culinaryinspirednocturnalvisions

[culinaryinspirednocturnalvisions]

The Illusion of Belonging and the Betrayal of the Bladder.

The dream began with an unsettling jolt. I found myself in a sprawling, three-story house, a hub of vibrant, boisterous activity. Everyone was Black, and a strange, almost primal feeling washed over me. I'd just discovered I was part of this family, this culture, and I was eager to belong. I dove headfirst into the scene, mimicking slang, even using the most taboo words, desperate to prove my connection.

But my enthusiasm was met with cold rejection. 'Nigga, you ain't family,' they'd sneer, their voices laced with mockery and menace. 'Get the fuck outta here.' I was incredulous. 'I am your family!' I insisted, my voice rising. But their threats escalated, a chilling promise of violence.

'If you're gonna threaten me,' I retorted, a surge of adrenaline coursing through me, 'then I'll threaten you right back. You are my family!' I brandished a gun, a desperate attempt to assert control. They drew their own weapons, their eyes filled with contempt. 'This fool's crazy,' one of them muttered. I pulled the trigger, but instead of a bang, a pathetic squirt of water erupted from the barrel. The room exploded with laughter, a wave of ridicule washing over me.

Then, a sudden, surreal shift. The laughter dissolved into tears, the hostility into embraces. 'You really are family,' they sobbed, their voices thick with emotion. The relief was overwhelming.

The emotional rollercoaster hadn't ended however, I now had the urgent need to use the restroom. 'Can a brother use the restroom?' I asked, the urgency in my voice undeniable. I began my quest. The first floor was a maze of occupied stalls, the second floor no better. Finally, on the third floor, I found it: a sanctuary. The bathroom was magnificent, a haven of pristine elegance. Gleaming tiles, shimmering silk curtains, and a spotless porcelain toilet beckoned. Relief washed over me.

With a sigh of pure bliss, I unzipped my pants, closed my eyes, and let loose. It was the most glorious, cathartic pee of my life.

Then, the abrupt, jarring awakening. My heart pounded, my body trembling. I was soaked. I had peed the bed. A wave of panic washed over me. 'Fuck!' I yelled, ripping the sheets off the bed, my dogs staring at me with bewildered expressions. I frantically unzipped the mattress cover, praying the urine hadn't seeped through. Luckily, the cover had done its job.

I stripped the bed, tossing the wet sheets and blankets into the washing machine. I stood there, shivering, my red t-shirt and underwear soaked, a mixture of embarrassment and disbelief swirling within me. I jumped into the shower, the hot water a small comfort. Then, I made the calls: first to my wife, then to my best friend at work, confessing my humiliating mishap. It was around 9:00 AM, a jarring start to my day off, considering I work the night shift. So, instead of returning to a peaceful sleep, I spent the rest of the day on the couch, the lingering image of that magnificent bathroom a cruel reminder of my watery demise.

2/24/25 - Monday

[culinaryinspirednocturnalvisions]

The Dunk of Doom: A Dream of Hoops and Hilarity"

2/21/25 - Thursday

During my 1 hour and 27-minute nap after eating sushi—specifically from 2:37 PM to 4:12 PM—I had one of the weirdest dreams ever.

I found myself in a massive basketball stadium, but this wasn’t just any court. There was a pool right by the hoop, and in front of it, a small trampoline. The objective? Players would run, jump on the trampoline, attempt a dunk, and ideally land in the pool. But things did not go as planned.

I watched as one player after another completely miscalculated their jumps. Some fell short and smacked onto the floor. Others overshot and landed awkwardly in the pool. And then there were the truly unlucky ones—those who missed everything and just crashed onto the ground between the pool and the hoop. Every time it happened, I laughed uncontrollably.

Then came the final contestant—a young Asian man. He sprinted, leaped off the trampoline, but instead of making the dunk or landing in the pool, he launched way past the hoop. He slammed into the wall with a sickening thud and then—somehow—slipped through a human-sized crack between the floor and the wall, disappearing into the lower level of the arena.

The entire stadium gasped in horror. It was as if time stood still. People rushed downstairs, fearing the worst. When they found him, he was alive but struggling to get up, clearly in pain. His ribs were fractured, and he needed help walking.

Just as I was processing the insanity of what I’d witnessed, I woke up to a phone call.

The End.

