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The raid tier is really fun so far - we’re now E12S at around 30% mark prior transition - still haven’t seen enrage, though.

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Forgot to post my prog here, woops... Farmed extreme ten times; now we’re at E11S at around 30% with some deaths and two mechanics left to learn. We’ll reach E12S for sure today, once we raid in the evening. 

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Killed E9S earlier that day, already started on E10S Prog.  We will apparently farm the extreme tomorrow, however - so I guess I won’t kill E10S till thursday. We’re not hc and shc after all.  Yes, I’m still on indefinite hiatus - but. Yeah. 

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UPDATE 11/27/2020. As you guys can tell, I was not here for a while - for several reasons. I won’t name them here. There’s too many and I do not want to ramble. To make it short, to perchance name the biggest reasons, I am not comfortable in the fandom right now. And, of course, I scarcely even have time due to my school studies - but I plan to make a comeback. I did not give up on this muse, I just kind of...gave up on the fandom for the time being, I guess. And time is a lacking resource for me right now, anyway. I do not want to keep people waiting for replies, especially when I just feel negative right now - because that’s when I’m not motivated to write. I do not want to raise people’s expectations of me being around when I’m not in reality because being here is just adding on my stress level. Fortunately this is not the case for my second fandom.  I’ll probably peak in after the patch releases in 1 1/2 weeks, but keep in mind that I’m also a semi-hardcore triple-legend who will (like every raid tier) do first week clear of savage. My day will literally look like this: 13 hours school, 6 hours raiding, sleep and repeat - on top of school tests I’ll have in the progress week, as well - so do not expect me to finish the story patch in the first week. I’ll more likely not. I’m not even sure if I’ll get to it in the first two weeks before my holidays start. I might honestly crash from exhaustion - so my health will be my top priority once I cleared E12S, to be fair.  Also, over christmas my boyfriend MIGHT visit if the government is not changing plans yet again. That’s obviously two weeks of no roleplaying for me when he’s able to come. I have not seen him for a year, it’s important to me.  So yes. Consider this blog on a permanent semi-hiatus till early/mid January (I’ll have about 10 tests straight after my christmas holidays, so my activity will be fickle then as well) when I’ll do a revamp. I might honestly move to a complete new blog - we’ll see. I have not decided yet.  Even if I don’t manage to lurk or post anything till then, I might post some of my savage clears. Just as warning - considering I’ve been in the fandom for many, many years and people literally went on hate-sprees for me posting these things before. If first week clears are triggering for you, I suggest to unfollow me anyway. I’m not going to walk on eggshells on my own blog. If I’m happy about something, I’ll say so. I’m proud to be a raider, I’m proud of having all ultimates on farm. I have fun with my static and we do a lot outside of FF14.    Take care, stay safe & wear masks and have a nice christmas in case I won’t post here for a while !! To the people I love here - feel loved. I don’t forget about you guys, just come and hit me up in Discord! With love - Lynn. 

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SHB batch of HP AU

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I am getting emotional by listening to the Crystarium’s music while I run around in circles and listen to my static in voice chat.  I HAVE HEAVY FEELINGS FOR CONTENT IN THE FIRST AGAIN. Anyone interested in some plotting for 5.0-5.3-timeline? :eyes:

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protector / protectee starters

“no. you can’t go, it’s too dangerous.”

“it’s not dangerous. i’ll be fine.”

“i’m not going to let anything happen to you.” 

“you can’t keep me safe from everything.”

“just be careful.” 

“i’m always careful.”

“you’re going to get yourself hurt.”

“i won’t get hurt, i promise.”

“i won’t let them hurt you.”

“you can’t save me from this.”

“please try and stay out of trouble.”

“if anything happened to you…” 

“i’m not sure how to keep you safe.”

“i’m not going to let you out of my sight.”

“this is the only way to keep you safe.”

“you can’t keep an eye on me twenty four seven.”

