cryptidtyping

[cryptidtyping]

sans/pap AUs with a S/O who smokes pot??

Like they hear them coughing up a lung from the other room and when they go to check it out they find that their S/O has hotboxed the room:D

(not sure how u feel about weed, so if this makes u uncomfortable, just ignore meee<3333)

p.s. I love how u portray them sm!! none of that US sans infantilization crap<3

Ahh ive actually been waiting for this to be requested!! I myself am a stoner(smoking while writing this lol) and I hc that our lovely Stretch is one as well even though I am aware it's not canon.

Hope you guys enjoy these as much as I did imagining them

★・・★・・★・・★・・★・・★・・★・・★

Undertale:

Sans:

He was coming to see what you wanted to get for takeout for dinner and when he opened the door the smell of weed blasts him in his non-existent nose and he's surrounded by smoke. Takes one look at you and sighs affectionately as he opens the windows to let the smoke out. "could've gone outside." He teases he knows what a hotbox is and that that's what you were doing. Snuggles up close to you and brings up the prospect of food as he brushes his distills through your hair. He might take a hit or two if you offer, he's not a big stoner but it's not like he's never smoked before. Doesn't really bother him that you smoke does prefer if you do it outside so the place doesn't reek but if you keep it to one room that also works.

Papyrus:

You had been in the bathroom for awhile and Papyrus was getting worried. When he knocked on. the door he heard some clatter behind it and waited patiently as he called out. "MY DEAR ARE YOU OKAY?" The utter shock on his face when he's absolutely violated by that dank ass smell and hit with a puff of smoke when you open the door with the widest grin and red eyes. I feel like Papyrus absolutely owns a D.A.R.E shirt so you can imagine he's a little disappointed but he knows now is not a good time to talk about it. Gets you a nice cup of cold water to drink and turns on a documentary that he'll listen to as you watch. He's gonna be taking care of chores but checking up on you every 15 minutes or so. Will absolutely nag at you when you sober up but he's not gonna force you to stop just…take it outside next time.

Underfell:

Red:

Was finding you for some cuddles and found you blitzed out of your mind puffing on a joint as the room is filled with smoke. He chuckles and gives you a affectionate grin as he looks over your intoxicated state. "looks like yer havin some fun doll". Gets you something to drink and something to munch on before cuddling up next to you and turning on a movie as he gently prys the joint from your grip. He will absolutely smoke with you and will probably ask to join if he finds you already smoking. He's more of a drinker than a stoner but he'll start smoking a bit more if you do.

Edge:

The utter disgust thats expressed on his face when he smells weed. He's immediately nagging you. "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" He glares at you through narrowed sockets and then remembers all the times he tried to talk to Stretch or Red when they were smoking together and sighs. He knows nows not the time and shelves his disappointment and anger and leads you to the couch. Gets you some water and watches over you as he gently rubs your head occasionally glancing at whatever you turned on. He's very passive aggressive at first when you sober up and then comes the nag fest. Does not like the smell and doesn't want it in the house so your designated smoke spot is now outside. He knows he can't make you stop and honestly it's legalized and he doesn't really care since you're not breaking any laws, he was really just upset you had it inside his nice clean house. Had like 17 scented candles lit the night you hotboxed that room and was glaring at you while he lit them.

Underswap:

Blue:

Has a here we go again moment when he's hit full force with the smell of weed and your dopey grin. Memories of his first time catching a young stretch smoking flits through his mind. He doesn't chastise you and instead grins and gives you a quick peck. "HELLO LOVELY ARE YOU ENJOYING YOURSELF?" He's gonna make sure you have a good high he knows people have their own reasons for smoking and assumes you have yours like his brother has is and doesn't really question it. I'm in between on if he'd smoke or not I feel like he'd try it after being curious for a bit but I don't think he'd be a stoner. Would plan that shit out and makes what he gets from dispensaries last MONTHS because he simply doesn't smoke like that.

Stretch:

Now stretch DOES smoke like that. Not even fazed when he opens the door to your hotbox. "awh honey you didn't invite me?" Grabs his own stuff so he can contribute to the sesh and you guys smoke together. Lazy high cuddles and silly questions that turn into philosophical conversations. Absolutely loves smoking with you having a SO who's a stoner isn't a must but it's a huge bonus. Actually starts to plan dates like edibles and the aquarium or walks through the woods with joints, a picnic where he gifts you flower instead of of flowers and such.

