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I know it's like ohh Bowser is such a mid tier dilf so unoriginal but its that he's a king and also an underdog. regal and also deeply goofy. and I'd really like it if he were to pin me down and shove his

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a collection of some mildly deranged horny shit i've posted so far this year. just cause.

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the woke left has disavowed engagement rings and is now proposing with cock rings instead

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would it be weird to buy someone a collar and tag. as like a friend. like 'i know you really enjoy this so i got it for you'

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"there's something wrong with me" ❌❌❌❌

"being a pervert is awesome and rules and makes me more correct more sexy and more morally pure than non perverts" ✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅

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why does it feel like every "big" porn artist online learned anatomy exclusively from other porn artists, creating some sort of grotesque game of Emaciated Hot Person With Exaggerated Gender-Appropriate Features Telephone

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if i don't fuck this girl senseless i think i might die

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Source

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putting on the strap but not to fuck anybody i just don't have a dick to have hard on the butt when i'm spooning someone otherwise

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literally if i had a girl to lay on top of me with her head on my chest so i can kiss her every now and then while i laid on the couch like i am right now it would be so over. both for everyone else because my life would be the best and there would be no competition and for me becauase of all the blod rushing to my boaner so i die

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get high and jerk off you will never regret getting high and jerking off

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i love like, pseudosex

erotic vampire bites, magic ritual that feels Very Good to participants, multi-person fusion, mind-meld, sexy mitosis, consensual mindfuck, love-hivemind, being tfed into something or other, that sort of stuff

its hot

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no it isn't! put this man in lace panties now!

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disclaimer: objectification and making someone into furniture doesn’t really make my brain engage all too much.

However

A little sex/bdsm party?

someone wants to be tied up? The subbiest member of the group? But everyone is playing monopoly or something and can’t focus on them? Now, hear me out here.

charcuterie board.

Tie them down, bind them so they’re immobile and can’t move and even if they squirm it’s futilely. use them as a charcuterie board. Cover their tummy in meats and cheeses and jams and fruits.

tease them with light touches and soft rubs all evening. Brush your hands up and down their helpless body. Let them watch as they’re used as a table you can tease.

maybe they’re getting comfy, maybe that’s what you want? Them to rest and sleep? Or maybe they need to stay awake, stay focused and on edge. So you can tie a vibrator to them. Of course they do need to stay still enough, with the help of their bondage, to not make a mess. But they’re very good and obedient.

eventually the game is over, the snacks are done, and the real party can begin. And they’ve been getting more and more desperate this whole time. Now it’s just a matter of who lets them find release first.

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my singular talent is beating my meat so hard and so often for so long that i kill literally every electric sex toy i buy in [checks] three years or less

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if i could lay eggs i wouldn't be scared of sex any more it'd be so awesome it immediately cures my ptsd because i can lay eggs. this is why we should have fetish bio mods because it would solve the mental health crisis for sure

literally the second that biomodding becomes a thing we need to start pushing for fetish mods. like instantly. We should start pushing for fetish centered bio mods like right now