“everywhere you go, i go.”

“it’s not your job to protect me.”

“it’s my job to protect you.”

“don’t worry, i’ve got you.”

“no one will hurt you as long as i’m breathing.”

“you don’t understand how dangerous this is.”

“please come back in one piece.”

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[ OPEN STARTER. – Post Patch 5.3 ]

IN THE VAST FIELD of the city-like camps of tents for the Sons of Saint Coinach who still tirelessly attempted to learn of the forgotten KNOWLEDGE of an ancient past, his very own had never stood out. Set up closer to the Crystal Tower and the shores of the Silvertear Lake than most would even dare, his tent had never been the center of their archaeological excavation – not even back in those  p r e c i o u s  days whilst he was still brooding over old SCRIPTURES and TOMES together with Cid, Biggs, Wedge and Rammbroes. O h, how many cool nights the desperation had clung to their hearts – unknowing how to achieve their goal to see the central spire’s gate opening right in front of their very eyes. How many nights had he not found any slumber with his heart loudly and excitedly throbbing inside his chest like a FLAME he could not extinguish? Dreaming too many -as he realized by now-  f o o l i s h  dreams in the middle of the day; daring to hope to learn the very truth about himself and the once  c u r s e d   crimson EYE of his.

IN THIS BODY – his  t r u e  body – with both of his souls united as one he felt more than NOSTALGIA after almost carefully, r e l u c t a n t l y  lifting his very own hand to make his way through the small tent’s opening. What he felt was true SOLACE; one moment like BALM for his once torn and  s h a t t e r e d  self. The scent of old parchment, mud and oil no longer lingered inside as no one had spent countless of nights in here for many years – and still, he so very clearly remembered it. For he had been  r e b o r n, truly – and yet for one part of himself those moments he had shared with his friends, chasing his own DESTINY, had been his ANCHOR for all this time. S l u m b e r i n g  with him, accompanying him. Every minor detail, every missing book and pile of seemingly unorganized archaeological find was still so very  p r e s e n t  in front of his inner eye – projecting itself in the tidy, almost empty space like a prism.

His own, chaotic organization had long disappeared, but the atmosphere was still the same. For some short time he had felt…this to be his HOME, even.

FEW BOXES OF UNKNOWN CONTENT were tidily placed in one corner next to the old desk he had used for the many weeks as his main study table; on top of it one envelope covered in the dust of years. The dust of those years he had slumbered, not knowing what would await him if he opened his eyes once again – i f  someone even woke him. Crimson eyes immediately recognized the slightly slobby handwriting in perfect marine blue ink – belonging to Rammbroes, his MENTOR. The man who had so very apparent never given up to once see him again – and, as far as he knew from the dark future they  a l l  had prevented, had lived to pass on his tale to the newer generations along with Cid. And for that he would be forever grateful.

CLOSING HIS EYES FOR A MOMENT, standing in the middle of the room and simply taking a deep breath, the man had to admit that he was quite touched. That he indeed felt  w e l c o m e; that it made…his RETURN easier, after leaving all those good people behind in the First. Those people who had learned to raise their voice, to break their  o w n  SHACKLES like he had once done before them. And now he had returned to the BEGINNING of it all; the remembrance of his own past and  c a g e d  self. Lost in his own ideals of justice and fate; lost in his own sorrow and fears to make the light of COURAGE shine even brighter.

LOST IN THOUGHT HE HAD NOT NOTICED that someone stood behind him, slightly tilting his head whilst his ears twitched.

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Will be back this weekend since my last test is on monday so that means freedom for a few weeks.  Please give this post a like, however, if you’re A MUTUAL and are still interested in interacting with me since I’ll do the first proper cleanup of this blog!  I’ll unfollow those who are mutuals with me right now but who no longer want to interact with me and check recent followers as well. I’ll only softblock these people, so you’re free to follow back again in case I was mistaken and you want to interact; but I solely want to have people on the dashboard who wanna have interactions with me from now on. This also means that I’ll unfortunately become private & selective as well. I still do not have unlimited amounts of time and I want to split my time only for those who truly want to write & plot! Thanks for understanding.  