Horrortale:

Axe:

Confused when he opens the door to the smell of weed and smoke. Poor baby at first thinks there's a fire and is looking around for it until he sees what you have in your hands. He relaxes slightly upon seeing the bong and heads over your way. "…had me scared lamb" he mutters as he curls up around you and starts to purr. Always carries snacks on him so your munchies are good. Will get you anything you ask for water, food, blankets ect. Now I feel like since he already has memory problems we shouldn't be giving axe weed… but he absolutely got into your edibles one time and destroyed the entire batch. When you told him what they were he just starts laughing. Would not leave your side once the high kicked in and start carrying you everywhere like a doll. Ended up going for a walk in the woods for like 4 hours because he kept getting distracted by literally everything. Don't even get me started on his munchies. So no Axe isn't a stoner but I feel like an edible every now and then he would absolutely do.

Willow:

Not as disappointed as Papyrus surprisingly. A little disappointed still when he comes face to face with your hot box and opens the windows to clear the room as he shakes his head. Makes you something to eat real quick and gets you something to drink. Has you in his lap as you guys watch a documentary. He's pretty much down for any wacky adventure you might want to go on in this state and he will absolutely be joining you worried about your safety. Willow could be convinced to try edibles especially since it would help with his chronic pain and it doesn't really bother him that you smoke as long as you're doing it in moderation. (he will step in if he thinks you're getting dependant on the substance(all of them would))

[cryptidtyping]

I love Nightmare in all is contained intense energy, but I don't do well with fancy gifts/wine/dining; not that I'll turn up my nose at those things just that they can make me nervous. Do you do well with being wined and dined on a highly luxurious level?

Although Nightmare would definitely enjoy a lover who is accustomed to luxury, one who expects the same refinery he does and preens when he pampers them... I think you're sorely mistaken if you believe he'll find your discomfort anything other than utterly adorable. Your aversion to fancy things helps him to not take himself so seriously; on top of that, not only is he literally a being of negativity (your nervousness is a nice light snack), but the way you squirm and overthink is so cute he can hardly bear it. Watching you fret cutlery will make his day.

You: I'm so sorry. This is a disaster. You must've spent so long organising this dinner date, and I'm ruining it. I can't believe I didn't look anything up before we came here. I - I just - this is a completely unnecessary amount of spoons for one meal! Why is this one so tiny? Which do I even use!?

Nightmare: we're alone, dear. you can use whichever one you like.

You: The etiquette police won't come get me?

Nightmare, chin on his hand, falling more and more in love as the evening goes on: if the etiquette police show up i'll be sure to explain the situation.

[cryptidtyping]

being in my brain is so annoying sometimes I swear every three weeks I rediscover some basic 101-level writing principle like "sometimes it's more effective to show rather than to tell" and "planting concepts in advance lets you pay them off later"

[cryptidtyping]

How do you feel about Character.Ai?

Hate it?..

I dislike it and I'd never use it because of how it scrapes writing by other people to generate slop for people unwilling to bother writing for themselves, even for something as small and indulgent as fanfic

If you want to find out how one of the twinks from Hazbin Hotel would react to x/y/z then you can think about it for yourself instead of watching a chatbot cobble together and regurgitate a bunch of other people who actually took the three or so minutes to think creatively for themselves.

[cryptidtyping]

what if I kissed Adam. I just really wanna kiss Adam.

[cryptidtyping]

Dedicated to my fluff-loving friend, Ms. 🍑. I'm getting whiplash. The last four days were probably the darkest and smuttiest writing I've done - and today, it's ...fluff to the max. I stuffed all the fluff in my mouth. I want this story to be so fluffy that I become fluffy.

 A smile was said to be worth a thousand words, a silent language that could light up the room, soothe others, or even hide the darkest of truths.  

But what did it mean if you couldn’t smile? If every time you tried, your lips refused to cooperate, did that make you worthless? 

All your life, people said the same thing: “Just smile, honey.” And when you didn’t, they assumed you were upset, angry, or just a frigid bitch. 

But that wasn’t it. It was never that simple. You weren't upset, at least not in the way they thought.  

So, you started practising, standing in front of the mirror day by day, willing yourself to smile. You’d stretch your lips upwards, trying to mould them into something that looked natural. But the face that stared back at you was wrong.  

It didn’t��look like you.  

The curve of your lips felt forced, your eyes not lighting up the way they were supposed to. The reflection almost mocked you with its emptiness, the smile looking more like a grimace, a mask of something false.   

And you hated it.  

You hated how fake it felt, how alien it looked. It didn’t bring you any joy, just a hollow, bitter taste.  

If a smile was truly worth a thousand words, then maybe yours was worth nothing at all. 

Alastor had spent months trying to coax a smile out of you. When you first arrived at the hotel, your lips were a perfect, unyielding line, your eyes flat and devoid of any spark. At first, he paid you no mind. The hotel was bustling, full of fresh souls seeking redemption, and he had no shortage of entertainment.  

