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[curatingworship]

NEW WORK ACCEPTED INTO ARTISTS OF RUBBER CITY JURIED EXHIBITION - inspired by If These Trees Could Talk's "Trail of Whispering Giants" and Jim Jarmusch's "Only Lovers Left Alive"

I have a brand-new painting that will be on display at Summit Artspace in downtown Akron, Ohio from April 5 – June 15. The piece was accepted into this year’s Artists of Rubber City Juried Art Exhibition and it is entitled:

It’s There that We Found More Than was Lost (Faintly Like a Whisper, Familiar Like Her Ungloved Hand)

This painting has a special meaning to me as it gave me an opportunity to create an artwork that was highly influenced by some of my favorite creative people (musicians/artists who also happen to have ties to Northeast Ohio). Our geographical connection was highlighted by the fact that this juried art show is curated by Akron’s own Artists of Rubber City collective.

As I gathered ideas and research for this piece, two key inspirations really stood out: a brand-new song I’ve been crushing called “Trail of Whispering Giants,” by an amazing band named If These Trees Could Talk, and a hauntingly beautiful film I adore called “Only Lovers Left Alive,” by an amazing film maker named Jim Jarmusch. So, the process of creating this painting held a lot of significance for me as it allowed me to spend a lot of time with one of my favorite bands and with my favorite film maker and my all-time favorite film.

If These Trees Could Talk is an amazing post-rock band whose music resonates deeply with me.

When I heard their new song, I instantly knew that I was going to create an artwork inspired by it at some point in my life. I’ve written about that sense before, because sometimes the right song (or movie) hits you and you just know that you must create an artwork in response to it.

One of the band members, Zach, said in an interview that their music could be described as a “non-lyrical exploration of emotion.” I like that. I think that abstract expressionist painting is very similar in that the artist can use color and texture and the elements of art to attempt to explore emotional concepts in an abstract and non-lyrical way. And while my work happens to also focus specifically on using words and language as art, the core of every painting I make is rooted in my non-lyrical abstract expressionist style.

So, for this project, I put “Trail of Whispering Giants,” on a loop and listened to it while I did most of the major work on this painting. The song informed and shaped a large portion of what the viewer experiences on the canvas. I got to see If These Trees Could Talk play this song live at Musica in downtown Akron during the time I was working on this piece. That more intimate experience of “Trail of Whispering Giants,” added a further dimension to my connection with the song and the way I was able to interpret it in my artwork.

I have a whole page in my art journal where I broke “Trail of Whispering Giants down into what I heard and felt were the different voices, themes, emotions, and movements discovered within the 8 minute duration of the work. The band employs 3 guitars, bass and drums, so there is a lot of complexity and nuanced layering of ideas at work in this song. I tried to capture those ideas in my painting, and as such, the viewer should discover a variety of ideas including wrestling with the dissonant tension of liminal spaces, the crushing weight of despair, the faint voice of hope, the loneliness of absence (or near silence), and what I felt was an overwhelming call to keep pushing forward through it all.

The second main inspiration for this painting is my all-time favorite film, “Only Lovers Left Alive."

A few years ago, I created a short film called “Only the Dead Survive Winter in Providence (High Places are Getting Harder to Find)” that was highly influenced by Jim Jarmusch’s vampire film, and I couldn’t help but explore his work one more time here in this painting.

I focused specifically on one scene from the movie (which happens to be my favorite scene in a movie), where the two main characters have a very intimate moment that revolves around a wooden bullet, an old 45” record, and dancing. It’s a scene that reveals so many raw and honest ideas about juxtaposed themes like suffering/despair/loss and hope/perseverance/love. And it does this in a way that just connected with me in a deep way and spoke into my own decades long struggle with chronic physical pain and the reality that my body is quite broken.

I wrote down a key moment of dialogue from this scene and revisited it often as I painted. Eve says to Adam:

“How can you have lived for so long and still not get it? This self-obsession, it’s a waste of living…that could be spent on…surviving things, appreciating nature, nurturing kindness and friendship…And dancing. (a long beat) You have been pretty lucky in love though, if I may say so.”

I also kind of kept coming back to this one interview I found where Jarmusch said that Adam and Eve’s vampiric state can serve as “a metaphor for the fragility of humans.” I thought that was powerful and an accurate portrayal of how I felt about the film and perhaps why it’s so important to me as an artist, but also just as a person trying to find beauty and hope amidst the painful parts of my life.

I loved the color palette in the film and especially in this scene. As such, I used some still frames from the scene to inform the color palette of my painting – the stencil graffiti I created of the two flowers represents Eve and Adam and reflects the colors they wore in that scene (Adam had teal-ish hospital scrubs, and Eve wore a robe that had warm reds and golds in it). The core color of the painting kind of was taken from the sofa in the room.

The first part of the title of my painting comes from a line in an E.E. Cummings poem named “When Faces Called Flowers Float Out of the Ground.” The second part of the title is my nod to the song and the film that inspired my painting.

One of my favorite quotes Jarmusch said (and I print it and put it on all my art journals) is:

“Nothing is original. Steal from anywhere that resonates with inspiration or fuels your imagination. Devour old films, new films, music, books, paintings, photographs, poems, dreams, conversations…Select only things to steal from that speak directly to your soul. If you do this, your work (and theft) will be authentic. Authenticity is invaluable; originality is non-existent. And don’t bother concealing your thievery—celebrate it if you feel like it. In any case, always remember what Jean-Luc Godard said: ‘It’s not where you take things from—it’s where you take them to.’” - Jim Jarmusch

I also wrote down some responses that Tilda Swinton offered in a few interviews she did promoting Only Lovers Left Alive, and this kind of matches up nicely with Jarmusch’s words:

“All artists certainly need each other…this film is about wearing your heroes on your sleeve.” - Tilda Swinton

All that to say, this painting was influenced by two of my creative heroes and I’m proud of this piece and I cherish the process of creating it, because it allowed me to spend a lot of time with them. This is my interpretation of their work—exploring what it means to me, but also how the song and the movie can reflect off my story and then echo back to others in a way that might help them find meaningful moments in their own stories too.

I always try and create little nods to the people that influenced or inspired my work, sometimes in obvious ways and sometimes a little more hidden (My films “Coffee with Ruth” and “Only the Dead Survive Winter in Providence” celebrate the fact that Jarmusch has shaped so much of my sense as a film maker).

I wrote this in my last post, but it seems worth repeating here as well…I pushed all of my reference material through my personal struggle with chronic pain (which has for better or worse been well documented in my artwork and my writing over these long years).

Pain has made her home with me, and I’m trying to find ways to make our relationship meaningful.

Below you can read my official details for the upcoming Artists of Rubber City Juried Art Exhibition (opening Friday, April 5th in downtown Akron), including my Artist Statement about the painting.

Artists of Rubber City Juried Exhibition

Forum Gallery - Summit Artspace, Akron, Ohio

Juror: Adriana Caso, Director and Founder of Door 2 Art Studio in Hudson, Ohio.

Artist Statement: 

It’s There that We Found More Than was Lost (Faintly Like a Whisper, Familiar Like Her Ungloved Hand) is an abstract expressionist work with particular focus on using words and language as art.

My work is heavily influenced and inspired by music and If These Trees Could Talk’s new song, “Trail of Whispering Giants” served as my primary inspiration and source material for the overall emotional quality of this painting. The song is a complex and beautiful 8-minute instrumental work that, provokes feelings of despair, hope, and especially the discomforting tension of waiting in liminal spaces.

This painting is also inspired by my favorite scene in my favorite movie, “Only Lovers Left Alive.” Jim Jarmusch describes the vampiric state of the two main characters in his film as a metaphor for the fragility of humans. The specific scene I explored is one of the darkest and brightest moments in the film, where the heavy weight of despair a character carries is countered with the brief light of hope that the other character offers/symbolizes. Many of the color choices in this painting reflect the color palette of that scene.

The song and the film scene were pushed through my own long endless struggle with chronic physical pain, and my own search for buoyant hope amidst a sea of relentless heartache.

