cursesive

[cursesive]

Fate/stay night: Heaven's Queen [2 Sisters]

Rating: Teen and up audiences Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence, major character death, rape/non-con Fandom: Fate/stay night, Fate/Grand Order Summary: In which one Sakura Matou summons a certain Babylonian goddess of love and war for the Fifth Holy Grail War. It goes about as well as expected.

Also available on: AO3

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A fist full of jewels in her hand but the most important one was burning a hole in her pocket: a magnificent red jeweled pendant carrying the weight of all those before her. The previous night had been spent deciphering her father’s last testament to open the puzzle box, all to reveal that pendant, a smattering of his personal effects, and a tray holding mummified remains; an old catalyst broken into several pieces.  

The seconds ticked on; the minute hand was never quite able to tie with the faster one for more than a moment.  

“For the elements, silver and iron. 

For the foundation, stone and the Archduke of Contracts. 

For the ancestor, my great master, Schweinorg. 

A wall to block the descending wind. 

Close the gates of the cardinal directions, 

Come forth from the Crown,  

and follow the forked road leading to the Kingdom.” 

It was almost two in the morning. She had used up her jewels, half of what she had saved up these last ten years. If she failed…this would be it. 

“Fill, fill, fill, fill, fill. 

Repeat five times. 

But when each is filled, destroy it.” 

A knife stabbed through a heart. Sometimes she imagined it to be her own heart. Sometimes she imagines it to be her own hand. And someone else’s heart. And someone else’s hand. 

“—Anfang.” 

Pain. It was not an unfamiliar pain. If anything, it was a lesser pain than what she was used to. That she now knew they were used to. A knife stabbed through her heart. Like the first time. Like every time after for the body of Tohsaka Rin to become nothing more than a magic conduit. 

But to be a mage was to work past the pain for the greater goal: The Root. 

“Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.” She could almost hear their father’s voice in this memory of a memory.  

The mana entering her body is too much for human understanding; as a vessel both filled and destroyed at the same time. Her body (their body) is burning too hot. Horns that do not exist sprouting from their forehead. Wings erupting from their back, exploding the fragile, fragile human skin. Scales forming themselves out of her hand. Each intrusion was almost like what the worms did. It was satisfying to know they were not so different, that they had something the same. She gives in. 

Drowning in water. They dived together. 

Shared pain. Even if it was a pittance, it was theirs. Their suffering. Together. 

Stab. Stab. Stab. Swords are driven into their (her) body. 

The converted mana in her blood was burning hot liquid iron; the Magic Crest of the Tohsaka family, a nerve of thorns in her left arm. It runs through her body almost like worms with fangs. 

She loses herself within that pain.  

“Heed my words. 

My will creates your body, and your sword creates my destiny. 

If you heed the Grail’s call and obey my will and reason, then answer me. 

I hereby swear… 

That I shall be all the good in the world. 

That I shall defeat all evil in the world. 

You seven heavens, clad in the three great words of power, come forth from the circle of binding… 

O Guardian of the Scales!” 

And then she was there: the moment of truth. The power within her was perfect and flawless because of course it would be for Tohsaka Rin! She drew the strongest card! 

CRASH! 

She rushes up the stairs to the hallway to the living room and there she sees the man in red for the first time, sprawled on the broken furniture like he owned the place. 

And then she realized her mistake…she summoned at the wrong hour with all her clocks one hour ahead. It was not two o’clock in the morning on February 1st. 

It was two o'clock in the morning on February 1st.  

Another twilight hour in which Sakura was awake because of a dream. A dream that had just played out in real time in the house on top of the hill, not far from where Sakura laid resting. While this one did not force her to violently claw her way back into the waking world, it was no less foreboding: it signaled the countdown to save Senpai’s life. She wrestled with this for days even after using her command spells. 

Sakura raised her left hand with its last remaining petal; the other two faded like leftover pencil marks from an eraser. The Matous, her grandfather (and Shinji strangely enough), were more than pleased than she was when they first appeared on her hand…all she could think of was how to get rid of them and avoid the war altogether. Given the emphasis placed on command spells, she could only hope it was enough for her Servant to protect Shirou. At least now the goddess had someone worthy to protect. 

With that last satisfying thought, her eyes drifted back to sleep. It was short-lived peace before she found herself in another dream. 

It was 5:55 AM on February 1st when she opened her eyes again, violet pupils shrunken to pinpoints. 

It didn’t fit the other dreams; it was more than a nightmare. This was different. Dark. Horrible. Like someone took who she was on the inside and tried to give it a more tangible form. Almost as horrible as watching Shirou die. If Sakura had to describe the dream in detail, she wouldn’t have been able to. She couldn’t remember any images or sounds. The harder she tried, the more she lost until the dream didn’t exist anymore as a memory, only as a feeling she could not shake. 

Those weren’t my memories. She reasoned, getting out of bed. They also weren’t Rin’s. That was an actual fact. 

…It’ll be all right. Sakura told herself as she got dressed. I’ll be fine. 

Perhaps it would stop sounding like a lie if she kept going. 

To be safe, she avoided the Emiya residence for the day, as much as she wanted to be there. She always accepted that she would only have crumbs of him but even then, she thought she would have more time. She had selfishly prolonged their walk together yesterday night for as long as she could before the inevitable bars of the Matou residence gates. If this all failed, she wanted at least these last moments with Shirou. At the same time, if one day of abstaining was all it took to save Shirou, she would sacrifice all the time she had. 

Her mind was an endless loop, replaying tomorrow before it began. It wasn’t like her body needed her to think in order to operate. To archery club, to class, to eat alone, to class, and to archery club again. Senpai did speak to her between class and after school practice but she wasn’t there enough to truly revel in his company, much less what was said between them. She surveyed the school one last time, staying later after archery practice than she normally would in order to tidy the dojo. 

It was a frustrating puzzle. She had drilled her Servant until she was satisfied with the retelling of a future Rin’s memories. No matter how many times Sakura went over the exact sequence of events that led Shirou to stay at the school and witness something he should have never seen, there was something missing, some important detail, some key to his survival. If only she was smarter, stronger, better; then she would have figured this all out. 

Why did she have to be the one to save him when she never had a chance to be the hero of this story to begin with? 

Sakura pushed her tired body home. Fatigue was the sweetest pain she was ever graced with. When she looked ahead, her body froze for a second out of reflex, to laughably fortify her ransacked temple of a body. She was not the only one on this road anymore.  

It was the same foreigner she had been spotting around in her neighborhood. Blond hair with the body of a supermodel. Now that she was participating in the Holy Grail War, she shouldn’t have been surprised another Master had been sniffing her out. 

“Die while you can, girl.” The foreigner whispered as he passed by but Sakura didn’t break her stride, continuing forward without a reaction. “Tarry, and there may not be another chance.”  

She would die all right but not until she knew Shirou survived this war. It wasn’t fair for him to die. She still had one thing to do. 

~*~ 

“Die while you can, girl. Tarry, and there may not be another chance.” 

How. Dare. He.  

The goddess grinded her teeth at the fresh memory.  

The last few days had been bad enough with Sakura at odds with her over a simple misunderstanding that she was not allowed to correct. Since the morning of that dream, Sakura had meticulously grilled the Servant for the whens and wheres leading to Shirou’s brush of death. Each time Ishtar tried to tell the young woman he would be fine and alive, Sakura shut her out until the Servant answered her questions exactly as asked. Like she didn’t trust Ishtar, didn’t believe her to tell her the truth without guidance. Eventually she had to concede that even she was no match to the girl’s stubbornness once her course was marked. 

Worse yet, Sakura had remained civil in tone in the interactions following her confrontational outburst. Extracting herself from every attempt of casual conversation, the girl wasn’t even cold towards her. Oh no, it was much worse: polite dismissal with a neutral smile, the face the world saw her with and ignored.  

It hurt because Rider knew that wasn’t the real her, not the one she grew old with from her mortal life.  

Seeing was believing: if Sakura didn’t believe a goddess’ word, she would believe her own two eyes when she saw Saber tonight. Hopefully. Rider had consoled herself with that bright spot that things would right itself back to normal. It was fine. She always prided herself for her optimism; how else could she represent Victory and Glory? As long as she kept her eyes on the prize and her head held up high, things would go her way, eventually!  

Then he appeared yesterday.  

Her rage continued to burn true after centuries; time was no obstacle for her wrath. That king, that wretch, was still here; that much she remembered from her mortal memories. He brought shame on her and destroyed her father. It took everything not to come out of spirit form; she was sure even command spells wouldn’t have deterred her will if she had chosen to crush the King of Heroes then and there.  

Ishtar groaned out loud into her hands, allowing herself out of spirit form to do so, just to physically feel her ongoing frustration. She stomped her foot and a small crack appeared on the concrete roof. 

This was not how this war was supposed to go! She had a plan! A perfectly good plan too. It wouldn’t have been so bad if it was one little snag, but it was one thing after another, mocking her. Why must she tolerate these inconveniences!  

Right now, her hands began to itch in delight at the idea of strangling the bastard each time she saw him, and she did see him more than she liked thus far into the war. 

Except. 

Her first priority was to Sakura: if that meant “hiding” then so be it. If Gilgamesh had no problem uttering those words to the girl, then her own magnificent presence wouldn’t have made it any better. Besides, two could play this waiting game. The thought appeased the goddess’ dark mood. A little. 

Her eyes narrowed as she looked down, scrunching up her face. Why was it always that Archer who foiled her plans?!  

She furiously shook her head like a lion, dark hair waving in the morning light, to dispel any lingering negativity. For good measure, she lightly slapped her cheeks and pinched the apple red back into them. With a deep breath, a serene deity took her place on the school rooftop. It had become her regular perch after leaving Sakura at the Emiya residence most mornings like this one. The students below were ants at her dangling feet, crawling through the school gates in a nebulous blob of dots. If any stopped at the threshold, whatever grabbed their notice was not enough to hold it…unless they were the Servant’s mirror image who had just passed through: her first guest had arrived.  

Ishtar smirked in delight as Rin froze in the schoolyard. The girl pulled her shoulders back, her spine rod straight. One hand tightened on her school bag while the other clenched into a fist. With her teeth bared, Ishtar heard her proclaim to her invisible Servant that she would punish whoever would dare setup such garbage in her territory. The goddess permitted herself a light chuckle at the irony.  

One mage’s garbage was another’s treasure; it was enough to satisfy Sakura when Ishtar began the setup of the Bounded Field a few nights ago, slowly building it so as to not alert anyone until its completion. Unlike her Servant class compatriot of another timeline, this goddess had no need for a Bounded Field but her own oversight caused her to reconsider a few factors. Namely what else her Master had seen of her mortal life. That she had no control over but she did have the knowledge for some preemptive damage control. 

The memory was a surprise; the goddess should have expected it. She had lived through it after all. Sakura had confirmed it wasn’t the first memory so who knows what else the girl could possibly dream of? On one hand, it didn’t really change anything in the timeline if she was to look at it from the big picture but on the other hand…. 

Ishtar had to stay true to her own instructions to Sakura in maintaining the timeline of events. Without the role the other Rider filled, there still needed to be a Bounded Field for the players to know what their next cue was after tonight and Sakura needed reassurance her Servant was fulfilling her orders. 

So, she rolled up her sleeves: she was not a goddess afraid of dirty work. Perhaps the chicken blood was a bit much, but the mess was impressive to Sakura that Ishtar had done something to protect Shirou while he was on school grounds.  

A butterfly might affect a coming storm but the World was not easily swayed as one might think. Some things were just destined to happen. 

However, a little insurance policy never hurt anyone. 

The same could not be said for the chickens.  

“This is a lot of blood.” 

The butcher knife cut clean through the rooster’s golden neck. If only it was some other golden neck like Rider was imagining. Maybe somewhere lower. “For the Bounded Field to surround the area, I need enough to cover and anchor the spell.” 

“Bounded Field?” Sakura tilted her head. 

Rider stopped her beheading and raised a finger. “Yes, a simple circle one. Well, several small circles. After all it’s the first thing you’re taught as a child, one of the easiest things in the world.” She stopped, her hand hovering to cover her mouth. “That was rude of me. Because they never taught you. Matou magecraft is engraved, not taught.” 

“It’s okay…” Sakura began to brush her off but Rider wasn’t having any of it! 

“No, no; you should know! What kind of nee-san doesn’t tutor her own sister?” Ishtar cleared her voice, pushing up glasses that were not her on her face a moment ago. “A Bounded Field can be one of two things: a boundary between things inside and outside of it like a fence or a ward around a home; it can also be used to cut off a space from the rest of the world using a prepared component, which is this blood; everything inside that type of Bounded Field will be affected. 

“A trap you mean? For Lancer?” 

“That’s one way of thinking about it.”  

Sakura looked thoughtful for a moment. “This wouldn’t be enough blood to cover the school.” 

Ishtar cleared her throat. “Now a Bounded Field can be small or big depending on its function. Depending on the caster’s skill will determine how noticeable it is.” 

“Why are you making small circles though?” 

“One, you are correct about the amount of blood so to save the amount of blood needed to cover the school is more than the chickens we have. Two, we don’t want it to be noticeable for another mage to destroy the Bounded Field before it activates. All eight points will connect.” 

“Why eight?” 

”Several reasons. The eight-pointed star is one of my symbols as a goddess so I can draw power to it. The number is also considered lucky but also for manifestation. It represents victory, prosperity and overcoming.” 

“Something like that is enough to make a magic circle work?” 

“As one of my professors pointed out, figuring the how a mage does magecraft is a waste of time because the method to accomplish the same outcome via magecraft could be endless. For example, starting a fire. I could use gemstones but another mage might have a powerful firestarting spell stored in their magic crest or call on the planet Mars, which represents fire. At the same time, a mage could just rub two sticks together and call it day. While the how of magecraft doesn’t matter but most basic magecraft theory is the same: equivalent exchange. You can’t get something for nothing.” 

“So, you’re drawing on your own power as a goddess through your symbols to make it work and the chickens are paying the price to use this spell,” Sakura concluded. 

Rider beamed at her. “Now you got it!” 

“And this Bounded Field,” Sakura stumbled over the foreign term, “will help Senpai?” 

“It will show him the correct path so he’ll live, at least for while he’s on school grounds.” Rider smiled a little too brightly. 

Sakura didn’t look convinced.  

“You’ve seen how fast Lancer is. I will need something to slow him down. Given his identity, simple spells won’t be enough. Cu Culainn also knows runes from the Age of Gods. But so am I.” 

Sakura frowned. “Wouldn’t it be easier to kill Lancer now instead of trapping him later? Not only that we can kill Lancer and his master since you know who they are.” 

The remark would have made mages proud. It would have made their father proud. “Except he has role to play beyond this one night. Killing him earlier means Emiya-kun can be killed by someone I don’t know about.” 

While Sakura didn’t look satisfied with the answer, she didn’t press again. Rider considered it a best-case scenario. While she did need a Bounded Field now, she certainly didn’t need it to save Shirou with. If everything went right, this killed two birds with one stone though Ishtar was aiming for something larger than birds with this little trick. 

She straightened up from her rooftop view. Once tonight was over, maybe Sakura would be willing to listen to her long enough to explain that she misinterpreted the memory by a longshot. Honestly, so stubborn! Heh, I should know better than anyone just how stubborn she can be. 

If it wasn’t all so frustrating, she would almost feel proud of her sister and Master.  

But. 

This whole thing was unnecessary! The boy would be fine. By Rule of Nasu, more than fine! He would survive near death (at the cost of a very expensive gem’s power might she add, gritting her teeth at its appraised value in monetary and mana) and summon Saber, effectively winning the Fifth Grail War. If that wasn’t luck, what was? 

Even in another timeline he would cause her so much grief… 

Until tomorrow morning, Rider would have to be patient, something she could excel at in this new life. 

~*~ 

Today was the night. She felt like a cord pull taut, on the verge of snapping. Not that snapping at anyone ever did Sakura any favours. So, she resigned herself to this model based on what she overheard her classmates discuss on what an ideal woman would be: composed, calm, feminine. She could conform to that. It was far less of a transformation than any other forced on her. 

