crunkmom

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Technology transparent PNGs

free 2 use

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matsuura aya’s mascot character- ayankey cellphone strap

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Dragon Fortress ‘Gamera 2000’ PlayStation

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killdbykill

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n i g h t d r iv e

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funky flooring collection. Mimic loves you!!!!

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wish you were here

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Still just visiting... It may all be temporary, but Mimic still loves you. :]

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Microsoft Embroidered Teddy Bear Blanket

??????

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🧸☁️🗝️🏠

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ancient friends

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may 30, 2025

11:45 pm

feelin: tense !

listenin to: still thinking - jazzmasters

[[[[ trigger warning - abuse ]]]]

I'm pretty sure it's been over a year since I've made an entry here, and the only reason is that I've had absolutely no energy or motivation to do so. So much has happened since my last entr,y and tbh I am having a terrible time mentally and physically. I am in so much pain from the stress ive been dealing with every day my knots get bigger and bigger and my migraines are coming back ):

i went to work today, made some groceries, and tended to my mother. absolutely drained from what I've been through recently in terms of the abuse and harassment from my own family and my mother, having to deal with the police being called on me, and still being verbally and mentally abused. I'm also trying to find a plan to move out and put some money aside amidst trying to pay off my debt, bills, and other necessities. It is so hard having this same routine of just being stressed out over and over, is really getting to me, and it makes me feel like I'm at rock bottom.

What really hit me hard today and made me want to make an entry was realizing where I am right now. at 24. realizing I am still living with the person who hurt me the most, ruined my mental health, hit me, sit on me, deprived me of things that made me happy, emotionally neglected me, and scarred me for life. That I sacrificed my young years for my mother, and her being completely ungrateful and treats me like I am useless. Yet she expects me to take care of her and try to help her "heal" when all she's done is hurt me and take advantage of me. ruin my perception of love. made me grow up to think that its normal for people to hurt me, take advantage of me, verbally abuse me. here I am still, not driving, not in school, and completely unmotivated and shes the thing that's been holding me back other than myself. The stress just always shuts me down. kills my motivation and my mood. all it takes is one argument with her, and i don't feel like doing anything because im like whats the point when i have to still come home and deal with this ? whats the point of achieving things i yearn for when im not truly happy ? im trying my hardest to hit the start button on all these things. But the regret of not pursuing these things years ago i hurting my heart. im so disappointed of myself. What sucks the most is that I have to do all the work healing from all the pain someone has casued me; the person that gave me life.. just so much work. I dread it so much. Ive also spent these years watching my mom rot in her bed, neglect herself and most likely watched her develop paranoid schizophrenia. it is too much to deal with, and i want to step back but i cant find a way out.

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moodboard 2nite

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mechanized

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christmas felt different then

“…it’s just a part of growing up I guess…”