cupid-barks

[cupid-barks]

drew this as part of my “wuv-you webby” AU! you can find the synopsis below the cut <3

❗️repost as my old blog @snigglette got nuked — may it rest in peperony and chease

the queen in white has been a thorn in the sides of the lords in black since long before the earth held a title. their sister ( a title that tasted acidic on the mouths of the lords in black as well as the queen in white herself ), webina, was a nuisance at best and a iconoclast at worst. she was the only one not to adhere to their rules and visions. where they brought chaos, she brought peace. the kind of peace that she extended to those with a touch of the gift. the kind of peace that could permanently remove them from existence like graphite on paper.

the kind of peace that needed to be dealt with.

and deal with it they shall.

wiggog barked orders like a rabid dog, and wilbur cross followed them obediently.

wilbur slammed a sheet of paper down on the table of employees at the factory responsible for producing uncle wiley toys and goods. with a crisp green apple in one hand, he used the other to slam the pad of his finger against the sketch, the newest in the uncle wiley doll line. a plump and friendly plush spider, with eight limbs and eyes. he demanded a prototype of both the plush and the box it would be held in, a demand that didn’t need to be repeated, for the employees scrambled like mad ants to comply.

in mere days, they had it.

a vessel made of cotton and minky. a prison of fleece and embroidered stitch work.

webina was easy to fool, her naive heart yearned to believe her siblings when they invited her to speak about a truce, when they had offered opened arms as invitation to her.

irony held a wicked sense of humor, and it clutched its belly and laughed and laughed as the spider herself became trapped in a web woven to ensnare her & ensure her demise.

using their joint powers, the lords in black separated webina from her true form, trapping her essence in the prison of cotton and fleece. a prison that meant she could no longer be a thorn in their side. a prison that meant no further communications with those who have a touch of the gift — those that could put an end once and for all they had on their christmas list.

but webina should not go unpunished, wiggog decided. for this was not punishment enough, no. this fleece and fabric was the jail cell but not the sentence. and so, he ordered wilbur cross to have her delivered to toy zone, along with the various other stock in the uncle wiley toy line. schadenfreude seeped into the syllables of their words like spilled wine in white carpet as they giggled and snickered over how the infamous toy zone customer sherman young would be sure to purchase ‘wuv - you webby’, delighting in the what ifs and could be’s.

‘oh, what a delightful early birthday present,’ wiggog had happily hummed as he held the plush in his hands, before tossing it against wilbur’s chest with the demand he ‘see to it.’

webina fought with all her might to escape. she wasn’t able to free herself, though her efforts had caused the once pristine box she was encased in to become damaged with torn edges, creased corners and dented plastic. something that went unnoticed by wilbur, who figured the sounds were nothing more than the infamous potholes that every michigan road held & who hadn’t thought to open the cargo box to check on the state of the doll.

frank pricely, however, noticed it the moment he caught sight of it between the cardboard flaps.

as he opened the stock and removed the damaged box, he all but recoiled. it would be an insult to the reputation toy zone had built to place this damaged product on one of their prestigious shelves.

and so he phoned the manager for uncle wiley toys — though he was unable to get said manager, so he instead was met with a customer service rep — a prepubescent sounding boy whose voice crackled like pop rocks. phone in one hand and box in the other, frank barked his outrage that he had been delivered damaged goods and requested a refund.

‘uh sir, we have no transaction for a wuv you webby listed on our records sir, so we can’t issue a refund sir.’

frank hung up on him, shoving his phone into his pocket. he didn’t know what he was to do. he supposed he could offer it at a discount, but toy zone had a reputation to uphold! maybe he could —

‘frank?’

frank raised his gaze from the damaged box to look into the eyes of his best employee, lex foster. ( though he wouldn’t ever tell her that, he couldn’t let it go to her head! )

‘what?’ he asked exasperatedly.

‘is there any extra overtime i can do? i’ve been trying to save to get hannah something for christmas, but the fridge had some issues and every damn thing i had in that damned christmas budget had to go that damn fridge,’ she huffed and then closed her eyes tight and took a breath, trying to calm herself. ‘look, whatever it is i can do, i’ll do it. please, frank, i can’t bear the thought of telling hannah that santa was too busy to drop by the trailer again this year.’

frank pricely, a man who views ‘a christmas carol’ as a cautionary tale, looked from lex’s desperate face to the damaged box in his hands. the foster family’s financial situation & home life was no secret in a small town who loved to gossip. ‘here,’ he said as he placed the box in lex’s hands. ‘the box is damaged, but the plush inside it seems pristine. give it to hannah, and i’ll see what i can do about some overtime,’ he said to a jaw-dropped lex.

and for the first time in forever, the dead pine they used as a christmas tree held a couple presents beneath it — and hannah’s favorite was her new ‘wuv - you webby doll’.

little did the lords in black know that their plans of separating webby from those with a ‘touch of the gift’ had placed her in the hands of two with the gift, not merely a touch of it. two sisters who, together, may be powerful enough to take them all down.

[cupid-barks]

she cannot escape she cannot come out... hannah

[cupid-barks]

they want uppies 🙌

[cupid-barks]

it’s bring your eldritch god to school day

[cupid-barks]

The lack of blinkies in this fandom saddens me so I made these

I'm not the best at it

[cupid-barks]

I love the bifrost incident (2017), an album by british band the mechanisms retelling the norse myth of ragnarok with added inspiration from cthulu mythos, featuring jonathan sims as jonny d'ville as inspector second class lyfrassir edda new midgard transport police, rachel l. hughes as raphaella la cognizi as odin, tim ledsam as gunpowder tim as loki, kofi young as marius von raum as thor, and frank voss as ashes o'reilly as sigyn

[cupid-barks]

me holding a gun to a mushroom: tell me the name of god you fungal piece of shit

mushroom: can you feel your heart burning? can you feel the struggle within? the fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. you cannot kill me in a way that matters

me cocking the gun, tears streaming down my face: I’M NOT FUCKING SCARED OF YOU

[cupid-barks]

a comic thats lived in my brain ever since i first listened to GPTvsTMK

[cupid-barks]

If PJ has no fans then presume I am gone from this world

There is untapped Nightmare Time episode potential that lies in a Marty & Doc-esque mentorship between this nerdy prude and Hatchetfield College's kooky biology professor. She's chosen for a summer internship and the results are apocalypse-inducing. But hey if they manage to save the town then it'll make for one hell of a college essay

[cupid-barks]

#5

wiggog y'wrath

[cupid-barks]

listening to Alice and im convinced this is what that teaparty looked like

[cupid-barks]

STOP CENSORING SUBTITLES/TRANSCRIPTS/CLOSED CAPTIONS

LET DEAF AND NEURODIVERGENT PEOPLE READ “FUCK”

[cupid-barks]

I got my book back for the poetry place and it’s gorgeous

I love it so much!

[cupid-barks]

This is what you’ll see in your nightmares. Time to lotion up beholding boy.

[cupid-barks]

if you played animal jam as a kid you’re a furry and/ or therian now oh and prolly trans

[cupid-barks]

I did a redraw of a drawing I did a while back with Tinky. The only way to immobilize a stinky goat is with the cone of shame.