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is the tech support video cute?

RATING: CUTE

The technician is tearing the end user limb from limb and having a great time

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A fascinating insight into the inner workings of our esteemed flagship!

text below the cut

Sorry for being insane , and for the horrible graphic design .. anyways here's the text on the pages if you have difficulty reading it

Cover:

POPULAR TROLLMECHANICS

THINKING ABOUT REFFITING YOUR ENGINES ?: Check out our picks for the best helm accessories available on the market today, with advice to help you make the perfect choice for your ship P.54

THE MOST POWERFUL EQUIPMENT NEEDS THE BEST ENGINEERS!: Learn all about the thorough maintenance routine Her Imperious Condescension's skilled team of engineers stick to to ensure that the most powerful (and oldest!) engine in our mighty fleet keeps running for thousands more sweeps! .

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HYGIENE, REPAIR AND HEALTH

"Something a lot of newer crews miss, is the importance of hygiene".

The empress is known to put a lot of emphasis on keeping her iconic helmsman intact and in good enough shape to power her ship perpetually , and so her engineering team is highly trained and capable in both the mechanical and the more medical aspects of helm care. The chief engineer told us all about the philosophy present on the imperial flagship: "On this ship we really believe that keeping the helmsman physically healthy by seeing to its biological needs , similar to yours or mine, such as brushing its teeth or washing its hair, is the key for a long lasting engine". Working with such dated equipment is not without its challenges, but the crew -

A small change in your outlook on helm maintenance could make your engine last a lot longer, and stronger!

Touring the flagship made it evident that while the helmsman is not a living, sentient troll such as the actual crew manning the ship, it is still more similar to them than to the computers surrounding it. For this reason, it should come as no surprise that it can fall victim to ailments like sicknesses and disorders comparably to any living troll. The crew stresses that these problems can easily be avoided by simply spending a few minutes each day, or at least once a week, practicing basic care on your helmsman. Our team met with a specialist who recalled encountering a rotting, sick, and weak helmsman powering a smaller spacecraft they had once visited to oversee maintenance. No wonder the ship was running slow and unreliably! See, a lot of captains are repulsed by their engine, and want to avoid seeing it as much as possible. This is the wrong approach!

Hygiene for your helmsman should be thorough and even down to the teeth, as they are the source of many infections. Just be careful not to get bitten!

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yandere this and tsundere that how about doing your laundere

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can i sit under your desk and chew on the wires? 🥺👉👈

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This isn't even a hate message this is just the funniest possible thing in the universe. I'm losing my shit laughing right now

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don't talk to me till my carapace hardens from my last molt 😭😭😂😂

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A pharmacy of pill bugs

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i have lots of sexual fantasies such as getting through a day without a headache