croupiergin

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i have a cat named The Lady and my favourite thing about her is that she manages to have this very petite, delicate face while also being incredibly fat so every time she goes downstairs i just hear like.

THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK THUnk thunkthunkthunk 

and then my mother in the softest, most delighted voice going “oh, hello my wee lady!”

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Chicago Tribune, Illinois, May 24, 1938

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nosy anons let's go

0: Height

1: Age

2: Shoe size

3: Do you smoke?

4: Do you drink?

5: Do you take drugs?

6: Age you get mistaken for

7: Have tattoos?

8: Want any tattoos?

9: Got any piercings?

10: Want any piercings?

11: Best friend?

12: Relationship status

13: Biggest turn ons

14: Biggest turn offs

15: Favorite movie

16: I’ll love you if…

17: Someone you miss

18: Most traumatic experience

19: A fact about your personality

20: What I hate most about myself

21: What I love most about myself

22: What I want to be when I get older

23: My relationship with my sibling(s)

24: My relationship with my parent(s)

25: My idea of a perfect date

26: My biggest pet peeves

27: A description of the girl/boy I like

28: A description of the person I dislike the most

29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend

30: What I hate the most about work/school

31: What my last text message says

32: What words upset me the most

33: What words make me feel the best about myself

34: What I find attractive in women

35: What I find attractive in men

36: Where I would like to live

37: One of my insecurities

38: My childhood career choice

39: My favorite ice cream flavor

40: Who I wish I could be

41: Where I want to be right now

42: The last thing I ate

43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately

44: A random fact about anything

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I CHERISH THIS LAST HALF HOUR OF PEACE. 

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Whenever someone says I’m kind and patient:

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SLPT: Buy a virtual reality headset and then never take it off so you never have to live your own life again.

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The thing about knitting is it’s much harder to fear the existential futility of all your actions while you’re doing it.

Like ok, sure, sometimes it’s hard to believe you’ve made any positive impact on the world. But it’s pretty easy to believe you’ve made a sock. Look at it. There it is. Put it on, now your foot’s warm.

Checkmate, nihilism.

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yeah..

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Pale confession letter

> You are anxious as you do this, but if you don’t do it quickly then you probably never will.

> You stuff the envelope under his door and scuttle way wheezing.

Dear Karkat,

I feel that perhaps this isn’t the best time for such things and I am sorry, but I am unable to not think about it when we are together. I don’t wish to taint our friendship or make things awkward in any way, and I know we agreed after October that we only wished to be friends. But somewhere along the way my heart started to feel certain things. I am very sorry and I understand completely if you do not feel the same and would rather keep things as they are. It is also fine if you wish for some distance for your comfort.

And I know realize I have beat around the bush. My feelings are pale. I have a pale crush on you. I think about the happiness and welfare of many people but you hold my attention in a different way. I know you have expectations for yourself and I want to help you achieve those, but not the expense of your well being. I enjoy being close to you and talking about our worries, concerns and it makes me happy how you help me feel like I can do better. And I hope I am able to make you feel the same way.

Frankly I do not know much about romance in any of the quadrants but I did do some research and from my limited understanding, the desire to help someone be their best self while also aiding them in staying grounded is the hallmarks of moirallegiance.

Once again, I understand if you do not feel the same and there is no pressure on you to respond to me in kind or in any way. I just wanted to voice this in some form to you.

I value your friendship greatly and will always. Whenever I can make you smile and help you feel your best self, I am happy.

Thank you for your friendship and for listening to my rambles, Karkat.

Sincerely yours,

Gwen

You finally get around to reading the mystery letter that’s been gathering dust while you’ve been running around half the city doing your dirty business. You immediately wheeze into your water and nearly suffer a fatal and super fucking embarrassing choking fit. 

You also immediately run to your fancy stationary, because uh, HOLY SHIT? You have to write the- 

Oh god, you have to write the perfect response. Fuck. 

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Don't laugh at your frog mom its rude.

You delete this because you’re NOT AN IDIOT, INSPECTOR. 

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cant believe your dad has to get a new girlfriend now

I’M NOT SURE HE GIVES A SHIT.