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[cthulhuhoopz-blog]

Know Your Worth

Long post ahead.

I know I'm hard to really get to know and I don't make a habit of trying to make new friends. But when I do, I always get the same stupid shit from people who have become accustomed to treating others like shit simply because they've been allowed to do so in the past. I am here to say that I know my worth. I don't care what you think my worth is because it has nothing to do with you. My worth is about me. You can't compromise what I feel about myself and the price I set for my friendship. If you feel like the price of my friendship is too high, we arent friends and I'm ok with that. Do you know how many "friends" I've lost over the years due to piddly shit? I always get over it. Life. Goes. On. The price of my friendship isn't blind loyalty and devotion. It isn't money, time, or gifts. I'm really not high maintenance, but people expect certain things from their friends that I'm just not willing to cut corners on.

The price of my friendship/reasons why I'm a terrible choice of friend

1. I have kids. They are my world. My life revolves around them. Not in the #cherisheverymoment way, but in the #isspendmostofmytimeintheircompanyspendallofmymoneyonthemteachthemfeedthemclothethementertainthem kind of way and it's exhausting. If you need a friend to constantly cater to your ego or talk to all day, every day, I'm not the one. I can't deal with that type of friendship, and honestly, I don't want to. If you're important to me, I'll take time out of my days to spend time with you in whatever way I can, even if only a quick online conversation or text. But I can't and won't #cherisheverymoment with you. Last minute plans are a no go, due to having kids. If you think, for a even minute, that I can uproot my life for a last minute play date with you, you are so fucked off. I have to schedule things in advance. I have another 16 years of this, so get used to it. No, I'm not bringing my kids with me to a bar, the movies, a game night, or some other shit where they have to be quiet, not touch shit, or be perfect little angels. Get fucked.

2. Conversations are two way streets. Whether you want to talk about your day or just rant, go for it. But if you finally show interest in my life by asking me "how it's going" or "what is up", then can't handle it because it's not about you, fuck off. If that is part of your price for friendship, I won't pay it. If I want to sit back and listen to people go on and on and on about themselves with no interest in me, I'd be a therapist or work in retail.

3. I'm honest, I'm loud, I don't care what others think of me, and I'm not trying to please anyone. This is who I am and I'm not changing anything about myself to make someone else happy. I like who I am. I won't expect you to change who you are. If I don't like you or your habits, I won't deal with you. If I reeeeeally like you, I might give you a couple of stupid passes. Use them wisely because they are limited. Treat me like shit or like I'm incapable of rational thought and I'll fuck off SO fast.

4. My memory is shit. I barely remember my age most of the time. So if you need someone to remember birthdays, anniversaries, and special events, fuck off because I'm not your girl. If you need me to remember something, you'll probably need to remind me several times. It's not something I can change with coconut oil or or crystal healing. It's a part of who I am. If you need someone to remember every detail about you for the rest of you life, you're barking up the wrong tree.

5. I'm poor. I don't have the money to go out and splurge. I can't hop a flight to Vegas for a weekend and party with you, I can't go on cruises, to concerts, or sudden road trips. Sometimes, I don't even have the money to go out and eat somewhere with you. If that is the kind of friendship you need from me, move along. You won't find it here.

It isn't wrong to expect a certain level of treatment from others. You don't have to put up with stupid shit to have friends. There are people out there who will love you just the way you are. Set your price high and don't compromise that shit. If you aren't willing to pay the price of someone else's friendship, leave it. Let them find people who can see the worth they place on themselves or let them be friendless. But you aren't obligated to settle for the value others place on you or to put your time and effort into a friendship with a person you don't value.