The title comes from a poem by E.E. Cummings and a nod to the song and film that inspired my painting.

This work also contains lyrical thoughts by the band mewithoutYou.

Artwork Title:  It’s There that We Found More Than was Lost (Faintly Like a Whisper, Familiar Like Her Ungloved Hand)

Medium:  Acrylic, Crayon, and Hand-cut Stencil Graffiti on Canvas

Dimensions:  30” x 40”

Thanks to Juror, Adriana Caso, for selecting my work to be included in this show. It is an honor.

Thanks to If These Trees Could Talk and Jim Jarmusch (and Tilda Swinton and Tom Hiddleston) for making art and music that is authentic and that carries a special significance in my life and my own journey as a creative.

[curatingworship]

NEW WORK ACCEPTED INTO 20th ANNUAL JURIED FRESH ART EXHIBITION - inspired by Tina Boonstra's "Proof of Life"

I was surprised when I received an email from Summit Artspace revealing that my latest artwork was accepted into this year’s prestigious Fresh Art Exhibition. It is entitled:

To Bear Our Sorrow with Greater Assurance than Our Joy (I’m Gonna Find You in the End)

Long story short, I had a major short film I was working on until midnight each night for several weeks for a work deadline, which left me with the hours between midnight and 4 a.m. to work on a painting to submit for this year’s show. It was really exciting and triggered some art school memories doing the late late night creating again…but when you’re old like me, the late night fun does lose it’s shine a bit.

So, the process of creating this artwork was very condensed and more chaotic than what I’m used to. I went in knowing that my primary inspiration was going to be my pal Tina Boonstra’s song “Proof of Life.”

I also pulled together some thoughts from a scholarly book I am reading by Fleming Rutledge on the Crucifixion of Jesus, as well as some research which somehow landed me on ideas from two different Rainer Maria’s (weird, I know).

I was really taken by this poem written by Rainer Maria Rilke called “Pushing Through,” which I will include below. I also loved the poetry in a song by one of my favorite bands, Rainer Maria, called “Catastrophe.” And finally, I found a couple profound thoughts in Letter No. 8 from Rainer Maria Rilke’s “Letters to a Young Poet,” that found their way into the painting too.

The actual title of my painting comes from a line in Rainer Maria Rilke’s Letter No. 8 and a line from Rainer Maria’s song “Catastrophe.”

I pushed all of this reference material through my personal struggle with chronic pain (which has for better or worse been well documented in my artwork and my writing over these long and "crooked years"…like an old faithful record that just keeps on spinning, and spinning…playing that same old song).

It’s funny though, as there are so many nuances and themes that can be discovered inside a single  story of sadness, or sorrow, or pain, or loss. And this journey into my sadness happened to focus on a particular idea that Fleming Rutledge talks about a lot, how our humanness often pushes us to view the world through a “boundless optimism (that leads to a) chipper avoidance of the tragic.” Rutledge goes on to kind of marry this with the assessment that “we [modern Christians] have very little understanding of the ‘not-yet’ dimension of the Christian life.”

As I pushed those ideas through Tina’s lyrics, and Rainer Maria Rilke’s poem/prose, a primary concept that emerged was the (hidden) value of sadness to usher in newness. That kind of served as the main theme behind my artwork.

To intentionally engage in a search for newness is not an easy act when we’re neck deep in grief and the loneliness of our pain…but, I think it does make me a little braver when I think about my sadness and my pain holding some potential for significance…whether I’m ready to look for it or not.

In her song, Tina writes, “all this in the middle counts (as proof of life).” This chorus line comes after verses that lay out a battle between what one “knows” to be true (faith and confident expectation for newness in the future) and what one knows to be true (the actual present experience of pain and the sadness of life). And so, this painting explores the dark reality of pain and sorrow and how it feels when that’s what life brings, while also maintaining that there is a reason for holding onto hope when the data says there is none. It's in this grey and in-between space that life seems to leave us in very often, so it's important to have artwork and music and poetry that inspires us to live in the middle well...to make it count.

One of the reasons that I hold out hope in the midst of my personal hell is a belief that Hope does search for us too…sometimes whispering so quietly that I have to be really present to notice Her presence...sometimes in a book, or a movie, or an old friend's words, or maybe a song...

My best buddy Tim Meier and I made a short film in which the main character says that when sadness comes, we don’t need to hear another pop song. I love Tina Boonstra’s work as a song writer, because she gets that and isn’t afraid to create music and poetry shaped by that perspective. I’m inspired by Tina’s storytelling which contains portrayals of pain and loss and doubt, while also finding quiet, and perhaps slightly hidden ways of encouraging and challenging us to realize that “there will be days after these days, after these lonely days.” I think it’s really powerful when an artist discovers that the complaint is just as important as the confession of faith when creating art about pain and suffering and loneliness.

Special thanks to Tina Boonstra for writing such a beautiful song that holds such meaning to me. On a personal note, I’m really proud of Tina’s growth as a musician and writer over the years and I can’t wait to hear and see what her calling as a creative will bring next. So, cheers to you T. It’s really weird thinking about how an artist pursuing her dreams and voice can create artworks that travel across an ocean to inspire and shape another artist’s dreams and voice.

I also read an article during the making of this painting by Dr. Madison Pierce entitled “Hope in the High Priest: Hebrews 4:14-16.” Coincidentally, Pierce happens to suffer with a life of chronic pain too (her description of the dread she faces walking down stairs resonates deeply, and that’s an actual line in a short film I made that was a story about me and my relationship with my personified Pain).

Anyhow, in her piece, she offered a glimpse into that struggle and why sometimes prayers for healing fall differently upon the heart of someone who battles daily for a long long time with chronic physical pain…and why we often just “need prayer and hope for where we [are right now].”

It's like Tina said, all this in the middle counts…

So, I took some notes from the article in my art journal and some of those thoughts are also contained in this painting. One thing that Dr. Pierce wrote that stood out was this: “Jesus’ mercy is in His complete understanding of our pain, not only in His ability to solve it.” I’ve preached sermons on this concept before and part of my work as an artist/pastor is asking the question of how we can push through pain with a trust that is fully convinced/confident that suffering will end, while also living a life that is fully offered to God with completely open hands even when the end does not come? Perhaps comfort (and maybe a little bravery) comes from knowing Christ's compassion and ability to lead us on the downward path is anchored by experience...

The Old Testament routinely presents a theological and practical key to dealing with hard times—namely to bring that suffering into relationship with God. That sounds simple, but it's really a profound leap of faith to do this...let it alone to do it well.

Scholar Walter Brueggemann encourages people of faith to, “practice [our] pain with candor and fidelity.”

So, I attempt to follow that advice and voice both the rawness of my anguish and the beauty of my hope in my art and in my life of chronic pain too. The voiced grief is just as important as the voiced trust…both matter to God and both matter to us. Complaints and confessions of faith both have a place within the context of covenant relationship (and in our artwork too for that matter!).

Brueggemann also writes that our “laments are an antidote to suffering,” and I think that's at the heart of many of the paintings that I have made.

As such, this painting explores the dual possibility of being really really sad and really really full of joy as we journey through the problem of pain. One thing I’ve learned is that my faith often has much to do with maintaining a balance between tensions and juxtaposed ideas about life and death, while kind of treading water (or perhaps drowning) in liminal space. I think one thing that keeps me going is that I know that a very unique and special beauty is found only in that particular place…a place where dying to oneself can somehow lead us to find newness and life…a place that Jesus knows well…and a place that we will find Him there, walking (or crawling) along with us. Perhaps that’s where much of the joy comes from – discovering Christ’s steadfast presence when we’re filled with sorrow…not always to take it away, and yet always to bear it with us. To Bear Our Sorrow with Greater Assurance than Our Joy (I’m Gonna Find You in the End).

“Pushing Through” by Rainer Maria Rilke It’s possible I am pushing through solid rock in flintlike layers, as the ore lies, alone; I am such a long way in I see no way through, and no space: everything is close to my face, and everything close to my face is stone. I don’t have much knowledge yet in grief so this massive darkness makes me small. You be the master: make yourself fierce, break in: then Your great transforming will happen to me, and my great grief cry will happen to You.