If tonight failed… 

She did have a backup plan the more she thought about it: she could always wish Shirou back with the Holy Grail if he died. Compared to the magus family dream of finding the Root, one life was doable right? Hopefully it would not come to that, Senpai dying at all. 

Before summoning Rider, his last instruction was to see if Senpai was participating in the war, if he bore a mark like hers somewhere on his body. Sakura would be lying if she was sure whether to wish he did have one or not. He hadn’t, not even now on the morning of his hopeful survival from death. She’d covertly checked his hands as he chopped the vegetables beside her and there was still no sign; it meant Senpai was civilian mage, who had been caught in the crossfire. Otherwise, he would have fought back against Lancer in that memory. 

Senpai was the type to summon a strong Servant…unless he wasn’t chosen as a Master. With no Servant of his own to protect himself with. At least his protection was now covered…but was it enough?  

“Senpai…” Sakura called out. “I won’t be able to come and help from tonight…maybe until Monday. Is that all right?” 

Shirou continued chopping up vegetables beside her without looking up. He did smile though, a bit wistfully. “Of course it is. It's the weekend anyways. You should be hanging out with your friends, like that girl you were with last week, so don't worry about it." 

She panicked; they weren’t supposed to be seen together! He can’t see anything if he was to stay alive. Sakura waved her hands in front of herself. I'm not going off to play because it's the weekend, so please don't misunderstand me.” “ 

Realizing her overreaction, she composed herself. “It's just a personal errand, and I'll be attending the club too! S-So you can come to the dojo if anything comes up!” 

"Okay. I'll go to the dojo if something comes up." He chuckled, eyes still on the vegetables. Sakura’s shoulders drooped.  

“Senpai. I have a favour to ask you if you would do it.” This time she didn’t continue right away.  

After the moments of silence, Shirou turned to her expectantly. "Huh? Yeah, if it's something I can do." 

”Can you come home as soon as possible after school today?” 

He cocked his head to the side. "Just for today?” 

“Yes. Actually, I want you to stay in your house as much as possible...but at least today, come back home.” Sakura sputtered. 

Shirou smiled. “All right. I’ll come back home tonight then.” 

Sakura let out a sigh of relief, a breath she didn’t know she was holding. Looking at the clock, she was running out of time. “I have to leave early so I can’t join for breakfast; I have some work to do in the archery dojo.” 

“It’s no problem. I’ll see you later.” He walked her to the foyer. The girl left swiftly with a brief wave of her hand as she vanished around the main doors of the residence.  

Shirou waved back, only to find blood trailing down his right hand. “Where did this come from? Did I just cut myself in the kitchen by accident?” 

Once out of sight of the Emiya residence, Sakura quickened her stride to make it to the school earlier. Her grandfather might decide to restart their sessions she never knew with him; she never knew with anyone. To keep a sense of ‘normalcy’, their sessions were usually on weekends, so as to not draw attention to her school attendance. If he demanded this weekend, she wouldn’t be able to keep an eye on Shirou. 

It wasn’t as if she wanted to be a mage; it was what was forced on her. As overwhelming as her Servant’s information was, it was more knowledge to work with. It also made Senpai’s circumstances worse. When she was ordered to spy on him as a rival mage over the past year, she only occasionally questioned her observations in the form of yes or no; not quite a lie but not the whole truth. It wasn’t like tools had opinions and that was all she was to the Matous. From what she’d seen, Senpai practiced in the toolshed regularly the same spell, just about as frequent as the crest worm sessions were in the basement.  

Her grandfather hadn’t given her any instruction further than to represent the Matou family well in this war. In fact, he had been silent this whole time, not even requiring her to go to the basement as she had not been punished for skipping the usual time to go out with Rider or stay late at the Emiya residence. There was going to be a punishment, she just knew it, but she would worry about that later.  

There was a little apprehension at her first task once she arrived at the school: her first task was her brother. By what the Servant had told her, Shinji had asked Shirou to cover for him. If she could get the archery dojo cleaned up before then, Shirou would see there was nothing to do and go home. She had thought of intercepting Shinji while or before he could ask Senpai but knowing her brother, he would think of something else, something worse. 

“Matou. Bring these papers to Kuzuki-sensei right away. He needs to see them before classes are started.” She was handed the sheets by one of her teachers on her way to homeroom. 

For all she had on her plate she wanted to protest but she was programmed to follow orders. Her thoughts were only momentarily interrupted but resumed racing as her body went through the motions automatically. She was used to floating in her mind but usually she had better awareness of her surroundings when doing so.  

Because of his injuries, he was exempt from the archery roster. Shinji had no reason to be at the dojo. He came to practices mostly to flirt with the female members or to verbally bully his male kohai under the guise of coaching. She couldn’t trust him not to mess up the archery dojo even though he had no responsibilities to pawn off; she didn’t want him to have any reason to delegate work to Senpai. 

After classes, she would go back to the dojo to make sure there was nothing to clean there. There had been announcement that all students should leave early, which might be enough of an extra push for Shirou to go home as promised. The student council president was unlikely to ask more of him to coincide with the school order. 

The papers went flying. 

“I’ll help, Sakura.” 

She looked up, a little shocked to see the very image of the goddess but with aquamarine eyes, not red. “Ah, Tohsaka…senpai.” 

It was not her sister. Yet. 

The older girl quickly glanced at the papers. “What, handouts? World history…that’ll be my homeroom teacher.” Rin gave a derisive snort at the authority figure. “That Kuzuki, what’s he thinking making a girl do this? Here, give me half of it.” 

Sakura could only react dumbfounded as Rin took half. “Oh…yes. Thank you, Senpai.” She replied shyly. 

Rin waved it off. “It’s fine. So, are we taking these to your classroom?” 

She shook her head. “…no, I’m taking them to Kuzuki-sensei. He said he’s recalling them because there was a misspelling.” 

Rin gave a dismissive nod over that. “I understand. Kuzuki’s really stubborn. He’s the guy who cancelled a whole test just because there was one misspelling in it.” 

Sakura’s eyes widened in shock. “…huh? You mean the school’s exam?” 

“Right.” Rin closed her eyes in reminiscing. “I think it was last year’s midterm. He came in while everyone was filling in their names and said in his usual tone that the midterm has a misspelling in it. He said that the question was not correct, so the midterm was to be cancelled and retaken at a later date. We were surprised, but so were the teachers, and they still talk about it today.” 

She huffed. “That’s just like Kuzuki-sensei. He doesn’t think teachers should make any mistakes but he goes too far though. You’ll realize soon, too. Kuzuki is as stubborn as a rock or a mountain.” She nodded in agreement with herself. 

Perhaps it was because it had been days to since she had crumbs of having a sister. Sakura giggled. “Tohsaka-senpai, you must like Kuzuki-sensei. It’s rare for you to all about someone like that.” 

A light flush dusted the older girl’s cheeks. Sheepishly, she tried to explain. “Really? Well, I do think he should be more flexible, but… I think that but I also think he’s not bad this way.” 

They were about to part. “Well, you’ll get to see more of him once you reach second year. He teaches ethics too.” She seemed to consider her words. “More importantly…Sakura, is it all right if I ask you something?” 

“Huh? What is it Senpai?” 

“It’s about yesterday. Were you talking to a strange foreigner?” 

Her sister was watching her?! Her shocked eyes caused Rin to withdraw a little, remembering their circumstances. 

“Oh…y-you were watching, Senpai?” She thought she had felt someone watching. It wouldn’t have been the goddess since she ordered her to keep watch over Shirou. 

“Just by chance. So, what was it? Do you know him?” 

“…No. Well, he was a strange person and he seemed to be lost. He asked me a lot of things, but I couldn’t make out what he was saying, so um…” 

Sensing the breach of etiquette, Rin backpedaled. “I see. Sorry, I was just a bit curious.” 

“No, it’s all right…Um, here is fine, Senpai. I only have to hand these to him now.” 

“Okay. See you later then.” Rin passed the handouts back to Sakura. She was about to go before she paused again. Her aquamarine eyes shone almost like broken glass, with a light dying in them. 

“Sakura, how are things?” 

“Ah…yes, it’s okay. I’m doing fine.” 

“…I see. Well, if Shinji does something again, tell me. He doesn’t know when to stop, so it will only get worse if you don’t say anything.” 

Sakura smiled, brushing it off. “It’s fine. You don’t need to worry, Senpai. Nee-san has been kind recently.” 

Internally the older girl was ready to combust. Or test her ears in the bathroom again. Rin stumbled over an unladylike goodbye, dashing away at the fastest speed dignity would allow, in the opposite direction. 

~*~ 

Shirou had just finished packing up and was about to leave his homeroom class when a familiar figure blocked his exit. 

"Oh, Emiya?" There, stood Shinji directly in his path, with a pair of female schoolmates flanking him.  

"You’re still here even though you have nothing to do?” Shinji asked in faux surprise. He closed into Shirou’s personal space. “Oh yeah, you were sticking up for the student council again, right? I envy you. You can get good reports from the school without doing any club activities." 

The implication was clear, but Shirou was having none of it. “I'm not only helping the student council. It's only natural for a student to fix the school equipment, right? After all, we're the ones using them." 

Shinji’s sneer grew painfully wider. "Heh, keep talking like that. For you, everything is natural. Didn't I tell you that I hate how you act like a good kid?" 

Same old Shinji. Shirou had enough of fires in his life. “Hm?…Sorry, I don’t remember that. I thought that was just the sort of thing you say, so I don’t really notice it.” 

There was a snarl before Shinji remembered himself and his audience. “Then you’re going to fix everything at this school?” 

“Fixing everything would be impossible. The most I can do is take care of things.” 

“All right, then do me a favor. Our archery club is in kind of a mess right now. It's a bit disordered, and some of the bows need strings attached. If you have time, can you do that too? For the whole month even. You used to be a member. Don't just stick to the student council, and you should be useful to us sometimes as well." 

The two girls gasped between themselves a little loudly in shock at the magnitude of his request to a non-member. To cover for a shift was one thing but to ask for an entire month? Shinji ignored them, pressing on. 

“As you can see,” he gestured at his cast. He regretted the motion instantly, his mouth contorting into a grimace but then again it wasn’t a stretch out of his normal expressions to anyone who knew him. He waved off the girls coming to comfort him. “I am injured. Surely, you’ve been healed for some time now to help a friend. After all, you were covered during your own injury.” 

“Please Emiya-kun.” One of the girls pleaded, her hands clasped together in front. Her eyes lingered back to the boy in pain before darting to the one who was not. The dojo was found to be a mess this afternoon and with Shinji’s injuries, Fujimura-sensei had to reassign the cleaning schedule to the remaining members, including themselves. Their vice-captain had invited them out, reassuring them he had the cleaning duties already covered… 

Shinji straightened himself as much as he could. Unseen by others were the bruises marking his back from where he landed after the bitch of a Servant attacked him. His body wanted nothing more than to curl into a ball but personal pride forced him to stand straight.  

"I'll leave it to you, then. The key's in the usual place, so go ahead.” He said blithely. “You don't mind, right Emiya?" 

"No. I have some free time today. I might not be able to cover every day but the least I can do is return the care the archery club gave me; I’ll figure something out." 

The other boy’s smile was a little too gleeful. "Haha, thanks! Let's go, everyone. He says he'll do the boring chores for us!" 

"Oh yes, please take care of the cleaning, Senpai." One of the girls shouted before remembering enough manners to bow in gratitude. 

“Of course.” Shirou answered. “You get some rest, Shinji.” 

The other boy snorted in distaste; his eyes narrowed. However, he said nothing as his two female companions led him away, even though he wanted to. As painful and inconvenient the injury was, it did have the benefit of people treating him more respectfully, so he would continue pressing the advantage it brought about. 

It had boiled his blood when he saw the archery dojo spotless and prepped for the tomorrow’s practice session when he went by during lunch period. There wasn’t even a single bow that needed string reattached! Under normal circumstances, Shinji would have patted himself on the back because it would be no work for him as part of his vice-captain duties but these weren’t normal circumstances. 

He walked in, keeping his outdoor shoes on, tracking grime onto the wooden floors. For good measure he kicked a few of the bows, knocking them over. He pulled paper and notebooks out of the wood cubbies, dropping them without care but with purpose. The boy had tried to push over the makiwara targets but ended up agitating his shoulder more. He doubled over in pain on his knees. It didn’t stop him from punching the straw in frustration for his weakness, even though there were witnesses to see it. Shinji was less than satisfied with the mess as he could have done more…if only. 

Every night that ungrateful “sister” of his came home late, which hadn’t gone unnoticed but the Matou patriarch never called her out on it either. More than once he’d seen Sakura out with her Servant in the shopping districts after school; he had told his grandfather as much. Did the old man care? No; Shinji was ignored, brushed aside as always. So, all Shinji could do now was bide his time. 

Even though he was out of the loop of the Matou’s war plans, Shinji knew what was going on. Gas leaks? Disappearances? The Fifth Holy Grail War was already well underway, which meant that any non-mage (or of non-mage families) would be taken care of if a civilian saw more than they were supposed to. With any luck, Emiya would get caught in a crossfire on the way home. His luck could only hold out so well for a month.  

By why have luck when you could have a guarantee? While he couldn’t see the Servant, he had heard Sakura talking to Rider about some sort of spell at the school…wouldn’t that be perfect if whatever spell they were cooking together happen to cook her little crush? It would show both of them; it would show all of them! 

Shirou sighed as he watched his old friend take his leave. Whatever Shinji had gotten himself into couldn’t have been good with an injury like that. Not to mention the force necessary to cause the whole arm to be popped out of its socket. Taiga had mentioned Shinji could possibly be off of archery for the whole season, depending on how he healed in the next few weeks. Mitzururi considered this an improvement. Still, Shirou was going to help where he could and maybe it would be enough. 

He headed to the archery dojo and hesitated. The light was on but no one else should be here. All members should have left by now with the sun setting. Shirou crept against the wall till he could peek through the door. His shoulders relaxed first, seeing the fall of violet hair held back by a red ribbon. 

“Sakura?” 

The girl turned, smiling. Her hands gripped a bucked and a couple of rags in her other hand. “I overheard nii-san earlier. There is no reason you should do this alone.” 

Shirou accepted one of the rags. “I would have managed.” 

“I know but it will be faster with two.” 

~*~ 

“Archer.” The girl called to her Servant’s back, keeping her distance. “I won’t help you. Show me your powers here.” 

Ishtar mouthed her present self’s words to Lancer. The Boundary Field came in handy; her younger self was about to poke at it when the Irish hero appeared. She had been watching Sakura all day. Sakura went early to clean the club. Even though all club practices had been canceled, the first thing the girl did when the last bell rang was head to the archery dojo, hoping to intercept her brother by taking on the cleaning task. He had accepted her offer as his due but still went to Shirou. 

Since that plan obviously failed, it was her part to make sure Lancer didn’t touch Shirou. 

At least she had a show in the meantime. Ishtar lounged back on the tree trunk, the foliage providing cover from other eyes while giving her a great view of the beefcake spectacle. Both Servants were excellent specimens and in top form; something that could not be said for all Servants summoned. In ancient times in her city of patronage Uruk, warriors fought in her honour for her grace and favour and she always did enjoy those shows. 

He wasn’t bad-looking but then again, she always did have a thing for hero types…and look at where that brought her. A wave of nausea rippled through her, stopping the merry stroll down memory lane. 

“Who’s there?” Lancer bellowed at the sound of clumsy footsteps. Yards away she could make out a thatch of red hair starting to move away. 

That was her cue!  

Ishtar stretched out her legs, one by one, before dashing forth. 

The Hound of Cuchlain had already veered in the direction of the intruder’s footsteps. The girl and her Archer Servant were the only participants on the school grounds. This he was sure of when he scouted them before attacking. Which meant…he was about to bring death to someone who didn’t know better. 

He sighed, there was no honour in that. Perhaps this was why he followed a warrior’s path rather than a spellcaster’s as it was a spellcaster who already decided the boy’s fate. Hound he might be nicknamed but his eyes were more than sharp enough to catch sight of the red-headed youth who had fled into the surrounding buildings. 

