crazyllamalove - Tumblr blog

[crazyllamalove]

[crazyllamalove]

"Be the energy that you want to attract"

[crazyllamalove]

[crazyllamalove]

"How many scars did you justify because you loved the person who was holding the knife?"

[crazyllamalove]

Why did he?

[crazyllamalove]

"Hybrid sun

Indica moon

Sativa rising"

[crazyllamalove]

Evenings I spend with you are the best i’ve ever had.

Even when we don't talk.

Even when you play your stupid games and not pay attention to what I am saying.

Even if my head hurts and im tired.

I dear to say, even laying on my deathbed wouldn't be that bad if I had you by my side, holding my hand.

~ER.

[crazyllamalove]

[crazyllamalove]

“Sometimes, all you can do is lie in bed, and hope to fall asleep before you fall apart.”

— William C. Hannan

[crazyllamalove]

"A Shirt Made of Fire", Vardges Petrosyan (translated by metamorphesque)

[crazyllamalove]

Nicole W. Lee, from "Even the Dust"

[crazyllamalove]

I will always love every side of you

Even the side of you no one else will know

[crazyllamalove]

Your struggles are valid even if they’re not noticeable to others. You shouldn’t have to break down to be taken seriously.

[crazyllamalove]

I see the darkest parts of you as a garden full of flowers.

I see a beautiful set of wild flowers.

I want to nourish your garden, give you everything you could possibly need.

See the flowers grow,

Always spring

In the darkest parts of you

[crazyllamalove]

i don’t make the rules, my brain does and unfortunately that bitch is chemically imbalanced

[crazyllamalove]

Proof

Here’s our story:

A story I don’t always know to be

About us

A story I think that might be mine only,

A story you’d never claim.

When we met I saw you as nothing

But I considered you,

Like a new theory,

Like a strange concept.

But it was stupid,

It always was,

Always would be.

And still I tried.

And still I approached you—

And passed, too,

For that girl was prettier,

Like the flowers

I would photograph

As I knew you were talking.

Between the summer heat,

The vibrant flowers,

The buzzing bees,

The lonely breeze,

I thought I’d be alone again.

But night brings something new,

Something so wrong for me,

Something I had prayed for,

And prayed against.

Day arrives and you’re still there,

Day arrives and I consider not just you

I consider this life,

I consider a new happiness.

It doesn’t feel so conspiratorial anymore,

This is not theory,

I might just find proof.

Soon I think I know you.

Scarier still,

I think you know me,

And I let you.

It’s different.

The concept of you

Is so far from what I had

Most don’t leap before stepping, but I dared to,

Like I am on the moon,

But I am just in the pool.

Then — there!

Fireworks!

Sparks!

Electricity!

It’s real!

It surprises me, first.

Then a cold emptiness,

Because you’ve left.

There’s something I have from then,

I still have it.

And I suppose it’s on paper

I keep my hope.

They’re my records.

This is a record, too.

A closeness

Physical, and unphysical

I was hanging on to my proof

I just needed more evidence —

But you,

With the last pieces,

Eluded me.

When you were finally gone,

I knew it.

“I’m so stupid,

I’m so stupid”

No theory like you

Should be considered.

But I couldn’t stop

Trying to prove you,

Not when I’d put so much time

Behind my solution.

And I grew more attached still.

And this, too, is a story that’s not over.

There’s an unsent message,

Somewhere,

Waiting for me to pick up my proof.

Unanswered questions sit in my inbox,

In yours, too.

I’m sending you the final proof

In a couple months.

Or maybe I won’t.

Maybe I’ll finally admit my stupidity.

Maybe I’ll give up.

But I’m sure you’ll get my proof someday.