Below you can read my official details for the upcoming Fresh Art Exhibition (opening today Friday, January 12th in downtown Akron), including my Artist Statement about the painting.

20th Annual FRESH Juried Exhibition

Betty And Howard Taylor Main Gallery – Summit Artspace, Akron, Ohio

Juried by Pita Brooks, mixed media artist and Executive Director of Akron Soul Train, the annual FRESH exhibition challenges local artists to push the boundaries of what art can be—stylistically, conceptually, and technically—and challenges the viewer to see the world through a new lens.

Artist Statement: 

To Bear Our Sorrow with Greater Assurance than Our Joy (I’m Gonna Find You in the End) is a visual and emotional response to Tina Boonstra’s song “Proof of Life”. Stylistically, it is an abstract expressionist work influenced by street art and with particular attention to using words and language as art. Thematically, this piece is an exploration of the human tendency to happily avoid the tragic—a habit that often keeps hidden the value of sadness to produce something new in us.

My work is heavily influenced and inspired by music and Boonstra’s song “Proof of Life” served as my primary inspiration and source material for this piece. The artwork also includes moments of reflection based on the poem “Pushing Through,” by Rainer Maria Rilke.

My hope is that this painting like most of my artwork reveals some of the intimate chapters in my story (one that is rooted in many long years of chronic pain). It’s also intended to provide a thoughtful response to Tina Boonstra’s song and lyrics, which overlap thematically with my battle with daily physical pain and my attempts to always hold on to hope.

This work was also influenced by the song “Catastrophe,” by the band Rainer Maria, as well as some lyrical thoughts by the band mewithoutYou. 

Artwork Title:  To Bear Our Sorrow with Greater Assurance than Our Joy (I’m Gonna Find You in the End) 

Medium:  Acrylic and Crayon on Canvas

Dimensions:  30” x 40”

I also wanted to add Juror, Pita Brooks', statement about the show my painting will be featured in:

I was thrilled to serve as the FRESH Exhibition Juror for Summit Artspace. Selecting this year’s artwork was made enjoyable due to the coordinated efforts of Summit Artspace staff, to them I say thank you – and to all of the contributing artists, for putting your work out there, allowing me the opportunity to learn more about each and every one of you. The FRESH Exhibition resonates deeply with Akron Soul Train’s commitment to experimentation and creative expression, and that’s what I appreciate about this show. I find myself drawn to art that is thought-provoking, embraces innovation, and pushes the boundaries of materials or processes. Artists possess an incredible knack for viewing the world and presenting their ideas or stories in a format that can be accessible and also intriguing.  I believe that art fosters curiosity, urging us to dive beneath the surface to truly comprehend the visual messages artists are attempting to convey. Art has the capacity to be engaging and participatory, as well as reflective. In the process of selecting work for this exhibition, my emphasis was on exploring experimentation and creativity, examining the relationship between materials and content, and considering the effective presentation of ideas. Additionally, I examined artists’ statements and websites to assess how these works might be pushing the boundaries of their current artistic approaches.   Certainly, it goes without saying that this exhibition is truly FRESH! It boasts exceptional diversity, both in terms of media and the content being presented, and I’m delighted to see how this show has come together. Pita Brooks - Executive Director, Akron Soul Train

[curatingworship]

NEW ARTWORK INSPIRED BY RYVOLI - ACCEPTED INTO THE 2023 JURIED FRESH ART EXHIBITION

I have a new painting the was officially accepted into this year’s annual Fresh Art Exhibition at Summit Artspace in Downtown Akron. It was a true honor to be selected by juror Michael Gill, the Executive Director, Founder, and Editor of Collective Arts Network (CAN) Journal. My accepted artwork is titled:

Wasting Away in the Best of Times (We Go on Dancing Nonetheless)

So, creating this artwork was a totally awesome experience for me. My buddy Tim (whom I’ve created several short films with) introduced me awhile back to an amazing new band that his friends started called Ryvoli. I was hooked after listening to them for the first time and found myself consuming their new album and old songs on repeat all the time. Their music hit me in that right spot (like other bands I’ve mentioned before) that connected in a personal way with my story, and heartbreaks, and hopes.

I told Tim I was really provoked to create an artwork based on one of Ryvoli’s songs. He offered to connect me with Sam and Jenn from the band directly to see about collaborating on the piece. (The concept of collaborating with the musicians/song writers that inspire me to create artwork was always a dream of mine and something that I always thought should occur more often in the art/music world than I have seen.

All that to say, Sam and Jenn were totally game for helping me out. After some initial texts/emails, our collaboration resulted in several short but precious audio journal entries that Sam took the time to create for me to use in my work. I listened to the recordings many times and took notes and added my own reflections in my sketchbook as I worked on the painting. This process was so rewarding as it helped unlock a new depth and meaning in the song and lyrics that I was referencing in my work.

My favorite artwork to create is a collaborative artwork. I enjoy working on pieces with other creatives as opposed to just going it alone. I’ve always been that way. Perhaps that’s why I love making films as they have a built-in communal creative quality to them. Or maybe it’s just a lot more fun to tell stories when you co-write them with other people.

Anyhow, I hope that Sam and Jenn like what I’ve created and feel like there are at least a few bits of their work that have been honored by my own. As I said in my artist statement, I think my painting is really like a small “song” that we wrote together. I’m hoping that someone who listens to it will find some meaning and hope in their story the same way I did when I heard “Not in a Bad Way.”

Thank you Sam and Jenn for taking the time to connect with me. Your music and lyrics are special and have a special place in my story.

I’ve included the formal Titles/Artist Statements/Details about my piece below.

The Fresh Art Exhibition opening is January 13th from 5pm-7pm. The show runs from January 13 - March 18.

Artwork Title:  Wasting Away in the Best of Times (We Go on Dancing Nonetheless)

Artist Statement: Wasting Away in the Best of Times (We Go on Dancing Nonetheless) is a visual and emotional response to the song “Not in a Bad Way,” by Ryvoli. Stylistically, it is an abstract expressionist work influenced by street art and using words and language as art. Thematically, it explores the tension that exists when we find ourselves navigating or trapped in moments known as “liminal spaces.” These disorienting seasons often leave us hanging uncomfortably in transition, often forcing us to tread water somewhere in-between storms and safe harbors.

My work is heavily influenced and inspired by music and Ryvoli’s song “Not in a Bad Way” served as my primary inspiration and source material for this piece. My research for this painting took a fresh turn as I was able to connect with Sam (and Jenn) from the band through a mutual friend. This is the first piece I’ve done with an inside perspective from a song writer on the story behind the song that provoked me to create a work of art. Through our small collaboration, I ended up with several short but precious audio journal entries from Sam. She thoughtfully answered questions I had and offered honest reflections about the pain and hidden beauty behind her song. The painting contains some of those moments, as well as my reflections as I spent time listening to the song and Sam’s journal recordings.

Whenever we speak to an artist directly about their work, it connects us to their art or music in a new and more intimate way.

My hope is that this painting reveals my story (one that is rooted in many long years of chronic pain), while also re-telling a bit of the story Sam shared with me too. In the end, perhaps our collective voices have a song worth singing to someone else who is searching for some bravery as they face the hard and often lonely road that leads, sometimes slowly, through liminal spaces.

Beyond Ryvoli’s “Not in a Bad Way,” this artwork was also influenced by mewithoutYou’s “9:27 a.m., 7/29″, “My Exit Unfair”, “O’ Porcupine”, and “A Glass Can Only Spill What it Contains.”

Medium:  Acrylic, Crayon, and Hand-cut Stencil Graffiti on Canvas

Dimensions:  36” x 48”

I wanted to add the Juror’s Statement about the show...

The challenge of Fresh—to push the boundaries of what art can be— is a big one, both in the context of the times and within the practice of any individual artist.  How does art evolve, and how does an individual practice evolve, and how do we push ourselves and each other?  For most artists, this is a constant pursuit. What can we do that is new? How can the things we make relate to the world, and matter? One of the ways that happens is through the materials use, and the way they intersect with the times.  Does the medium speak to the time? Is it derived of the time? How does it relate, either inherently or in the way the artist uses it? In choosing this show, I focused on medium and material and the ways they inform the artists’ work.  

