now, and she waited for him to speak, eyes brighter, face lighter-

KARKAT: YOU HAVENT REALLY--- ARE YOU OKAY? =He missed her voice, she hasn't said anything. Just made sounds=

TEREZI: -she nodded, trying to make it look as sincere as she could. It...felt better this way, somehow. Just letting things be, not having to fight back. She didn't have to comment on every single thing someone ever said, and listening? well, she felt listening instead was doing her some good.-

KARKAT: =Frowns= IT DOESN'T FEEL RIGHT. YOU HAVEN'T SPOKEN YOU SEEM I MEAN. I DON'T EXPECT ME TO SHOW UP AND EVERYTHING.. TO BE FIXED AND PERFECT. BUT YOU'RE JUST DIFFERENT RIGHT NOW.

TEREZI: -her eyes flickered from his face to his hands. She knows. She was a little sadder now, a little less forgiving, a little more aware of...fucking everything. But she also knew that the one aspect of her heart that didn't change was her love for those close to her. Her love for him. She wanted to answer him, she did. But she was also scared. She drew in a small breath like she was going to say something, but she decided against it. It wasn't because she didn't WANT to. Because she did. Holding back like this was actually painful, but it was also for the best.-

TEREZI: -She took one of Karkat's hands in hers and squeezed it tightly before running the pads over her fingers over the back of his hand, his palm, his knuckles. All new skin. No callouses, no scarring, no sign of the wear and tear of fights and age. It was unfamiliar. But she knew this was... She swallowed. This was an opportunity to learn HIM all over again. Map everything out. Be with him and feel the new callouses and new scars come forth. Be with him and have their skin age together. Together, like they'd promised.-

KARKAT: =Her continued silence did nothing to bury his suspicions. Her hands running over his own. How did they feel he wondered? Aside from soft. All new skin, a new body, a new part of his body. He was different too. What could she even say. He sighed squeezing her hand= I, YEAH. IT'S A LOT. I KNOW. KARKAT: ARE YOU... SURE YOU'RE OKAY?

TEREZI: -the moment he said "a lot" she looked back up at him and shook her head quickly from side to side. She hoped he would take it how she meant it: no, this wasnt anything they couldnt handle together. They'd done this before, sort of, a long time ago and back on a planet that no longer wanted them.-

TEREZI: -she found his other hand and squeezed them both tightly, reassuringly. She smiled, and she felt it come easily, so she kept going until the happiness reached her eyes. She didn't care that her fingers no longer recognized him. Because her ears did. Her nose did. And hell, if it wasn't an inappropriate moment to lick his face, her tongue probably would too. She dropped his hands and moved them to his cheeks, rubbing the skin gently with her thumbs. They dropped again and squeezed his shoulders, moved down his arms, and hugged him tight.-

KARKAT: =That was a correction if he ever felt one so he just leaned into her touches and watched as she let that smile take over her face= ALRIGHT... THEN I GUESS. I'LL BE HERE. IF YOU NEED ANYTHING, EVER. OR SOMETHING...

TEREZI: -shit, she's feeling the prickly sensation in her eyes again and she sniffs, shaking her head again but slower this time and patted his chest. He had been there for her so many times. It was time she was there for him. EVEN IF HE NEEDED A BOTTLED WATER FROM HER THEIR MINI FRIDGE.-

TEREZI: -....-

TEREZI: -his short sentences cut by that breathing was REALLY starting to worry her by now and she frowned a little, quirking a brow-

KARKAT: =No? He didn't know what that meant but she patted his chest, still not speaking though then her eyebrow raises, he's still wheezing from uncontrolled gill slits and frowns back at her= COULD YOU AT LEAST TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON?

SIRIUS: -trying to be helpful- (mama wont talk to nobody)

SIRIUS: (but she can still hear you) -pat pat-

TEREZI: -She really really considered answering him, she did. But the reason for her silence wasn't because he was gone. Now that he was back, what if it happened again? What if she suggested something or did something and the events led him to close his eyes forever this time? Or they decided to coon him again and he-- No. Don't even think that.-

TEREZI: -Trying to figure out how to tell him this was gonna last she didn't even know how long, she...got distracted by the wheezing again. Her eyes began to angle down to his chest area...because it might sound CRAZY and her ears might be off, but she was now starting to doubt that the wheezing was coming from his mouth.-

KARKAT: =The frown pulls at his expression more, eyebrows furrowing in worry= SHE'S NOT?.... HAS SHE? TEREZI HAVE YOU TALKED TO... ANYONE? ABOUT ALL THIS?