The “Princess’ Redemption Program,” as much as it irked him, was thriving. There were countless other residents, and yet...you stood out, your lack of expression gnawing at him more than he’d care to admit.  

He didn’t like you – not at first. While others laughed and grinned, you remained stone-faced, and it irritated him. You befriended everyone in the hotel, navigating its chaos with grace, but never once did your lips so much as twitch into a smile. And that irked him more. 

Eventually, something in him shifted. Perhaps it was the challenge you presented, or maybe he had eternity to burn. Either way, he decided he was going to make you smile. Once, just once, and then he’d be on his merry way.  

So, he tried everything. At first, you merely raised an eyebrow, curious but silent as he suddenly began spending more time with you. Yet, you never complained. Instead, you listened, offering no reaction other than attentive silence.  

He’d tell jokes, ones that normally left him in stitches, but you’d sit there, unblinking, lips still pressed into that same stubborn line.  

Then, he tried pranks. He’d tap your shoulder and watch you startle when he appeared behind you, his laughter echoing down the halls. Every time, the same trick, the same reaction – but never a smile. Only a flicker of surprise before you carried on, as if nothing had happened.  

“Knock, knock!” He said one day, his voice lifting to its usual jovial pitch, eyes gleaming with mischief.  

You tilted your head, blinking innocently at him. “Who’s there?” 

“Boo,” he said, leaning closer, the tension in the air thickening with his creeping grin.  

“Boo, who?” 

His neck tilted, cracking unnaturally to the side as his microphone staff crackled with a sharp burst of static. “Oh, don’t cry now, dear! You’ll really have something to weep about once the fun begins!” His smile stretched wide, cutting into his cheeks as the ominous word settled into the space between you.  

But you stared back, unfazed. “That joke is pretty on-brand with you,” you said in the same soft monotone, nodding slightly before continuing on your way as if nothing had happened.  

Alastor’s left eye twitched as he watched you walk away, completely unfazed. He had told you674 jokes. Six hundred and seventy-four. And not once had you cracked a smile. It couldn’t be that his jokes weren’t funny – that would be an outrageous, preposterous impossibility! 

No, it had to be you.  

No matter how many jokes fell flat, Alastor wasn’t deterred. When punchlines didn’t work, he decided to escalate – physical humour.  

One afternoon, while you were quietly reading in the hotel library, he summoned a shadow tendril with the flick of his hand. It slithered across the floor silently until it reached your side, then gently wiggled under your arm.  

A soft, startled yelp escaped you, a sound so unexpectedly cute that it nearly startled him. You looked down at the mischievous tendril, now waving back at you in playfulness. Your cheeks flushed, embarrassment creeping up your neck as your eyes flicked toward Alastor, trying to understand what just happened.  

And Alastor? He blinked, for the first time in what felt like an eternity, he realized something new about himself. There was something oddly...endearing about the sound you made. It reminded him of a small, startled puppy, and he couldn’t help but want to hear it again.  

But why? 

Why did he suddenly crave that pathetic little noise? He almost wanted to scold himself for it, but the curiosity was far stronger.  

A booming laugh erupted from him instead, loud and dramatic as always, masking the strange and unfamiliar sensation bubbling in his chest. His heart – what was left of it – beat harder, faster. Palpitations? After death? How bizarre.

Over time, however, things changed in subtle ways. He noticed how easily you fit into his life, sliding into his routine with an almost unnerving grace. Somehow, without ever asking, you convinced him to join you for breakfast each morning. While you quietly nibbled on toast with jam or a simple egg, Alastor would indulge in more ...exotic fare – perhaps a raw deer carcass or the seared flesh of a particularly deserving sinner. Yet, your expression never wavered. No grimace. No disgust.  

There was something oddly comforting about your presence at the breakfast table, the quiet companionship as the two of you sat together. Alastor hadn’t realized how much he missed that – true companionship – since arriving in Hell. Surrounded by chaos and destruction, he hadn’t noticed the absence of something so simple, so human.  

He didn’t mind the morning with you. In fact, he began to look forward to them.  

Days blurred into weeks, and then months. Despite the time you spent together, Alastor had still never seen you smile. Occasionally, he thought he caught the faintest hint of something – a softening in your eyes, perhaps, when you glanced his way – but it never quite reached your lips. At this point, he figured he was smiling enough for both of you.  

Then, something strange happened. He stopped obsessing over making you smile. Somewhere along the line, it ceased being a game or a challenge. He just...stopped. And as for what he was doing with you now? He wasn’t entirely sure.  

He found himself becoming more involved in your daily life, his presence intertwining with your routine. He shared more meals with you. He strolled beside you through town, spinning tales of his past, both in life and in Hell, as you listened with quiet, patient attention.  

And now, here he was, sitting next to you in the library, the two of you reading in comfortable silence, side by side.  