This is an incredibly varied show, not only in the media and the mix of media, but in the perspective of the artists.  There’s abstract intrigue, urgent concerns, and topical provocation, and plenty in between. And you have plenty to gain by taking a close look at each piece. I love the way the show came out, and glad to have you see and consider these works.  

Thanks to all the artists who applied to be a part of this show. Without individual artists, we would not have all this substance that enriches our lives. And thanks to Summit Artspace for creating the platform for the artists to show their work, and for people to take a look. It has been a pleasure playing a role in this year’s iteration of Fresh.  

– Michael Gill Executive Director Collective Arts Network

[curatingworship]

NEW ARTWORK INSPIRED BY TINA BOONSTRA, MEWITHOUTYOU, RICH VILLODAS & GOSPEL OF MARK

I created a couple of new paintings that were kind of “in-progress” simultaneously over the course of the last year or so. I would just pull them out for periods of time and work on them back and forth and sometimes at the same time. As such, I kind of view them as companions of sorts—maybe like a brother and a sister. They are titled:

Like a Scratch Across a Lens Made Everything Look Wrong from Anywhere We Stood (Can You Pull Me Off the Floor Again?) 

Watching Sink the Heavy Ship of Everything We Knew (Try it Out Until You Believe) 

Both pieces contain so many fragments of thoughts that emerged out of a long exegetical theological study I did through the entire Gospel of Mark over the Lenten season a year ago—mostly for fun, but also in preparation for a sermon I was teaching that season on Mark 4:35-41. A takeaway I shared was this:

I don’t think that Jesus will always calm the storm for us. I don’t think that Jesus is super concerned with doing that all of the time. I do think that He is writing our unique stories in a way that goes beyond our expectations of how stories should be written. I also think that He’s weaving our stories into a much bigger story and perhaps how we respond to crises - especially one’s that linger - has much to do with how that grand story gets written and what part we can play in it.

A theology that says Jesus will calm the storms of my life is always going to be more attractive than a theology that says Jesus will help me remain calm as we try and find a way through the storms together. Mark encouraged his community to keep seeking Jesus and looking for ways to expand God’s Kingdom through their challenging and hostile circumstances...I think it’s important for us to remember that Jesus can expand God’s Kingdom and bring beauty and glory through the uncomfortable, uncontrollable, unwanted and unexpected parts of our stories too.

At that time, I was also reading a book by Rich Villodas called “The Deeply Formed Life: Five Transformative Values to Root Us in the Way of Jesus.” A few chapters echoed some of the thoughts that I was gathering, and one quote that Villodas wrote that really resonated with my Markan musings was this:

It is often difficult to locate the presence of God or believe that He is near, especially in hard moments, but theologically there’s no place where He is not at work. – Rich Villodas

Of course, all my artwork and filmmaking is shaped and influenced by music. One of the artists that has had a profound effect on my artwork over the last few years is a musician and poet named Tina Boonstra. Both paintings contain so many thoughts from 2 songs written by Tina, both of which were knit so closely to some of the key theological ideas I pulled from my tour of Mark’s Gospel—especially regarding themes like faith vs. doubt, hope vs. despair, misunderstanding vs. knowing, absence vs. silence, and really what the cost of discipleship actually is. Shout out to Tina for creating 2 works of art that really resonate deeply: “Second Chance” and “City of Doubt.”

N.T. Wright wrote this about the power of music:

My favorite moments in my favorite music are what they are precisely because they come just then, they say that to me (though they say it in different ways every time I hear it), and they are a memory, absorbed first into the onward flow of the music and then into my expanded heart. I was going to say they become ‘just’ a memory, but perhaps that’s wrong too. They are a part of who I am. – N.T. Wright

That’s how I feel about Tina Boonstra’s music. That’s why I listen to Pearl Jam and Sonic Youth and Comrades and so many other bands and musicians all of the time—“they [mysteriously and yet truly] are a part of who I am.”

I’m also always on a steady diet of mewithoutYou’s entire record catalogue and so you’ll see lots of their musical influence and pieces of poetry scattered through the paintings as well.

Anyways, I’ve included the formal Titles/Artist Statements/Details about each piece below.

Stay tuned for a post about their inclusion in a brand new art exhibition at Summit Artspace in July called: Reconciliation. The last image above is 1 of 4 post cards promoting the show!

Artwork Title:  Like a Scratch Across a Lens Made Everything Look Wrong from Anywhere We Stood (Can You Pull Me Off the Floor Again?) 

Artist Statement: 

Like a Scratch Across a Lens Made Everything Look Wrong from Anywhere We Stood (Can You Pull Me Off the Floor Again?) is an abstract expressionist work that explores the tension that exists when we find ourselves living in the grey space between hope and despair.

I have suffered from chronic nerve pain for over 16 years of my life, and there’s still no end in sight. As such, almost every painting I create contains little fragments of that story within it. I’m aware of that when I’m painting, but I’m also aware of the reality that everyone has their own experience of suffering and pain and loss. And while we all feel and respond to those moments in unique ways, I do think that one thing that sort of knits all of our personal strands of sorrow together is the long and costly search for bravery as we try and reconcile our hopes (that our suffering will end) with our despairing circumstances (that strongly suggest otherwise).  

On the one hand, this piece functions as a sort of personal lament. On the other, I hope that it also reflects back to the viewer in a way that allows them to discover a bit of newness and meaning within their own story.

My work is heavily influenced and inspired by music. This piece contains many moments and thoughts from Tina Boonstra’s song, “Second Chance.” It also was inspired by mewithoutYou’s “Messes of Men,” “Goodbye, I!” and “Wolf Am I! (and Shadow).”  

Medium:  Acrylic and Crayon on Canvas 

Dimensions:  40” x 30” 

 Artwork Title:  Watching Sink the Heavy Ship of Everything We Knew (Try it Out Until You Believe) 

Artist Statement: 

Watching Sink the Heavy Ship of Everything We Knew (Try it Out Until You Believe), is an abstract expressionist work that was produced as a response to the song “City of Doubt,” by Tina Boonstra.

How do you reconcile your fear with your faith? How do you maintain hope when there’s no evidence of it? And how do you find courage when there’s a thousand more reasons to be afraid? It’s extremely hard to be brave when we perceive an absence of hope.

What I’ve found is that sometimes (or maybe it's often), a song or an artwork or a film is the only thing that can provide bravery to non-heroic people like myself. The music and lyrics become a way forward through those dark moments when life is left disoriented by suffering. 

This painting exists because a song led me to discover a little more hope and bravery as I face my own battles in life. In a similar way, I hope that the artwork can lead its viewers to discover a bit more courage and confidence as they navigate their way forward through their own doubts, and pain, and loss too. Hope is often silent, but She’s never not right by your side.

My work is heavily influenced and inspired by music. This piece was created in response to Tina Boonstra’s song, “City of Doubt.” It was also inspired by mewithoutYou’s “Messes of Men,” “I Never said that I was Brave,” and “The Sun and the Moon.” 

Medium:  Acrylic and Crayon on Canvas 

Dimensions:  40” x 30”  

[curatingworship]

NEW DOCUMENTARY FILM - Featuring the Art Bomb Brigade and ArtsLIFT program at UA.

Title:  Reimagining Schrank Hall South Courtyard (A Campus Rebeautification Project)

Description:  This inspiring documentary follows the collaborative efforts of UA's campus community to creatively remake the courtyard space located within The University of Akron's Schrank Hall South.

Director’s Statement:

This film started out as what I thought was just another work project, in this case, an opportunity to make a short film documenting the renovation of the old Shrank Hall South courtyard. But I was actually quite surprised to discover that this work project would become one of my all-time beloved pieces of art that I’ve ever made. I think that’s because the story I was trying to tell ended up reflecting back to me in a profound way…that is to say it had an impact on my own story.

