crucifixaudit

[crucifixaudit]

Oh what a handsome gift

To live in a land of sin

(Just an older drawing from those pants I kept seeing on twitter, and because I really wanted to draw her bush 🫡)

[crucifixaudit]

Make me.

[crucifixaudit]

He's so embarrassing, I love him

[crucifixaudit]

MEN!

you have to wear this and nothing else

[crucifixaudit]

Crucifix: I'm a boy, but it doesn't particularly bother me when people think I'm a girl

Crucifix after being repeatedly and exclusively called a girl, even by people who have called him a boy before, solely because he's noticeably pregnant: ...hm. okay so it turns out this is starting to bother me.

[crucifixaudit]

Girl Ferdie in colored pencil and marker.

[crucifixaudit]

🌪️🍻🕸️ Questions for Daisy and Soy!

Sorry for taking so long responding!!

[ 🌪️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat’s the one choice they regret (not) making ?

Daisy - Daisy has a lot of regrets! But I don't think any of them are from inaction or failure to make a decision.

Soy - They stayed with the great hawk, but they never decided on whether or not to return their affections. They still haven't really made a choice here. They feel like they should have decided beforehand, and only stayed if they felt like they could return the great hawk's affections. (They don't realize that the great hawk wouldn't have accepted any decision other than them staying)

[ 🍻 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat kind of drunk are they ?

Daisy - Daisy loves to drink. She drinks too much. It is a self-destructive habit. She drinks for the purpose of putting herself into a state where bad things will happen to her. (i.e. "I let you buy me drinks, I'm letting you get me drunk, aren't you going to take advantage?")

She drinks often enough that she doesn't have a single mood or nature that she is while drinking. She's usually either horny, depressed, or chill.

Soy - Soy drinks whenever someone offers him a drink! They will drink more and more and more because of that! Surprisingly good at keeping their wits about them though. Still rejects advances, and eventually gets up and hobbles on home. Can more or less just seem like they're in a daze when drinking. They're listening to what everyone is saying, but are more passive in conversations.

[ 🕸️ ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they have a favourite lie they like to hear ?

Daisy - "I love you"~. It's not a knowing lie! People believe they love her! It's only a lie because it's not true, they don't love her, they love who she is pretending to be. Regardless though, that's the point of it, isn't it? To hear people say that to you. To have people who want to care for "you", who want to see "you", who want to stay by "your" side.

Other than that- Any lie. Lie to her. She can usually tell, and it spikes her curiosity. Oh, you're lying~? Why? What about this conversation makes you feel like lying? What are you hiding?

Soy - Soy never knows anyone is lying. They don't have a favorite lie they like to hear. Um, if you play along with the fantastical stories they make up, they like that. They know you're just playing along.

[crucifixaudit]

🫳 📜🎱 >:3c

Thank you for the ask! 🥰

🫳 Who do they feel they owe, but never paid back?

There are several villains Ferdie feels are "owed" a beating. Whenever he spots an Underground Cat Cafe worker, an abusive client, or a Darryl harasser out in the wild, he's gonna follow them and fuck em up.

For regular folk, it's less that he feels he owes anyone and more that he feels grateful for kindness and thus tries to express that gratitude in different ways.

📜 Is there a story they love sharing with others?

With all the antics Ferdinand gets up to, it's easy to forget that he loves to fish! He has a lot of fishing stories. None of them are as interesting as he believes they are.

🎱 What kind of future do they crave, and who’s in it?

Ferdinand had spent the majority of his life in survival mode; it was more important to meet his needs from one day to the next than to plan for the long term. When he does eventually gain a secure environment, he's still hard-wired to expect a shift that will displace him. The most future he is able to hope for is companionship and connections, even if they're temporary.

Having children a couple years after meeting Alex finally rewires his biology. Unlike how many parents feel overwhelmed with the responsibility of having kids, Ferdinand is grounded by them. By imagining his children's future, he can start picturing his own.

The future he craves is one full of family, friends, and music.

[crucifixaudit]

✎ㅤ. . .ㅤ𝑯𝑬𝑨𝑫𝑪𝑨𝑵𝑶𝑵 𝑸𝑼𝑬𝑺𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵𝑺.

₊˚⊹ ㅤa collection of character analysis/headcanon questions to learn more about your character and your partners'! writing/headcanon prompts requested by anonymous. feel free to edit these as you see fit.