A sharp whistle was the only warning Lancer got but it was more than enough, more than he needed. This time it was the quick lass on the ground. 

He still couldn’t get a good glimpse of Rider’s face even though she was pinned beneath him. Her hood somehow stayed on during their tumble and rolling on the ground. He reached for it but was stopped by her own hand on his wrist and that same Cheshire smile beneath her hood. Her other hand placed a finger to his lips. He understood the invitation. Lancer groaned…why of all things did he have that priest for a Master. 

The rest of her hand joined her finger as she not so gently shoved him away. However, it would take more than a woman no matter how pretty to distract him, but he doubted she was only going to use her feminine wiles to distract him.  

“You know the rules: no witnesses.” 

“What will it be Lancer? The boy or me?” 

The man in blue gave her a cursory glance, up to down. “So, I have to get past you first?” 

She dusted herself off, audibly cracked her knuckles in front of him. She knew what he wanted. In return, he chuckled with a light-hearted shrug. “Who am I to deny a lady?” 

While he might not be able to go full out again due to his orders, he was allowed to defend himself within reason. Besides, he always did like a challenge. He twirled his spear, positioning it behind him as his legs assumed a battle-ready stance. “Tell me lass, what if I want both?” 

“So greedy. I don’t share.” She snarled giggling as she rushed at him again.  

Lancer too bolted towards her. Let’s see if she was truly fast enough! 

~*~ 

Shirou wondered if he was going to die: his mind on an endless loop of the last few minutes over and over again but this situation was not like a piece of old equipment to be analyzed and fixed.  

To think, his last thought of watching that fight was how the one in red was going to to die and it was something he couldn’t ignore. 

Shirou ran as fast as he could, ducking into a hallway after hallway. He almost lost his footing at the building’s entrance but regained it at the cost of precious seconds. He ran like prey with no plan in mind, just an action to escape death. 

“How stupid of me.” Why had he run into the deserted school, a dead end that might be the place of his end. He should have run into town to get away but here he was instead. At least Sakura would be safe having left moments ago. He had told her he would catch up with her. He was the foolish one to turn back to the school when he heard the sound of metal clashing. 

There had to be somewhere he could hide, somewhere close to an exit that he could use to escape once the coast was clear. The boy had made it partially up the stairs, perhaps on instinct that he would be safe on higher ground. Normally he would be correct but these were not normal circumstances. 

Shirou ducks into the first classroom he finds exiting the staircase.  

He tried to control his breathing, his feet stopping and then bending under his body as he leans against the teacher’s desk at the front. The boy looks up at the closed door, wondering if he had closed it in his haste without thinking. He couldn’t even remember the sound of the door being shut. 

One breath after another as controlled as he could to his frantic pumping heart. Shirou takes in his surroundings; perhaps he’s safe? The only sound he can hear is air entering and exiting through his nose and the ticking of the classroom clock.  

What was it that he just saw? The beings who were fighting were like humans but something in Shirou told him that they weren’t. There was someone else too but at this moment he couldn’t remember what the figure looked like. If he was to be honest with himself, just the sight of those two fighting was enough to hold his attention from anything else. 

There were footsteps coming down the hall, echoing in the empty space. Footsteps of one person in a steady gate. Shirou didn’t believe in gods but even the most desperate of times could make unbelievers pray. He prayed they’d pass by and forget all about him. 

But then again, Shirou Emiya was never that lucky. 

The door opened, creaking into a squeak at the old hinges. 

Scared to attract their attention again by moving, Shirou let his eyes wander around the classroom for something, anything he could possibly reach and maybe, definitely foolishly, defend himself with.  

Footsteps resumed, one by one, into the classroom. They stopped before the line of desks.  

Again, Shirou mentally pleaded for them to go away.  

There was no sound, no movement. Was the predator merely surveying the room? Was it contemplating where he would have hidden. 

Each breath Shirou silently took now was only out of necessity, the absolute bare minimum.  

The clock’s ticking second hand was maddening. Why was his pursuer moving? 

“Boo.”  

~*~ 

Shirou let out a far more undignified screech than he would have liked.  

Sakura giggled. “You didn’t catch up with me Senpai. Did you somehow get lost?” 

Shirou sighed in relief, grabbing her by the shoulders to bring her closer, only realizing at the last moment what he was doing. He let go just as abruptly. If she was able to walk in here, whatever that thing was hadn’t seen her yet. They needed to go! 

“We need to leave. Now.” He was already thinking of the most efficient way out of the building and hopefully they wouldn’t be followed. 

Sakura nodded in agreement. “It’s getting late. We should go home. You will go home, right senpai?” Her look left no room for argument but they were already walking briskly to the front doors and out the main entrance. They travelled up until their paths diverged between the foreigner area and the northern end of Miyama Town. 

Again, Shirou looked at her with concern. Nothing had followed them and they quite a distance away from the school now. He looked up the path leading to the southern Miyama Town. “As your senpai, I should be making sure you go home.” 

“If you want to set a good example for your kohai, you should follow through with what you promised this morning. Don’t worry.” Sakura smiled politely towards north Miyama Town, before turning away and walking in the other direction. ”Nee-san is coming.” 

She looked behind and was relieved that he didn’t follow her to escort her home again. Indeed, he was heading towards where the Emiya residence was located, as promised. When he was an appropriate distance away, Rider reappeared.  

Before she could speak though…there, in the air. A man in a red mantle and a girl with long, dark hair in his arms. Sakura didn’t doubt where they were heading. She turned to her Servant, eyes narrowed. “You were supposed to kill Lancer.” 

“Your exact orders and I quote were ‘protect Senpai until the end, no matter what happens in the future—please protect Emiya Shirou as if he were your Master until the Holy Grail War is over,’” Ishtar held two fingers up with each point, “which does not require killing Lancer until Fate says so.” 

“We’re going to the Emiya residence. We need to get there before Lancer…” The girl froze as memories of that dream were dredged up. 

The goddess sighed but did not argue though her annoyance was quite clear but the look on Sakura’s face was as steadfast as her resolve. The red scooter appeared in front of them. “As is your wish.”  

Overhead, Sakura could see Rin and her Servant leaping from rooftop to rooftop. It surprised her when Rider revved the engine, the scooter taking off at a breakneck speed that would have impressed Fujimura-sensei as it raced up the hill and into the residential area. They were going so fast that Sakura lost sight of the pair as they too sped ahead, unhindered by physical barriers like fences and roads. “Rider, hurry!” 

Rider seemed to be in agreement as the scooter sped up even faster than possible of an ordinary scooter. Sakura had ridden with Fujimura-sensei enough times to know the top speed of one. She gripped her Servant’s waist tighter. Sakura could barely make out their surroundings because of the speed they were going but she knew this area by heart that she didn’t need to see every street sign or landmark. Which was why she knew her Servant was going the wrong way. 

Sakura didn’t get a chance to protest. Rider took a sharp turn, still blocks away from the Emiya residence, down one street of homes, rotating the scooter at a 90° angle before it skidded a few feet; the dust barely having time to settle. One snakeskin boot stepped onto the ground to steady the vehicle before her Servant disappeared. 

Something had to be wrong if Rider had to disappear. Something had to be happening to Senpai right this second. 

The girl took off on foot, running those last few blocks necessary to close the distance between them. She made it in time to see the unmistaken blur of blue and red that was Lancer as he leapt to the residence wall, leapt again, and then further away. Sakura’s eyes narrowed at the fleeing shadow. 

They weren’t the only ones. She would recognize those twintails and that back anywhere. Sakura had mostly only seen her that way these past few years. Rin must have arrived shortly before she did as the older girl approached the door in a hurry. 

Rin didn’t get a chance to reach the door when she appeared. 

Beauty. A woman in armour with something clutched in her hand but Sakura couldn’t see. 

“Who?” But Sakura knew who. She had seen this woman before. 

She felt a firm yank as Rider pulled her behind the corner of the street, just in time to miss the Servant in red’s gaze as he turned his head to observe behind him. He stared at the corner, narrowing his eyes, before turning back towards the armoured woman. 

After a few moments, Rider must have deemed it safe enough because her head was just slightly around the corner. She peeked as well just as cautious, partly concealed by the shadows of the streetlamps.  

The blonde woman’s blade was inches from Rin’s face; her own Servant Archer, the one in red, behind her. Staring in confusion, the dark-haired girl visibly gulped, eyes unsure like she didn’t know how she herself ended up in this position. The man behind her also sported confused as to how he appeared there but he didn’t look behind again. 

“Saber. King Arthur of Britain, the prophesied saviour of their darkest hour, the King of Knights, and wielder of Excalibur.” Seeing the shock of recognition on Sakura’s face, Rider continued, the look on Rider’s face was every bit as hungry and exhausted, huffing and puffing like she ran a marathon but controlling her breaths to be as quiet as possible.  “That’s a winning summon ticket if I ever saw one.” 

That woman was a Servant! 

“Saber.” Sakura whispered. 

Saber lowered her weapon from the other Rin’s face and Shirou burst out of the main doors with what looked like a bent staff in his hand but looking no worse for wear.  

“As I said: he didn’t die.” Sakura pulled herself back to face Rider. For once, Ishtar didn’t look like her sister as she did now. In spite of all her radiance, she looked tired. “It wasn’t fair. No magic crest, no mage lineage to speak of, and he summons a Saber, the best of all seven classes. The only thing he could die from is his own self-righteousness and stupidity.” 

She couldn’t yell but Sakura could hear the bite in the woman’s words so much like Rin’s. 

Rider watched her mirror image barely get out of the way by the skin of her teeth. Beside her, Sakura froze again taking in the sight of Saber. “Senpai…is a Master?” 

Her Servant huffed, “I tried to tell you.” 

How could she have been so stupid?! Sakura thought back to the last few days of interrogating her Servant in preparation for this night. Never once did she ask of the blonde woman from the dream memories; never once did she even count, or she would have noticed only six Servants were accounted for.  

With all the Servants summoned, that left only one class. The one Rin wanted. 

By Rider’s voice of envy (and Sakura understood envy well) she was not mincing words of her admiration of Saber being the best Servant of this war…of course Senpai wouldn’t need any help from her…she had nothing to contribute after all. 

Sakura wanted to ask more but Rider was already dragging her to the scooter as they took off. For the first time, holding Rider’s waist felt like an embrace rather than a vice. She didn’t know where her Servant was taking her but she didn’t care. She wasn’t needed. 

They didn’t head back to the Matou house. Instead, Rider was taking them in the direction of Fuyuki bridge towards the newer Shinto area of the city. The scooter didn’t go over the bridge, turning instead at the riverside park and following along the Mion River. They stopped just before harbor was in sight.  

Rider dismounted and extended a hand to the younger girl. Numbly, Sakura took it and allowed herself to be seated at a park bench. She waited for the inevitable. 

Her sister sighed, slouching into the spot next to her, taking the ritzy sunglasses off her head. She handed them to Sakura who looked at her in question. 

“Put them on.” Rider gently ordered.  

Sakura complied. She gasped at the sight of Shirou, Rin, and Saber in a bright yellow rain poncho as they walked together crossing the big bridge. Taking them off, she only saw the river before them. She put them back on and saw the trio again. 

“They should be crossing Fuyuki Bridge right about now.” Rider stated. 

“Where are they going?” 

“If memory serves, they’re heading to Fuyuki Church. He’s in no danger. Emiya-kun is having the Holy Grail War explained to him by myself and the creepy priest.” 

“Creepy priest?” At those words, Sakura wondered, just what kind of life did Rin really live all these years outside of what she showed the world. 

“Kotomine Kirei. My guardian after the last Holy Grail War and our father never came home.” Rider’s voice was clipped. “He’s as untrustworthy as he is knowledgeable.” Seeing the girl’s expression, she added, “Emiya-kun is safe for now but Saber will be guarding the door just outside when they arrive.” 

Sakura watched in silence as the events played out as her sister described. She could hear their conversations like she was in the same room. By the time the priest mentioned the 4th Holy Grail War, she heard enough. Besides, she knew the outcome of that war. 

There were no sounds except for her own breath. The two girls remained silent before Sakura felt brave enough to ask the one question she should have. 

“Does Senpai live?”  

“Does he look like he’s accepted fighting as a Master? Does he still have the command spells on his right hand?” 

“Yes.” Rider seemed to have finally caught her breath as she let out the one that she had been holding for a long time. 

“Then yes. Despite everything, yes.” Sakura’s shoulders slumped in defeat, not in the relief she had hoped for tonight’s end. Of course, that was the outcome of this war. 

She continued to watch the scene play out. The trio had left the church and Sakura had seen that familiar expression on Rin’s face many a time when they had played card games oh so many years ago. “You look like you’re offering a truce to Senpai? Your Servant looks like he’s disappeared somewhere.” 

Her sister huffed. “Because my present self has too many morals for this war. And far more honour than is required.” 

The three were stopped on the hill to part ways. Rin was turning to leave when she must have heard something or someone. That someone as a little snow fairy, who stood beside the giant, his skin flashing crimson. She politely curtsied with her hands spreading her purple coat. Sakura’s eyes became vacant as she kept watch through the dark lenses, recalling images from a previous night sleeping of another life. 

Of a behemoth with a glowing red eye against a blonde woman. The behemoth roared: it shouldn’t have been able to move that fast for its size but it was the brute offspring of lightning and thunder. His opponent was beautiful and lithe with eyes like green glass. It was David versus Goliath but this David was losing. 

“Berserker and Illyasviel von Einzbern have arrived haven’t they?” Rider’s voice cut through in the background. 

Sakura turned unseeing to the sound of her sister getting up. Taking off the sunglasses, she sees her Servant in a Homurahara Academy school uniform. 

“Why are you dressed like that?” 

“Because that’s my cue.” 

If those were Servants with inhuman speed and vigor, Sakura wasn’t sure she was ready to watch her sister’s body do the same, even after seeing her in actual combat 

“If Senpai has Saber, why do you need to go?” 

Her sister sighed. “Because nothing is ever for certain. There are many situations Emiya-kun, in theory, will be okay but could slide down the scale to the reality that he won’t. Therefore I have to intervene in every situation I believe he could die in because of the possibility of his death there already. If he were my Master, that’s what I would do.” 

Before leaving, Rider embraced the girl, pulling her in tight. “Stay here. Any closer and my mortal self will know you are here.” 

“She would?” 

“I’ve always kept an eye on you and always will.” Sakura couldn’t read the expression on Rider’s face, the way the woman stared at her with forlorn eyes, as if her eyes would shatter like glass in a moment. She had seen eyes like that before. 

Rin’s aquamarine eyes shone almost like broken glass, with a light dying in them.  

“It’s about yesterday. Were you talking to a strange foreigner?” 

Her sister was watching her?! Her shocked eyes caused Rin to withdraw a little, remembering their circumstances. 

“Oh…y-you were watching, Senpai?” She thought she had felt someone watching. It wouldn’t have been the goddess since she ordered her to keep watch over Shirou. 

Rin was always there but she didn’t see it… 

“I’m letting you see through my eyes so you’ll know what is going on but you must promise to stay here otherwise I can’t promise Emiya-kun’s safety.” 

“But the command spells…” 

Ishtar inclined her head to the remaining mark on Sakura’s left hand. “You are still my Master and I can’t have split loyalties.” 

Before the girl could protest, the goddess shoved a palm up in front of her face to stop her. “Also don’t think using the last one will make you no longer my Master. I chose you and accepted our contract.” 

She turned her head back. 

“No matter how hard it is, don’t come down there or leave here until I tell you to.” 

It was that same beautiful fearlessness from the other night near the arcade. “Okay.” Sakura acquiesced.  

Since her Servant was following her true orders, Senpai would be safe…but… 

~*~ 

As a goddess, she was used to requests and prayer made in her glorious name; this however was a command and she loathed it by nature. Sure she could have used magic but as inconvenient as this handicap was, it was a necessary evil. 

