crystallizeandconceal-blog

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When I was a fire I turned into ice Melting off my last feverish highs And I leapt through the sunshine and into the night Singing songs of my healthiest fears

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"'Elsa, make friends' She says, 'It'll be easy.'"

"So, I've been thinking about trying out for the choir?"  

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"I've actually finished my classes for the year..."

"So, I have a lot of free time now if anyone's at all interested in spending time with me." 

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 Elsa ran a timid hand through the wisps of her bangs and nodded, "When I feel she's ready to hear it and I feel I am ready to confess, I will. I'm not sure if I want things to change between us just yet." She'd bitten her lip rather harshly, "What if she hates me for it?" 

 It was a rhetorical. She knew Hans would feed her a line similar to 'Anna could never hate you' and she didn't want to hear it because the fact of the matter was that Hans didn't know Anna. Elsa didn't know Anna. Anna was distant star to the both of them and trying to pretend either of their cruel and selfish souls understood her was arrogant at best.  

"Anna’s so lucky."

 "Mhm," Elsa was still rather hard-pressed to agree with such a statement. She still thought herself a monster and no one was lucky when they had a monster for a sister.

 She moved to get off the roof but looked back at Hans, a look of maternal concern in her eyes, "Do you plan on staying out here all night?"

Hans had thought that he and Anna could relate to one another because they both had older siblings who were cold and uncaring who seemed to push them aside. That wasn’t the case. Hans wished that his brothers ignoring him was all because they cared about him so deeply that they were just doing what they thought was in his best interest.

Hans could have taken this information and ran with it. He could have used to break Anna and Elsa further apart as he’d wanted to do such a short time ago.  What would that get him though? Other than maybe a relief from the fact that he felt a bit jealous that Anna had the caring and protective  older sibling that he’d always wanted. Hans had just experienced having the one person he thought he could lean on leave him and at this moment he had no desire to inflict that same pain on anyone, especially Anna.   He said he had committed himself to changing for the better and this was his time to prove he could do it. 

"i agree. It’s best if she hears this from you. She wouldn’t believe me anyway if I were to tell her" he shrugged lightly.

His eyes trailed down to look at his hand that was now in her”s as she spoke again his eyes focused back on her face.”I promise” he said softly and made eye contact with her,”I won’t tell Anna, or anyone else for that matter”

" I think you should talk to her as soon as you can. The sooner you two talk the sooner you can start to get closer. I had told Anna before that I thought you were hiding some reason as to why you had shut her out. I swear my intentions were nothing malicious. I had just wanted to try and encourage her to talk to you and hopefully fix everything" He had hoped that push would have helped Anna forgive him, though unlikely. He also felt like that had been the opportunity to try and be the person he had wanted in his own life to bridge the gap between him and his brothers.

"I never had a good relationship with my older brothers and no matter how angry or bitter I may be I wouldn’t hesitate to repair my relationship with one of them if they ever were open with me and wanted to let me in.  if my brothers had the same reason for ignoring me  that you did for staying away from Anna I wouldn’t be upset. I’d feel so…loved. To have someone that cares about you enough to isolate themselves because they want to protect you and they feel so overwhelmed with guilt… Anna’s so lucky."

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Open Season - High Highs

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"I- I, uhm..." Elsa's shaky hands brushed the wisps of her white-blonde hair from her forehead and she bit her lip as hard as she could.

"It's just not the right time, Anna." She sighed, "Please, you have to understand. I don't want you to-- I just need time."

Anna tilted her head a bit, is that it? That’s all she wanted to talk about? She shrugged, but then noticed Elsa’s body language.

"I’m fine, now. We worked things out and everything…. We haven’t really talked since, but he said something about the reason you shut me out? Is there something you’re not telling me? I’m your sister, you can trust me."

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Due to a friendly request, here, have an armored queen Elsa.

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"So is that why there’s so much distance between you and Anna?"

 Elsa couldn't manage a response. If she'd tried speaking it only would've come out as a gasping sob, she simply nodded. Then began taking slow breaths and wiping the tears off her cheeks, "It's best for Anna if she doesn't remember any of it."

 Suddenly, Elsa felt lighter. Part of the weight that had been boring down on her shoulders for years had been chipped away. Still, there was the part that this information was in the hands of Hans Fredikison and, although he was proving to be less of the snake that Elsa had previously took him, it was still vital information that he shouldn't have.

"Hans, you mustn't tell Anna." Her voice was shrill, still overcoming the breathlessness of her near panic attack, "I will tell her... When the time is right but, I must be the one she hears it from."

 Then with her cold and gentle palms, she took Hans' hand in her own and held it tightly. Training her blue eyes on his face and giving him a very serious, almost foreboding expression, "Promise me."

 This would be her test. If Hans could keep her promise then Elsa could trust him. Not forgive but trust.  

He was about to put his arm around her to try and comfort her but he pulled away. He wasn’t exactly that skilled or familiar with comforting people and he really feared that anything he did would make this worse. 

“I’m a monster.”

He had no idea what she’d meant by that. How could she see herself as a monster when she was seated beside the person who’d stolen Anna’s love and trust?

His face softened and his lips formed a frown as he heard the story. It wasn’t that long ago when he would have gotten some kind of enjoyment from seeing Elsa breaking like this. The  girl he saw beside him wasn’t the cold hearted girl he’d once wanted to destroy. She was hurt, she was fragile, and she’d built up walls just like he had to keep people out. 

"You were just a child. Children do reckless things. It doesn’t sound like you intended to hurt her at all. It just sounds like this was an accident" he replied softly, "So is that why there’s so much distance between you and Anna?" he hoped that his words wouldn’t upset her even further. 

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“I think the secret to great style is to have your own style. Not depend on a set of rules or steps or someone else’s guidelines to what style is for them, I think style by it’s very nature is intrinsically yours and should be based on nothing else. And I think the people with the best style do just that." - Amber Heard

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FUNERAL BELL

Oh, Father. I'm scared to live. Takes more than I've got to give. Oh, sister. My voice is weak.