csial

[csial]

[ META ] + Zhongli (not Morax, Zhongli as he is today 👀) 

I've written about this before in the following posts: one (antagonistic), two (frustrated), three (ship specific), four (technically morax)

And I pretty much stand by what I wrote in all these posts, depending on which path Osial's going down. Generally Zhongli is someone he is connected to whether he likes it or not, someone who is ahead of him always just out of reach, yet also his equal, yet also so far away from him and so very close. He's someone he sees himself as equal to but does not believe it's reciprocated, who terrifies him because he might return him to his prison, who angers him because he views him as incomprehensible, who he does not understand and is not sure if it angers him because he wants to or it is impossible.

[csial]

❛   dressed .   help  my  muse  put  on  an  article  of  clothing . (maybe handing him a robe, early days of Osial ever taking on a human form? :D from Zhongli obvs)

"I fail to see the purpose in these confounded complications of cloth." There is a hiss to his words, agitation bleeding from his surface as Osial twists at the belt about his waist and adjusts the inner robe until the sit of it feels at least somewhat comfortable. It has been an ordeal to simply acquire this many layers and as he turns and looks over his shoulder, he sees that he is being handed another layer, an outer robe or coat, something that encases him further. He is beginning to regret the decision to see what interest these mortal ants bring to Morax and the rest of the Assembly.

"Why do you insist on immersing within their village, can we not just stop on the fringes then this..." he gestures to the fabric and the form, "...would be unnecessary." Despite his grumblings, he does slip an arm clumsily through the opening of the robe being held out to him, the other through the opposite side and slide in till it sits upon his shoulders, feeling the gentle warmth of hands in the fabric until they fall away. He huffs smoothing the fabric and twisting, instantly getting the trailing ends caught in low-hanging branches and hisses sharply as it pulls uncomfortably, hissing at the sensation.

"Why must this be so difficult?!"

[csial]

'angry water worm' neuvi is lucky that osial is rather fond of him djkfhdskh

[csial]

CSIAL. Overlord of the Vortex. That Which Lies in the Deep. A mutuals only portrayal of OSIAL from G.ENSHIN I.MPACT. Portrayed by Charlie [ they/them  |  UK  |  32 ] ♡ or ↺ if you're interested in interacting.

DOSSIER. || VERSES.

[csial]

‘I have no need to forgive you. you cannot offend me.’ (cheating and sending this one here too, from neuvillette)

There is silence in the wake of the words that leave the sovereign's lips bar the wash of the waves that folds against his ankles, the gentle shift a reminder of all that has been divulged. Eyes cast down to their linked hands, head bowed in deference perhaps, grip loosening on instinct though not yet letting go entirely.

The second apology sits on his tongue but he swallows it for he has been told his words bear no offence, that his apologies are unnecessary. He ought know this; truly do they not wear each other's tokens and share this connection of fingers entwined? Has it not all but been said without words when they share these moments of time together? Yet it is hard for him to fathom, to consider that the sudden divulgence of all his emotions at once was not somewhat intense for Neuvillette and this is why the apology jumped forth without hesitation.

There is something different after all in taking that small step into the waters and allowing the vastness of his emotions to be seen by he who knows all emotion and memory. To feel the depths beneath the surface, to know the ferocity of what existed there. He had forgotten himself in their wanders, teased about diving into the depths and swimming together as they have done in the past, and let his foot dip into the water without remembering that doing so would render him little more than glass and expose Neuvillette to all that he does not say.

Now his heart thumps in his chest, the apology blurted off his tongue in an instant in hope that he has not overwhelmed Neuvillette with how much he feels, how deep his emotions run. He is not used to giving so much so quickly, but it has been done now and he cannot undo it. Instead he lifts his gaze again, swallowing once more and boldly lays his free hand upon Neuvillette's cheek.

"Nothing changes that you do not want to..." he insists, before anything more can be said. There is a deep need there to have that known, to have it spoken plain. At the same time, he studies Neuvillette's visage, chasing any reaction to the depths of his emotions, the weight of his affection, selfishly, and hoping he does not see panic. "It is there, and now you know it, you have seen it all. But there is no need for obligations to act upon it if you do not want to."