On one hand, she wanted to applaud Sakura as she was quick to realize the limitations of her first command unlike her own first experience with a particularly stubborn Servant. Unfortunately, it reminded Rider of the problem on the other hand: there was more than one Emiya Shirou she had to deal with in this war. She had not forgotten the idiocy of Shirou, as dear a friend as he was. Protecting him would take quite a bit of effort on end, especially to hide her identity. 

Emiya-kun, even without being in my presence, you’re a pain in my ass. Of course this wouldn’t be easy.  

Rider made it in time to take the first blow. Shirou had reached for Rin’s hand only to miss as Rider wrapped her arms from him, pulling him away from her doppelganger, before dropping him to the ground, making him stumble and roll till he could regain his footing. Shirou shakily got back on his legs.   

A flurry of arrows had flown through the air only to make contact with Berserker’s sword as he swatted them away like insects.  The behemoth roared; it shouldn’t have been able to move this fast for its size, but it was the brute offspring of lightning and thunder. There were few heroes that could match that description. They were facing Herakles, one of the greatest of Ancient Greece. 

Saber, for her true identity, was only keeping up with each blow and parry, unable to truly attack given her opponent’s agility. She even admitted she was impressed that even through his class’ madness, his sword skills, his skills in general, were not to be taken lightly. 

For her part, Rin wasn’t a slouch either as she threw a handful of gems in a glorious explosion combined with her Servant’s arrows. It was enough of a distraction for Saber to catch her breath and flee, away from the young Masters, towards the mass of graves. Berserker rampaged after her. Sirens could be heard in the background as Illya disappeared into the darkness of the cemetery. 

Rin turned to Shirou. “If you can, try to run away.” She gestures at the crater from Berserker’s first strike that almost hit them both. “You might not be so lucky next time!” 

She didn’t wait for his answer, running after the two Servants. It wasn’t a problem if he heard her or not but whether he decided to listen to her. 

He curses himself for his weakness but he had to do something. But what could he do against a monster like that? The sound of swords and crashing reverberate through the night. Why was he alive if he didn’t do something?! Saber…she was doing something even if she wasn’t winning. He could do no less as her Master, as partners. Shirou got up and started his pursuit towards the gravestones. 

Shirou calls for Saber with no response so he crested the hill before him. 

He keeps running, following the trail of destruction until a figure slides down the from the side of the path. They almost passed each other with comical timing without outright colliding into each other before the girl straightened. 

“Tohsaka?”  

“Emiya-kun…” The girl whispers before remembering their situation. “Don’t you ‘Tohsaka’ me!” 

She throws herself at the boy, grabbing his wrist before twisting it and him against a tree trunk. "What are you thinking!? I told you to run away, right!? Or did you not hear me!?" 

Her anger was apparent; her eyes narrowing and his arm was twisted more to emphasize her point. He huffed. “I heard you but I can’t just run away.” 

Though he couldn’t see her face, he could tell that was not the answer she wanted to hear. "What!? How could you reach that conclusion!? Can't you tell that you'll only be a bother to us since you can't fight!? It can't be helped if you die trying to make a difference, but it'd be meaningless if you die doing nothing!"    Courage is the absence of fear; Shirou had either heard or read from somewhere before. It wasn’t like he didn’t know fear. He was all too aware of the physical signs of his body feeling fear. Perhaps it was not courage but when the inborn survival instinct he used to suppress the shaking to push forward.  

“Why are you getting mad over that?” He spat out. “If I die for nothing, what business is it of yours?” 

His answer incensed the girl. “It is my business! I told you I'd let you go for all of today, so if you refuse to go home, you’re making trouble. For me!"   

Shirou noticed that compared to the girl he saw every day, Tohsaka sure had a different face on at school. She continued her tirade. “That Ilyasviel girl intends to slaughter us all."    "I know that. But I can't run away. Saber's fighting her hardest, so I’m not about to leave her."    "…That's a line for someone who can make a difference. You'll just die a meaningless death, as you can't do anything to support her. “With that she shoves him away and the boy uses the opportunity to run back towards the battle. “This is your last warning. Just run away.” 

If Shirou thought to turn back around, he would have noticed the ruby eyes of the girl who stepped into the light, her face morphing into a satisfied smile. 

When the sounds of battle are faint and he could not see any more fallen debris, Shirou knew he had gone the wrong direction. He turns around, back to the direction he came from till he enters a clearing. From here he could see gravestones pulverized; the unlucky bystanders of a knight versus a monster. Shirou could just make out the blur of blue as Saber weaved through physical barriers that were hindrances to a mammoth body, leaving the brute no choice but to demolish whatever was in its path. 

He couldn’t look away, even at its savagery. Saber had landed the blow, her sword briefly visible as light burst through it and Berserker, slicing him half and his head exploding back. She had done it. 

It was short-lived. Just as easily as the look of relief appeared on Saber’s face did it vanish. Slow but not slow enough did the pieces of Berserker rewind back into their proper place. The beast of a warrior actually faltered before fully regenerating. 

Right then… 

"Archer…? What do you mean, get away…?" It was Rin’s voice again, Shirou was sure of it. 

As he ran towards Tohsaka’s confused voice, Shirou felt the target painted over his back. He turned his head and there! On a rooftop hundreds of meters away was the red knight readying his bow. Something was off; Shirou couldn’t explain it but he knew. 

Ready. 

Aim. 

Fire. 

“Saber !!!” He calls out as he runs past Rin at full speed towards his Servant. 

Saber, hearing her Master’s voice, stops her attack on Berserker, dumbfounded. Just a little closer was all Shirou need. 

“W-Why did you come out…Are you insane Master…!”  The boy gathers Saber in his arms and jumps away. "We'll talk later! Just come this way " 

His eyes were open. He saw his leap bypass further as his body was Reinforced. The beast attacks the incoming arrow, if the projectile could even be considered a mere “arrow”. Shirou felt the heat, the loss of sound, so familiar a dream as he threw himself on top of Saber. The blinding light only lasts a second. 

There’s a moment of silence between all parties: two girls standing by the sides opposite each other, the knight and her Master, the behemoth behind them, and the distant Servant on a rooftop kilometers away.  

Berserker seemed to lose it. Grabbing his stone club, he runs towards the pair on the ground. Saber pushes her Master away only to see the Servant was not after her but the boy. At the last second, he seemed to vanish and reappear a short distance away. Saber’s eyes widened…she had seen this type of magecraft before…by another. 

Except it didn’t stop there.  

Blow after blow it went. Illya’s voice rang like a clear bell, ordering Berserker to go after to go after Saber, to violate and end her, to ignore the rabble; but Berserker kept going. He would pounce on the boy with all his might, only for the boy to dodge the attack a short distance, faster than the eye could see.  

“Berserker stop.” The giant snarled, straining his metaphysical leash but ultimately stilled by his small Master’s command spell. 

“It seems onii-chan is full of surprises,” the girl giggled an unhappy sound. “Bet you think you’re so clever pretending not to be a mage.” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Saber helped me.” Shirou protested too much for Illya’s liking. 

“Oh, I don’t doubt she is.” Her eyes examined him top to bottom and back, like a specimen to be cut up and dissected to see how it ticked. He hid his mana use very well, just like someone she remembered. 

“Along with the Emiya family crest. I see Kiristugu passed it down to you after all,” she said too sharply, the words cutting both ways. “I would recognize his signature Time Alter anywhere, anytime.” 

“Time Alter…” Rin repeated slowly. “Emiya-kun,” she narrowed her eyes as well to the offending boy. How could she have been so stupid? So naive.  

It explained how he moved faster than her eyes with Reinforcement could follow and probably how he could summon a Saber class Servant. Of course he was a mage…and a better one than her if he could fool her. If her act at school was an amateur stage production, the boy in front of her was a professional on the world stage. 

“Next time we meet, Emiya we’ll be enemies.” Rin turned away, her voice clipped, unable to look at her mistake. To think, she almost offered an alliance with this liar. “Come on Archer.” 

“What just happened?” Shirou spun his head in confusion. 

“We have much to discuss, Master.” Somehow the knight in shining armour made the title an insult. “Apparently I’ve underestimated you.” She turned towards the direction of the Emiya residence and the boy followed.  

~*~ 

Sakura saw everything through Rider’s sunglasses. For all that occurred under the Matou roof, Sakura bore the brunt of the physical cruelty. Still how foolish it was for her to believe it would be enough to prepare her for this. Even before she summoned a Servant, Sakura didn’t want to face anyone in this war, especially those whom she treasured above everything else.  

It wasn’t until not just the concept of facing Rin in this war but the reality of watching Rin get hurt did she understand a new fear. It turns out she was right for not wanting to fight in this war, any war: she had no stomach for watching her sister, her hero, get hurt. She knew pain too well not to miss the twinge on Rin’s face each time she fired her gem attacks, each time she used her magic circuits, now that Sakura could see the familiar price Rin too paid for being a mage. 

Rationally she remembered her nee-san was merged with a goddess and thus could withstand more than a mere mortal but all she see was her sister’s face made worse in that school uniform. She didn’t look any different to the sister she watched from afar for years. It made Sakura unprepared for the first blow. The girl felt many blows in her short life but she knew from that experience these were tenfold. Each time the giant rushed, Rider pulled Shirou out of harm’s way without a scratch to him though the same couldn’t be said for her Servant by what Sakura saw of the giant’s limbs connecting to her body.  

Unlike the first fight with Lancer, although Rider was moving faster, Sakura’s Servant was not winning. Based on everything they talked about this night (and many other nights had she been better enough to listen), it became painfully clear as Sakura figured the original events of this fight did not need Rider or her own interference. Because of her, her sister had to hide in the shadows to keep from changing this night; she could not fight this demi-god and was further reduced to tanking unnecessary hits just for a boy who already had good fortune on his side as far as this supernatural war went. 

If only she had listened…why bother doing the right thing if you were going to mess up? 

This is by your command, her venomous mind whispered. You caused this. What’s next? Senpai dying for your honour once your nee-san is used up? 

In that moment, Sakura was so, so, glad that there was no one she cared for this way in the Matou household because she had no doubt she would actually have given in long before if there was. What is it like to have hope after all? The thought didn’t make her feel braver; instead she was very afraid. She had more to lose. Her violet eyes unfocused into the void. 

From behind, a familiar voice hacking air and more startled her out of the abyss. Sakura turned around, her hands shaking too much as she took off the sunglasses to the sight before her. 

Rider laid indignantly on a public street bench, clutching at her sides. Blood crusted in her hair and stained the school uniform. Her sister let out a coughing fit, straining her body as it tried to curl into a ball and straighten at the same time. It was the most unmade Sakura had ever seen her sister.  

And it was all Sakura’s fault. 

“Gomennasai!” The childish apology stumbled out, “I am so sorry nee-san. I should have listened to you!” 

She dropped to her knees in front of the bench, lowering her head in penance. Instead of the expectant blow, she felt a gentle hand resting on top of her head. “There, there,” the hand raised and descended softly in a repeated motion, “you didn’t know better. If I was a better nee-san, you would have.”  

“You’re not mad at me?” Sakura braced herself but dared to look up at Rider. 

Her sister huffed. “I’m annoyed at you but no I’m not mad at you.” She winced and curled up further into a ball. Were bodies always this frail? A huff of annoyance and she forced herself to lay straight again on the bench. “Just wished sometimes you weren’t so stubborn.” 

“Oh.” Sakura drooped, head, shoulders and all. 

Rider chuckled though her ribs hated her. Lungs too leading the revolt. Physical bodies could be such a pain. “That’s what makes you so amazing and don’t you ever forget it!” 

“Is there…is there anything I can do to help?” Sakura didn’t even know where to begin as this was beyond any injury outside of herself. 

“No, no. I have this covered. Just need to catch my breath is all.” Rider pulled herself into a proud sitting position but then slumped her head against Sakura’s shoulder. “I remembered he was a brute but that Berserker was all Buster, Buster, Buster.” 

The older woman’s head shot up in realization. “Actually all three of them back there are, including me! Well if I was an Archer that is…” 

Sakura nodded through Servant’s ramblings. Clearly her sister took more injury to her head in the altercation. “I’m sorry.” 

“No worries. Water under the bridge.” Her sister beamed, straightening up with more success this time.  

“We still fought when we didn’t need to. Because of me. Because I didn’t listen to you.” 

Rider bellowed in laughter, despite her body’s protests. “Sakura, you make it sound like we never fight in the future. Between you and me, we can get really at it but we make up afterwards. It’s going to take more than this before we stop being sisters.” 

She wanted to be believe her sister’s words. She should have trusted her sister’s words. Instead of the boy who Sakura now knew was safe as the night was almost over, it was her nee-san who needed her now. Sakura stood up enough to still be hunched down to shoulder her sister, adjusting most of the older girl’s weight onto herself.  

“If I was better_,“ she mumbled as they started towards the Matou manor. It was going to be a long walk from here. She would do it though, for her nee-san. 

“You will be.” Turning the arm that was slung over the younger girl’s shoulder  to wrap around her back, her sister embraced her with the familiar warmth she always craved. “☆I will be right by your side every step of the way!☆”  

~*~ 

After yesterday night, Shirou had a mind fuller than his emptied stomach. It had been a weird enough past couple of days with strangers either threatening him or giving him cryptic messages, for which he wasn’t sure if he was the intended recipient or just the unfortunate passerby who was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Shirou was beginning to suspect it was the latter because he had always been unlucky. 

Not long into the trek back to the Emiya residence, did Shirou start swaying. His gait becoming uneven with each step. Saber turned just in time to notice the boy falling over and rushed to his side to steady him. She shouldered his weight but his legs started to give, so she had to swing his body into her arms, behind his back and under his legs. Shirou leaned into her more and more…then proceeded to retch on to the King of Knights.  

It was a great start to their eventual discussion once Saber could clean herself of his bile and Shirou could recover even less dignity. Saber and him came to an eventual understanding but only after a drawn out conversation of what he could and could not do. Namely that if he had this “Time Alter” ability, he would not be here but out there to make a difference in the world, helping others. Surprisingly that answer seem to satisfy Saber into believing he had been telling the truth all along. 

When he finally did succumb to slumber, visions of flames wouldn’t leave him for the remainder of the night. He thought food might help him with his restlessness but his stomach was still so queasy that even the idea of water was unappetizing. He ended up wandering out to the shed and fell asleep again while tinkering.  

His heart leapt when he arose, seeing Sakura in the morning sunlight wake him again, a welcome surprise despite her comment yesterday of not being available. His memory reminded him of his latest dream turned into nightmare of her burning and he was stuck behind the flames unable to help again. Shirou had to dig his palms into the dirt floor to stop from hugging her in relief that it was just a dream. For now. 

It wasn’t right for her to get caught up in this war. Given how Lancer went after him for being an accidental witness, even able to track him home, the sooner Shirou ended this war the sooner people like Fuji-nee and Sakura were truly safe. While Fuji-nee rarely ventured past the living room and dojo, Sakura helped all around the house. Thankfully his home was large enough it was possible for Saber to remain out of sight for the morning meal (though the meal he delivered earlier went a large way to her acquiescence) until he could think of a plausible explanation of why he had an unexpected guest. Saber had even given her word to stay as hidden as possible for she too did not want any civilians injured or worse while the Holy Grail War was progressing. 

For as long as he had known her, Sakura wasn’t one for physical affection, always avoiding physical touch. It took a while before she was comfortable with even their fingers touching while prepping food. 

So Shirou expressed his affection in other ways. He didn’t doubt part of this aversion was due to Shinji (he’d seen the bruises before). It was probably one of the reasons he gave her a key to his home, for when she was ready, not just when he was. He couldn’t remember because Sakura suggested so…or if he wanted to… when he gave her the key a year and three months ago. 

The idea was in his head long before that. If you asked Shirou when, he would answer it was when he had lost against an unexpectedly stubborn girl younger than him. That was where it started not in a moment but over months till he started seeing the real Sakura underneath, truly seeing her for the first time as herself, not as a friend’s younger sister or a school kohai. 

Perhaps it was because she reminded him of himself or perhaps it was the stubborn streak within her. She struggled but she kept going. There was something very admirable in someone who kept going if they had no natural talent for it, only determination and a willingness to adapt to learn it better. 