Your arms barely touched, but when you turned a page and the lightest brush of your arm grazed his, Alastor found himself leaning ever so slightly toward you. The movement was so subtle, so imperceptible, that even he wasn’t sure why he did it.  

But he didn’t pull away.  

“ROOOWRRR!” A ghastly yowl echoed through the halls, followed by a chorus of scream – most notably, Charlie’s. Her frantic voice rang out, sharp and panicked.  

“ALASTOR!” Charlie’s scream tore down the hall, urgent and distressed.  

You jolted in place as you instinctively turned to Alastor. Confusion and a flicker of fear danced across your face. Without thinking, Alastor’s hand reached out, patting your arm in what should have been a casual gesture.  

Yet, it felt different – this was the first time he’d touched you in an attempt to comfort. His eyes flickered down to where his hand rested against your skin, realizing the weight of the act. Suddenly, he pulled back as if he had been burned, his fingers tingling from the contact.  

Clearing his throat, he straightened up, trying to cover his uncharacteristic slip with a wide, winning smile. “Ah, it’s nothing to worry your silly head about, darling! Just...that thing again. Visits every three years, though it’s a bit early this time,” he said, his tone light as he brushed imaginary lint off his sleeves, his movements slow and deliberate.  

“That...thing?” You tilted your head, your wide eyes full of innocent curiosity and a touch of lingering uncertainty. Your shoulders hunched in slightly, unconsciously trying to make yourself smaller, to shrink away from whatever chaos awaited in the lobby.  

Alastor’s gaze softened, and an unfamiliar urge tugged at him. He wanted to rub your back in reassurance, to ease the tension in your frame. He had hugged Rosie, hugged Mimzy – so surely, hugging you wouldn’t be any different.  

Yet as his eyes traced the delicate line of your figure, he froze. His heart thudded in his chest, the heat crawling up from his core to his cheeks, unbidden and unfamiliar. The feeling, strange and sudden, made his left eye twitch.Heartburn? Now, of all times?

“It’s nothing, darling,” Alastor assured, folding his hands neatly behind his back, masking the odd sensation that threatened to rise. “You might as well come and see for yourself – it's quite the hideous little thing,” he added with a smirk, trying to inject a bit of humour.  

Curiosity lit up your face, your lips parting in a soft gasp, eyes gleaming. “A hideous little thing?” you asked, your voice gentle as you picked up your pace to walk beside him.  

He couldn’t help but notice that each of his strides required you to take two steps to keep up. Without much of a thought, he slowed his pace until you matched him easily. “Yes, hideous and annoying. I’ve repeatedly told everyone not to feed it, yet here we are,” he muttered, his eyes narrowing in mild distaste as you approached the source of the chaos.  

When you reached the lobby, your eyes widened in pure awe. There, bouncing off the walls with a guttural yowl, was a red-furred four-legged creature the size of a cat. Its eyes were comically pointed outward, each one staring in opposite directions, and the tufts of black tipped fur on its ears bore an uncanny resemblance to Alastor’s own. To top it off, the creature sported a monocle on its left eye – just like Alastor’s.  

“Alastor!” Vaggie’s voice cut through the air as she stood in the centre of the room, sweating and pointing an accusatory finger at the beast. “Deal with Catastor!” 

Your eyes darted to Alastor. “Catastor?” you repeated, the name settling on your lips as you tried to suppress the amusement creeping into your voice.  

Alastor sighed, his grin never faltering. “Yes, Catastor. Don’t ask,” he muttered, casting the creature a look of pure disdain. He turned his attention to Vaggie, his grin tightening as his eyes narrowed. “I’ve told you many times, that thing looks nothing like me,” he spat, thrusting the head of his staff toward the red-furred creature now lazily stretching its body and wiggling around the room, seemingly oblivious to the chaos it had caused.  

“Really?” you mused, stepping forward, your eyes sparkling with mischief. “It does look a bit like you,” you teased, inching closer to the bizarre creature.  

Alastor’s gaze darted to you, and his voice lowered, an edge of warning in his tone. “Careful, darling. That thing has a taste for sinners,” he muttered, grimacing. “Considering, it always manages to sneak into my stockpile of them.” 

The beast, as if sensing the conversation was about it, suddenly lunged in your direction. Alastor’s eyes widened in horror. His heart leapt into his throat as he instinctively reached out, but before he could summon even a flicker of his power to protect you, you had already acted.  

With surprising grace, your hands slid under the creature’s armpits, effortlessly catching it mid-lunge. You cradled it as though it were nothing more than a stray kitten. “Hello again,” you cooed softly, your voice calm, eyes brightening with a gentle warmth as you tilted your head in amusement. 