Practically, this film is intended to give its viewers a behind-the-scenes narrative look at how the Reimagined Schrank Hall South Courtyard came to be. And I’m hoping that seeing that process and the vision behind it, will add to the way that people experience and appreciate that wonderfully renewed space.

But, I’m also hoping that viewers of this film will join me in being equally surprised, inspired and moved by the people who are in it; the community who came together to create the amazing space that this documentary celebrates. I think that their gifts, and their passions, and their creativity and the love that they poured out for the UA campus and for our city through this project (and using art and creativity to help give us more hope and knit us all closer together) is what I’m most excited to share through this tiny little piece of artwork that I created. And so, I hope that their story does truly reflect back into each viewer’s own story in a meaningful way too.

Thank you to Nate Su, Kelly Bray and Steve Allen for helping me make this documentary. And truly from the bottom of my heart, thank you to everyone who was in the film and who trusted and allowed me to tell your story. It was a privilege and honor to do it. It truly was an unexpected gift.

(the entire film was handheld and focus was pulled manually on my trusted old vintage 28mm Nikon lens...and of course I couldn’t resist throwing in at least a few split-diopter shots)

Directed by:  Ja Miller

Produced by:  Kelly Bray and Ja Miller

Featuring:  Art Bomb Brigade, UA ArtsLIFT, Dr. Elisa Gargarella, Marissa McClellan, Daniel Preacher, and Brad Dieterich

Cinematography & Edited by:  Ja Miller

Sound Recorded & Edited by:  Nathaniel Su

Drone Footage Filmed by:  Steve Allen

Music Curated by:  Nathaniel Su

Length:  11 min. 38 sec.

Copyright 2021. All Rights Reserved.

Art Bomb Brigade: https://akronartbomb.com/

Arts LIFT: https://www.uakron.edu/art/academics/art-education.dot

[curatingworship]

TINA BOONSTRA INSPIRED ART FROM BACK IN MARCH - Polaroid Emulsion Lifts!!

Title:  Faintly Like the Western Shore (As Steady as My Heartbeat, As Certain as the Sunrise) - No. 1 and No. 2

Medium:   Color slide film image printed onto Polaroid film, Polaroid emulsion lifted onto canvas.

Artist Statement:   For me, working with film is a uniquely emotional experience. Dating back to my first encounter with a 4x5 camera, I’ve always loved the slow and tactile process of producing photographs traditionally (on film and in the darkroom) and the emotional quality inherent in manipulated Polaroid films. When I’m working on a Polaroid emulsion lift, I liken it to the emotional and soul-baring process of my work as an abstract expressionist painter—as the Polaroid manipulation process requires a reaction aesthetically, but also emotionally as the image takes on scars, imperfections, and new meaning through lifting and resetting the emulsion onto a new surface. "Faintly, Like the Western Shore (As Steady as My Heartbeat, As Certain as the Sunrise)”, is a work that explores how an image (or the memory) of a place can stir our emotions in such a meaningful way that it ultimately produces a sense of hope and bravery within us.

Most of my artwork is inspired and influenced by music, which adds another emotional dimension to my process of making art. In this case, I was heavily influenced by the song "I Think I See You Now" by Tina Boonstra, which led me to select this particular image from an old roll of Fuji Velvia chrome I shot in Morro Bay, CA. I had the song on a loop as I performed the emulsion lifts and consequently, the final emulsion lift displays some of the “marks” of my emotional response to Boonstra’s lyrics.

Like I said, I completed these two takes on the theme above back in March, like right before the COVID-19 pandemic got real in Ohio. Shout out to Tina Boonstra once again for making music that makes me want to create things (and find hope and a reason to be brave and keep singing...)

[curatingworship]

ACCEPTED INTO THE ARTISTS OF RUBBER CITY REGIONAL JURIED ART EXHIBITION (and a brief reflection on the music of Tina Boonstra)

Title: The Grace and the Impatience to Wait (Not Yet as Light as Hope) 

So, this doesn’t happen to me except once every several years, but a few months ago I came across a new musical artist whose work just destroyed me from the very first song I heard and kept on destroying me (in a good way...like emotionally, spiritually, artistically, theologically) as I experienced her full catalog of music. You know there’s tons of music that I love and that I listen to and revisit often...BUT every now and then you stumble across an artist whose music cuts you very deeply and resonates in a profound way - where it could be on repeat all the time as you move through life and faith. For me that happened the first time I listened to the music from Tina Boonstra. For whatever reason, her music and lyrics just hit me perfectly.

A result of listening to Boonstra’s music has been a new wave of creativity and inspiration artistically for me. I printed out all her lyrics and pasted them in my art journal. I have already completed 2 artworks in response to her songs and have a couple more in the works (maybe even a short film idea). All that to say, I entered one of those works into the Artists of Rubber City Regional Juried Art Exhibition and was just notified that my piece was accepted and selected by juror Amy Mothersbaugh to be included in the show.

The new painting was my response to what was then a brand new song by Tina called “What’s the Rush?” My piece is titled “The Grace and the Impatience to Wait (Not Yet as Light as Hope)”. You can read more about it and how Tina’s music inspired it below...

SHOUT OUT TO TINA BOONSTRA for creating music that is beautiful, inspiring, challenging, and has the power to speak to me time and time again. Check her out - https://www.tinaboonstra.com/

QUICK UPDATE:  I was able to connect with Tina and share my work with her...she most awesomely posted my piece on her instagram! Check it... https://www.instagram.com/p/CCvKStRguzr/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

Title:  The Grace and the Impatience to Wait (Not Yet as Light as Hope)

Medium:   Acrylic and crayon on canvas

Dimensions:  48″ x 36″

Artist Statement:  “The Grace and the Impatience to Wait (Not Yet as Light as Hope)” is an abstract expressionist work in response to the song “What is the Rush?” by Tina Boonstra. Most of my work as an artist and film maker is heavily inspired and influenced by music.

This painting explores the idea that moving too quickly and unintentionally through life can lead to a series of unintended consequences, including a loss of identity, purpose, and deeper joy in life. As our rituals slowly (and silently) become routines, our sense of wonder disappears, and meaningful moments become harder to find.

Abstract expressionist painting is a very emotional and soul-baring process, and this piece contains my interpretation of Boonstra’s music and lyrics through my “voice” as it is “written” on the canvas in the language of color, texture, (and a few actual words).

“The Grace and the Impatience to Wait (Not Yet as Light as Hope)” began as a profound feeling the first time I heard “What is the Rush?” I think this artwork was stored up in me from the very first listen, something that stirred deeply in me and that I knew would eventually find it’s way out as a work of art. As we move through life—which very seldom is drawn using straight lines—maybe we can find a way to slow down and turn those routines back into rituals again.

Show Details:  My piece will be hanging in the Main Gallery at Summit Artspace in downtown Akron. The show’s opening night is July 10 and it will also be Summit Artspace’s grand re-opening night following the COVID-19 closure. The exhibition will run from July 10 through August 8 in downtown Akron, OH. Visit Summit Artspace for details on gallery hours and COVID-19 visitor experience information, including how to reserve free “timed” tickets to the opening and normal gallery hours ( https://summitartspace.org/tickets ).

Thank you to Summit Artspace, the Artists of Rubber City collective, and to Amy Mothersbaugh. It is a privilege and joy to be included in the show.

[curatingworship]

ABIDE BY THE NUMBERS -  Therefore we do not lose heart (On the contrary, we suffer responsibly)

On Sunday, I finally got to be a part of curating a version of “Communion by the Numbers”, which is one of my favorite creative worship experiences I’ve come across in my decade of curating worship. It’s from the Grace community across the way in England (home to one of my heroes Jonny Baker).

So, our version was called “Abide by the Numbers” and took place during our 2nd Sundays “Abide” contemplative service. The morning began with me teaching a sermon I titled, “Therefore we do not lose heart (On the contrary, we suffer responsibly)”.

The message was broken into 2 parts, the first was an introduction to advent centered around the notion that “advent is not for the faint of heart” (Fleming Rutledge)...this included a section where I shared my 14 year (and counting) story of suffering with chronic pain.