TEREZI: -she tilted a back and forth motion with her hand then motioned writing before her hand just...kinda wilted.-

KARKAT: =So writing but no talking....= WHY?

TEREZI: -well, she hadn't been writing either since someone pointed out that was basically the same thing as talking. And she hadn't been around on pesterchum much either.-

TEREZI: -she doesn't know how to explain this, both in her new way of trying to communicate and also...even if she was speaking how could she tell him? Her reasoning seemed ridiculous, even to her. But she was still terrified of that 'what if?' She didn't want to be the reason someone close to her died ever again. She wouldn't be the reason.-

TEREZI: -Terezi could only blink at him, her lips parting just a fraction before they closed again. She squeezed his hand-

KARKAT: ....=He watched her while she thought. While she sat through that and considered things he wouldn't know. Her squeeze was supposed to be reassuring but his frown didn't fade= ...WE'LL... FIGURE IT OUT.

TEREZI: -she gently lifted his hand to kiss it, then she bent her neck forward and pressed her forehead against his shoulder. He didn't have to accept it, to leave it as it was, even as she could see this hurt him. He could have pressed her for an explanation, but the fact that he gave her this small option, she was grateful for it. For him.-

KARKAT: =He wouldn't fight it now, not here when they were all freshly reunited. Karkat holds Terezi close and loops Sirius in for the hug. Breakfast still panting and leaning against his shoulder. He had them and they had him and that's all. ..that mattered=

TEREZI: -While one hand slowly pet Sirius's head, her other arm held Karkat tightly as though it would be hard to convince her to let him go from here on out. Karkat's own arm around her shoulders made her sigh and sink into him as she rubbed his back, feeling the warmth of his flesh seep through the cloth of his shirt. If her arm had been long enough, it would have been looped around all of Breakfast's heads too.-

TEREZI: -She tried once more to listen to his breathing. It was soft before. And gentle. But now it seemed labored and the longer it lasted, the more scared she got. She pressed an ear to his chest, to make doubly sure...-

KARKAT: =She can hear it much better, the hissing of air from his sides. Going anytime hes not immediately drawing a breath=

TEREZI: -she pulled back again, looking really WORRIED now. She glanced up at him, and without moving her head, she flicked her eyes back down at his chest again. Her expression is nothing short of, "wtf is up?"-

TEREZI: -She cautiously tried to lift his shirt. What if he'd bruised himself falling out of the cocoon? Surely the doctors would have looked at him before he left the infirmary...-

TEREZI: -Her first thought was a collapsed lung. But that sounded completely different to whatever this was.-

KARKAT: =rigghhht, there was that. Karkat took in her worried expresssion and how she was lifting his shirt. One of his hands touching hers that tried lifting his shirt= UH. SO. I'VE CHANGED. IN THE COON I MEAN.

TEREZI: -Her worried expression softened a tiny bit. Well, if there was nothing medically wrong with him, she was happy. Terezi tried to remember if Redglare or Aradia's wings sounded like that and she came up with nothing. Wings didn't make much noise other than when they were fluttered. So were his wings mouthbreathers?! Where were they anyway?-

KARKAT: =There were no wings but he moves his hands and lets her lift his shirt. Along his sides are gillslits. Ones that are softly blowing out air=

TEREZI: -It takes her a moment to believe her own nose as she slowly realized what they were, and when she does, she becomes stock still. Her arms locked, his shirt still lifted, her eyes incrementally growing rounder. Well. Those certainly aren't wings.-

KARKAT: =He feels... weird. Just having her take it all in, it's very clear to catch when she figures out what he's trying to show her. As much as he wants to hide it, pull his shirt down he. Trusts her. Even if this is something he doesn't want to look at himself he just lets Terezi get her fill, she deserves it=

TEREZI: -still holding his shirt up with one hand, she reached forward with the other and carefully ran the pad of her finger a couple inches under the slits in his side.-