He kind of got used to her being there and having someone to come home to. It had been a long time since he needed to use his key when he came back home because she would be here after his work, after her archery practice. Given it had taken her her even less time to win over Taiga, she integrated into their little family so seamlessly he had to actually think about what it was like without her. In the past couple weeks, she had been absent but the next morning when he saw her for breakfast, she somehow became more radiant, always beaming and smiling with a whole world to look forward to.  

At school he’d seen her enough times to know that was not the face she showed everyone and had only started showing towards him and Taiga over the better part of a year and half. 

Shirou assumed she must have finally made a new friend that she was just to shy to talk about since he never mentioned someone directly but he could hear the mentions of another “she” when they were making small talk over cooking. 

And then a couple days ago, that Sakura stopped coming over. 

It wasn’t quite the return to the glum junior high student but was definitely not the Sakura of the last couple weeks: it was a Sakura trying to retain the same energetic self she showed Taiga and him when they were at home. The first sign was her smile. Not the polite smiling (he saw that too often at school) but the strength she carried of a similar hurt. For that, he wished to prevent and that included getting this war over with before a non-participant got hurt. 

For Sakura, someone already did. Rider was in better shape when the sun rose. She was already waiting for Sakura with her red moped when she exited the Matou house. There was not a scratch on the young woman; maybe it was because she wasn’t quite human or maybe it was she was Rin. Her sister looked downright impeccable in a red party dress that glittered in the morning light and everything coordinated from her red hair ribbons to the ankle strap pumps of the same material as her dress. As ostentatious looking as her outfit was, Rider made it and herself look in place and everything else had the bad luck of not coordinating with her. 

Still, yesterday’s events gnawed at the girl like the worms inside of her. 

“Sakura?” 

She looked up to find Shirou’s hand awaiting the vegetables she was dicing for breakfast. “Oh, sorry Senpai.” 

He smiled gently. “Something on your mind?” 

“No,” she dismissed. Then she reconsidered. “Actually yes…for…a friend. A classmate really.” 

“Is something bothering your friend?” 

“Yes, see…” she stopped and took a deep breath of composure. “They did something wrong, something bad. Their older sibling warned them against it but when my friend didn’t listen, they came and fixed it anyway…but…they got hurt.” She whispered just soft enough that Taiga couldn’t hear them over the TV. “So my friend doesn’t know what to do.” 

“Ah.” Shirou nodded his understanding. 

He had been hoping to talk with her but given her moods this week, it didn’t seem like the right time. She was almost like old self from when she first came over to help him a year and a half ago, dulled but still focused on a goal. Perhaps that was why they got along so well. 

The last couple of weeks made sense now. Internally he was relieved, for Sakura and Shinji. It explained her brother’s recent injury and why his classmate had been uncharacteristically quiet as of late. Shirou had to smile though: maybe there was hope after all for his old friend. 

“Well it sounds like your friend should apologize in an equal manner. Actions do speak louder than words and sometimes they’re more clear than talk.”  

“But what would even be considered an equal apology? They made a terrible mistake because they refused to listen.” 

“With some things in life, there’s no absolute equivalency. One person’s best isn’t someone else’s so it’s important your friend tries to apologize and show how much their older sibling means to them to the best of their own ability.” 

“And would that be enough?” she fretted.  

Shirou shook his head with a chuckle. “Your friend won’t know till they try but I’m sure if it meant that much, their older sibling would see it. I know I would.” 

They continued cooking in silence. Once breakfast was eaten, the dishes were cleared without another word from the girl until they were dressed to leave and Shirou locked the front gate.  

“Thank you Senpai.” The girl turned to Shirou, smiling for the first time in days. “I won’t be back tonight for dinner.” 

Sakura knew what had to do. 

~*~ 

Baking was not Sakura’s forte; she had honed most of her cooking experience through home economics class and by Shirou’s side. Baking was also an exact science as long as she followed the instructions and that she could do. Normally she’d be at archery practice at this time but she had wanted access to the kitchen after classes. She was supposed to be making up for her messed up egg-based dish from the other day (it took her half the time as her classmates had taken during the lesson period). The ingredients were fairly standard though she had to make due with just strawberries as the only fruit available in the fridges.  

She would have used the Emiya residence’s kitchen but this project required secrecy. Plus anything she made, she would have to explain and share (there weren’t many cakes baked there without Taiga’s notice). She had just finished tidying when the oven timer beeped. With her right hand gloved, she carefully pulled the hot pan out of the oven.  

Sakura breathed a sigh of relief that it had risen correctly. Because of Shirou, most cooking techniques came easier but this was trickier with the separation of the yolk and egg whites exactly. Then there was the matter of the pan being ungreased or at least not a non-stick pan. If she hadn’t been so precise, it would not have come out this acceptable. There were so many steps where the cake would deflate rather than rise and she would not let that happen. 

She dropped the pan onto the counter to even out the batter, picked it up, and dropped it again with only one hand. It wasn’t that much heavier than the frying pans she usually worked with. 

Until she tried to flip the pan upside down as the required final step for the cake to cool into the right shape. 

Her right wrist rotated in the wrong direction out of habit, away from the aluminum foil she laid out. Sakura caught her mistake but moved her hand too fast with gravity pushing against it. The top of the batter began to spill out and her heart with it. She had to get this one thing right.  

Instinctually she reached out with her bare left hand to stabilize it. The heat was dull one second and piercing the next as the flesh on her palm reddened. She could feel her pulse through her hand, heartbeat after heartbeat. The skin started to blister and stick to the hot metal but Sakura firmly ignored it as she used both hands to place the upside down pan on the square of aluminum foil. When she let go, a piece of dermis peeled off, from the appendage to remain on the side of the metal. 

While the cake cooled, she went to the nurse’s office. Her hand would heal but others worried over such things and she didn’t want attention turned her way so it was better to have the burn addressed now. The nurse applied the salve and uniformly wrapped the bandage around the palm and hand, knot secured neatly.  

“It could have been a worse burn,” she scolded the girl. Then she instructed Sakura on when and how to redress the bandages and sent her on her way. 

Pain and bandages didn’t slow Sakura down in decorating the cake till she was satisfied. Only then did she summon her Servant. 

Rider came via the hallway rather than in spirit form, once again clad in a Homurahara Academy uniform. Her footsteps at a steady pace announcing her imminent arrival. 

“See you later Tohsaka-senpai!” 

She turned and waved farewell, beatifically smiling, to a gaggle of first and second years following her like ducklings. Once they passed the kitchen classroom, she opened the door to find Sakura was bent over the counter, her back to Rider. “Are you ready to leave?” 

“Not quite.”  

The girl turned around to reveal a chiffon sponge cake, decorated with icing and strawberries; seventeen candles alight to top it off like a crown.  

Her Servant’s eyes widened in confusion and clearly taken back. This did not happen in the timelines she knew of. “Sakura, what is this?” 

“Your birthday! You’re turning seventeen today and I wanted to do something for you nee-san. To thank you. For taking care of me, however troublesome I am.” Her smile faded when she bit her lips, unsure of what else to say that would be worthy and coming up with nothing. Regardless, she forced herself to at least look the older woman in the eye. “I know this is far below the type of offerings for a goddess but I hope you will be willing to accept it.” 

A singer, Sakura Matou was not but she sang waveringly anyway a familiar, childhood tune as Rider came closer. The older woman stopped right in front of the cake, her expression still in awe. Another glance from the girl to the cake and back broke Rider’s face into a giant smile.  

It was all the encouragement Sakura needed. She smiled without weight this time. “Happy Birthday nee-san!” 

Rider considered the words. Still beaming, she pointed out, “Goddesses don’t have birthdays.”  

“This one does and I remember it.”  

Rider needed no further motivation. She blew out every single candle to Sakura's delight.  

As a goddess, she was used to tribute. In her time as Uruk’s patron goddess she received bounties by the dozen from all walks of life who bade her due.  

This was something else, she flushed happily as she bit into her slice of cake with a squeal of delight that made the other girl laugh, especially when her sister finished the first slice so fast and prompted for another helping. 

Rider hummed her approval as she enjoyed bite after bite. 

It was just right. This soul remembered this dessert. There was a buttery sweetness but not so sweet her teeth felt rotted with sugar. It was soft and light, which was why she liked it because she didn’t feel so full. All the better to eat more.  

Looking fondly at Sakura happily eating in front of her, Rider enjoyed the fullness of the moment. It was not the first handmade offering in her honour as a goddess but Rider would cherish this specific offering more than any treasury of jewels, no matter how grand. Some things were truly priceless. 

[cursesive]

[Moodboard] Fate/stay night: Heaven's Queen

From top to bottom, left to right:

Journal Standard clothing collab, Heroic Spirit Travel Journal CE, Fate/Grand Order Absolute Demonic Battlefront Babylonia Ishtar ring, FGO event screenshot, Bitter Sweet CE extras, Baby The Stars Shine Bright clothing collab, Fate/Grand Order Absolute Demonic Battlefront Babylonia Ishtar hoodie, Rachel wave crown tights (not a collab), Heroic Spirit Tour CE

[cursesive]

I might be in the minority but it kind of makes sense that Fate/strange Fake first airs in English dub because it takes place in the US. As far as dubs go, it was pretty good.

[cursesive]

Saw the plot twist coming with The Stolen Heir. I’ve been reading Holly Black since Tithe but it took till this book to finally get a feel for her magician writing (keep an eye on both hands; I’m still smarting from the White Cat ending years ago).

Still waiting for the seven swords made by Grimsen to play out from The Darkest Part of the Forest:

“Of the seven magical swords my father brought from the Court in the East, two were special. Heartseeker and Heartsworn, they were called. Heartseeker never missed its mark. Heartsworn could cut through anything, from rock to metal to bone”

Like I was pretty sure it was going to play a roll in the Queen of Nothing (but nothing lol) but it’s such a juicy bit of lore that I was waiting for it to play out because each faerie series or book always has a girl learning sword fighting or already knows it:

Modern Faerie Tales: Val Russell, learnt from the half-troll Ravus

Spiderwick Chronicles (which is probably not of the same world but hey could be wrong later): Mallory Grace

The Darkest Part of the Forest: Hazel Evans

The Folk of the Air: Jude Duarte

So 3-4 swordfighters left if it ever does pan out.

Anyway, it took a little over a decade but I finally predicted a Holly Black plot twist. Here there be spoilers below.

Not going to lie; I did question my theory about Wren having Mellith’s heart. Mostly when Oak said he had it because I wasn't sure if part of his plan was to make Wren fall in love with him first before reaching the Court of Teeth. I was under the impression that he didn’t know she liked him back despite his experience as a lover thus he couldn’t really claim to have it. But otherwise it all fit since she has a knack for curse breaking and Bogdana’s threats to her human family were very personal for someone who was on the payroll of her faerie parents. Especially since this time her daughter will be queen.

I also suspected Wren would use the bridle on someone that trusted her. It was so satisfying reading Lady Nore poofed out of existence. I had thought there might have be a romantic rivalry between Oak and Jack of the Lake (since one way to deal with kelpies in folklore is to bridle them…) but the latter stopped showing up so Wren had only one person left to betray that was within reach: Oak.

[cursesive]

Latest Line WIP Tag Game

Rules: Write the latest from your tip and tag as many People as there are words in line. Make a new post. DON’T REBLOG

Thanks @nxctuaryninetythree

Perhaps the chicken blood was a bit much but the mess was impressive to Sakura that Ishtar had done something to protect Shirou while he was on school grounds. 

From Fate/stay night: Heaven’s Queen, 2 Sisters

Tagging: @koosei @kissthesewalls

[cursesive]

Fate/stay night: Heaven's Queen [1 Wish]

Rating: Teen and up audiences Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence, major character death, rape/non-con Fandom: Fate/stay night, Fate/Grand Order Summary: In which one Sakura Matou summons a certain Babylonian goddess of love and war for the Fifth Holy Grail War. It goes about as well as expected.

Also available on: AO3

Navigation: [Prev][Next] Chapters: [0] [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8]

Even if this dream didn’t last and Sakura woke up tomorrow morning with nothing, she would revel in it before surfacing to the real world again. She was used to savouring fleeting dreams. That was her life.

But she took her sister’s hand…

Because Rin finally saw her.

They walked together, holding hands and talking about nothing in particular, as if they did this every day. Sakura’s body felt exhausted as this was more energy than she had ever spent in anything in a long while. When she leaned into her sister for support, the woman pulled her in close and tight to her own warm and solid body. As they approached the Matou house, the Servant pulled up her hood.

The house was empty. Neither Servant nor Master were confronted at the door. The silence was not new but Sakura had assumed she would be grilled for this turn of events. She stood waiting, unused to no commands of her.

Gentle hands rested on her shoulders and she looked at her sister’s face through her hood as the older woman gently ushered her towards her bedroom. Her clothes were gone again, as easily as they appeared once the door was closed and locked for good measure. Sakura clutched at nothing, missing the weight of the fabric. They made this all so real.

Rider rummaged in her closet and pulled out a clean nightgown. Sakura grabbed it from her and quickly tossed it on, hiding the sight of her naked body. She started towards the bed where Rider was pulling the covers aside. The Servant gestured and Sakura crawled into the soft surface after a moment’s hesitation. Her eyes closed without a fight, not that she ever did.

~*~

Ring.

Ring.

Ring.

The ringing persisted, even when she reached out to silence her clock. After the next ring, Sakura’s eyes opened up. The sound was coming from outside. She slipped into the hall to hear the house phone still going. There was no answering machine; if she didn’t pick up, no one would.

“Matou residence.” Sakura answered.

“This is the Fuyuki Municipal Hospital calling. May I speak to Matou Zouken?”

“He is currently unavailable; may I please take a message?” As long as they were in his household, the old man would know everything anyway. There were no secrets kept here.

“It is a matter regarding his guardianship of Matou Shinji; we tried calling yesterday but there was no answer. May I ask whom I’m speaking to?”

“Matou Sakura, Shinji’s younger sister.”

“Ah. Matou-san, your brother will have to stay another night for the treatment of his arm. Please have Matou Zouken contact us at his convenience for the examination details. Depending on how your brother is, he may be able to return home tomorrow or the day after. Thank you for your time Matou-san.” The nurse hung up and the phone droned on until Sakura replaced the receiver.

“How unfortunate.” Zouken emerged from the shadows. “Even so, the command spells can’t be physically carved into his body anyway, so I suppose the loss of an arm, even temporarily, won’t affect that. You should be well-rested for the process now that you’ve slept a whole day. We can start when Shinji returns.”

A whole day? The nurse did mention a call from the day before. Now she felt the fatigue of the last few hours but not as bad as when she had returned home yesterday morning. There were mornings much worse than this and she would take this over that hollowed pain any day.

“I’ve decided to participate in the 5th Holy Grail War as a Master.” The girl stammered out, eyes lowered. Even knowing her sister was with her didn’t make her that brave. “Without nii-san, it would have been me anyway. So I’ll take his place since it’s my fault my Servant injured him from participating.”

“Have you now?” He bent forward, more with his neck than his body, at an odd angle, like a snake to examine her, eyeing her chest and then to her face: Sakura’s face was already blank.

The old man smiled, somewhat pleased or perhaps just amused. “What brought on this change?”

“I did.” As Zouken extended his hand to grip the girl’s chin, Rider appeared in front of her blocking his reach, the hoodie hiding her face again. “Because we will win this war.”

“Every Master and Servant believes that,” Zouken snorted, the smile never leaving his face. “What makes you different?”

He withdrew his hand, rejoining it to the other on top of his cane when the Servant stepped more into his personal space.

"None were an avatar of war.” The goddess answered haughtily.

Zouken considered her answer for a moment before nodding. “Very good then. Represent us well, Sakura.”

He disappeared back into the house and its shadows. Sakura let out the breath she’d been holding. It worked. Rider’s words that she coached her on their way back home had worked. She took the opportunity to go get dressed in her school uniform and coat for the half day of classes.