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                  ABOUT G’RAHAS ‘AWAKENING’ AT THE END OF PATCH 5.3                              __________________________________ 

Introduction.

The mentioned scenario down below is how I’ll personally headcanon everything related to G’raha’s awakening. While I do not specify the Warrior of Light for this (and that part can still be slightly altered), the core of it will remain the same for everyone. I am not active on Twitter, check Tumblr-tags regularly or read many Fanfiction; but from what I have seen so far this interpretation down below differs to the general concept of what had happened during the timeskip. Which is exactly why I want to specify and mention this as meta/canon for this blog unless Square Enix will specify the events at a later point.

I will add some side information of why I believe this scenario to be the most realistic one overall – and why I think it fits better than the general concept. This of course, by no means, means that I think everyone’s else perspective is bad in any way, I’ll just not follow it for my G’raha. That’s all.

Feel free to use this information – particularly if you are roleplaying a Warrior of Light – for roleplays! It’s always nice to see that people actually read my headcanons.

The Core of my Meta: - G’raha of the Source woke up the moment the Warrior of Light opened the Dossal Gate, he was NOT sleeping when the Warrior of Light first found him again inside the Umbilicus - G’raha was given the choice to merge with his other self while he was awake and NOT in a unconsciousness/sleeping state which means he has willingly accepted it

Now to my explanations. The fandom’s general perspective is that he was slumbering inside the Syrcus Tower and then awakened by the Warrior of Light – which is definitely, let’s say, a very romantic kind of perspective which I adore as someone who heavily ships them with him. However, as sweet as this seems to be, it would contradict some scenarios we have already experienced in the game’s canon. Secondly, it always kind of rubbed me wrong to think that – like Beq Lugg had stated – merely the source’s G’raha’s soul recognized the Crystal Exarch’s memories and parts of his soul as his own.

To me it always felt wrong to burden the Source G’raha without giving him this choice – though his soul might recognize the other, I always felt his consciousness might take damage from it nonetheless; perchance knowing deep inside – hence the quick merge – of them being one, but not accepting it quickly enough. Consider that with the merge he suddenly had to bear the memories of an entire being – even if that one was himself – who had lived over one hundred years. Who has seen many unspeakable things. And although I headcanon my G’raha to be no stranger to the concept of sudden death due to his tribe’s origin, it will be a lot to swallow at once.

The G’raha we see in the final scene of the ‘party’, how I like to call it, seems to get along just fine – in fact he even states as much. And yet he mentioned something about the memories of the First – which work just fine for him, to say as much – which kind of made me ponder of how the merging truly happened. To me it simply feels very weird to see G’raha awakening as half the Crystal Exarch at him without having had the chance to accept this new circumstance; without being able to state his own opinion. Even the last short story published by Square Enix he was still given a choice – they asked him if he truly wants to be send to the First.

G’raha always had a choice.

From the moment of sealing himself away to being send to the First. He could always have went another way. Now, at the peak of his character arc – his redemption arc how I like to call it – he needs to be given such a choice as well. A choice he makes while he’s awake, not while he is sleeping. Saying as much, I consider it somewhat odd to think that he was not given such a choice this time. Which means he should be awake when he decides to accept the Crystal Exarch as himself, just by logic.

Some might say now – well, in that case he could still be asleep when the Warrior of Light arrives and be woken up by them personally and then asked whether he wants to merge or not. This is of course true, but now let’s get to my second point. The point of why I believe that G’raha was already awake when the Warrior of Light found him.