We then showed the latest film Kate and I created called: Only the Dead Survive Winter in Providence (High Places are Getting Harder to Find). It was a self-portrait project and presents Pain as a personified and intimate (not romantic) presence in my life...you can read tons more about that film and watch it in my previous post here.  (oh and our film finally found it’s proper home as it was just screened on Saturday at the Highland Theater as a part of the Highland Square Film Festival!)

Then I preached on the idea that discipleship comes with a call to suffer responsibly, which is made possible by God who gives us many many reasons to say: “therefore, we do not lose heart...”

Anyhow that’s the framework we brought into our Abide by the Numbers service the rest of the morning. You can see that liturgy here: Abide by the Numbers.  

Big shout to Jonny Baker and the Grace community again. We used one of their communion liturgies directly...and the whole service is based on their previous work and model. 

This slow, intimate table worship experience resonated deeply with our community and I can’t wait to see what the next version looks like!!! Cheers!

[curatingworship]

KATE & I HAVE CREATED A NEW SHORT FILM!

Title:  Only the Dead Survive Winter in Providence (High Places are Getting Harder to Find)

Description:   Yours Truly has an honest conversation with one of his closest companions, Pain.

The film actually came about as a loose idea I was going to pursue as part of an art installation for a juried self-portrait exhibition. So, the motivation was to create a sort of self-portrait via “video art”. As I tossed around script ideas for this video art piece, I got caught on this concept of my personal pain (most know my story by this point...over a decade of numbness in my legs now...) being personified as this intimate (not romantic) character that lives with me. Kate really encouraged me to risk acting in the film, which I am very thankful for. Kate also did some tremendous work helping me shape some of the concepts in the script and helping me enter into the vulnerability and craft of acting. I’m very thankful for being able to work with such a gifted actress and storyteller...it’s like being in art school again and being able to work with friends who just connect well creatively. Anyways, as the script evolved and after we wrapped the post-production, I just felt so proud of this work that I decided not to enter it into the art show, because I thought the context wasn’t appropriate for the film anymore. I’d like to do a proper screening sometime, maybe at church...we’ll see.

The film itself is my attempt at highlighting some of the reality of living with pain and then exploring how that can be interpreted through grief, lament, hopelessness and faith. It’s loosely inspired by themes in the Book of Habakkuk and the Book of Lamentations. I wanted to write a script that was very personal, and yet invited others to reflect on their own stories and hopefully find truth and maybe even the hidden hope (often connected to our ability to be brave) that God provides when we’re facing momentary “light” afflictions in life.

The film is also inspired by the work of my favorite film-maker, Jim Jarmusch - specifically my favorite film of his “Only Lovers Left Alive”. (the middle sequence of our film includes a reference to my favorite scene in Only Lovers Left Alive...which is also one of my favorite scenes ever in cinema) Another influence and motivation was Sonic Youth’s song “Providence”. 

I think it turned out better than I had anticipated, when you take into consideration our lack of budget, equipment, and time (script to final cut was done in like 2 weeks...and filming was done in 5 hours...including rehearsal, wardrobe, set design, storyboards, etc.) Kate and I kind of composed the scenes on the fly and actually rewrote the ending once we got to that point, because we felt like “Pain” was being a bit to motherly and needed to show her “fangs” one more time.

The sound is less than stellar, but that’s what you get when you have a two person crew and both are primary actors in every scene (that’s the next thing I shall try and upgrade for the next project). I tried my hand lighting an indoor scene shot at day but to look like it was nighttime...I also wanted to juxtapose the ambient tungsten warm light from the table lamp with daylight balanced film lights I spilled in from the kitchen. This is also the first film that I’ve attempted to color-grade and present in full color...pretty pleased with the results. Cheers!

Directed by:  Ja Miller

Written by:  Ja Miller

Featuring:  Kate Dwyer (as Pain) and Ja Miller (as Yours Truly)

Cinematography & Editing by:  Ja Miller

Sound Recorded & Edited by:  Ja Miller and Nathaniel Su

Music Composed by:  Nathaniel Su

Length: 5 min. 34 sec.

A City Hope Film  Copyright 2019. All Rights Reserved.

[curatingworship]

COFFEE WITH RUTH + A NEW FILM ON THE WAY

So, I’m just posting the film Coffee with Ruth here since the film competition is long over now and wanted to get the embed up on my blog. It was really rad to have it screened at the Nightlight Cinema in downtown Akron. I think Kate and I are getting better at our craft.

Kate and I actually just wrapped up a new film project, which I am super super stoked about. It’s called Only the Dead Survive Winter in Providence (High Places are Getting Harder to Find). It’s a short film we produced as part of a potential video art installation I might submit to a juried self-portrait exhibition...still trying to work out how the heck you present a 5 minute narrative short film in a fine art gallery context...quite the curation puzzle! 

Those that know me and have followed this blog know that one of my great battles in life is with chronic pain and numbness through my lower extremities. As such, this “self-portrait” is a narrative film where my character (Yours Truly) has an honest conversation with one of his closest companions (Pain). 

I will be sharing the film soon! So for those that are interested in those things, stay tuned!

[curatingworship]

“COFFEE WITH RUTH” OUR NEW SHORT FILM IS SCREENING AT THE NIGHTLIGHT CINEMA!

Title:  Coffee with Ruth

Description:  Still disoriented from the loss of someone close to her, Ruth spends some time at her favorite coffee shop.

The film is inspired by the biblical story “Ruth”, the songs Shepherd’s Hymn and Orphan Hymn by one of my favorite bands: Comrades, and Kate’s aunt who I was surprised to discover is also named Ruth. It is an exploration into the theme of suffering/loss, but not in an acute or immediate way, more like the slow grind of dealing with it in the context of everyday life. It’s also about navigating the “grey” spaces in life that exist as you float between storms and safe harbors. And lastly, it explores the relationship between memory and hope.

Directed by:  Ja Miller

Written by:  Tim Meier and Ja Miller

Featuring:  Kate Dwyer (as Ruth)

Cinematography & Editing by:  Ja Miller

Sound Recorded & Edited by:  Ja Miller and Nathaniel Su

Music Composed by:  Nathaniel Su

Length:  4 min. 44 sec.

Everett Connector Films:  Featuring a revolving cast of team members since 2004. Coffee with Ruth was created by: Ja Miller, Nathaniel Su, Tim Meier, and Kate Dwyer.

WATCH NOW HERE:  https://youtu.be/GP8plEtOjVU

DETAILS ABOUT THE SCREENING AND ONLINE VIEWING OPTIONS

They are screening the film entries in two sets of 80 minute  “programs” that will each show twice on September 22nd at the Nightlight Cinema in downtown Akron. We are the opening film in the second “program” (Program B), screening at 3pm and 7pm. You can go online to reserve a FREE ticket to any of the available screenings at nightlightcinema.com.

NOTE: The main theater has sold out all shows. IF YOU STILL WANT TO GO, they are soon adding tickets to their second “Lounge 237″ theater space, which will screen the films at the same times as the main theater space. These are limited and will sell out.

WATCH ALL OF THE FILMS and VOTE ONLINE beginning on September 22nd by downloading the free “High Arts Festival” mobile app or at higharts.org/film

THIS FILM WAS INSPIRED BY...

The script for this film took some time to develop...it started out with the desire to just try and come up with something we could film in a month so we could enter the High Arts Festival. I always find out about this at the last minute and am not a film maker (except for fun last minute deals like this) so I never have work prepared. So, I started playing around with some of the themes in the Book of Ruth. I’ve always loved that biblical story and especially it’s main character. I began throwing a couple of not so good script ideas around with my buddy Tim and just felt a bit lost only a few weeks out from the film festival deadline.

SHOUT OUT TO COMRADES AGAIN!

Fortunately, inspiration came from a band that has inspired a few of my projects (and impacted my own faith and identity as an artist)...I ended up going to a show in Cleveland to see one of my all-time favorite bands Comrades and they ended up performing back-to-back songs from different albums that are thematically connected together…Orphan Hymn and Shepherd’s Hymn. For whatever reason that night those two songs spoke to me in a way they hadn’t before. So a couple mornings later, I just had those songs on repeat and after battling writer’s block for so many weeks, I quite easily wrote what would become the first draft of our main character’s monologue in like 10 minutes. Tim helped me really refine the monologue and get it into its final form, and the rest of the film kind of took off and fell into place from there.