Rider was waiting for her outside the gate. Parked neatly outside the manor was a shiny, red, and modern scooter. It was then Sakura snapped out of the reverie to notice Rider had added a pair of shorts that barely extended past her hoodie’s hem but were compensated by a pair of thigh highs.

Rider handed her a helmet out of nowhere.

“What is this?” Sakura asked, accepting the helmet.

“I’m a Rider-class Servant after all but rather than what I usually ride, this would be more cute.” Her sister grinned, pulling on a pair of designer sunglasses. “Don’t want you to be late to Emiya-kun’s place.”

Sakura gracefully tucked her legs to one side of the scooter, her hands rested primly on her lap till her sister pulled her arms forward to wrap around her waist as they zipped down the residential streets in Fuyuki.

“_had to disappear like that,” the goddess started conversationally, “I know there’s a saying the walls have ears but hiding in that house is beneath a goddess!”

“Can ojiisama see you like…”

“In all this magnificence? No, not unless I let him but he might be able to hear something if we’re inside the house long enough and we don’t want him meddling in our part of the war. There’s enough spying as it is by the rabble.”

Despite it being winter, the ride was surprisingly warm like a summer’s day. It was nice. The corners of Sakura’s mouth quirked up into a brief smile at the simple pleasure of it all. She was going somewhere with her sister, even if it was just a ride.

She had daydreamed of going anywhere with her sister before. Normally it was just her. In her entire life, she never walked with Shinji alone to school, only on the way back if he desired something, whether it was her pain or submission.

Now she walked with Senpai after breakfast. That was when she realized, in sleeping a whole day, she had missed time with him. She didn’t make him breakfast yesterday! Hopefully he wasn’t inconvenienced…

When they arrived at the Emiya residence, Rider gave her a quick hug. “I’ll be around even if you can’t see me. Good luck with your ♡senpai♡”

Just the tone the Servant used was enough to cause the girl to blush. “No, no; it’s not like that_”

With her sunglasses tilted down, Rider gave Sakura a cheeky wink.

And then, she was gone, the scooter tearing at breakneck speed.

“Not like what Sakura?”

She turned to find her senpai staring at her curiously from the house’s entrance. Shirou’s head slightly tilted. He was wearing his apron and smelled of eggs and cooking oil. In the background she could hear Taiga-sensei asking about breakfast.

Sakura gave a nervous laugh. “Nothing. Nothing at all. I was thinking out loud. Oh, excuse me.” She bowed, remembering her manners. “Good morning Senpai.”

She would have walked across broken glass for that smile. “Good morning Sakura.”

~*~

Besides the Emiya household, there was nowhere else to go. Shirou was working this afternoon till late night and Taiga-sensei had some papers to mark. Even though she had a key to the residence, she would be all alone. It wasn’t like anyone else ever looked to invite her out, not even Shinji. She turned the corner around the school gate to hear a sharp whistle.

She looked across the street to see Rider on her scooter, motioning the girl towards her. Her sister’s face beamed as she held out the helmet again. “Put this on: ♪we have some stuff to do♪”

“For the war?”

“We’ll get to that.” Rider dismissed with her hand. ”We have more important things to concern ourselves with!”

Sakura couldn’t figure out what would be considered so important to be found inside a kissaten that was tucked into a back alley. If Rider didn’t lead her here, she would have never known this place existed, even with all her solitary walks before she met Shirou.

The interior was very European in design with a large arched window that provided most of the light. A lovely shade of blue graced the walls, accented with tasteful watercolour paintings in dark wood frames. Comfy velvet gray chairs were at every circular table with marble-like tops.

Rider had found time while Sakura was in school to change outfits. Compared to her bright pink hoodie, her current outfit was more subtle and seasonally appropriate (of sorts). She was still wearing the ritzy looking sunglasses she had on this morning but her hoodie was replaced with a decorated, dark blue denim jacket. Despite the winter, she continued to bare her legs under a navy suede skirt and a sleek red camisole with lace edging the neckline, complete with strappy red high heels. A little purse of round, black fuzz rested behind her hip on the chair. Her nails flashed a pretty aquamarine.

Sakura let the older woman order for her after being unable to decide on anything on the menu. A server was with them right away and brought out the array of pastries and their drinks promptly. When she took a sip of her pink latte, it was perfect.

She looked up to see Rider grinning at her, clearly pleased with herself. “Do you like it?”

“Yes.” It shouldn’t have surprised her given Rider’s claims of the future but she could see herself ordering the drink again.

“Good, good.”

Rider proceeded with small talk, asking her about her day and what she was learning in her classes. Her companion continued to engage her despite her short answers as she wasn’t used to conversing with someone who wasn’t Shirou or Taiga. Instead of feeling self-conscious, Sakura began to chat with ease.

The Servant cleared her throat after a good chuckle of a silly observation Sakura shared of a classmate. “Now we should get down to business. To start, while this war is going on, it would be safer to refer to me by my class Rider in order to hide my identity.”

The girl nodded obediently.

“That said, it would not be too amiss to call me nee-san either.”

Sakura almost spat out her drink. “Nee…nee-san?”

“Remember we’re sisters! Call me nee-san!” Her sister decided “Except for when you’re in the Matou house but our mind to mind communication should still be safe.”

Was that you today? In my head with the explanations?

When you didn’t understand but didn’t want to bother the class? Mmhmm. Rider rested her cheek in one palm, with a wide smile. Pretty handy huh? You’re never truly alone with me.

She wasn’t sure how she quite felt about that but it wasn’t as if she had any secrets from her sister anyway. It was both freeing and confining.

“Don’t worry; it’s not like I can read your mind.”

“That isn’t exactly reassuring nee-san.” But Sakura was smiling as she said that. Both shared another giggle.

“There are more ground rules.” Rider folded her arms. “We have to stick to the timeline in order to win, in order to keep our advantage.

“Advantage?”

“While I have many skills, Clairvoyance is sadly not one of them.” The Servant muttered something unflattering before continuing. “I do know how this Holy Grail War plays out but if the events of it change too much, then it will no longer resemble what I remember so we will lose our advantage: we could lose this war.”

“I know how important it is for you to win so we can’t lose that advantage. I’m asking you to trust my judgment on what events we can prepare for and ones that we will have to let them run their course.”

Sakura nodded her understanding.

“This is the hardest part.” The older woman’s face fell at the earnestness of the younger. One hand dragged down her face. “Oh geez! I don’t even want to ask this part. For now you’re going to have to remain in the Matou household. I’m asking you to hold on for one more week. I will make sure those wretches don’t touch you again in there. This is one of those things we sort of have to let it run its course. Once all the participants are in, we can move you to Emiya-kun’s place.”

“...Senpai’s?” The girl squeaked. Her face turning as pink as her drink before deepening to a warmer red. “But…but why?”

“For starters you have a key so the issue of access isn’t an issue. Besides,” Rider’s mouth took on a sly grin, “I don’t think he personally would have any objections to you staying overnight. Or more.”

It took Sakura a couple tries to coherently talk again. “What are you saying nee-san?”

“That ♡your crush♡ isn’t only one way. Soon both streets will meet.”

“Senpai …likes me? Senpai likes me.”

“Senpai likes you back.”

Sakura’s drink was cool by the time she was able to take another sip of it. Her mind reeling from this revelation more than anything else Rider had revealed to her thus far.

Her sister’s eyes softened. “That’s what we stand to lose if we tamper too much with the timeline. I understand you have lost so much: I will have you win.”

“Even against the present you?”

“She, I, can stand to lose because we can win whenever we want. However you,” the goddess pointed at her, “deserve this win.”

“I doubt that. No matter how hard I’ve tried.” She bit her lip. “You probably don’t have that problem.”

“No. I get it. I can understand the desire to win from nothing.” The Servant wore no crown on her head but was playing with a necklace, from which a gold crown in the exact design of her usual regalia.

“But you’re a goddess. You’re Rin!” Sakura objected.

Rider sighed. “That doesn’t mean I haven’t lost on the way to winning. That’s why I’m here. To win and you’ll be there with me.”

The Matous were many things but Sakura never went hungry unless by choice. She had started to bring out her wallet when it came time to pay but Rider intercepted her with fresh new bills.

“How the…” Sakura began to ask.

“Don’t worry about it.” The Servant waved it off. She got off her seat and extended her hand to help Sakura out of hers. “I will not burden you again.”

It was getting late. The sky was already dark and cloudy with falling snow. Sakura was bundled up in her coat but her sister continued walking in a different season. No one turned to pay any notice.

“Nee-san?” Sakura whispered, adjusting to the honorific.

“Hmm?”

“What about us? Us now? Today.”

The Servant considered the girl walking by her side. “Having fun?”

“Because that doesn’t do anything to the war.” Sakura fidgeted her grip on her school bag. “You said there are things we can’t change no matter how small. So…wouldn’t us not doing war stuff like this be…” Her memory wasn’t always the best but she remembered this from a class long ago. “It’s not like that effect with insects?”

Her sister smiled warmly as she offered her hand. Sakura grabbed it without hesitation. “Ah. Butterfly effect! It could but I doubt it would for this war. Believe me, I ran through everything today in Goddess Time every possibility of every little action and its reaction. I have a plan!” Her face blazed with a smile. “☆You and me against the world; we’re going to have so much fun together☆”

That was one afternoon. On another was to a shopping arcade, where her sister encouraged her to buy the dress she was trying on.

“Ta-da!” Rider flourished with manicured hands and amethyst nails. Today she was wearing a fancier outfit than before. She was wearing a black sheath dress with thin white vertical stripes. A thick black belt adorned with a geometric gold clasp cinched her waist. A white fur bolero wrapped neatly around her shoulders and she had layered on gold chains on her wrist and neck.

They were in front of one of the main strips of popular boutiques in the Shinto area of Fuyuki.

“What are we here for?”

“For shopping, of course. You deserve something pretty to go on a date with Shirou in.”

The girl blushed, stammering. The very idea, its concept, stuck in a loop in her head. “Date?! But…I…”

“It’s going to come soon too. So no time like the present to get ready.”

Sakura wasn’t able to get another word in as the Servant gently pulled her along by the hand. Not that Sakura would ever let go, not now. Rider enthusiastically piled a selection of dresses in Sakura’s arms before nudging her to the fitting rooms.

Each time the room’s curtain pulled aside, the outfit on display was met with an array of positive compliments: of how amazing she looked. Her sister applauded and gestured encouragingly from her seat in the hallway while her familiar curled up next to her hip, almost hidden from view by the chair and its master’s dark hair. The little black fuzz that Sakura had assumed was her sister's purse was actually her magical assistant. After all, mages had familiars of their choosing.

“What do you think?”

“I…I don’t know.” The girl mumbled. She could not match her sister’s enthusiasm for this whole venture.

Rider pursed her lips. “You must have liked one of them.”

“I guess,” Sakura sorted through the pile, “this one? It’s pretty?”

“Let’s see it again!” Her sister ushered her back into the fitting room.

When Sakura came out, she was wearing a demure, light ivory dress with short puffed sleeves. Down the front of the Peter Pan collar were two black cloth-covered buttons line up one after the other. A black grosgrain ribbon cinched underneath the bust. The skirt was loose and floated to her calves.

Her cheeks flushed as she modelled in front of the Servant, turning slowly on the spot. Rider nodded approvingly, humming to herself.

A saleswoman, dressed in the store’s trademark lolita style, respectfully approached Rider’s seat.

“How does your sister find it?”

“She’ll take it!” Before Sakura could protest, her sister had paid for the dress, which she now wore out of the store. The sales tag was snipped and her original outfit neatly folded by the saleswoman. It was deposited into a shopping bag bearing the store label that dangled from her arm as both Master and Servant strolled down the strip.

“I can see it all now.” Rider nodded to herself. “You’re going to wait for him at the park as the cherry blossoms bloom and you go in together. ♡How romantic♡”

Sakura tried not to tug at the dress. Physical comfort wasn’t the issue but she wasn’t used to wearing something like this in public. She had thought to sneak away from her sister long enough to change back but her continued efforts were thwarted. “Are you sure about this?”

“Of course! I’m the goddess of love as well as war.” Rider winked. “I can’t wait for him to be stunned by the sight of you!”

The next morning Sakura awoke to the white dress in her closet, just as she had left it the night before. Her hands brushed the soft skirt. Did she dream of it because she bought it? The girl’s cheeks flushed; she had been sitting next to Shirou wearing this but under a cardigan. A cardigan she knew she already owned.

She didn’t have glorious dreams like others of being a hero or beloved by all; she didn’t need them. Simple dreams were enough to sustain her. It was a nice dream: her and Rin cooking together at the Emiya residence. She was addressing her sister as nee-san for the first time. She felt elated; Rin felt elated. Sakura hugged the dress closer. Maybe wishes did come true…

~*~

Although they had conversations here and there about the Holy Grail War, Sakura found they were more likely to talk of everything but the war. So she hungrily looked for answers about their future.

“Can you tell me anything about us later?” She wanted to know.

“You’re my second and in charge of Fuyuki whenever I had to butt heads with the Mage’s Association in London.” Rider counted off her fingers. “We share the Tohsaka manor together. This,” she waved her hand, “is us normally.”

As usual in public, Rider’s face was obscured. She had reassured Sakura that most people would be “nudged” to ignore her face unless she allowed it. Not that many could see her face past her sunglasses and pink hoodie.

Sakura had volunteered to get groceries for Shirou. He had gotten a last minute call to cover for someone at work. This errand turned into a slight detour when her sister pulled her to get melon sodas and the arcade hall. Rider disappeared back into the arcade, claiming to have forgotten something while she waited by herself at the entrance.

She stood there, thinking of what else she could possibly ask her sister that she might get an answer. There were two men on the opposite corner to her having a smoke. Occasionally they would point in her direction but otherwise kept to themselves.

Until they didn’t.

They were still leering at her with their approach. She took a step back. They advanced. She had seen the look on their faces before, whenever her brother wanted something, when the old man sentenced her to the worm pit for a night. Both men were between her and the arcade entrance so she couldn’t even take shelter inside.

“What’s a pretty girl like you doing outside by yourself?”

“I think she’s waiting for her boyfriend. He’s not being very nice, going inside to play leaving you alone out here. That’s no way to treat a lady.”

“Come with us: we know how to treat you right.”

Sakura continued backing away, silent. Why was she fighting? There was no point. Her mouth remained shut. Talking back always made this worse but that didn’t mean she had to see this. She closed her eyes, pushing deep into herself, to survive.

Crack!

And there she was: determined, strong, beautiful, her superhero.

The man who had been reaching for the girl was down at her feet, clutching his groin and crying in pain.

“Just what,” Rider stepped between them, “are you doing with my sister?”

His associate had taken one look at the attacker and knew true fear in that one moment. He bolted away as fast as his human legs could carry him. The fallen man started crawling away before he could get up. He too ran away without a look back.

She remained frozen even as Rider held her ferociously. Her sister gently brushed her hair. “There, there. Sorry I’m late.”

“No,” Sakura sniffed. “It’s all my fault. I…I…I’m not you. I’m not brave or wonderful. I’m used to being alone and this,” she motioned “happening to me.”

“No!” The girl shrank back. Rider paused, sighed, and softened her voice. “No, you’re not me. No one is but that was not your fault. They made a decision and they are paying for it. You have fought this long and I will acknowledge that even if you don’t.”

“I won’t ever be you though.” Sakura whispered. “Even after this war.”

“You don’t need to be. You are wonderful as you are.” Her sister tugged at her hand. “Come in. I found it.”

They stood in front of the prize exchange counter in the arcade where a homely man waited with a pile of tickets in front of him. “Did you decide which prize you wanted?”

“Hmm…that one!” Rider pointed at a periwinkle plushie with a pink ribbon on its tail. The man behind the desk retrieved the item and handed it to her, who in turn handed it to Sakura. “This is for you.”

Sakura examined the stuffed animal’s morose face. “I guess…”

“Hey now.” Her sister’s face was inches in front of her. “You just need the right friends, like this little guy. Yeah he’s gloomy but his friends still include him. You’ll find friends like that too! You won’t always be alone. I promise.”

Even though she mostly understood what the Servant had said, her mind locked on that Rin finally came for her.