[ 🖐️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat do their hands feel like: soft, calloused, trembling ? [ ☂️ ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they crave touch or fear it ? [ 🎐 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they have a sound, like a song or voice, that they associate with peace ? [ 🕊️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhen did they feel the safest ? [ 💤 ]ㅤ.ㅤhow do they sleep ? curled up, sprawled, holding onto something ? [ 🦇 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat is a fear they never talk about ? [ 🔒 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat is a secret they’ve sworn never to tell ? [ 🪢 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhen was the last time they broke a promise ? [ 🫳 ]ㅤ.ㅤwho do they feel they owe, but never paid back ? [ 💼 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat do they always carry with them ? [ 🧨 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat’s the quickest way to set them off, even if they hide it well ? [ ⛓️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat does guilt feel like to them ? [ 💢 ]ㅤ.ㅤwho have they never forgiven and never will ? [ 🩸 ]ㅤ.ㅤis there something or someone that, if lost, would break them ? [ 🌧️ ]ㅤ.ㅤis there a pain they refuse to heal from ? [ 🪞 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhen have they looked at their reflection and hated what they saw ? [ 📿 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat superstition or ritual do they cling to ? [ 🌊 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhen was the last time they cried ? [ 🐾 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo animals like them instinctively ? [ 🪶 ]ㅤ.ㅤhow do they laugh ? [ 🫀 ]ㅤ.ㅤwho taught them what love is ? did it hurt ? [ 💭 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they believe they’re worthy of being loved ? [ 🎀 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat is their main love language ? [ 🔦 ]ㅤ.ㅤwho do they search for ? [ 📜 ]ㅤ.ㅤis there a story they love sharing with others ? [ 🌒 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they have a dream or goal they have given up on ? [ 🕯️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat memory do they replay when they’re alone ? [ 🌪️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat’s the one choice they regret (not) making ? [ 🧩 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat’s a truth about themselves they refuse to admit ? [ 🍻 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat kind of drunk are they ? [ ✉️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat kind of letter would they write but never send ? [ 🗡️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat is a scar that they have but never talk about ? [ 🕸️ ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they have a favourite lie they like to hear ? [ 🪦 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat would they want on their gravestone but never admit aloud ? [ 🎱 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat kind of future do they crave, and who’s in it ? [ 🌀 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they have a recurring dream or nightmare ? [ 🍃 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they feel like they belong ? [ ⚓ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat does “home” mean to them ? [ 🧭 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhere would they go if they could disappear tomorrow ?

[crucifixaudit]

🫳🫀💭 mwehehehe 😈😈😈

[ 🫳 ]ㅤ.ㅤwho do they feel they owe, but never paid back ?

Daisy - Sort of Sydney. She cant give back what she took from Sydney, and feels a lot of guilt about it.

Soy - Bailey. Literally. I know its the basis for the gameplay, but they do feel like Bailey gave them a lot. Gave them a comfortable place to live, community, care, food, clothes. But they arent willing to do what is needed to pay Bailey back.

[ 🫀 ]ㅤ.ㅤwho taught them what love is ? did it hurt ?

Daisy - Remy taught Daisy what her current concept of "love" is. Yes, it hurt. But in reality part of her recognizes that she doesn't know what love is.

Soy - Great Hawk. Yes. They're starting to understand what love is slowly over time.

[ 💭 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they believe they’re worthy of being loved ?

Daisy - Absolutely not.

Soy - Has never considered this. I don't think they want to either. Soy will do everything they can in order to think about anything other than theirself.

[crucifixaudit]

Ah! That first note actually adds another layer and balances them more, that's such a good way to put it! Crucifix's desire for love/way of loving can be both a strength and a flaw, that determination to be loved for himself and to love others as they are can go too far and become an unwillingness/inability to grow and change himself (for better or for worse), and it can lead to him being overprotective in a way that shields the one he loves from growing and changing as well (for better or for worse).

On the flip side, Daisy's right that to be loved is to change for someone, and to love someone is to change for them, but as much as that can be a strength it can (and in Daisy's case does currently) push too far into becoming a flaw, the idea that you have to change for someone (and in fact have to change to be what they want).

chewing on this concept frantically in my mindddd

I hope Daisy finds someone who loves her for herself even as 'herself' changes over time ;w;

@ambicutiebutt In developing Crucifix more, I realized both he and Daisy come from a core want/need, but with polar opposite solutions/responses. Enjoy "oops accidental narrative foils" ;w;

[crucifixaudit]

☂️🦇🩸

☂️ do they crave touch or fear it ?

Crave it, constantly. If it comes from a place of love or affection, all touch is good touch. Head-pets, grabbing, spanking, pinning, cuddling, biting, all of it please! If it doesn't come from a place of love or affection (or someone trusted), gentle touches like a hand on the shoulder or his head, even a bit of light groping is still fine. Once it starts to get controlling or hurtful though, biting you.

🦇 ㅤwhat is a fear they never talk about ?