The most prominent examples would be Amon, Xande and even Unei and Doga – all of those awoke again once the entire Crystal Tower complex was awakened. No one had entered the Crystal Tower yet as well; it was the activity and the Tower’s appearance after the Calamity which made them to wake up. We can easily assume that G’raha used similar means to slumber inside the Tower; and I believe that anyone entering the Tower would result in his almost instantaneous awakening. Yes, we see the Dossal Gate closing behind the Warrior of Light again, but this might just be a defensive mechanism and not even related to its caretaker’s current condition. If any kind of activation worked for Xande, it might as well work for him as well. In the very end, it would also make very little sense if – let’s say – an intruder entered who could just straight murder his own caretaker silently.

Now some might even say again that the Warrior of Light carried the Crystal Exarch’s blood, hence the Gate recognized the Warrior of Light as him and opened for them. However, even in this case, I believe it’s unlikely that the activation of the Crystal Tower didn’t take place when it clearly did by opening up. Thus, in my humble opinion, it does not even matter. Which the Warrior of Light opening the Gate, the currently slumbering G’raha would awake by the sudden activation of the Tower.

Another important thing I want to add now is to give an idea how much time passed until the Warrior of Light finds him. I personally headcanon G’raha to be slumbering inside the Umbilicus, which is the heart of the Tower as we know from the main scenario quest. We also know, thanks to the many cutscenes in the Tower and brief mentioning, that the way to the Ocular involves many stairs and might take some time – and for those who are not used to find their way, they might even get lost. Suffice to say, the Warrior of Light can not magically reach him within just a minute. It is truly had to estimate how long it takes, but I believe about three to five minutes might be realistic here. Ultimately I also think that the Warrior of Light has a very good idea where to find him, after so many visits to the Ocular in the First and knowing of its importance – let alone the fact that the Warrior of Light themselves had conquered the place thus knowing its inside quite well already.

Which means that G’raha has a few minutes to himself – slowly coming to senses, not knowing how long he has even slept. Due to this not knowing much – and I personally headcanon the slumbering process to also affect his own body at least for a few minutes even with this advanced technology – he merely remained where he was. He had no way of knowing who he would met; and once he sees the Warrior of Light entering, he will be confused. Confused, because he knew that it was impossible – though he truly believed in his friend’s genius – to awaken him as quickly. In fact, and I’ve mentioned as much in my headcanons and drabbles already, he had always expected to awaken decades, centuries later if ever. He was prepared to die by never awakening in the first place.

Suffice to say, this moment alone will be awkward – and the atmosphere be even quite dramatic by seeing the facial expressions of the Warrior of Light after seeing him. This part can of course be altered to other people’s personal interpretations, but to me it makes the most sense (and I consider this canon for my own characters), that they all looked at him in full disbelief. That they were relieved and at the same time hurt – seeing him alive and well again, just like he had promised, but at the same time knowing this is not truly ‘him’ just yet. G’raha is – despite being an eccentric who had, according to my personal headcanon very few friendships over the course of his life – not dense. Of course not, he’s an Archon and one of the most brilliant minds. He’ll notice, and he’ll ask.

He will ask why the Warrior of Light is looking at him in such a way – because to him it still feels like less than a day when he had last seen them. And, of course, he would like to know how they managed to wake him up so quickly, already catching that just very little time could have passed since he had sealed himself away.

And I feel at this point the Warrior of Light will need to briefly explain it to him – despite G’raha still being somewhat fatigued, although it is not as bad as it is for the Scions who were separated from their bodies completely. It won’t be an easy task, this is true – but one which G’raha deserves to know and I believe it is part of the Warrior of Light’s promise to the Exarch himself. At the end of the explanation he will be given the choice to merge with his other self.

A choice given not by the Warrior of Light who is merely the messenger of such – but as final plea of the dead Crystal Exarch, the G’raha Tia of another timeline.

Of course such revelation is hard to swallow at first – and also most certainly not what G’raha would have expected to find in the moments of his awakening. But it is a given choice, this as much he understands. And truthfully, he had already accepted the moment he fell into the slumber he would accept any given fate from this point on. Whether it was to die or to live.