~*~

These past few days didn’t feel like a war. It felt like a dream. She could almost believe it if she didn’t have to go to the Matou residence every night.

Shinji had given them a wide berth. Upon his return from the hospital, he would lock himself in his room. Occasionally she would pass him in the school hallways but if he even caught sight of her, he would immediately turn around and head in a different direction no matter how out of the way.

Every morning, her sister escorted her to the Emiya household. On days she didn’t have archery club practice or Shirou was at this part-time job (which was having a steady stream of shifts available due to sick employees recently), Rider would take her on a new-to-her-adventure of ordinary things she’d seen her classmates do or talk about.

She found herself getting lost in being wanted, being included, by a sister, fighting for her. Sakura felt giddy waiting for the painfully slow school clocks to move so she could see what new surprise her sister had in store for her that day.

With a flick of her wrist, Rider brandished a pair of tickets before Sakura’s face. The girl took them into her hands. “Movie tickets?”

She recognized the printed title from hearing classmates talk over her.

“We’re going to a movie. It’s no Roman Holiday; I definitely identify with that movie in this form.” Rider’s face broadened into a wide grin. “But this movie will be just as fun! I know it because of my excellent tastes.”

“We’re going to a movie?” Sakura repeated slowly.

Her sister was quite proud of herself. “Yes, yes, and we don’t want to be late!”

Sakura was getting an inkling of why her Servant manifested in the Rider class, with the speeds she was always driving at. She knew she was safe but she still held her sister closer. As luck would have it, someone pulled out of a spot when they arrived. Her sister paid for the concessions and the two of them bundled up to their seats.

While she was no stranger to the concept of movies, she never had the chance to enjoy them aside from the handful of times she was invited by a well-meaning classmate. Fictional stories with happy endings had no place in her life and the sad ones were disappointing because what would those blessed protagonists know of pain.

Rider had chosen an animated movie about an ordinary girl and an extraordinary wizard who fell in love with him. But then she too turned out to be special, to the one person who saw her clearly and entrusted his demon-fused heart to her. How lucky she was.

Perhaps it was because of her sister beside her Sakura could enjoy the happy ending. They giggled over how ridiculous people actually thought magic was when everything shown in the movie was ordinary magecraft. She remembered that much at least from her brief time with the Tohsakas.

They linked arms as they left the theatre into the evening air. Rider’s back straightened a couple blocks down.

We’re being followed.

~*~

Cú Chulainn shifted restlessly, back and forth from heels to toes, again and again. From his perch, a corner of a high-rise roof, there was a good vantage point of everything but most importantly of this newest pair he had been tracking.

There were rules to the Holy Grail Wars, most of them repeated from the Mage’s Association; namely that the mundane remain ignorant of magecraft. The Servant arguably was not breaking the covenant. She conversed openly with her Master as they walked side by side.

Her face obscured by the hoodie she wore over very short shorts but modestly preserved by the black tights covering her shapely legs down to high heeled boots made of snakeskin; a bootie on one foot stopped at her ankle while the other boot hugged her leg to just above her knee.

Cú Chulainn had been dead for centuries but he was alive again with eyes to appreciate beauty as the Servant walked on, emphasizing the elegant gait of her backside. A crown-like pattern of waves was woven into the tights around both thighs, surprisingly symmetrical given the rest of her outfit.

Above the waist, her clothing was far more demure by shape but flashy in design. An oversized black and white hoodie zipped to her collarbone with gold accents around the biceps and the print of a crown on top of the hood. A logo of sorts decorated the right breast. One hand kept petting the soft black purse in her arms. Another gold crown hung from a long chain around her neck that swung gently as she moved.

Both women turned the corner and he followed.

If he had been a lesser fighter, he would have been hit by the Servant who was waiting around the turn. He jumped back and called in the weapon of his class, a blood red spear.

The Master took a step back from them, her eyes fearful and unsure. Her Servant stepped forward, didn’t turn her head but gave a nod to her charge. Then she focused her attention on Lancer, her legs taking a solid stance. She smirked from beneath her hood, one hand forward motioning him towards her, to taunt him.

Cú Chulainn grinned, the start of the best feeling in the world in him: a fight to begin. He leapt into the air, his spear an extension of his body. The woman waited till the last second to dodge the spear’s original target but hooked it into her elbow, trapping it so her fist could meet his jaw and then his belly. He pushed down with the spear to free it and the woman danced back away from him. He came at her again and this time she completely evaded his attack.

No matter how much she darted, her hood stubbornly stayed in place yet didn’t hinder her peripheral vision when he tried to attack from her sides and even from behind. Lancer could only surmise her reactions by her mouth and her posture. As curious as he was of her face, to get close enough to pry off her hood would leave him at a disadvantage.

Protection from Arrows only protected from projectiles but this woman was throwing her fists. Even more interesting was her speed.

He narrowly dodged a left hook that almost kissed his cheek. “I guess you’re not a Caster then.”

She was not an Assassin only because he had duelled with that Servant days earlier. Between her fighting style and the fact he couldn’t read anything off her, that class would have been his guess. With Saber, Archer, and Rider unaccounted for, he wouldn’t know her class till she brought out a weapon or a mount. Though something about her fighting style was oddly familiar.

“Not much of a talker are you?”

He got a toothy grin in return.

Now to see how powerful she really was as the spear started glowing. The spear went flying but not by his will as it landed behind them. She had tackled him with more than what he had assumed her maximum speed was during this whole skirmish, not even leaving him time to utter the spear’s name and his Noble Phantasm.

Cú Chulainn hit the ground on his front. Her knee dug straight into his back. Stronger than she looked but all Servants were. Whoever she was, she was strong enough to restrain his arms behind him; him, a son of the god of light in a distant land. She leaned in close to his ear and he smelled salty seas and sunny breezes.

She had her tricks but so did he.

Normally he would have no problem with this position but alas he had unfun orders. He Disengage from her grip.

“Servant Rider. That you can tell your Master,” her voice of thousands. “Those were your orders: fight with everyone, then withdraw.”

She giggled. “You’ve done your job, hound. Now leave us be.”

Both Servant and Master vanished.

The spearman considered his gathered intel as he headed back to the church by the false priest’s command. Could he have gotten Assassin’s class wrong? That Servant fought with a sword and could have been a Saber but he introduced himself as Assassin and this woman stated she was Rider. There was no point for Servants to lie about their class so he would have to take her word for it though it did certainly account for her speed. Whatever invisible mount she might have, her speed was not her Noble Phantasm.

The Master had not been leaking more mana; if not for being a Servant, he would have missed the girl entirely. It would have been expected of a participant of the 5th Holy Grail War, which meant either the Servant had other means of obtaining mana, was resting an extraordinary amount to preserve what mana they had, or the Master was not being overtaxed. It was also not unheard of a Servant receiving mana from one mage while in partnership with another.

The Servant was also holding back, not calling in weapons or mounts. Her fighting style wasn’t unique enough to identify as a Noble Phantasm. She was not to be underestimated, partly because for all she was hiding but also for how she slipped past his spear and laid physical blows on him. A most interesting opponent for later and hopefully by then that priest would let him have a real fight. She would give it to him.

~*~

“That was another Servant?” Sakura shakily asked even though she knew what the answer would be. The pair had settled into another kissaten after the skirmish. A pot of tea steamed in front of them with a plate of flakey, chocolate croissants.

Her vacant eyes pointed forward, recalling images from another night sleeping of another life: of a behemoth with a glowing red eye against a blonde woman. The behemoth roared: it shouldn’t have been able to move that fast for its size but it was the brute offspring of lightning and thunder. His opponent was beautiful and lithe with eyes like green glass. It was David versus Goliath but this David was losing.

If those were Servants with inhuman speed and vigor, Sakura wasn’t sure she was ready to watch her sister’s body do the same, even after seeing her in actual combat.

“Yes.” Her sister's hands were holding her shaking ones.

“How did you know what his orders were?”

“The future. This is why we can’t meddle too much,” her sister reminded. “So far nothing has changed because you summoned a Rider like you did in the war I remember.”

"That wasn't Rider wasn't you though." Sakura inferred. "Otherwise you wouldn't have told me this much."

Even her sister had to crack a small smile at her sharpness. “She was a Rider who wanted the best for you so I guess you still got a nee-san regardless." She sighed. "I cannot tell you everything. You will make it to the future and you will be happy. I’m here to make sure it happens. With my power, even a fraction, we will win this war.”

“Was that the wish on the Grail? My happiness in the future?”

"We didn't need it. We made our own wishes come true."

~*~

There was nothing to remark on her archery skills. Sakura was neither terrible nor a prodigy. She followed instructions because it was the only thing she was ever taught to do. She was certainly not like Shirou. While Mitsuzuri corrected her arm placement, she sighed in disappointment.

When she entered high school this year, Sakura had already decided on the Archery Club, even before Mitsuzuri enthusiastically set her sights on her. After Shirou had injured himself, she still joined because an after class activity was required and Sakura didn’t care. There never was a second option she considered. At least the archery club had one other familiar face in the form of her brother, the vice-captain, even if he did ignore her most of the time.

Stance. Breathe. Notch. Breathe. Aim. Breathe. Fire.

It was a perfect shot, dead center, like Senpai had advised when she asked yesterday for tips on archery. Rider's words bolstered the courage to ask talk to him more than just existing in the same room as him.

“Even Tohsaka’s impressed.” Someone muttered.

Sakura turned around. There was Rin but not. The hair and school uniform were correct…if you could ignore the ruby eyes of the goddess, her radiant glow, and the subtle outline of the crown on top of her head when you allowed your vision to unfocus. She clapped her hands with a proud smile that had more than one admirer swoon over her but her beaming red eyes were only on Sakura.

As expected of my sister: an awesome shot!

How her heart fluttered: she wanted the giddy feeling to last. Her cheeks warmed as she took her seat and another member took their turn to shoot. When Sakura turned again, her face fell back into disappointment. Rider had vanished from the observation area with no one the wiser. After practice cleanup, she went in search of her. She was about to call her sister telepathically when she saw the distinguishable pair of twintails held by black ribbons.

“Nee-san!” She called out only to realize her mistake when a pair of aquamarine eyes turned to her bewilderingly.

“My apologies,” Sakura skidded to a halt and bowed, more to hide her shameful flush. Her eyes slammed shut. “Tohsaka-senpai. I thought you were someone else.”

“Of course.” Rin politely nodded, her composure renewed. “Have a good evening.”

As Sakura watched Rin’s retreating back, the words bubbled in her throat, to say more than polite greetings and farewells. She wanted to let them out now, especially with what was to come for them. But…

Rider’s instructions were clear: they couldn’t meddle much or she couldn’t predict the timeline and then they might lose. Sakura would lose.

So the young woman held herself back, just like always.

~*~

A night where even the moonlight is obscured. It was a clash of titans: the red Servant versus the blue one with a deadly spear, two meters long. Back and forth they parried blows, giving no quarter to the other. A human would have fallen by now but these were not humans. These were Heroic Spirits of old and she was outclassed to be anything more than a spectator.

A pair of swords shine and are broken from the red Servant’s hands. They are matched swords, mirror images of each other. They reappear again and again without fail to take a blow from the red spear. Archer, the red Servant, tries gaining space between him and his opponent but the blue Lancer constantly closes the gap.

Lancer bears his teeth in a beastly grin, red spear pulled back, ready to strike. He had been striking all night but this was different.

Her arm couldn’t get a clear shot to help her partner.

“Who’s there!!” That voice. She knew that voice.

Lancer turns and disappears. She and Archer are speaking and now she’s running with all the Reinforcement she has.

Archer gets there first.

A student is lying on the cold hallway floor and Archer is standing still. He is staring blankly at the student.

Blood.

Its scent hits her nose. The blood on the floor makes it clear it’s the smell of death. There’s too much red. The red Servant. The red blood. The red hair...

Archer goes after Lancer on her orders and she’s left alone with the student lying on the floor.

She can’t look straight at the boy in front of her but she must.

This is my fault.

This is my fault.

This is my fault.

“If his heart was hit, there’s no way of saving him.” She tries to reason calmly.

She flips the body over.

“No. No. Why did it have to be you?” She cried.

“Why are you here?”

“Why did you have to pick this hour on this day to be here?”

She was dreaming.

She was sobbing.

She didn’t get here in time.

She let Lancer get away.

Her hands were covered in blood from turning the boy over. Sakura knew the boy’s face. She would recognize the girl’s voice anywhere. She was Rin and the boy was Shirou.

The weight of her heavy breaths was what startled her out of her sleep, followed by a coughing fit as her body tried to compensate. The worms started crawling but Sakura willed herself to calm down. As long as she was passive, her grandfather and Shinji would go through their motions and let her be.

Sakura cleaned and dressed a full hour before the usual time she would head to the Emiya residence. If she kept laying down a second longer, who knew what would happen. She quietly ghosted through the entrance of the Matou household. No one stopped her; no one ever did.

Why would they when running away was pointless?

It was a longer walk before she reached the park where she last played with Rin. This was the second time she’d been here in ten years. It felt appropriate to see her sister’s face, to really see her face here. “Rider.”

“I’m here.”

The voice came from behind.

There Ishtar was perched on a bench, her head thrown back in careless ease. Her arms stretched out behind, bracing her up. One eye slit open before opening both, fully taking in Sakura’s stormy expression.

Sakura cut off Ishtar before she could begin. “Why didn’t you tell me Senpai would die?”

The goddess’ eyes widened and yet her head tilted in confusion. “Senpai?”

“You know who I mean. Why did you lie to me?” Sakura’s body shuddered, between rage and the all too familiar feeling of helplessness. “Why would you encourage me knowing he dies?”

Her Servant had the gall to smile. Sakura was familiar with this smile. She saw it on her sister’s face, surrounded by friends, surrounded by everything. “He doesn’t die! You end up together after this war.”

“So are my dreams of your memories a lie?”

“My memories?” Ishtar seemed to pause at that. “You shouldn’t be able to see a divine beings’ memories.”

“As Rin. It’s not the first one I’ve had. You summoned Archer, a man in red. You were at the school.”

“Oh right; I guess I did.” The goddess considered this new tidbit. She closed her eyes, humming lightly. Her meditative state did little to calm the storm in front of her.

Sakura balled her hands up. Never had she wanted to strike someone, not since she was a child. “You’re not listening to me. You never have!”

“I know and I’m sorry for not being there before and-“

“You’re still not listening. Was this some game to you? Watch me get my hopes up only for him to die.” Sakura stopped. “That’s why you knew we could stay in his house without problems in a week’s time…”

Ishtar’s eyes widened, her hands flailing for what would help. “No, no. He lived. I made sure of that, even then!”

“He died in the Holy Grail War. I saw it in your memories.” Sakura stepped closer. “He died in the school.”

“No he didn’t.” Ishtar protested.

“You were too late; a Servant got him.” Her eyes narrowed. “It was Lancer: you let him get away the other day, even though you knew this would happen!”

“I told you. We can’t change the timeline too much or else everything changes. A couple insignificant things here and there we can tweak.”

“Senpai is not insignificant.” The Servant reached out to hold her but Sakura stepped back. She rubbed her hands, one over one another again and again. “You were too late. We won’t be this time.”

Her left hand extended in the Servant’s direction. “This is my first command spell. Please Rider. Please protect Senpai until the end, no matter what happens in the future.”

The rune vanished, one petal of the design as Ishtar felt mana flowing into her, binding everything down to her spiritual core.

“Sakura, stop. That won’t work.” Ishtar continued to protest albeit in a flustered state as her body fought the command.

The young woman didn’t waver; she couldn’t because she had to do this one thing. “This is my second command spell.” Please work. "Rider Ishtar, please protect Emiya Shirou as if he were your Master until the Holy Grail War is over.”

Another petal faded and even Ishtar had to catch her breath from the mana distorting her primary objective.

Sakura’s face was of a serene sadness. “Please understand Ishtar, he’s everything. If he were gone, there would be no point.”

Ishtar sighed in frustration. “You are the point.”

“No, he is. He needs to make it out of this war alive. I’ll be satisfied if he does.”

