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Why Dr. Raynor is a Shitty Therapist

OK, so nobody asked for this but I haven’t seen any posts about it (and when I have they’re like “yes!! normalize therapy!!”) and as someone who has been in therapy and has studied therapy (at a basic level), I needed to bring up how TERRIBLE of a therapist Raynor seems to be from her interactions with Bucky. (Please note I’m not an expert.)

Let’s assume for a second that Raynor is attempting to implement a cross between person-centered therapy and cognitive-behavioural therapy. One of the most important components of most therapies is the therapeutic alliance, which is the relationship between the therapist and client. In person-centered therapy, this is key, and one of the major goals of therapy is to create a safe emotional climate. This consists of 3 conditions:

- Genuine acceptance: A therapist should be honest and spontaneous, not phoney or defensive. - Unconditional Positive Regard: A therapist should show complete non-judgmental acceptance of the client as a person. - Empathy: Therapists must provide accurate empathy for the person.

I don’t know if you’ve picked up on this, but Raynor has kind of - how do I put this? - failed on all three cornerstones of person-centered therapy.

She exhibits a lack of unconditional positive regard and lack of empathy: Raynor constantly seems to be putting Bucky down, whether is be in her choice of words or tone of voice. In the very first scene we see with her, she’s extremely sarcastic, telling him things like “We’ve been doing this long enough that I can tell when you’re lying” and “the government needs to know that you’re not going to…” and (imitates a hitting motion). When Bucky doesn’t speak about his nightmares, she semi-threatens him by starting to write in her notebook - Bucky isn’t empathetically prompted to speak, he feels forced into opening up for fear of being written up as less sane than he is. When Bucky hands over his phone, she berates him for not having “ten phone numbers on this thing.” This absolutely disregards the need to create an empathetic space in the therapeutic relationship and alienates Bucky further during the session, making him defensive. And the kicker:

“I’m the only person you’ve called all week. That is so sad.”

If your therapist ever says anything along the lines of this to you, I’d advise you to walk out. Though Raynor understands Bucky’s past and current predicament, not once in the series so far do we see her display genuine empathy or create a safe space for Bucky to heal from his trauma. Instead, she creates a hostile, judgmental environment.

Things don’t improve in the Sam-Bucky session either: She doesn’t debrief them on why she’s implementing the couple’s therapeutic techniques and fails to explain why and how it would be helpful. She even says “How old are you?” When witnessing their staring contest, effectively failing to maintain a professional therapeutic environment.

This is just a ramble off the top of my head, but god, Raynor sucks. She fails in most aspects of creating a safe space/therapeutic alliance and I wouldn’t be surprised if she has unresolved issues of her own that prevent her from being an effective therapist to Bucky. All of this is to say that IF YOUR THERAPIST ACTS ANYTHING LIKE DR. RAYNOR, they’re probably not effective !!

For all we hate John Walker for, taking Bucky out of Dr. Raynor’s care may have been for the best. (As long as he end up in better therapy).

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In The Last Olympian, when Hestia tells Percy that he has to understand Luke’s family to understand Luke, I don’t think she was talking about Luke’s mom. The way May Castellan was, it had a hand in making Luke the man he was, but the whole oracle/curse thing gives more characterization for Hermes and for Hades than it does for Luke, and it’s not anything that helps defeat Kronos. Luke’s family Hestia’s referring to is Annabeth. Telling Percy that Luke loves Annabeth like a little sister actually is helpful advice for defeating Kronos, because Percy’s decision to hand Luke the knife is, you know, the decision, and he knows it’s the right one once he realizes the significance of Luke and Annabeth’s relationship. So when Hestia shows Percy the vision of Luke and Thalia adopting Annabeth, it’s actually some of the most important guidance any god gives team CHB in the whole book, even if it takes Percy a while to understand.

So my point here is that Hestia is incredibly important. Percy says this when he gives her Pandora’s pithos, but there’s still not a lot of attention given to how she is incredibly important. More than that, she didn’t just happen to be the one that knows Luke’s found family is the key to saving the world, she’s the only one who could have known. She’s the goddess of the home, so it’s her power to know what/who a person cares for and who cares for them, just like Ares can sense passion and Aphrodite can sense romantic attraction. It’s not lightning bolts or tidal waves, but I think Hestia’s is the coolest power of any god. What could be more important than magically knowing what’s important?