In my personal headcanon I imagine that G’raha also noticed that the Warrior of Light indeed wants to see his other self again – for whatever reason this might be – which makes the choice ultimately just much easier. It is not only for the one oath he had sworn to himself, but also for his friend and for everyone else who seemed to believe in his other self that he is more than willing to accept his soul as his own.

And this is how he merged with the Soul Vessel of the Exarch – inside the Umbilicius while the Warrior of Light is present.

It will not be visible – similar to the moment when Unei and Doga lend him his blood – but once the process is done and the empty soul vessel’s light silently grows dim, he’ll open his eyes again and be more than just the G’raha of the Source.

And his words will be: I am finally home.

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For the one HERO who never wanted his ANNALS to be written                         and  r e m e m b e r e d - who wanted to be  f o r g o t t e n                 by the knowledge that he had passed the TORCH OF HOPE. For the one who fought, who struggled, who lost, who  s a c r i f i c e d his HUMANITY,                  who mourned, who  d i e d  for everyone’s sake.

                                   _________________________

Live to See Tomorrow - David Chappell   ☆   Lost in the Stars - Atom Music Audio ☆ Timeline - Brand X Music  ☆    Awakening - Atom Music Audio  ☆  Bound by Purpose - Twelve Titans Music  ☆   Untold Stories - Brand X Music ☆ Freedom is not far away - Atom Music Audio   ☆    Arrow of Time - David Chappell  ☆ Forgiven - City of the Fallen  ☆   Departure - Twelve Titans Music   ☆ Codebreaker - Brand X Music   ☆   Wings of Eternity - Atom Music Audio   ☆ Pawns - Ninja Tracks   ☆ Into the Further - Atom Music Audio   ☆ Your Destiny - Atom Music Audio

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Whilst G’raha indeed has mastered many techniques to structure not only written papers but also his own research methods, most would describe his own way of organization as quite chaotic and completely incomprehensible. Albeit the man never took long to find any piece of information in the quite impressive avalanche of tomes, written and unwritten papers and pieces from archaeological excavations, his system to handle those matters remains a full mystery to anyone else. Some of his colleagues even claim merely his photographic memory indeed helps him to orient himself well enough, though G’raha always denied such remark and simply stated that he preferred to keep everything close at hand.  Even in the First, after spending one century of researching this world’s culture and other phenomena, he never got rid of this very particular way to organize. And truthfully Rammbroes, who took it as his personal responsibility to store away G’raha’s personal belongings after he sealed himself in the Crystal Tower, took several days to sort all the scattered papers in his tent which he so hastily left behind, not even knowing of his own true fate when he left it for the very last time. 

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Like this for a starter, probably set post 5.3 unless specified. Will be shortish, but you guys know my kind of short!! Might be a bit slow to write these till friday due to studying, but I’ll get there. 

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In which I want to write the TLDR down from all the written headcanons so far (also my very lengthy ones): G’raha is the perfect mix of a dominant guy who is overly protective and can and definitely will initiate physical and sexual contact with his partner (and become quite a tease as well) - but who will always be full of warmth and love, who will always be considerate and ever gentle when needed as well at the same time. 

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❝7 and 16❞ asked by @whenarrowssing​ | Vanilla Sunday Meme ( accepting )

7. Is your muse the big spoon or the little spoon?

In any kind of relationship, even with other dominant partners, G’raha will always prefer to be the big spoon. He does enjoy the give someone else the feeling of safety inside his arms – and due to his past, of everything which happened from his mother sacrificing herself for him to him striving to become an hero himself, he has always acted quite selfless. To an extent, which makes it even difficult to him to even show any weakness or vulnerability in front of others. Of course, such mask was long crumbling during the scenario of Shadowbringers, bearing his cruel fate for one entire century already - yet now that he has accepted all parts of him and begins anew he has indeed hardly changed. He still would hate to see his partner suffering; so as long as one tight embrace could help to banish such thoughts for just even a few hours, he would do just that.