Amusingly, he contradicts himself in the little pep talks he has shared with his sovereign, one who insists that if something is wanted it should be taken, that if there is something to be changed it ought be, sitting instead on all this feeling and allowing a natural course to be followed, but there is reason in his actions. Perhaps the most reason he has reached for in a long time.

"It is there and has been for some time. It can remain unsaid for as long as you need. I ask nothing more of you than this." His hand squeezes, tightening that grip of joined fingers again, his hand slipping from Neuvillette's cheek to curl around the pendant that sits about his own neck. He's waited so many years to find some sort of direction in this world, to be free of his prisons, to feel a sense of peace, he is not inclined to rush Neuvillette either to find the same page. Some things are worth the wait.

[csial]

↪   𝑩𝑼𝑹𝒀 𝑴𝑬 𝑾𝑯𝑶𝑳𝑬 .    (  a  collection  of  lyric  starters  from  the  band  dead poet society .  feel  free  to  adjust  phrasing  as  necessary .  )

i  know  you  said  you’re  busy  at  the  moment ,  but  i  think  you’re  lying .

i  want  you  to  give  me  a  reason  to  leave .

you  don’t  get  it ,  do  you ?

you  use  me  when  you  need  a  hit .

what's  it  cost  for  a  minute  of  your  heart  and  soul ?

my  state  of  mind’s  been  steadily  dropping .

might  as  well  just  hold  my  tongue ,  it’s  nothing  you  would  understand .

i  don’t  really  know  myself .

thoughts  of  you  are  racing  in  my  mind .

oh ,  you  had  me  for  a  moment .

you  took  it  out  on  me  when  it  got  hard .

i  know  you’re  mocking  my  name .

i  don’t  understand  why  i’m  so  afraid  of  who  i  am .

i’m  done .  i’m  leaving .

no ,  you  don’t  care  anyways .

take  me  home .

if  this  isn’t  love ,  then  i’ll  stop  now .

take  your  coat ,  don’t  get  cold .

you  never  loved  me .  you  didn’t  want  me .

give  me  something  real .

god ,  it  feels  like  i’ve  been  here  before .

i  feel  like  we’re  drifting  apart .

i  never  loved  myself  like  i  love  you .

maybe  you  could  help  me .

i  heard  your  friends  say  that  you  think  you're  better  off .

you’ll  never  understand .

i’ve  got  enough  friends .

i’m  finding  it  harder  to  fit  in .

why  are  you  afraid  to  die ?

it’s  nothing  you  would  understand .

god  help  you ,  darling .

tonight  it’s  hard  for  me  to  care .

can  you  swear  i’ll  be  yours ?

baby ,  it’s  too  late  to  talk .

you  say  that  you  love  me  but  you  never  could .

there's  nothing  more  that  i'd  like  than  to  be  yours  for  life .

i  don’t  wanna  go  out  tonight .

i  thought  that  i  could  trust  you .

i’m  leaving  you  cause  the  pain  isn’t  worth  it .

don’t  pretend  to  love  me  when  you’re  feeling  alone .

run  your  mouth  like  you  do  so  well ,  you  did  this  to  yourself .

i  love  you .  don’t  ask  why ,  it’s  just  because  i  do .

i  know  you’re  mine .

you  feel  so  lovely  when  you  touch  me .

you  don’t  wanna  change .

i’ll  say  the  words  and  you’ll  listen .

you  don’t  love  me .

who  am  i  to  hold  you  back ?

i  need  to  know  the  truth .

why’d  you  have  to  say  it ?

i’m  running  out  of  time .

the  self - loathing  comes  and  goes .

fighting  is  doing  no  good .

fuck  it ,  just  drive .

have  you  been  here  before ?

no ,  you  think  i’m  fucking  lazy .

baby ,  i  swear  i  tried .

i’m  dying  to  see  you  again .

i’m  finding  it  harder  to  feel  brave .

don't  make  me  feel  like  i  did  this  all  wrong .

something  in  your  eyes  just  gives  it  away .

it’s  only  in  my  head ,  but  it’s  not  gonna  change .

