creativerevive

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spring

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everytime I hear about children of the corn I think about the guy I met at comic con who actually lived in the town they filmed that movie at, and on the farm where they filmed in the corn. he was a teenager at the time and him and his friends would get drunk on moonshine and rustle the corn and let the air out of the tires of the production team’s trailers and shit. and now there’s Wikipedia pages about how the children of the corn set was haunted and they thought they angered god but it was really just drunk hillbillies

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the 6th love language is fighting monsters together

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Bruce Wayne: *in the checkout line because Alfred forced him to go to the store to be seen in public for once and has literally only grabbed a bag of shredded cheese and a juice*

Cashier: Next please, hello Bruce how are you today?

Bruce: *staring intently at a pack of gum to avoid eye contact while he puts his items on the counter* im fantastic thanks

Cashier: That’ll be 6.84. Got yourself a snack, honey?

Bruce: *vibrating as he hands her 7 ones* yes here you go

Cashier: *hands him change*

Bruce: *drops the change on the counter, is visibly mortified and about to astral project*

Cashier: Oh sorry, my fault!

Bruce: *moments from collapse* noitwasminekeepthechange *speed walks out of the store gripping the bag of cheese so hard it almost pops*

-

Alfred: *returns home to see Bruce in the fetal position on the couch with an empty bag of shredded cheese* “And how was the trip to the store, Master Bruce?”

Bruce: dontlookatme

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Dave Rapoza

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tired: mermaids are all women

wired: much like elves, merfolk are mistaken by sailors for being all women because they have long hair and are very pretty

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2022 is the year of ''are there any Dragon Age 4 news yet???''

( first silly little comic of the year, woooo~ )

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*at some kind of fancy event*

Shazam: *about to go in on the free wine*

Batman: *taking the glass out of his hand* No.

Shazam: aw

Rest of the Justice League: ???

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I have to say I really appreciate how Into the Spider-Verse makes no effort whatsoever to give Dr. Octavius any kind of pathos. Superhero media so often goes out of its way to establish that the main villain’s female sidekick – should one be present – has Suffered Terribly and how it’s totally Not Her Fault that she’s ended up the way she is, or at least give her a humanising moment of empathy with the protagonist, but nope. She’s just a big amoral jerk and no one likes her.

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it's the A-Ling and Baba show!! from this adorable clip of Justin McElroy and his daughter, as part of @guqin-and-flute's MBMSAM AU

A-LING'S GONNA PUNCH THE MOON!!

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i love that missing one post on here makes this entire website incomprehensible. my friend never saw the og blorbo post and didn't understand the blorbo meme for like a month. i didn't see the ps5 guy tiktok and had no fucking clue what was going on for a week. if you happened to miss the post about the star wars slug you're probably curled up in a ball sobbing right now

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* “Brucie” Wayne being blindfolded at yet another Gotham charity gala heist *

Brucie: Ooh, did you set up a piñata?

Gotham Henchman: Nope.

Brucie: Blindfold Challenge for the Gotham guide dogs foundation?

Gotham Henchman: Nope.

Brucie (deadpan): … Am I being executed?

Main Villain (trying not to laugh): Oh my god, just let him go!

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If Batman and Spider-Man switched rogues galleries none of their villains would last more than ten minutes against the new enemy

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I feel like people don't talk enough about how insane the ending of Kung Fu Panda is.

There's an almost-universal truism in kids' movies that the hero can't kill anyone. Not even the Big Bad, no matter how warranted it is in the moment or how much the audience wants it. You simply can't do that. Heroes don't kill.

There are exceptions, but this truism is especially universal in the studio that's practically synonymous with kids' films: Disney.

That's why so many Disney villains end up accidentally killing themselves. Usually by falling off of something:

I can only think of four heroes in the entire Disney catalog that deliberately, intentionally choose to kill a sapient, intelligent villain, and all of them were self-defensive and in the heat of the moment, where sparing the villain wasn't an option:

(Note: I have seen most Disney movies, but not all of them)

....and then Dreamworks came along, said "fuck that," and had their goofy, lovable Jack Black character ice a motherfucker just 'cause.

Po has already completely won the fight. The day has been saved. He has Tai Lung at his mercy. Tai Lung is terrified:

And Po's not even reluctant about it. There's no burden of responsibility. He doesn't even give his thoroughly beaten opponent a chance to surrender or be banished or something. They didn't just have Po kill, they had him enjoy it because his method of murder is so wicked cool.

Po is a hero in a kids' movie who not only kills his villain, but fucking executes him. All with that signature Dreamworks smirk on his face:

I have gazed into the abyss, and the abyss said "skadoosh."

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I think the most damage this site has done to me is making me think "It's fucken wimdy" when it is, in fact, fucken wimdy outside.

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i have this unnerving fear that i’m gonna meet keanu reeves in some tight elevator and his eyes are going to burn into my soul as he tells me the secrets of this universe then bites me on the neck to give me immortality so he’s not alone anymore