To be the little spoon himself would mean to accept that he could depend on others – oh, that’s one of the lessons he is still attempting to fully comprehend after all.  The years in the First certainly had taught him much, but letting go is still difficult nonetheless. And he would certainly be reluctant to give up some of such emotional control easily – even if it is for the only person he loves.

16. Does your muse initiate heated/sexual contact, or do they wait for their partner?

Truthfully, considering how touch-starved he is and also considering the lack of experience he has in this particular field, it is a bit of both. Passionate as he is, as soon as he actually manages to voice his feelings and confess and realizes these feelings are indeed mutual, he would be quite quick to love his partner in the most intimate way. Not particularly because he is horny, but rather to express his love for them – as his father had taught him many, many years ago. Yet he would never force it on his partner; and he would be most considerate about any physical affection as well. In the very end it will not matter for him to wait even longer.

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❝9. Is your muse attracted to any features in particular?❞ asked by @makersruins​  | Vanilla Sunday Meme ( accepting )

I roleplay my G’raha as demisexual – and in the way I roleplay him he will individually decide what he finds attractive about his partner. However, in general he is very fond of facial features – not because he ever considered appearance important but rather because he will always love his partner’s eyes and lips. To him it is indeed the easiest way to attempt to read his partner’s mind and soul; and he loves to watch the emotions showing in their features when talking to him. He would also be very interested in any kind of scars his partner might bear on their skin or any other very individual feature they might have which most would consider uncommon.

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❝4, 6 and 15 for the meme pls :eyes:❞ asked by @sigun-tyr​ | Vanilla Sunday Meme ( accepting )

4. Does your muse initiate a lot of physical contact?

For all of his life G’raha has always been touch-starved – losing the mother in his early years, never having found respect among his own kin and also being shunned by most scholars later on. As eccentric as he ever has been, a misfit in more than just one way, he also never had particularly many he considered he close – let alone as friends he trusted. Thus physical affection in general is naught he was ever well familiar with; and once he finally has the opportunity to share such intimate moments with another, he will use every given chance now as Scion; perchance not as much in earlier timelines. The many years in the First made particularly his right arm to be quite sensitive to touch and he indeed loves to gently hold hands with his beloved. In quieter moments he also loves to lean his forehead against theirs or to just share one silent embrace – all for the sake of knowing that they had this moment together, no matter what the future would hold for them.

Suffice to say, considering that I roleplay him dominantly as well, he’ll initiate many of those moments – which could also possible lead to very passionate kissing. Yet he never does that in front of others – not because he is shy but because he respects boundaries and he hates to see others uncomfortable due to his actions. Ultimately, it does not change how he feels.

6. Does your muse steal clothing from their partner? This would more likely depend on his partner – given his rather small size, at least when this is about wearing these pieces. Nonetheless, especially once the relationship is established he indeed because quite a tease despite his usually by now much calmer behavior due to the merging of his souls, so he might or might not hide his partner’s clothes to just watch them desperately trying to find them. Nonetheless he would never overdo it with such actions, respecting his partner too much than to tease them every single day.  

15. Would your muse ever tempt their partner, e.g. flirting, wearing tight/sexy clothing? As mentioned in other headcanons, having zero experience with relationships he will mostly adapt to his partner’s desires and needs. Albeit he will stay quite dominant in most aspects, he will be less or more straight forward depending on his partner’s preferences. G’raha himself is nonetheless one rather passionate man – as also seen how he easily gets lost into monologues when talking about something he dearly loves – and thus he will have some difficulties holding these feelings back when the relationship is already long established. As long as he assumes his partner is completely fine with such actions – or rather knows, either by their reactions or them telling him as much – he might just tease them, he might just pin them or whisper loving words into their ears. Ultimately it will all depend on their preferences, not his own.