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something about pictures on film of him holding his birthday cake and polaroids of us drunk on half price vodka in the back of my phone case and her t shirt that was still in my closet after we all left and the memories that will be speckled with gold dust for the rest of my life
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we are humble and meaningless!! and thats ok. maybe even good
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cooking with family, sharing recipes, teaching each other, asking someone to taste to see what’s missing, burning things because you forgot, learning from mistakes, cutting fruit for someone you love
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im going to come out and say it: isolating is a self-destructive behavior. it might not be as obvious and immediately self-destructive as say, impulsive spending, drug use or risky behaviors, but it gradually decays relationships and can deepen your mental health issues. often, our impulse is to retreat from others and responsibilities for “self care” or to “work on ourselves” and obviously sometimes we need mental health breaks, but there’s a line you cross from “taking a break” to full on neglecting your relationships with others and your social needs that can be incredibly damaging to yourself and others over time
#reading this and agreeing like i didn't decline to get pizza with my flatmates tonight#and decide not to hang out with my friends#and i can still hear them laughing next door#but my BRAIN my stupid brain will not let me leave this bed#without my heart literally pounding#stupid stupid waste of a day
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can someone pls tell me everything is gonna be ok
#:((#havent felt this anxious in a LONG time#guess whose gonna have to make an appointment with their gp#diary
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i am literally SO annoying as a writer. why’s it so pretentious. why do u randomly have to mention your childhood for absolutely no god damn reason. why does everything i write accidentally become about the same thing because of my unresolved mental health issues huh. why so many cringey metaphors. why the first time i wrote this post did i say “why do u mention your childhood like its the ever present backdrop on the stage of your story”.
#english majors rise up#me when writings the only thing ive ever been passionate about so i HAVE to make a career out of it to hope to be happy except it turns out#i hate my own writing#diary
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on god i hate online uni i really do
my tutor just emailed me about my lack of attendance in zoom seminars

#she seems like a really nice woman#but its just#how do i explain to her in an email that the reason i haven't been going#is because i waited too long and now i have a block about it#because i know that doesn't make any fucking sense but its the cards god dealt me#for whatever reason#diary
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my tutor just emailed me about my lack of attendance in zoom seminars

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A heart shaped friend 🐮 she is picking flowers for her mums flower shop!! (i will be posting more about her and her family!)
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being a girl is just: *buys non-dairy milk* *puts blusher on nose* *drinks iced oat milk latte* *does online uni work in bed* *wears big t shirt around the house* *lights scented candle* *buys heart shaped things* *moisturises* *eats a mango* *is ethereal*
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why do americans think the jonas brothers wrote year 3000
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