[culinaryinspirednocturnalvisions]

Hiking with my wife and taking nude pics of her while people in background a weird houe on the trail with a weird man warning us that there are no cameras on the trail and be careful with the river don't be in the river it's getting dark Vanessa sister and a friend are her friend our with us we cross a bridge it's dark a man that looks sus is with us about 9 other people cross a bridge with us heavily dense in trees in plants we walk into a small house at end of bridge looking crowded looking for animals life wild animals life Vanessa blocks my view with her head to be funny and little sisters block my view as well they laugh. I laugh we walk out together but I exit through a back door and step on ground I'm not supposed to I am warned by a man who is my uncle Richard in surprised he works here he's lost weight and is skinny. He says don't step on the dirty because I'm stepping on preserved land I go around spot Vanessa but not her friend or sister. I yell for them and I don't see them I look for them in a panic i turn around uncle is smiling on a weird way. I go back to the little house on the bridge it's like a patio there a door on th left a sliding door open it their is a whole on the ground I look at my uncle he is smiling intell her where are they he smiles like a the devil I jump on him and chock him and tell him he's. It my uccle he keeps smiling while I demand answers like they devil when I choke him the hole lights up and I hear screams for help from the hole that sound like Vanessa's sister and friend eh says go down the whole and get them terriemfied I wonder if I should go in where is vanesa I don't see her anymore where is she is she ther to? I wake up

[culinaryinspirednocturnalvisions]

Dream Series 02 – Date: 1/28/2022

The Dream:

Today, I received a text message from my supervisor. He asked if I could come in at midnight instead of my regular time to reduce overtime, and I agreed.

I went to sleep for about an hour before waking up at approximately 10:15 pm. Like most of my dreams, they’re triggered by eating something just before bed. This time, I had something sweet.

I felt like my dream was stuck in a loop, replaying over and over but slightly different each time.

I dreamt I was at the liquor store near my house. Outside the store, there was a white man standing, waiting at the entrance. As I approached, his face started to change—it became more menacing, psychotic even. He began to resemble the Joker, or some twisted version of him. His face was painted white, and he had that unnerving, exaggerated grin.

When I reached the entrance, he turned away from me. But as soon as I opened the door, he spun back around, this time holding a knife. He lunged at me, trying to stab me.

My memory of the dream fades a bit after waking, but I clearly remember being on the floor, struggling with him, grabbing his arms to stop him from stabbing me again and again. It felt like I was reliving this nightmare repeatedly.

The End. That’s my dream! Suck it!

[culinaryinspirednocturnalvisions]

Blackmail.

Dream Series 01 – 1/14/2023 at 8:45pm

I woke up to get ready for work.

As you may know, I work the night shift, and I usually take a 30-minute to 1-hour nap before heading in. Sometimes, before sleeping, I eat, and that’s when I tend to have the most intense dreams.

The Dream:

I dreamt I was in a foreign country—Russia, I believe—and my sister had been in a terrible accident. I’m not sure what kind of accident it was, but she was severely injured. It felt so real; I could see her lying in a hospital bed, wearing a white gown, her head swollen and bruised all over with large bumps. Family members surrounded her, all in tears, trying to comfort her. I was crying too, hoping for the best. She was awake and aware, but confused.

Suddenly, the dream shifted. I found myself walking into what I thought was a liquor store, but it turned out to be a brothel. Several women surrounded me, undressing me, taking inappropriate pictures. They threatened to show the photos to my wife, blackmailing me for money I didn’t have. I was panicked and distraught, screaming for help, hoping someone would find me and save me.

My wife says I talk in my sleep sometimes, and occasionally she wakes me up in the middle of these dreams. But this time, she didn’t wake me, though she said I was moaning and groaning in my sleep. In the dream, she appeared out of nowhere, coming to rescue me, but then she, too, was attacked by the women. They threatened both of us, saying that if we didn’t sleep with them, they would kill us.

Conveniently, the Alexa alarm went off, and I woke up.

I immediately told my wife about the dream, assuring her that I would never cheat on her, especially not with prostitutes! I told her I would rather die than cheat on her. As Puss in Boots says: "Hasta la muerte!"

She responded, “Oh no, survival of the fittest—I want to live! We’re going to live, and if that means we have to sleep with them, then so be it.”

Gah damn.

The End.

I hope you enjoyed my terrible storytelling. My grammar and punctuation are lacking, but I figure the more I write, the better I’ll get. Although, I’m not too sure about that. I’ll also take up reading more books—my wife has a few, and I’ll start with hers.