Falling. Crucifix is someone who needs grounding and touch for a wide variety of reasons, and with the absence of another person, he needs the grounding of... er, well, the ground. He needs contact with physical things to maintain a sense of control. Swimming doesn't trigger a fear response because he's still touching the water, can still propel and control himself to an extent, but even being swept up in currents, something physical and real is taking control and he can let it happen.

Falling though? Total free-fall with nothing around to grab onto or hold? Nope, nope nope nope, absolutely not. Air isn't tangible enough and gravity isn't real. (I mean it is but it's not like a physical-contact tangible thing so it's basically not real.) Planes or riding on something flying is fine, but the thought of falling off a tall cliff, where it would take tens of seconds to hit the ground? Absolutely the fuck not. Crucifix can watch someone be skinned alive and not blink, but videos of people jumping off cliffs in wingsuits and spending minutes in the air could make him pop into his demon form, fluffed up like a startled cat and flattening himself against every available surface.

🩸 ㅤis there something or someone that, if lost, would break them ?

His Master. If he lost his Master, either because his Master sent him away or his Master was killed, his mind would shatter and he would never get it back. He would rip the world to shreds until someone finally put him out of his misery.

[crucifixaudit]

🌧️🐾🍃 for Crucifix!

!!! Thank you :D

🌧️ ㅤis there a pain they refuse to heal from ?

So a bit of lore behind Crucifix (and how I conceptualize him and where he comes from)! To Crucifix, there's a distinct difference between devils and demons: devils are human souls who change/corrupt/transform over time (willingly or otherwise), while demons are natives of the plane of Hell. He personally calls/thinks of the demon tf in DoL as 'devil tf', because humans can't really 'become' demons - with one notable 'sort of' exception. There are a lot of different kinds of demons, but Crucifix in specific is called a Chimera (also called, ironically enough, 'Orphan' demons). Chimeras aren't 'born' so much as they 'appear' when enough scraps and pieces of souls and bodies sort of coagulate together into a new form of life. Specifically, they come from abandoned and unwanted children. NOT from abortions, to be clear, but from children who were born and then left to die because they were too much work or not what their parents wanted or inconvenient or embarrassing or what have you. Chimeras are mostly formed from abandoned demon children, but due to the connection formed between Hell and the human world, they can end up with pieces-parts of human children as well (hence the 'sort of' exception).

Chimera demons are born with a deep-seated need to be loved, and become single-mindedly devoted to someone who gives that to them. Because they're made up of so many parts, they're also incredibly powerful, so having a Chimera demon be devoted to you is incredibly appealing. The tightrope though is that Chimeras need to be loved for who they are, flaws and inconveniences and difficulties and all, because of how they came to be, and they are keenly aware of when someone only loves them (or pretends to love them) for what they can do or the benefit they can provide. Pretending to love a Chimera to try and use them usually ends extremely badly. It's a very high-risk high-reward kind of situation, and most don't even bother trying, so a lot of Chimeras are left abandoned and it drives them mad.

Crucifix was incredibly 'fortunate' in that he was found when he was very young and considered easier to potentially manipulate and not yet powerful enough to do too much damage, so a lot of his formative years were spent being bought and sold by several slavers before his Master found him and bought him. He's also seen other Chimera demons before, particularly what happens to them if they're left alone to go mad. Crucifix does genuinely love his Master, and his Master does genuinely love and take care of him, but Crucifix is painfully aware of what could happen to him if he's ever cast aside. He considers it a 'good motivator' to constantly prove his continued devotion.

🐾 do animals like them instinctively ?

Social group animals like dogs or some breeds of birds like Crucifix instinctively for the most part, though it still largely depends on the individual animal. (Privately, for as much as Crucifix loves and understands dogs, he adores cats. Watching humans be like 'this is my cat, they're a war criminal and constantly chew holes in all of my socks and knock over my plants, I love them with all my heart and soul and I would kill for them without hesitation' just like, rewrote part of his brain a little.)

🍃 do they feel like they belong ?

Not even remotely :) He is constantly conscious that he is an outsider, that he is an Other, that he is unnatural, and even when around another who is 'like him', they aren't, not really, and they can't be. The only thing that ever comes close is belonging to someone. (It's why he wears Whitney's collar and why every time someone takes it away from him, his priority is always to seek Whitney out and get it replaced as soon as possible.)