hit  me  up  anytime  you  want .

maybe  you  could  show  me  another  way  out .

we  should  go  before  i  change  my  mind .

i  know  you’ve  seen  it  but  you’re  not  replying .

fuck  you ,  anyways .

who  am  i  to  hold  you  back  from  finding  someone  who  can  love  you  like  that ?

tell  me  what  the  fuck  you’ve  done ,  i’ll  wait .

i’d  rather  stay  here  and  wait .

i  think  i  might  slip  away .

i’m  so  scared  that  all  of  my  worst  fears  have  followed  me  out  here .

i  swear  it’s  all  about  to  change .

tell  me  it’s  hard  being  you .

i  know  i’m  sounding  crazy .

oh  god ,  i  need  a  change  of  pace .

i’ve  got  enough  friends ,  nobody  else  needs  to  know  my  name .

i  don’t  think  you  realize  just  what  you  do  to  me .

i  can’t  help  but  overanalyze .

you  think  you  can  demand  respect ?

i’m  mad  at  myself .

you  did  this  to  yourself .

i  know  you’re  probably  over  it ,  but  i’m  not  there  at  all .

i  really  wanna  get  away  for  the  weekend .

i’m  tired  and  i’m  fucked  up .

you  don’t  know  what  i’m  feeling .

standing  here ,  i  know  i’m  home .

[csial]

quotes that broke me starters

feel free to adjust pronouns / names as needed !

quotes taken from random sources or tiktok. i claim no ownership whatsoever.

❛   i’m supposed to be the one who protects you from monsters. i’m not supposed to be one.  ❜  

❛   if i could make a deal with god, and i’d get him to swap our places.  ❜  

❛  no one heard our screams for a long time.  ❜  

❛   i know so many last words. but i’ll never know hers.  ❜  

❛   there is a home for every departed thing.  ❜  

❛   it reminded me that i will never truly know you.  ❜  

❛   i also buried a part of myself alongside them.  ❜  

❛   after you died i could no longer hold a funeral. so my life became the funeral.  ❜  

❛   you don’t have to be awake to cry.  ❜  

❛   forgive me, for all the things i did. but mostly the things i didn’t do.  ❜  

❛   the human eye is the loneliest creation of all.  ❜  

❛   fairness is for happy people.  ❜  

❛   the things we lost will always be heavier than the things that stayed.  ❜  

❛   perhaps it is the greater grief, to remain on the earth when another is gone.  ❜  

❛   you stain the pages with yourself.  ❜  

❛   tears will not wash away the sorrow.  ❜  

❛   beautiful things grow a certain height and then they fall and fade off.  ❜  

❛    who in all these centuries has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?  ❜  

❛   i have scars on my hands from touching certain people  ❜  

❛   despite everything, i believe that people are really good at heart.  ❜  

❛   you tried to change, didn’t you?  ❜

❛   you can’t make homes out of people. someone should have taught you that.  ❜  

❛   i hid my deepest feelings so well, i forgot where i placed them.  ❜  

❛   we have no scar to show for happiness. we learn so little from peace.  ❜  

❛   i didn’t leave because i stopped loving you. i left because the longer i stayed, the less i loved myself.  ❜  

❛   at every moment in our life, we have one foot in a fairytale & the other in the abyss.  ❜  

❛   there are too many sad eyes on happy faces.  ❜  

❛   it’s strange, i felt less lonely when i didn’t know you.  ❜  

❛   things change, friends leave. life doesn’t stop for anybody.  ❜  

❛   it takes a lifetime to die, and no time at all.  ❜  

❛   i am deathly afraid of almosts. of coming close to what i want and then falling just a little short.  ❜  

❛   i felt your absence.  ❜  

❛   what do we do now, now that we are happy?  ❜  

❛    you honestly thought anybody would love you? purely and truly love you?  ❜  

❛   don’t stop looking. he deserves to know someone saw his end, that someone noticed him.  ❜  

❛    i can bear my pain so long as it has meaning.  ❜  

❛   i dont have a single friend - not one.  ❜  

❛   i’ve had more than enough pain in my life, what’s a little more going to do?  ❜  