The room was a mess – the lights still swayed from the beast’s earlier rampage, and a bit of the floorboard lay shattered and torn across the space. Everyone’s hair was in disarray, save for Alastor and you.  

Offering an apologetic smile, you looked around. “I’m sorry,” you said softly, glancing at the others. “I didn’t know we weren’t supposed to feed him.” 

Alastor blinked, too stunned to respond. You held the creature against your chest, your fingers tenderly petting its head, and to his utter disbelief, the beast – this monstrous, chaotic thing – melted in your hands. Its lower half sagged like goo, limp and boneless, as you held it up by its torso.  

A burst of laughter slipped from your lips, light and full of joy. “Silly boy,” you murmured, playfully bopping the creature’s nose. Then, you looked up at Alastor, your eyes curved in a gentle, delighted line, and your smile – radiant and bright – struck him like a punch to the gut. “I promise I’ll take care of him properly, so he doesn’t cause any more trouble. Could he stay?” 

“Absolutely-” Alastor began, his voice rising in protest, but the words caught in his throat. His gaze was glued to your lips, curved in that dazzling smile. He hadn’t even noticed the creature snuggling closer to your chest, its purrs filling the air like a mocking reminder of its victory. That hideous, absurd thing had succeeded where he had failed for months.  

Before he could fully voice his objection, Angel Dust’s voice broke through the moment. “Wait - you’ve been feeding it?” Angel coughed, climbing out from beneath the rubble, dusting himself off. “And that thing didn’t try to eat you?” 

Vaggie, eyes narrowed, stomped her foot in frustration. “How do you know it tries to eat people, Angel? Did you feed it too?” 

Angel shrugged, glancing at her sheepishly. “Maybe...” 

Alastor’s eye twitched, irritation surging through him. Months – months of trying to get you to smile, and now, here you were, beaming because of that disgusting creature. He clenched his jaw, attempting to suppress the growing wave of annoyance.  

Vaggie shot a glare toward Charlie, groaning in exasperation. “No...don’t tell me. Have all of you been feeding Catastor after Alastor explicitly told us not to?” 

Alastor gritted his teeth, the growing resentment gnawing at him. The fact that the creature’s name had been twisted to mimic his own was an insult he could barely stand. He opened his mouth, ready to snap with a biting retort, but before he could, you stepped in front of him.  

The beast had fully stretched, wrapping its long, serpentine torso around your neck like a scarf, purring contentedly as it nuzzled into you. Alastor’s eyes flickered between the creature and your smiling face, and for a brief moment, the world seemed to shift.  

That smile – your smile – he'd been chasing it for so long. And now that it was here, he wasn’t sure what to do with the flutter of emotions tangled up inside him.  

“Alastor, if he causes any trouble, I’ll-” you faltered, eyes scanning the floor, searching for words before meeting his gaze. “I’ll deal with the consequences. So, c-could you give him a chance? I promise I’ll take good care of him, we-we'll stay out of trouble!” Your voice wavered, eyes pleading, as your once hopeful smile slowly began to shrink.  

Alastor’s eyes flicked to the red-furred beast lounging lazily around your neck. The creature had been nothing but a nuisance, sneaking into his stock of food and leaving foul messes all over his bayou. The obvious answer was no. It was so clear in his mind – he could already see himself punting the cat-like creature far across the pentagram, dusting his hands of the whole ordeal.  

But as your smile withered, and your eyes searched his, slowly realizing the inevitable refusal, something tugged at his chest. That sinking look in your eyes...it ate away at him.  

The obvious answer was no.  

But instead... 

“I swear,” he began, his tone sharp, deliberate. “If that thing causes any hint of trouble in my room, particularly, I’m going to eat that cat.” He enunciated each word, his grin widening as he flashed his sharp teeth, shooting a glare at the foul creature. In response, the creature mockingly stuck its tongue out at him, which only further soured his mood.  

What surprised him was how your face lit up – how your eyes widened, shimmering with joy, and how your once solemn expression now blossomed into something so bright it seemed to light up the entire room. You grabbed his hands in your excitement, shaking them up and down with a bubbling laughter that filled the air like music.  

“Oh, thank you, thank you!” you exclaimed, laughter spilling from your lips like sunshine.  

Alastor stood frozen, utterly stunned. He stared at you, his grinning mask forced on as he took in the sight of your laughter, the warmth of your smile. It was as if something inside him had cracked open – he hadn’t realized how much he wanted to see you like this, to hear that laughter, to witness the unfiltered joy in your face.  

His heart pounded against his rib cage, thrumming in his ears like a chaotic rhythm, and for a moment, he was paralyzed by the strange, unfamiliar sensation washing over him.  

How had you managed to convince him to take care of that beast? That thing would undoubtedly invade every corner of your life... and, by extension, his.  