[crucifixaudit]

@thedolmainblog finally got around to reading up more on your OCs and having thoughts about them ;w;

Blythe: I think Crucifix and Aiden would be good for each other? Crucifix responds really well to big protective guys in general, and Blythe's horniness wouldn't bother him (he's got his own demon transformation to keep up now, and he does like sex). He also wouldn't be bothered by Blythe hurting people regardless of the reason (and maybe, quietly, he likes people being protective over him like that). Also BOY HOWDY if your character likes acts of service, Crucifix is ALL ABOUT affection through acts of service, it's hard-wired into who and what he is. Keeping track of administrative stuff, predicting your wants and needs and arranging for them ahead of time, making everything in your life run as smoothly as possible, that's where he THRIVES baybee~

Aiden: I think Aiden and Crucifix would be really funny? Like on the one hand, Crucifix's experience is being the Devil's secretary. He's all about contracts and audits and administrative work, and he wouldn't really flinch at Aiden's pragmatism. He'd be a great personal assistant for Aiden (possibly with an added ego boost of having a subservient and obedient demonic assistant to their angel tf). On the flip side though, Crucifix is always going to be devoted to his Master above everyone else (even though he does love/have genuine affection for his human dalliances, and might even stay in the human world to spend the rest of their lives with them, ultimately he's going to go back to his Master at the end of things). No matter how close he and Aiden get or how much he's willing to submit and do whatever Aiden wants, he's never going to think ONLY of Aiden the way they want. If Aiden doesn't ultimately lose interest, I think it would be funny for them to seethe/agonize/lose their shit a little that Crucifix would be perfect, if he wasn't already devoted to someone else (especially that someone else being the Devil).

[crucifixaudit]

pov you're fixer's target 🫢

[crucifixaudit]

✎ㅤ. . .ㅤ𝑯𝑬𝑨𝑫𝑪𝑨𝑵𝑶𝑵 𝑸𝑼𝑬𝑺𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵𝑺.

₊˚⊹ ㅤa collection of character analysis/headcanon questions to learn more about your character and your partners'! writing/headcanon prompts requested by anonymous. feel free to edit these as you see fit.

[ 🖐️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat do their hands feel like: soft, calloused, trembling ? [ ☂️ ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they crave touch or fear it ? [ 🎐 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they have a sound, like a song or voice, that they associate with peace ? [ 🕊️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhen did they feel the safest ? [ 💤 ]ㅤ.ㅤhow do they sleep ? curled up, sprawled, holding onto something ? [ 🦇 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat is a fear they never talk about ? [ 🔒 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat is a secret they’ve sworn never to tell ? [ 🪢 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhen was the last time they broke a promise ? [ 🫳 ]ㅤ.ㅤwho do they feel they owe, but never paid back ? [ 💼 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat do they always carry with them ? [ 🧨 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat’s the quickest way to set them off, even if they hide it well ? [ ⛓️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat does guilt feel like to them ? [ 💢 ]ㅤ.ㅤwho have they never forgiven and never will ? [ 🩸 ]ㅤ.ㅤis there something or someone that, if lost, would break them ? [ 🌧️ ]ㅤ.ㅤis there a pain they refuse to heal from ? [ 🪞 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhen have they looked at their reflection and hated what they saw ? [ 📿 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat superstition or ritual do they cling to ? [ 🌊 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhen was the last time they cried ? [ 🐾 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo animals like them instinctively ? [ 🪶 ]ㅤ.ㅤhow do they laugh ? [ 🫀 ]ㅤ.ㅤwho taught them what love is ? did it hurt ? [ 💭 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they believe they’re worthy of being loved ? [ 🎀 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat is their main love language ? [ 🔦 ]ㅤ.ㅤwho do they search for ? [ 📜 ]ㅤ.ㅤis there a story they love sharing with others ? [ 🌒 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they have a dream or goal they have given up on ? [ 🕯️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat memory do they replay when they’re alone ? [ 🌪️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat’s the one choice they regret (not) making ? [ 🧩 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat’s a truth about themselves they refuse to admit ? [ 🍻 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat kind of drunk are they ? [ ✉️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat kind of letter would they write but never send ? [ 🗡️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat is a scar that they have but never talk about ? [ 🕸️ ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they have a favourite lie they like to hear ? [ 🪦 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat would they want on their gravestone but never admit aloud ? [ 🎱 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat kind of future do they crave, and who’s in it ? [ 🌀 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they have a recurring dream or nightmare ? [ 🍃 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they feel like they belong ? [ ⚓ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat does “home” mean to them ? [ 🧭 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhere would they go if they could disappear tomorrow ?

[crucifixaudit]

🔦, and 🌊 for Daisy please :)

@psychophanticpervert

[ 🌊 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhen was the last time they cried ?

She almost never cries. It would be possible if she was in an extremely bad mental state and physically attacking someone else but going way past what can be considered self defense.

[ 🔦 ]ㅤ.ㅤwho do they search for ?

Someone who would search for her. Someone who wouldnt allow her to hide behind her mask.