❛    it would have been you if i met you first.  ❜  

❛    i really thought he was going to be my forever.  ❜  

❛    maybe in the next life it would work.  ❜  

❛   in spite of everything, you’re still you.  ❜  

❛   the dead have it easy.  ❜  

❛   there’s an ocean of silence between us, and I’m drowning.    ❜  

❛   there have been countless times in my life when i thought i’d be better off dead.  ❜  

❛   what on earth… have i become?  ❜  

❛   don’t look at me! i don’t … i don’t want you seeing me like this.  ❜  

❛   i wish i could’ve been like you.  ❜  

❛   your fate was sweeping you away, like a flood.  ❜  

❛   the future should know the mistakes we made.  ❜  

❛   of course you have. you feel guilt. you want redemption.  ❜  

❛   i’m here because you can’t accept what you’ve done. it broke you.  ❜  

❛   even now, after all you’ve done, you can still go home.  lucky you . ❜  

❛   you’re all that’s left, and we can’t live this lie forever.  ❜  

❛    prometheus gave us light, and warmth, and eternal damnation.  ❜  

❛   take a gamble that love exists, and do a loving act.  ❜  

❛    i know i ruined your life. i suffer for it every day.  ❜  

❛   don’t let yourself get killed for… for pride. i’ve seen it kill too many folk.  ❜  

❛    you and me, we ain’t decent… but those folk… they were.  ❜  

❛   we’re more ghosts than people.  ❜  

❛   despite my best efforts to the contrary… it turns out i’ve won.  ❜  

❛   i gave you all i had … i did.  ❜  

❛   this whole time, I’ve blamed myself for that decision.  ❜  

❛   do you think even the worst person can change…? That everybody can be a good person, if they just try? ❜  

❛   i don’t want to break their hearts all over again. it’s better if they never see me.  ❜  

❛   please leave me alone. i can’t come back. i just … can’t, okay?  ❜  

❛   no matter the struggles or hardships you faced… you strived to do the right thing, you refused to hurt anyone. ❜  

❛    people like you don’t ever want to be happy.  ❜  

❛   i don’t want to let go. i’m not ready to say goodbye yet.  ❜  

[csial]

WISHLIST: INTERACTIONS.

This is just a list of specific character interactions that might be interesting to explore when it comes to Osial.

NINGGUANG. This is more specifically for the Qianfan verse, but a random new antique appraiser turns up, spending time with Zhongli and has no real history to speak of? Alarm bells are ringing. I personally think it would be interesting to see how Ningguang observes, and perhaps later delves into it.

CHILDE / TARTAGLIA. I have a verse where Osial survives by taking a host. Now I think Childe is the most likely candidate as he's someone who is a hydro user and seeks greater power. I'd be up for trying this with any hydro user though - Ayato? Yelan? Alternatively with Tartaglia its the the god you tried to resurrect survived and now he's pissed you thought you could command him vibes.

ZHONGLI. All the dynamics with Zhongli. I want to explore best case scenario where Osial settles, but also worst case scenario where Osial is actively attempting to ruin Liyue only he's gotten better at it and more sneaky and is teaming up with the Harbingers. Or other powers. And the in between too where Osial doesn't know what way he's going to go.

MORAX. This is specifically tied to my Hydro Archon post. I would love to explore the Osial wins ending, because of the way he keeps Morax imprisoned. I think it would be neat to pick apart that dynamic, for Osial to still be losing even though he's winning. I also always want to explore what their dynamic was like before Celestia.

GUIZHONG / AZHDAHA / THE YAKSHA / ADEPTI etc. Basically the same premise as above, but how they cope with the idea that Osial won. How their dynamics interact and develop over time. Also generally anything past era and how they were before Celestia messed things up.

YELAN. Similar to the Ningguang one except Ningguang's handed over the responsibility for working out just who the stranger in town is. Work out what his motivations are and what he plans.