He couldn’t understand it.  

Was he ill? Dying? 

But then you called his name, your voice soft, sweet, still laced with that bright smile that now adorned your face as if it always belonged there. And in that instant, he knew. With dawning horror, he realized what was happening.  

His tongue felt heavy, his chest unbearably tight, and his left eye twitched erratically. He took a giant step backward, trying to ground himself, then another, and another, until he melted into the shadows, disappearing without a word.  

Alastor realized, with a deep, unsettling dread, that he fancied you.  

Follow #vexitober 2024 to read my questionable kink/fluff stories!

[cryptidtyping]

What if, pray tell, somehow, the bad guys were the one sick and mc taking care of them?

(Absolutely in love with your posts, keep it up! ❤️)

holy shit anon you're so valid for this

Horror won't leave your side. He doesn't get sick very often, he's a tough guy, so when he does get sick it's pretty serious. But he simply won't let you be alone. Though his breathing is haggard, he's sweating bullets, his eyelight is struggling to focus and he's swaying on his feet, he's stuck to your side. His feverish mind can't stop thinking about all the horrible things that might happen to you when he's not concentrating, he won't allow physical weakness to stop him from watching over the people he loves. The only way to get him to sleep is to tell him you need him to guard you while you sleep. Lured into laying down with you, he might finally just succumb to his fatigue and rest. But even then he must keep an arm over you. Just in case.

Dust is already quiet. So when he's ill, he entirely verbally shuts down, he usually just pretends he's fine or disappears away to his room where he won't be disturbed. But when he doesn't feel well and you're around, he gets cuddly. He quietly reverts to his more Sans-like behaviour, unabashedly seeking physical comfort; he'll hold your hand, nuzzle you, put his head against your chest so he can listen to your heart. Because he's so quiet, he'll often make you jump, unintentionally sneaking up on you. Much like Horror, if you want him to stay in bed you're gonna have to stay with him. But he's easy to look after - make some Sea Tea and put on a movie, and his fever will turn him into a big clingy hot water bottle. You might even be able to coax him into taking his hoodie off. Try not to think about the fact that you might be the only person left in the world that he can cuddle.

It's very, very strange to see Killer without his smile. When he's ill he loses his sense of humour, becoming snappy and sharp. It's amazing how, despite openly mocking him so often, the other skeletons appear genuinely intimidated by a humourless Killer. They give him an impressively wide berth. Perhaps it's a sign that there's a side of Killer you haven't seen yet - a side the other three have seen, that gives them reason to be so anxious. ... You've got nothing to worry about, though. He's still the same Killer. He might be irritable, but he'll do whatever you ask of him. Illness turns him into a huffy tsundere that cracks the moment you use a gentle voice.

Nightmare doesn't get sick. ... At least... he doesn't admit when he's sick. But you'll be able to tell, because he'll be extra grouchy, extra short-tempered, extra tired. He barks out commands to his underlings and reactions angrily to extremely minor infractions. In public, do not draw attention the fact that he's unwell. He won't appreciate it. ... But in private? You can tease him, you can poke him, you can treat him like a big baby. He doesn't protest. He may grumble - but he doesn't stop you. In fact, he draws you closer. If you get him in private, use your sweetest voice, squish his cheekbones, kiss his skull, call him saccharine pet names. This is the most you'll ever get away with. He's clearly soaking up attention.

[cryptidtyping]

Why is nobody questioning how a humorless Killer managed to intimidate the other skeletons?? After what they’ve been through??

What did Killer do???

Well. Put it this way - Nightmare, with his ability to hop multiverses, has instant access to any of the most dangerous and powerful entities in existence. Any monster of his choosing. And out of all of them, he chose Killer as his right hand.

The other skeletons make fun of Killer for one reason - because he allows it. No one's sure why, but he clearly seems to enjoy the banter, he plays the clown and rolls with the punches. Maybe he likes the attention? Maybe he just wants to have fun? Who knows. With how much the other skeletons seem to bully him, you might stop seeing him as one of them. Especially when he's so jolly all the time... pouting to you about being 'bullied', playing it up to get your sympathy kisses like the little gremlin he is.

Though he plays one, Killer's no fool. It's easy to forget he's unhinged - and really, really fucking dangerous. Dangerous enough to be Nightmare's chosen commander.

When Killer isn't laughing anymore, no one is.