KARKAT: =He physically flinches, not really have explore much of them himself but she can feel the air coming from them as he wheezes softly=

TEREZI: -She pulled away immediately, a small noise coming from her throat. She'd hurt him. She let go of his shirt and buried both hands into her lap, curling her fingers in so that her claws wouldn't hurt him again.-

SIRIUS: (theyre like fishs breath things mama)

TEREZI: -Sirius's voice seemed distant, and her body swayed against the gravity that held her down to the couch. Karkat was no different than he was before. This changed nothing. She just...had to be a little more careful now, that's all. They would figure this out together, no matter now long it took.-

KARKAT: =He doesn't know what to do or say to her. Just frowning, his hand on Sirius' back. Humming as she speaks then muttering= YEAH. THEY'RE CALLED GILLS SIRI. =His hand straightened his shirt, pulling it down the rest of the way and straightening it out=

SIRIUS: (oh)

SIRIUS: (gills) -she repeated proudly-

TEREZI: -her hands wrung over themselves. She didn't know how to approach this. She knew fuckall about gills other than one instance when she was still with the League that sticking one's hand in them was a surefire way for a seadweller to do one's bidding just as much as chucklevoodoos could.-

TEREZI: -Even with Karkat's shirt covering them, she still couldn't help but keep her eyes locked there until a mantra formed in her head: "Stop staring stop staring stop staring stop staring." When she finally looked back up at him, she'd let go of her rigidness. Pressing a kiss to her fingers, she gingerly moved the hand to hold his side while cupping the back of his neck with her other. She pressed a kiss firmly into his cheek and hugged him again: delicately, deliberately, fiercely.-

TEREZI: -No matter how much he'd changed physically, she never stopped loving him. Sure, gills were a surprise, but they were no more shocking than the wings had been when the others had gotten them.-

TEREZI: -okay, maybe a little more. But only due to the factor that it was unexpected!-

KARKAT: =He doesn't feel any better for dumping all this on her, there was no way to postpone it, she'd no doubt feel worse if he took his time coming to her. But then what was worse. Not coming to her immediately so she could see him ot coming to her while she was mourning him. He was here but the feelings were too, the pain was still there. It hurt her, it had hurt her so badly and it was hard to see just how much, she was entitled to that pain but it didn't make it any harder to fight off his own tears that were selfish in their own right. Karkat's jaw clenches but she touches his side and kisses his cheek and just holds him and he can't help but to choke out a sob and hold her back. Trying to forget the residual alrightness that he had when he thought of the afterlife because that was gone now and he wasn't there and he should be happy to have this second chance=

TEREZI: -He was alive now. She had to remember that. In the lonely days that followed, she spent a good deal of her time reliving flashbacks of the last day she could see. One of her team cradled his moirail as he died. She remembered how limp he was after the fight left him. She remembered how much lighter he seemed as the one left behind hunched over him and sobbed. Despite herself she had been relieved she didn't have to feel death in another; watching it hurt bad enough. She never thought she'd one day kneel over Karkat in the same way, but now that she had it was something she knew would sit with her for a very long time.-

TEREZI: -Whatever death had done to him, it hurt him. She knew because he didn't say, and for what reason would he omit it if it hadn't hurt him in some way? One's own experience of dying was a pain she didn't understand, a pain she didn't blame him for, and a pain she hoped she'd never have to feel. Not for a long time anyway. Just...fuck TUMUT. Fuck the Condesce. Fuck the creature that blew up a planet. Fuck fate. Fuck the universe. What did the world ever do for her besides take her body and rip it apart over and over again? And when it got tired of her, it went after those she loved. Why should there be mercy in this world when the innocents got none? And the people who deserved to face the full consequences, people like her, escaped unscathed with their health, their freedom, and their life. Sometimes all three.-

TEREZI: -she sniffled as he cried, her own tears flooding her eyes once again. She didn't know how to help him. She didn't know how to undo what had been done to him emotionally. She didn't know how to heal this...-

SIRIUS: -pats both of her lusii's arms-

SIRIUS: (crying is good)

SIRIUS: (you pee less)

#gulesCamisade #OLD LOG #in which im back and worse than ever and oh so are you mmmmmm

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