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"After this, it's over" And just like that, time froze in the wrong moment, what about the plans I made for you and I? What about that letter I was suppossed to write to you? What about everything we were meant to be? I just needed time, time! Time to get over myself, time to talk to you, time to watch all those movies you always talk about, time, please, time if you may have any mercy on a poor sinner's soul, slow down, let me catch up to you, give me more seconds and take away all those nights I spent mourning something that never existed, time, you surely are the meanest of bullys, the baddest around and the one who I will never catch. Destiny was cruel to us this in this timeline, but one thing I know, if it was meant to be, it will be in a different time

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Folds of pink linen

making a lover's body

with a fabric heart.

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sometimes I would like you to read my mind

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Gateway

Minolta MD Zoom 28-85mm f/3.5-4.5 lens on Sony A7.

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Full Moons 2023

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There was a song that went like; "I wanna scream, and shout, and let it all out". It used to be really popular, and I thought of it as just a regular party song, but it started feeling real when I arrived at a certain age. When all the lyrics started making sense in a way only people could understand.

"I wanna scream" my lungs and my guts and my whole body when I fell you drifting away into the thought of forgetting, forquetting your voice, forgetting your name, forgetting how your lips pronounced mine, forgetting, just forgetting, letting go of things I don't want to let go of, I scream that I do not ever want to let go of the pain and the sufferment, the happiness and joy, I want to scream, until my throat is sour, until my eyes are wattering and until brain isn't busy anymore.

"And shout" Screaming is not the same as shouting, shouting is out of rage, something I also feel, but what do I even feel anymore? I don't want to hear my thoughts, neither I want to feel this feelings full of nothing and everything at the same time, all so human, yet so alienating, so full, yet so empty, it's not a scream full of emotion, but a shout meant to silence my dying heart.

"And let it all out" and just like that, like a click, like a boom, I want it all out, I want the wind to take this sorrow for me, I want the earth to take my tears and make a beautiful tall pine full of life and everything that keeps us above and not beyond, take this from me, and suffer this for me.

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Adolescence: Recognazible by humor peaks, strong emotions, irratability, genuine happiness, fear of the future, radical or no opinions, last bits of childhood.

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I like stars not because they are small and shiny, I like that they are balls full of fire and gas and caos that are meant to explore and maybe turn into a whole that sucks everything in and become one of the many wonders of the universe

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“Trying to define yourself is like trying to bite your own teeth.”

— Alan Watts

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this is such a vibe

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Another drip drop collage

Straight out of Orange County

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“Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and also more hard to bear. The frequent attempt to conceal mental pain increases the burden: it is easier to say “My tooth is aching” than to say “My heart is broken.”

— C.S. Lewis

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Magical stained glass

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Don't ever be scared on betting for your happiness; most of us have these friends you've been friends with since forever, or these group of friends we are friends because you don't want to be alone in school or at work , or whatever, or even these group of friends that you (person reading this) have that feel like you are only friends with just because you want to feel like you fit in somewhere. If you feel wrong or feel like you are just not friends with those people anymore, leave. That will be the smartest decision for you and for those people too, but specially, do it for you. We always feel like if you don't have a friend group, or someone to be with, or someone to talk to, we have failed, or think that people will think as you of some sort of weird alien, but on the long run, let me tell you, you will thank yourself you choose your mental health over some people.