Coincidentally, Kate has an aunt named Ruth who she really looks up to and loves. After sharing a small part of Aunt Ruth’s story with me, I knew that it would also inspire and shape the film we were about to make.

If you like this sort of thing, in the film you will find a few nods to some of the artists who inspired the film. Ruth is wearing a Comrades t-shirt. Our actress, Kate, wrote out the lyrics to both Comrades songs on some of the props she used to prepare for the film and inspire her character (including the journal and the “letter from Aunt Ruth” that made it into the film). We used checkered napkins as a shout out to Jim Jarmusch, who has influenced my work. And in what’s become a repeated part of my cinematography, we have a split-diopter shot, which is partly an ode to Quentin Tarantino (who I learned the shot from, and who made me want to make films). I couldn’t throw in a nod to John Cusack, but as we wrote the monologue I just pictured the delivery of his character from Hi-Fidelity the whole time.

MORE DETAILS ABOUT THE FILM IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN READING:

This film was challenging because I had to do the whole production phase as a one man crew. Kate and I story-boarded and filmed scenes that were scripted and unscripted all on the fly over the course of a couple hours (kind of merging my vision for the film and script with her vision for Ruth).

I used my vintage 8-element Nikon 28mm manual focus lens again, which is just a beautiful lens to work with. I am self-taught when it comes to film (i studied film photography in art school), so I learned a lot more about cinematic lighting (especially available light and minimalist lighting) by watching a few docs on this amazing director of photography named Bradford Young. I blocked out all the windows, because we shot right at the end of the day into the night, so the light inside was going to be changing dramatically. I lit the entire film with LED lights and some reflectors, and used the lights in the building as motivating lights in the actual shots.

I used Adobe Premiere Pro to edit the film, and again tried to process the film in a way that mimics the vintage grainy Kodak film stock and “bleach bypass” processing used in the film 21 grams.

I gave Nate some song references and direction and he produced exactly what I heard in my head. I was intentionally looking for music that had a “garage-rock” dirty sound, but wrapped around chords that were really just a “pop-song”. I pictured it really defining the vibe of the film and matching some of themes we were exploring.

Hoping you can see the film and if you’re in the area check out the High Arts Festival which features Visual Art, Music, Literary Art and Film entries from Akron and the greater region. Maybe even vote for us!

[curatingworship]

Fresh Expressions

As a part of trying to invest in and invite others from within our church to curate worship and help pioneer fresh expressions of worship, we are starting to see a few artists, writers, and curators emerge and offer their gifts and imaginations to our community. These are a couple of poems/liturgies that were created by Sam Strickland. The first was a poem we presented around Christmas. The second is a liturgy Sam led us through as opening prayer on Mother’s Day at our contemplative space called Abide.

“Advent is Arrival” by Sam Strickland

Advent is arrival, it’s dawning, it’s birth. Expectation, anticipation, and peace here on earth. Hope for the hopeless, Justice for the oppressed. Love without measure, poured out on the blessed.

Advent is giving and sharing good tidings I hope you’re catching the cliches And the good I’m emphasizing.

I tend to think that the best thing Is to pretend I’m not wrestling To act like I am good at counting my blessings It’s a shame, cause I really do have a lot of blessings

—which are clouded by words I can’t bear for your to hear Words like abandonment, anxiety, and fear How can I talk about Advent and ignore the conflict that lives here?

Now that you know what it’s really like for me You’re probably wondering how close to God I could be After all, these aren’t things a Christian should feel. And they’re sure not like Christmas, which is supposed to be Merry My life doesn’t look a thing like Joseph’s or Mary’s They were definitely holy, they didn’t have to do anything scary.

I hope you’re catching the sarcasm again I only tell you this because you’re my friends. Poems are cheesy, and this one’s no exception, But I want you to know it’s ok to hold your whole life in tension.

Advent can be expectation, anticipation and fear. Anxiety, depression, or hope amid despair. It can be conflict, abandonment, love, joy, or peace. Anything that you’re feeling is worth sharing this week. It’s ok to be honest and authentic or intense Because advent is arrival, and arrival is never the end.

Christ has died, Christ has risen, Christ will come again.

“A Reflection on Divine Love and Motherhood” - Sam Strickland

Loving God, Comforter, Nourisher, Soother, Sustainer, who protects us, teaches us, and delights in us.

We enter into your presence today and reflect on your Divine love and your maternal nature. As we press into this reality, we consider the acts of mothering which so tangibly remind us of your heart towards us. We honor daily tasks such as...

Packing lunches, bandaging skinned knees, rushing to work, and working from home; Volunteering for school, homeschooling, or going back to school; Traveling to games and practices, hosting parties, planning meals, shopping, and doing laundry; Taking sick days, waking for night-time feedings, and rocking little ones to sleep; Visiting colleges, furnishing first-apartments, and booking plane tickets for the holidays.

But more than the acts, we see the person. We honor the person.

We celebrate the embodiments of…

Wisdom. Grace. Gentleness. Inspiration. Hopes. Dreams. Generosity. Sacrifice.

And at the same time, we consider the complexity of…

Insecurities being exposed, and expectations being crushed; Losing oneself and finding oneself. Forever wondering if it will be enough – if it is being done right.

We enter into what it must be like to live in the spaces between...

Motherhood’s greatest joys and its deepest sorrows; Building up and tearing down; Kisses pressing happy tears into rosy cheeks and hurting tears drenching grief-laden necks. Praying to live up to the example of one’s own mother and begging to look nothing like it.

Oh God, let us keep silence for those to whom this day means…

Losing. Suffering. Hoping. Waiting. Not being ready. Or going it alone.

(Silence is kept).

We ask you, Holy Spirit, to move gently into the places of lack, of distress, and abandonment. To continue this life-long process of mending what’s broken, affirming what is good, and shaping us into fuller expressions of Your likeness.

We call out to you, Jesus, and ask that you rush us into opportunities to be your hands and feet.

We huddle close to you, Father, in the security of being mothered by you, even as we mother your children.

And we go out into this world ready to stand against injustice, to lend our ears to those who have been silenced, to celebrate wins, to affirm what we have done well, and to exercise great hope for what we shall be…

Because we are profoundly and deeply loved.

And as a mother quiets her children, may you quiet our hearts. May we lay our head on your chest until the ache in our soul subsides. And may the warmth of your unconditional embrace empower us to do your will and guide us as we follow in your way.

Amen.

[curatingworship]

NEW GOOD FRIDAY SHORT FILM BASED ON 3 ORIGINAL POEMS

So a few of us at City Hope managed to curate a creative project for Good Friday. We ended up each writing a poem and then took those poems and produced the short film titled THREE - A Collection of Poems for Good Friday.

For various reasons, the tension and mystery of Good Friday really resonates with us. I’ve always been drawn towards the Stations of the Cross and the hidden beauty and meaning that can be discovered in the darkness and silence of Christ’s passion. Suffering can be meaningful and pain can be a place where we are surprised by God’s gift of newness. These poems are an attempt at reflecting on some of those ideas, which I think ultimately do uncover the depths of God’s love toward us and the call to follow Jesus down the selfless path.

If you are interested, you can download the poems and a brief intro with a link to the film here:  https://1drv.ms/b/s!AhmBsKkcvGxXg15oLZ4Z-5hpsmmT

I’m extremely proud of Daniel and Kate, who really pressed into the curation process with me.

For those who love film making, I utilized my vintage Nikon 8 element 28mm manual focus lens again. And I also story-boarded the main shot as a split-focus shot, to create that sense of tension and symbolism to the shot. So, the candles and the poets are both able to be in focus in each shot (while the middle areas still show depth of field falling off) by shooting with my vintage Split-Diopter lens. I also utilized some post-production techniques similar to our last film “Lamentations (Violet’s Song), which are meant to mimic the film stock and bleach bypass process incorporated in the film 21 Grams.