[csial]

has redrawn my Osial

[csial]

@csial said: [ fix ] sender gently fixes receiver's hair ( neuvilliette )

"How does this look? I tried to follow your instructions and remember how the people were wearing it on the streets, but it is quite different from Fontainian fashion." But of course, for all the Iudex's worries about failing to appropriately don traditional Liyuen clothing, the attire is as impeccably put on as if he had already worn it a million times before. His attention to detail had committed it all to memory, and meticulous fingers had worked every fold of blue and white silk and linen until all had fallen perfectly into place. Surely no one would think of blaming him for his perfectionism, however: it will, after all, be his first official participation in the festivities, and the company he will be keeping deserves the respect demonstrated by wearing the hanfu appropriately.

But it does seem Osial has little criticism indeed, for it is not to his clothes that his hands rise, but to his hair; prompting the dragon of water to look up and seek cerulean eyes that are entirely focused on adjusting the sovereign's coiffure, adjusted to local custom for the occasion. And Neuvillette would have to call himself blind, if he said he did not notice the little, subtly mischievous smile hinted at the corner of his companion's lips. Ah. He is having fun with this, isn't he. "I will take this as a confirmation I do not need to change again. Or is it that the result is so poorly to your taste that you would rather fiddle with my hairpin instead?" It is rare for the Iudex to tease - and if accused, he shall blame it on Osial's influence. There is no other in this upended world capable of stirring the pride and confidence of a sovereign claiming his due.

That, and Neuvillette always takes great pleasure in hearing the low, subtle chuckle such reactions never seem to fail to elicit in his old, faithful, tempestuous companion.

Osial's hand has fixed the hairpin in its place, but makes little haste to move away from strands of snow white hair - and Neuvillette does nothing to shake him away. The pendant Osial had gifted him on his chosen day sits upon his chest, glistening in the light of the myriad of lanterns beginning to rise in the skies of Liyue. Today, it is his turn to offer him a gift of equal sentimental value in return. "I believe it is your chosen day, today. Clever of you to choose a day of celebration. And of course, I did not come to your nation for the occasion empty-handed." From the folds of his attire, Neuvillette pulls a small wooden box, engraved with nacre. Inside rests a pendant, similar to the one Osial had gifted him, but the material is different. It sings a song of the sea, one that only beings such as they could ever hope to hear; one very particular sea, a few droplets of the primordial sea condensed and crystallised into this present. A small fraction of the heart of Fontaine, of Teyvat; of the original god of life who had once ruled over all waters when now stood before him in the guise of a man.

In the language of a sovereign, there could be no more eloquent gift, either.

But that is not all; the sovereign's hand rises, fingertips grazing at Osial's temple, and an image forms in their minds both, image and sensation alike; a current, flowing freely in the depths of Fontaine's waters. And, under the sovereign's command, something in the water changes - a connection established, an authority granted. Osial may have no domain in Fontaine like he does in Liyue, but from now on, this part of his kingdom will be his to claim. Tied to his being and soul, for as long as he will accept it. "Many happy returns, o Overlord of the Vortex." Neuvillette smiles, hand lingering at the side of his companion's face. "Now, let us go and enjoy your first true Lantern Rite... and see what you may find to grumble about in the ways the humans orchestrate their celebrations."

[csial]

i have two things to reply to here but unfortunately my brain is clinging onto the waking world by a mere thread so osial gets the actual birthday moments tomorrow. In the mean time i'm thinking about Osial experiencing lantern rite for the first time

[csial]

BIRTHDAY.

It takes Osial some time to decide upon in his birthday in his newly given life, but eventually he decides to choose the time of Lantern Rite. For his Qianfan guise and to an extent his Haitao guise, this is about him starting again, having a new beginning. For the scenario in which he chooses vengeance (see dossier), in which he goes by Xiyang, it is more about needing a date and plucking the first stand out one on the calendar. So Osial's birthday will be the 29th January in accordance with Chinese New Year this year.

[csial]

" burn his favorite palace down. " Sem to Osial ( fxtuii ) :3

There is the curl of his lip into something twisted at the sound of that odious cat, serpentine heads slithering from beneath his braid as skin dyes a vivid shade of blue. It had been long enough he had begun to hope to a miniscule degree that perhaps his drowning had finally bore fruition, that the creature's return pass to the living had finally been severed, and yet it was not to be.

