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Okay, but start tagging your own portrait elements

Details I would ask my artist to include in my portrait to communicate the glorious wealth and bounty of mine noble estate

XXL Costco pack of toilet paper, still sealed to demonstrate that the need was not desperate

Dresser in the background with top two drawers both just a little open to show that overflowing piles of clean socks and underwear prevent it from closing all the way

An open container of raspberries, the fastest-moulding of the expensive luxury fruits, showing that I purchased fresh produce recently and at full price for no special occasion

The walls are painted a vibrant colour and covered in hanging art, showing that I have the legal freedom to modify my own living space and may even own property

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Wooooahdude I just found this out but you're heirloom tomatoes actually. Did you know this

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sure you made these two characters fuck nasty but tell me: are they codependent?

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Does anyone wanna pitch in and buy a 14,556 bedroom 3 bathroom house wiht me

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“Thicc deer isn’t real; it can’t hurt you.”

This thing: ^^

Eland antelope By: M. Levy From: Wild, Wild World of Animals: Wild Herds 1977

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I'm convinced Mythbusters needs a reboot. Misinformation or mythinformation if you will, is at an all time high. We NEED the show that promotes critical thinking to come back. It doesn't need the same cast, in fact I think it would be better with some fresh faces. Imagine all the good it would do if you could just show your crazy uncle the Mythbusters reboot episode that debunks his anti-vaxx conspiracy in an easily digestible and entertaining format.

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in absolute tears about the pride module at my work

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I can be your cloth barista

Or your wire barista.

coffee shop by my house hired a new barista who is extraordinarily hot and flirts with me incessantly but she also makes the worst - and i truly mean the worst - coffee i’ve ever paid for. atrociously bad. just another of god’s little jokes

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Strange aeons was teaching a class about cat food. I remember most of the class remarkably well, but the one line that will not leave my mind is “ham is a type of domesticated politician that we hunt for sport”.

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Wait, shit, I meant nuance.

No, because they are generally solitary and competitive rather than bound by a subservient social contract. Also they are carnivorous and leave clutches of eggs stained with their own ink. Neither subservient nor cleanly.

Kinda yes, primarily because it’s funny, but because they can be force-fit in the femboy-cat-maid phenomenon. Males will disguise themselves as females to outwit other aggressive males during mating. Femboy-maid cuttlefish trying to convince the bigboi that it’s down to court.

Look, the fundamental problem is that "maids" is not a monophyletic group. There is no coherent taxonomic definition which both includes everything that's traditionally considered a maid and excludes everything that isn't. If we want to construct "maids" as a proper clade descended from a common ancestor, then either mimes are a kind of maid, or housekeeping robots aren't – those are our only options.

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the year is 2025

scientists are still scrambling to figure out what “zigazig ahh” is so that they can give the spice girls what they really really want

the spice girls are getting impatient

war is upon us

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Shooting crystal spikes while remaining supernaturally calm?? I’m now a shonen protagonist with deadly glitter

You've been randomly selected by the government to fight space aliens. Spin this wheel twice to see the two weird/niche superpowers assigned to you!

Interpret your results any way you like!

Inspiration from @miggylol

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Guess I’m gonna put more panache in being me? Which checks out, I guess

what if your url somehow had something to do with your future

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