[cryptidtyping]

08/18-23/2024 favs

[cryptidtyping]

A little indulgent, venty drabble.

~~~

Your bedroom door opened. You were absolutely certain you had locked it. Alarmed, you shot up in bed, looking to the entrance to see who was intruding on you when your mood was so crushingly terrible.

It was Nightmare. He had a weird expression on his face, he looked very... calm. Calm was weird for him. He was the last person you expected to see.

... Also probably one of the last people you wanted to see.

"What're you doing?" you snapped. "Get out of my room."

His voice was low. "is everything alright?"

"Uh. Yeah." Perhaps you sounded more hostile than you needed to. You were glaring. "Everything's fine. You can go."

... His lovely cyan eye lingered on you.

...

He did not, in fact, leave. He closed the door behind him.

What the hell? Indignation coursed through you. "I'm seriously fine. Leave me alone."

"no," he said, softly.

You really really didn't have the self control for this, right now. You spent every moment of every day watching your words, taking stock of everything that left your lips, ensuring it wouldn't bother those around you even if it was at your own expense. Right now, you were fraying at the edges. You did not have the energy.

"Nightmare. Go away. I want to be alone right now."

He started walking toward you. He looked so calm. He looked like he understood exactly what was going on.

Anger flashed inside you, oil catching in a pan, it spittled and flew to your lips. You did not understand what was going on, and you didn't like feeling stupid.

"Get the fuck out of my room!"

"no."

“What the hell is your problem!?" You leaned forward, voice raising, like a cat raising its hackles. "You want to come watch me at my lowest? Point and laugh, rub it in? Real fucking mature of you.”

He didn't take the anger bait. "no." 

Stars, something was really wrong with you today, because his lidded socket and soothing voice just utterly infuriated you.

“Get out!” you yelled.

He didn't respond. He just looked like he cared.

You picked up the nearest weighted thing - your matte plastic water bottle - and threw it at him as hard as you could. He paused, but only to let the bottle literally just bounce off him... it hit his chest and thudded to the floor, rolling away plaintively.

You were probably acting more like a toddler than a grown adult human right now. But you were out of self control. Out of anything, really. Tired and cranky.

“Fuck off! Leave me alone!”

"it's okay."

What? When he started approaching again, you picked up another heavy object to throw, this time it was your bedside lamp. You were shocking yourself with your own bad behaviour. When you launched that at him, a tentacle curled in the air and caught it, setting it carefully down on the floor and not even interrupting his stride.

“Go bother someone else! I’m not a child!”

Honestly? You left that one open for him. You wanted him to make the most of the opportunity to insult you - maybe he’d say something sharp like “not a child? you sure are acting like one.” Something that would bring you back into territory you felt safe in. You didn't like the way he was looking at you, the way you were the only one yelling but he looked so empathetic and gentle. You wanted some control.

“it’s alright,” he murmured. “you can say what you need to. i know you don’t mean it.”

“What - what the fuck are you talking about?!”  

Nightmare sat beside you, cross-legged on your bed. And before you could do a thing, his extremely dexterous tentacles curled around you; and pulled you in, until you were sitting between his legs.

Oh, you were furious. You weren't even sure what you were yelling, but you were definitely yelling something. If you had been a cat raising your hackles before, now you had your claws out, you were scratching and biting and yowling. You kicked at him, you slapped at his chest, you shoved him like that would do anything.

... He didn't say a thing. His arms rested on either of his knees, and a tentacle carefully brushed your back. You kept hitting him. You ...

... You started to run out of steam. Your 'hits' on his chest became weaker, feebler, until you weren't really hitting him anymore. You were just bumping your enclosed fist against his sternum. The water bottle from before probably did more damage than you were doing now.

...

... You hiccuped.

And then you just started to bawl.

Nightmare clearly had anticipated this all along. He leaned down, face closer to your level, like he wanted you to know he was there. Your head thumped against his shoulder, where it remained, sobs wracking your entire body. He didn’t interrupt. He just let you cry - getting it all out. 

Part of you wanted to be embarrassed. Assaulting him and then wailing right there in his lap. But oh... there was something so wonderful about acting your absolute worst, and yet, not being abandoned. You worked so hard to be liked; every day, you did everything you could to be the kind of person that the people around you would enjoy. So much so that you had no idea what was left, underneath all of the personalities you'd stitched together to make a quilt people would like looking at.

Nightmare had just watched you scream at the top of your lungs, then sob with anything you had left. And yet? He was still there.

By the time your crying quietened down, his eyelight was glowing a little brighter. A little bluer. You weren’t sure what that meant.

“... I-I...” you rubbed your eyes with your sleeve as best you could. Your voice was horrendously hoarse and thin. “I didn’t... mean...”