Eventually he turns to gaze upon the other, his expression showing his derision clear, and he scoffs. "He has not palaces nor guilded halls, and were it something I would enact, my choice of method would be to drown them." Evidently. Why would he call to fire when his element was its opposite?

[csial]

❛ everything that defines me is nothing that i am. ❜ (slaps a human-shaped dragon having an identity crisis on osial's desk)

"No?" Osial drags his gaze away from the streets below and the bustle of humanity to look across at his companion at his desk, buried as he always is in the chains of his responsibilities, forged of his own making yet present all the same. Instead it comes to settle upon the sovereign his gaze one of unfathomable depths, studying for something unseen before it clears with a shift of the head to the side, the movement fluid. "Are you not the Iudex of Fontaine? The Sovereign of these waters? The one capable of bestowing power to those children of hydro you choose to offer a boon?"

He slips across the room like a lazily rolling wave, coming to rest at the edge of Neuvillette's desk. Audacious fingers stretch across to pluck the pen from his hand, casting it aside with little regard, weaving between until his grip is clasped. A tug will encourage Neuvillette from his seat, to return with him to the window, to the sight of the crowds and in the distance the deep blue. "Is this not all yours? Your kingdom as sovereign? Does that court room you hold not speak of your authority? Do the waves we dance in not bow to your whim?"

He raises their joint hands till they sit within their periphery and adapts his vessel letting skin stain blue and white markings surface till the skin itself is but a transparent hue for the rolling blue beneath. He does not hold it long, returning his arm to the blue stain and then the hue of the sands of Guyun. "We hide to adapt but we are still what we are. Am I any less a being of hydro because I take human form and play at the mortal life? Am I still but the monster that razed Liyue alone because the tale lingers upon Liyuen's tongue?"

He turns then, ceasing his direct questions that pierce the veil of questioning posed before him, so that their gazes meet once more, ancient eyes shining with a determination not so easily roused though for what he does not say. "All that defines you is but part of who you are. And if you wish for something other, seize it. You of all people have more than the right to take, have given enough to justify the want. Do not waste time in lamenting or chasing something that you are not. I spent too many years on that path."

Rare is it that he admits aloud so brazenly that perhaps, chasing the archon title of Liyue had been a mistake all along, but to Neuvillette he can admit his folly.

[csial]

BIRTHDAY.

It takes Osial some time to decide upon in his birthday in his newly given life, but eventually he decides to choose the time of Lantern Rite. For his Qianfan guise and to an extent his Haitao guise, this is about him starting again, having a new beginning. For the scenario in which he chooses vengeance (see dossier), in which he goes by Xiyang, it is more about needing a date and plucking the first stand out one on the calendar. So Osial's birthday will be the 29th January in accordance with Chinese New Year this year.

[csial]

YOU CAN BARELY TAKE MUCH MORE .

a collection of sentence starters taken from the warning's album 'queen of the murder scene' . edited to fit rp needs , adjust pronouns as necessary , note that there are spanish sentences ! warnings for darker themes ,