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When I was little, I loved the trope of “I love them [romantically] but I can’t tell them because I’m scared they won’t reciprocate.” But you know what’s occurred to me? This trope works even better in a platonic/familial sense, because it’s so much less common to admit those types of feelings to someone.

Give me two friends who have to keep biting their tongue to not introduce the other as “my best friend,” because wow, this person really is my best friend but what if I’m not theirs, and best is such a strong word, and will they be offended, and I don’t want to slip up they’re so cool

Give me a completely platonic boy/girl duo who sees each other as brother and sister but not wanting to say so, because that’s a really unusual thing to do, and in so many movies those relationships turn into a romance, and what if people think we’re faking it to “hide our feelings,” but wow I’m really not attracted to them and they’re like a sibling to me

Give me an adult who sees a child like their daughter/son and trying their hardest not to think about them that way, because at least somewhere (if not present), they have biological parents who might love and/or miss them, and I feel like that’s disrespecting them, and anyways how do I explain to a kid (especially a young one) that I love them like they were my own, and I know I trained them and mentored them and even raised them but what if they wish they knew their real parents and just aren’t saying anything to be polite

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find you a friend like Jolene who keep it 💯

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A comic about controlling your symptoms and trying to get other people to understand why it’s so hard to do so, in goo form

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Sometimes I need the reminder.

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‘I really want a mom’: 24-year-old asks former school resource officer to adopt her

Shay Roberson quickly typed the words into her phone. She knew she would never be able to say them out loud.

“Can you think about adopting me one day?” she asked via text. “I really want a mom.”

The Indiana native’s early dream of reuniting with her biological family had faded long before she aged out of the foster care system. Now, at 24 years old, Shay wondered if she might have another chance at a family.

Shay sent the text to Ginnie Wing, her former school resource officer. Wing, now the police chief of Brownsburg Community School Corp., was already Shay’s safe place, her emotional support system and the person she never wanted to let down.

Shay wanted Wing to be more.

Shay looked at the text she had sent, and panicked. She quickly fired off another: “You don’t have to respond just think about it.”

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Could you do the 12 for Bucky? Please?

Bucky and a photograph? Absolutely, babe! (if you’re up for a longer nsfw read, here’s my ao3 fic: Painting the Prophet) 

trigger warnings: tooth extraction, humiliation, forced nudity, cold cell torture, electricity…typical hydra trash party fare

“Don’t,” Bucky says, turning his head to the side. “I don’t want to see it.”

Keep reading

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This kinda hits hard. Miss you friend.

LGBT+ books: We Are The Ants by Shaun David Hutchinson

“We’re not words, Henry, we’re people. Words are how others define us, but we can define ourselves any way we choose.”

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beautiful 😭

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oh my god. that’s so deep.

“who do you think built the house?”

I could die. I mean, I could die cause of trauma, but it’s so fantastic seeing that articulated.

The Thing About Trauma

It’s not as easy as being Something That Happened to You, a package you opened once.

You will wake up in a new ZIP code, have to wander your way home, carry a few of the things you love to this new place you live in now.

& so you buy throw pillows. You put up twinkle lights and have a big celebration, point at the open windows and tell everyone who has ever seen you crying,

look,

look how I have not caged myself, look what I have made out of two paint buckets and the blessing of my still-here body,

but, of course, trauma leans into the bar cart. Spills a drink on the new rug. Breaks off the door handle on his way out.

Trauma sends you letters, without warning, for the rest of your life, usually disguised as something else— 

a medical bill, maybe, or a box of photo albums packaged up by your father, just so you remember trauma knows exactly where you live— who did you think built the house?

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If the negative thoughts you’re having are personalising, try your best to change them like the examples above. Try your best to be kind to yourself. If these thoughts aren’t like the ones that you’re having, that’s okay. This series is going to address the ten most common kinds of negative thoughts every week. If reading or learning about them becomes too much, please remember that you’re allowed to take a break and try again later.

Introduction to ANTs and PRTs

- Generalisation

- Filtering

- All or Nothing Thinking

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Today I’m wearing a nice dark shade of exhaustion under my eyes.