“i know,” he said, warmly. Sitting this close, you could hear how his voice thrummed from within his chest, not really his mouth. Knowing his lecherous and borderline evil personality, you thought that basically sitting on his lap would've felt different. Risky, perhaps. Right now, it didn't - you felt comforted. The good kind of surrounded.

"I'm sorry."

“don't be. if there’s anyone who would know when anger is a cry for help, it’s me.”

You kept your head on his shoulder. "I shouldn't have hit you."

He tilted his face to you a little more. He was so close - inches away. You could feel his breathing. “honestly? i incited you, in the hopes you would. you just wanted to be angry. everyone deserves to feel angry, every now and then.”

“It doesn’t always feel like it is okay," you muttered.

"anger isn't something to be ashamed of. anger protects you. it tells you when your lines have been crossed."

"How can I be angry, without hurting people? If you were anyone else, I would've really hurt you."

"i'm afraid there's no easy answer to that, dear."

You looked up at him. “How did you know I didn't want to be left alone?”

"did you forget i can read emotions?"

Ah. True. You always forgot Nightmare wasn't just any old skeleton. He was some kind of God, wasn't he? A deity of negativity. He probably read everything going on in your mind the moment it arose.

"I kinda did, yeah."

His socket crinkled at the corner. “i felt what you wanted. heh, that, and... i know your insults well enough to know your heart wasn’t in those.”

You couldn’t help but let out a tiny watery snicker, at that. He seemed to like it. 

“... Thank you." You brought your legs up to your chest, tucking closer against him. "For... for not leaving.”

He finally put his arms around you.

“of course.”

[cryptidtyping]

July Patreon Print

[cryptidtyping]

ERRORSWEEP

[cryptidtyping]

Hapoy bday undertale

[cryptidtyping]

Hey llama been going through a rough patch with recovering. Could you maybe do a lil story/head cannons on how the boys would comfort reader?

I wasn't sure which boys you meant, but I've covered the Aggre boys comforting a few times, so here's how the bad guys would comfort you when you're having a hard time.

Horror will appeal to the small, flighty animal inside you. The one that wants to be wrapped up tight, given food, hidden away somewhere safe and dark and warm and quiet. It doesn't care if it's snuggled in the arms of a bear, because that's your bear, and his breathing is deep and slow and he smells like waxy fur and dry autumn. He'll look after your little animal - he'll look after you. He'll put snacks in your hands, put a huge blanket around you, and cuddle you into his lap. You can just put your head on his chest. He struggles with many things... but comforting is not one of them.

Dust is comforting like an oversized hoodie. The kind that smells like someone you love, covering your hands and almost reaching your knees, old and pilling but the inside is still soft. He can't talk you through it, he doesn't have the words, he can't tell you it'll be okay, because how could he know? Telling you 'it'll be fine' is not his call to make. But he can sit with you while you cry, and stay no matter what. He can lay in bed next to you and threads his fingers with yours while the TV fills the silence. And if you don't mind the tickling in the back of your nose, he'll lend you any one of his hoodies you like.

Killer will chase your smile. He'll really, really try - it's not his usual 'cheering', the sharp carelessness you've come to associate with him. There's a gentleness, a pleading sincerity to him, he remembers details about you you never would've expected him to pick up. He gently broaches all the subjects he knows you're interested in to see if they'll get you chatting, he fields distracting activities like videogames and movies you love, he offers foods and drinks he knows you crave when you're lonely, anything to get you to stop frowning. Maybe it's not all the things he offers that cheer you up, in the end. Maybe it's the glimpse into just how deeply and honestly he cares. When he does finally get that smile, you'll get the reward of two pearly while eyelights staring back at you in relief.

Nightmare could be comforting to you. You'd have to give in to him completely. You'd have to trust him, close your eyes and let him in. Are you prepared for that? He won't blame you, if you aren't, he won't resent you for seeking out the others instead. But if you're willing to put your Soul in his hands... suffering is a tapestry he's intimately familiar with. He knows the importance of letting pain pass through. There's no comfort like him. The comfort of resting at the bottom of a deep ocean, the comfort of sleeping in a beast's jaws, the comfort of drifting in space. The comfort of turning everything off. The comfort of something huge and dark and unearthly holding you in its palms, and telling you it's okay to rest for a little while. You'll wake up with wet cheeks, feeling like an enormous weight has left your shoulders. And Nightmare will be eternally grateful for finally, just once, being allowed to do what he was made to do.

[cryptidtyping]

more bad sans cafe au? pretty please 🙏

Nightmare manned the front like he said :]

“Where’d Killer go?”

“he’s on a mandated break, that’s all.”

[insert pic of Killer in family guy death pose]

[cryptidtyping]

Genuinely curious, no shade

*Y/N stands for "Your Name" and is commonly used in reader-insert fanfiction, in which the reader is intended to project themselves onto the protagonist

No fourth option you choose or you lose

[cryptidtyping]

Magz entering the Den for the first time! Wonder who she’ll meet besides Snuffles? 🤔🤔

Also featuring Jaws, head of security for the club.

I hope y’all can read the text ok!