❛ come on in , walk this way , ❜

❛ in the end , everything just turns back into dust , ❜

❛ we shall start again , ❜

❛ where are you going ? ❜

❛ i don't seek right or wrong , ❜

❛ i seek the truth found in death , ❜

❛ is it something that is worth losing ? ❜

❛ la salvación es algo que se gana , ❜

❛ i don't know what it is that you do , ❜

❛ i know love shows in mysterious ways , ❜

❛ my screaming makes no sound , ❜

❛ i can't always be there to stop all the bleeding , ❜

❛ there's more to it than just wishing to be found , ❜

❛ you are my fantasy , ❜

❛ you bemuse my soul , ❜

❛ i am afraid to see what's become of me , ❜

❛ i just want to hold your hand , ❜

❛ time won't take the pain away , ❜

❛ i'll do anything to make it happen , ❜

❛ tell me your secrets , what are you hiding ? ❜

❛ please understand that i am not lying , ❜

❛ my heart is true , & it beats for you , ❜

❛ what is it i need to change for you to love me back ? ❜

❛ was it something i said ? ❜

❛ i want to kill all the love that's for you so only mine remains , ❜

❛ hold me like you really love me , tell me that you do , ❜

❛ i'm obsessed with what we both could be , ❜

❛ yes , or no , whichever , i'll have you someday , i'll have you forever . ❜

❛ why don't you know that you are mine ? ❜

❛ i want you to love me , to touch me , ❜

❛ tell me what i must do to atone for what i did to your soul , ❜

❛ don't reject the darkness that is in your eyes , ❜

❛ i'll show you what it means to be so devoted , ❜

❛ you have nothing left but this body you control , ❜

❛ have you quenched the hunger that was still dormant inside ? ❜

❛ you will never get to walk away from all the horrors , ❜

❛ you're an innocent sinner , a guilty saint above us all , ❜

❛ you'll never live until you die , ❜

❛ i'm plucking roses but keeping the thorns , ❜

❛ i found out that dull knives cut better , ❜

❛ you don't want to understand what it's like to have blood on your hands , ❜

❛ i can't be controlled by anything , but let's see you try , ❜

❛ give me something worth living for , ❜

❛ my sanity's gone & my morals are wrong , ❜

❛ better drop that gun while you still have a chance , ❜

❛ be proud of your pride & the things that you hide , ❜

❛ after this , there'll be nothing to feel anymore , ❜

❛ i'll be there to pull you under , ❜

❛ you can't escape your fate , ❜

❛ you went through hell , you'll go through it again , ❜

❛ there's no escape , ❜

❛ i know it was wrong , but there's nothing to be done , ❜

❛ i won't forgive myself because pity doesn't help anymore , ❜

❛ with bloodstained hands , i make amends , ❜

❛ it's a little too late to start over again , ❜

❛ the memories haunt me every night when i'm lying in bed , ❜

❛ oh what have i done ? ❜

[csial]

in the night, your loneliness crushes you, as if the sky itself has swooped down to smother you in its cold arms. for the first time since i can remember, i don’t feel alone. because of you. (two in one, from neuvillette)

The feeling of loneliness is one of the greatest tragedies one can bear. He remembers it well, sweeping him into a cold embrace as he languished beneath the depths, held in place yet unable to reach any at all, restricted as he was by the spears of Morax and his waning powers. The vice it held upon his heart had been agonising, festering and it was only the embers of anger that had allowed him to simmer in outrage rather than tumble down into despair, though the notion often dragged icy fingertips beneath his chin.

So as the hydro sovereign claims a similar feeling, Osial cannot help but allow his hand to find Neuvillette's own digits curling unbidden until there is no space between their palms nor their fingers, his thumb tracing tenderly against soft skin.

"Were it within my power I would wash away all sense of isolation from your very frame until your heart only knew the joys of companionship," he offers quietly, glad that in their shared quietude here in the open there is no cause to be restrictive with words, nor too cautious with gesture. Within the confines of the city he must heed caution, restrain the impulse to offer comfort when the other's brow furrows, a feat that grows more impossible by the day with how his heart swells, emotion coming in waves, begging for a little more each time.

It is a terrifying feeling, the way his affection fills him, it takes all his effort to not allow it to brim over. Should he touch the waters here, he fears that he would overwhelm the sovereign with what lies beneath his still surface. Like the ocean itself he encompasses far more than bleeds through, far more even that that which seeps through the cracks unbidden.

"I am glad that now, in the very least, I can offer you a reprieve from loneliness' cold touch." His thumb stills against Neuvillette's hand, but he makes no effort to detach, simply staring down at their joined hands, lost in his own thoughts. Wondering if perhaps he had been smarter, better, stronger, he might have been have been able to do more sooner to ease the sovereign's isolation. It is a cruel world to wander alone.

Impulse coaxes him then, raising their joint hands until he can press lips to a gloved knuckle in a sworn oath, a promise to himself and to Neuvillette, that he will no longer allow loneliness to take a hold of them. He need not voice it allowed, it is there on his lips as his lids descend over his cerulean hues briefly, there in the look he gives the other as his lids rise once more.

"Together we can stave off the cold embrace and ease the burden of the skies, for your company is the greatest gift you have given me... It is only right I should attempt to do the same."