[curatingworship]

ACCEPTED INTO THE 2018 FRESH ART JURIED EXHIBITION

I am super stoked to say that I was accepted to be a part of the annual Fresh Art Exhibition at Summit Artspace in Akron again. This year my buddy Tim Meier and I worked on a collaborative piece (he brought the poetry, I brought the art, we both brought stories of pain), with the specific goal of submitting the end product to this juried exhibition.

As I said last year, Summit Artspace holds a pretty rad annual juried art exhibition called “Fresh”, which is focused on selecting works that “feature novel styles, original thinking, and demonstrate a high level of skill in the artist’s chosen 2D or 3D media.” 

More info about the piece that was accepted into the Fresh 2018 Art Exhibition:

Title:  The Way Forward (Funeral Song)

Medium:   Acrylic and Crayon on Canvas, Burnt Canvas and Stretcher Bars, Collage

Dimensions:  36″ x 36″

Artist Statement:  The Way Forward (Funeral Song) is the result of a long distance collaboration with one of my closest friends, Tim Meier, who happens to be a gifted writer. What started out as something we loosely referred to as “the pain project”, eventually resulted in a beautiful poem, written by Tim, and this work of art that the poem inspired. This project is based on both of our ongoing struggles through pain, loss and different experiences of suffering. I wanted to express those experiences through texture, value and color, and through my first time experimenting with the wonderfully crude nature of my children's crayons and the destructive quality of fire. By integrating Tim’s poem within my deconstructed canvas, it provides the viewer with two perspectives of some of the emotions, questions, and fleeting moments of hope that have shaped and continue to shape our journeys through some dark seasons of life. This work is also a reflection on the experience of suffering in general, with hopes of inviting the viewer to contemplate their own stories of pain, loss and those times that they have had to search for bravery amidst the loneliness of Hope’s absence.

Tim’s Poem:

fragile fragments “we are not as strong as

we think we are”

a flame flickers oxygenate still it struggles to

         breathe

i know the shadows prove the sunshine i know Pain –

reveals beauty i (also) know enough is enough

when will the winter ice melt into comfort?

glimpses of presence give today’s hope

i know (mostly)

the way forward is            always                 through

Show details:  https://www.summitartspace.org/summit-artspace-gallery/

The exhibition is free and open to the public from March 2 - 31. 

Opening reception is March 2nd from 5pm-8pm

Gallery hours are Thursdays and Fridays, noon-7 p.m., and Saturdays, noon-5 p.m. 

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ADVENT ARTWORK:  I created a couple of new pieces for Advent this year. The first work is a part of my “icons” series, and contains two new stencils I created (1 adapted from Michelangelo’s Madonna & Child sculpture, and 1 adapted from the Lamb of God image in one of my favorite depictions of the crucifixion by an artist named Matthias Grünewald). The second piece is an Advent version of a painting I did several years ago for the Easter Cycle. This time I created it with the intention of becoming a “communal artwork”, as our community members were invited to add to the piece...

...Both of these artworks were utilized as part of a station I curated for a monthly contemplative space I oversee called “Abide”.

We curated Advent this year, loosely inspired by the theme “Incarnation through the eyes of the early Church Fathers”, and a lot of those thoughts are reflected in the paintings and the station I curated. I’ve attached the station guide as well.

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Since the contest is over I thought I’d post the film up here...

LAMENTATION (VIOLET’S SONG)

An Everett Connector Film

Featuring: Kate Dwyer as Violet

Written & Directed by:  Ja Miller and Nathaniel Su

Filmed & Edited by:  Ja Miller

Original Music & Sound by:  Nathaniel Su

Length:  60 seconds

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CHECK OUT OUR NEW SHORT FILM ! (see how below)

TITLE:  Lamentation (Violet’s Song)

LENGTH:  60 seconds

DESCRIPTION:  When Violet experiences a significant loss in her life, she discovers that grieving can be a long and lonely journey. She has to face some very hard questions and wait for answers that may never come.

EVERETT CONNECTOR FILMS:  Ja Miller and Nathaniel Su met while studying art in Indiana. Since then they have written, scored, and produced a number of short films under the name Everett Connector Films. They view film as the ideal artistic medium for exploring how creating music and creating images can come together to tell a single story. Their highest recognition came in 2004, when their short "Lonesole" was selected to be screened at the Flickerings Film Festival in Illinois. "Lamentation (Violet’s Song)" marks the first film they’ve created in almost a decade.

This is a little film based on major themes from the Book of Lamentations and lament theology from the Book of Psalms. We basically tried to convey some theological ideas about engaging suffering and loss including: 1) waiting as a long and lonely journey that can be fundamental to maturing our trust; 2) grieving as an opportunity for us to express our fidelity/faithfulness to God; 3) asking what happens to our hope when God is absent or silent; and 4) exploring the tension/contradiction of biblical lament, which calls for a TRUST that is open-ended and open-handed and a COMPLAINT that is rooted in an underlying confidence. Hoping you can see the film and if you’re in the area vote for us!

DETAILS ABOUT SCREENINGS AND ONLINE VIEWING AND VOTING

WATCH THE FILM IN PERSON:  Free film screenings will be available at The Nighlight Cinema on Saturday’s at 3:30 and 4:15, and Sunday’s at 6:45 and 7:30. Theater seating is limited. Voters are encouraged to reserve a FREE ticket to any of the available screenings at nightlightcinema.com.

WATCH THE FILM ONLINE:  https://higharts.org/film/lamentation-violets-song/264/c9/

https://higharts.org/film/

MORE ABOUT THE FILM ITSELF

We were provoked to write a script when we found out about the High Arts Festival’s 60 Second Film Competition held here in downtown Akron, Ohio. We were fortunate enough to be able to work with a super talented actress from my church community named Kate Dwyer. She really brought Violet to life, and her performance captured the heart and vision of our screenplay. By the end of the film, Violet’s situation has not changed or moved much, but her small acts of confidence have left the door open for turning her suffering into something meaningful and honoring to God. 

We designed and shot the film intentionally for black and white presentation. One of my all time biggest influences as a cinematographer is Alejandro González Iñárritu’s 21 Grams filmed by cinematographer Rodrigo Prieto. I was able to generally digitally reproduce the high speed Kodak 9289 film stock they intentionally shot with (giving the film it’s grainy gritty aesthetic) as well as render or “print” the final film in a way that reproduced both the film-type (Kodak Vision Premier 2393) and the “Bleach Bypass” process used on the final print of 21 Grams (in film, leaving the silver layer or bypassing bleaching the film causes high-contrast...especially between the deep shadows and glowing highlights).

One of the main elements in the film is an interplay between the main character Violet and a glass with violet flowers in it. The character was named Violet for at least 2 reasons: 1) violets symbolize faithfulness; and 2) Violet is the name of one of my favorite characters from television - a character for whom bravery is a fundamental quality.

Small bits of trivial information related to cinematography on our film - I love Tarantino Screenplays and Films. He’s also a major influence on my aesthetic as a film maker. One thing he does in most of his films is utilize a device called a “split diopter lens” (which actually has been used in tons of films, many of which you know). Basically, think of a camera lens with a “magnifying lens” over 1 half of it. When you use this lens it enables you to have sharp focus on both the subject in the background, but also in the foreground (all in one shot and while maintaining a shallow depth of field on the overall shot). One cool part of the aesthetic of this type of shot is the “blurry dividing line” you’ll see that is literally where the two halves of the lens are divided. We were able to find a vintage vivitar split diopter lens on ebay and it worked great for one of our final shots with Violet and the violets. 

I was also able to find a vintage 8-element 28mm F2.8 Nikon prime lens that we used to shoot the entire film with. It’s a manual lens, so we pulled our own focus using the lens focus ring. I loved shooting that way and I think having to pull focus manually really affects the way you shoot and the way the film looks in the end. It was cool to feel the weight and texture of an old-timey metal lens again and to hear the loud mechanical clicks of the aperature. We tried to remain in mid-range apertures (F4-F8), to give it more of a “film” look. 

Anyways hope you get a chance to watch our short.