-----------------

Disclaimer: I do not own Fate/stay night, Fate/Grand Order, or any of the related properties from Type-Moon and other IP holders.

AN:

You didn't think this war was going to be that easy did you? Originally 0 Hour and 1 Wish were the same chapter called Week 0 but that ended up 30 pages and counting so I cut them up, added more scenes, and moved around a couple events here and there. Again I am aware Howl's Moving Castle wasn’t released till the fall of 2004. It was either that or Lord of the Rings. Both would have fit as I wasn’t familiar with any other movie that would have been released in Japan around the same time that fit with the story.

[cursesive]

Fate/stay night: Heaven's Queen [0 Hour]

Rating: Teen and up audiences Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence, major character death, rape/non-con Fandom: Fate/stay night, Fate/Grand Order Summary: In which one Sakura Matou summons a certain Babylonian goddess of love and war for the Fifth Holy Grail War. It goes about as well as expected. Also available on: AO3

Navigation: [Next] Chapters: [0] [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8]

Pain. So subjective.

She felt the worms moving against her, fighting her even though she had no fight to give. They would resurface and sink without breaking skin. Her skin was more likely broken by her brother, which would hurt less compared to this pain of her spirit.

The worst of it was the pleasure she could dream with someone else. Between the pleasure and pain, violation and own volition, neither cancelled out. She felt both: she didn’t know what she was feeling. Only when it stopped and she could feel the sharper edges of the world. The worms burrowed in and out of her skin without a scar. Would it make it all the more real if they left scars others could see?

No. Because.

Senpai would fret.

Senpai would know.

She heard someone calling but maybe not. It was getting louder and soon she would surface. She swam before in gym class years ago. There was relief when people surfaced for the precious air, even when someone was drowning. No matter how much the air punched your throat, your lungs, you welcomed it back into yourself. Not her though. The pressure of being underwater, silent and muffled; it was familiar and she would rather stay within its depths.

“Wake up already!”

Sakura opened her eyes.

Shinji Matou’s voice echoed throughout the worm pit. Her hearing came back before her sight did. Her back and limbs scraped the floor as she pushed herself up. Ghostly mage light shone from the corners, a sickly green that enveloped the room. Shinji dared not to touch the walls or descend to wake the girl early until the worms disappeared into the cavernous room or deep into her skin. He was in a hurry but not enough to pay a price with the worms himself. He’d seen what those worms could do.

He carried a bucket of soapy water that sloshed when he descended the stairs. He dropped it in front of her, throwing a rag into her chest. “Clean up your mess off the circle. I have preparations to make.”

The girl obeyed, swaying lightly on her hands and knees. It was a miracle she didn’t fall over, even while on all fours. Her grip was not as good, dropping the rag a couple times before her hands could hold it firmly.

Someone normal would have felt cold but that someone was not her. She left the ability to feel a long time ago because of the pain that came with it. Letting go was the best thing she ever did. Away went the cold, the hope, and the desire for modesty as she silently scrubbed the magic circle at the base of the stairs that led out of the Matou’s basement.

Shinji huffed, turning his back to her.

With no formal training for her in magecraft, the duties of preparing the ritual was left to Zouken with menial help from Shinji. The boy was a disappointment for sure but in something he so badly wanted, he was a devil with the details. From the practice of many years of drawing this circle on his own, he had spent weeks touching this one up until it was perfect; every rune was slanted just so and exact to the millimeter as described in handed down texts.

Up the stairs Shinji went for the most precious part of this ritual. The mirror was a lot heavier than it looked and it looked heavy enough to begin with. The reflective surface was still intact but its frame of stone had long been shattered, either by time or by those who dug it up from a temple in Iran. He doubted his “sister” would be able to lift it. Last thing he needed was for her to drop the mirror and to test out if seven years of bad luck would take. The mirror was the best catalyst left; it was the only catalyst. Generations of Matous had fallen and without alliances or access to the Mage’s Association, Shinji would have to make due.

The time was near, almost sunrise. According to all his years of study, it was the best time for new endeavours to begin and succeed with the optimism of the sun. What better time to summon his Servant?

An old man appeared out of the shadows, aided by a cane. He said nothing but both teenagers were well aware of his presence.

Shinji’s irritability revved higher under the eyes of the Matou patriarch. Everytime the boy glanced back at the old man, Shinji would quickly turn his head away, dejected. He had to try.

"Ojiisan?"

Zouken eyed Shinji, the young man posturing before the catalyst he set up. "What is it?"

“We’re summoning a Servant from the realm of the dead. Whoever sold you this mirror doesn't know the prize they gave away."

A derisive snort was all he got in return. Zouken didn't deign to turn in his direction. "Don't be stupid."

Shinji tried again. "The side of the mirror translates to below the earth therefore underworld…"

His voice trailed off watching his grandfather ignore him. He had to resist the urge to stomp his foot like a petulant child even though the old man was the one being difficult. Here he was as the devoted scion of this family who gave up weeks in preparation whereas the thief only showed up tonight doing what she did best: laying on her back for hours.

"I've been studying cuneiform more and this word is distinct from_"

"Silence."

"But."

Zouken tapped his cane sharply. "I have no need of a circuitless boy with amateur translations of the ancient arts."

Wisely, Shinji bit his tongue, figuratively and literally. The taste of blood grounded him to not lose sight of the big picture. Forcing silence was easier than forcing calm. No matter how irritated he was with the elderly man, Zouken was also the one with magic circuits and it was his decision if Shinji would represent the Matous in this war. Sakura was fine with being a temporary stand-in, basically a catalyst herself, to be seen and not heard. At least that was the plan.

Sakura finished her task unnoticed. She brought the bucket upstairs, emptied it, and then returned down the stairs. Without a word, she stopped in front of the Matou patriarch without any verbal order or gesture. There were times…that Shinji wondered how much of her mind was actually in there and how much was now just a puppet: an interloper who required those parasites to become a Matou.

No sense of shame to hide herself, like grabbing the sheet that hung by door on her way down, just free goods on display. Shinji snorted. The slut was probably lying with Shirou everyday she disappeared to the Emiya residence while he was here doing the lion’s share of the work for weeks.

Her gaze was as blank as a doll’s and even those toys would have more life than her. She probably wouldn’t have reacted if Zouken slapped her; he knew because he did it before on the long road of breaking her in.

Both the girl and the old man stood unmoving. His eyes scanned her from top to bottom and from bottom to top. Shinji paused for just a moment, allowing himself a small smile in anticipation of what the fake Matou heir was about to receive; and that he wasn’t the target.

“You’ve memorized the summoning spell, right?”

Shinji opened his mouth to reply but it was Sakura who answered.

“Yes Ojiisama.”

“Very well. But I’ll have you replace two of the words to the incantation.”

“What do you mean?” Shinji almost dropped the book in his hands, looking between the both of them.

“Sakura will be doing the incantation.”

Rage coupled with anxiety made for a nasty temper. When did this change?! Shinji was barely able to squeeze the words out coherently. “I was supposed to summon the Servant! I brought the catalyst and everything!”

“Say them.” Zouken commanded the girl, ignoring the boy.

As the girl said the words, Shinji whispered them to himself. He had practiced for so long…

Of course the old man would walk in here on something he’d been working on for months and praying for years. Zouken barely blinked when he made the announcement to them of the impending Holy Grail War months ago. When Shinji heard the proclamation, he set to work with all the meager resources he had.

It was a sign when he found the book on the Holy Grail War as a child, written by some ancestor of the first three wars. Ever since he found the passage that a Servant could be “shared” by two people, one providing the mana and the other, the true Master, commanding, Shinji could see his own magic in sight.

“I know I don’t have the magic circuits,” Shinji seethed to have to say that fact out loud, “but I’ve been studying. I won’t mess up the incantation. I know the ritual inside and out. She doesn’t have that.”

“It has nothing to do with power or training. The Grail itself does the summoning; the mage needs only to provide enough mana for the Servant to manifest. Something you lack with those dead circuits you mentioned, Shinji.” Zouken abolished the boy.

He smiled, rotting teeth barely hanging onto his jaw. “If you had the circuits, perhaps the Grail would have chosen you. Without them, you are no Master unless I allow you. What good are your studies if you need a mage to make your precious book?”

“She said she doesn’t want to fight in the war!” Shinji snarled. “She agreed to this arrangement to avoid helping this family.”

Zouken gestured at the girl. “Sakura will do as she is told without question, something you should learn before you need to be taught.”

Shinji gulped, clutching the heirloom book in his arms.

The old man circled the girl slowly, his gleeful expression unchanged. After his third cycle, he stamped his cane on the stone floor, the sound echoing in the chamber.

“However,” the patriarch drawled, “if after the summoning, Sakura is willing to yield her command spells for the Book of False Attendant, we shall proceed with making the book.”

The look her brother gave her left no room for disagreement but his own face faltered when Zouken’s smile loomed centimetres from the boy’s. Shinji gulped, the noise popping out of his throat. His purple eyes frantic to not look directly at his grandfather. His discomfort pleased Zouken as he leered at the boy, stepping closer, gnarled hand raising to touch his face. The hand stopped before it made contact.

Shinji had just enough spine to keep standing through shaking knees.

Zouken chuckled, retracting the appendage. Trampling youth always did make him feel so young. He made his way to the circle, surveying it before turning to the girl.

Sakura had not moved in expression or body the entire exchange. Her docile manner pleased Zouken. At least she knew how to keep quiet and obedient, far easier to control now but that stubborn streak of hers remained however buried.

An old memory echoed of another Master in this very basement, in the same spot, consumed by worms. Unlike him, the girl could stand.

She had held firm against actual participation in the war, which was how the silly idea continued to fester inside the boy’s head. At the promise that the duties of the Matou representative could be passed over, she didn’t hesitate to agree to Shinji’s orders when he cornered her months ago. Given Zouken’s eventual plans, it was not a priority for her to be fully active as the Master for this family but she would participate one way or another as he made her.

The Matou patriarch survived this long because of backup plans and a willingness, no matter how inconvenient, to adapt. This war came unexpectedly as the land around Fuyuki began to hum in expectation. Mount Enzou’s circle was beginning to awaken, fifty years ahead of schedule but who was Zouken to complain? Less of a wait for his plans to fall into place, especially the trump card he planted years ago.

It was a mixed blessing: try for the prize again and the chance to free himself of this dying body. Or lose again and watch how many more years he had to wait for his backup plan.

Four out of five wars lost were not good odds. This girl didn’t care to win, even if the boy did: they were not enough to make a difference. It was no secret what his grandson was planning, even convincing him to do the command spell transfer. A mage is nothing without their legacy. This war should have been his already and now he had an opportunity, just like the chance encounter at the end of the 4th Holy Grail War.

You didn’t get to be his age by wasting opportunity. His plans had been for a war fifty years from now and that was the main performance: so why not test a few things in this rehearsal? He'd been doing a lot of thinking in the last decade.

He had a mage of potential in his thrall. If Sakura's bloodline ran true (of not only Tohsaka but of the famed Eidelfelt family), she would be able to summon a worthy Servant. If not, both would serve as a distraction and another play completed of his original script.

Zouken made the girl repeat the changed lines until he was satisfied. Whatever luck she had, hopefully it would serve her better than the last Master he had modify the summoning lines. Then again, the girl was unlucky to be born second with a unique trait. A mixed blessing for a mixed blessing.

Ignored, Shinji tried to understand from his studies why the change but knew better than to ask aloud; he’d find out later from the family library. He had a Servant to be summoned and a war to win. Begrudgingly he stepped aside when his grandfather ordered him to stand by stairs, stating the summoning needed to be untainted by the relic of an old failure.

A little late for that. Shinji thought, considering the whore taking his place. It should have been him!

Their grandfather stood, staring at Sakura. Fear both paralyzed and agitated her. She knew better than to move but his attention to her never turned out well. Finally he broke eye contact to take out an old pocket watch, a patina on its metal. Satisfied, he nodded to her.

"Begin."

She needed no encouragement. Beneath her skin, the worms were still very awake but in their satisfied state after her time in this pit. If she failed, she would be spending more time down here again, to relearn that she and this war were one. She knew that much at least.

Sakura only needed to do this one thing. Then everything would be over.

Just one small thing.

For a lifetime.

The young woman carefully tread to the center of the magic circle. Once her feet were planted, she raised her left hand first to brush the red hair ribbon, and then to extend it, three command spells visible. Her eyes closed, she chanted:

“Silver and mercury to the origin. Let stone and the archduke of contracts be the foundation. Let Makiri be the ancestor I pay tribute to. Let each be turned over five times, simply breaking asunder the fulfilled time. Set. I shall declare here. Your body shall serve under me. My fate shall be with your sword. Submit to the beckoning of the Holy Grail. If you will submit to this will and this reason, then answer. I swear here. I shall attain all virtues of all of Heaven. I shall have dominion over all evils of all of Hell. From the Seventh Heaven, attended to by three great words of power! Come forth from the ring of restraint, Protector of the Balance!”

Her soft voice carried the chant evenly with the slightest falter but no mistakes. She couldn’t wait to get out of the circle. Her thoughts on summoning and…no. She could think of Shirou later. Once she was done, she was free, if for a time.

Winds picked up from nowhere in the basement, swirling around the room. Her left hand felt pulled, like she was fighting a bowstring but she held her arm out firm, refusing to budge. Out of reflex, her other hand touched her hair ribbon again, praying for this to work, for this to end.

Light engulfed the room, a soft blue to the usual sickly green. A magic circle appeared above the one drawn into the floor, swallowing the mana in the room but not all her mana. The worms would let her know if that was gone. The runes on the floor grew bolder as power filled them. Sparks, charges of magical power, cackled, swirling around a point till the light grew the brightest.

Images of beasts filtered in and out of view: ravenous lions and sharks that evaporated into doves.

Then nothing.

Except a woman standing before her.

Sakura didn't know what to expect but this woman was and wasn't it. Her presence filled the room compared to how little she wore. Her legs were bare save for a ribbon around one ankle and a toeless stocking on the other that stretched above her knee. The woman's hands were stuffed into the pockets of her very modern looking hoodie: pink with an abstract design on the shoulder. Dark hair peeked out from beneath her hood.

The woman's face was in shadow save for her mouth, which was pulled into a smug grin. No, a show of teeth. Her teeth were perfectly human and white.

Shinji took a step towards the Servant until her head turned. He paled, backing away until his rear hit the chamber's wall. Whatever temptation the skimpy outfit promised, it was not worth a closer look. The hoodie was dangerously short, covering just up to the top of her thighs. The barest sign of a swimsuit could be seen below the hem.

It had no effect on Zouken. "Servant, who are you?"

There was silence as the woman's head twisted side to side, surveying her surroundings.

"He asked you a question." Shinji straightened his resolve. "Answer!"

When the Servant let the silence continue, he turned to glare at Sakura. "What did you do?"

The girl's legs buckled beneath her, knees scraping the ground. She bowed her head and herself was spent. The servile pose only incensed her brother further.

Of course she would screw up something as straightforward as summoning a Servant! He had been patient long enough but he was not watching her screw up his chance for another second. Time to take control.

“Whatever. Give me your command spells. I will deal with you later.”

Shinji reached out but his hand never touched another hair on Sakura’s head. Instead a sickening crack bounced off the walls. The boy screamed as the woman used the broken arm to toss him aside like a used toothpick. He whimpered, scuttling as far back as he could, nursing his ravaged limb.

"Servant Rider at your command, Master."

The Matous turned to the woman.

Her voice soft but held the command of armies; hundreds of voices funneled into one. It was a voice that could stun but it was the disappearance of both Sakura and the new Servant that left Shinji and his grandfather silent.

~*~

Sakura would have fallen over from the jolt of changing scenery but her Servant's arm kept her steady. Though shaky, Sakura shoved the Servant away as she took in her surroundings. It was a small playground inside one of the public parks. She sometimes passed it on errands but never went in.

Never after the last time of an old life: one with a sister, a mother, and an uncle.

The Servant walked the sandy surface, her back turned to Sakura. Whatever calm this Servant had, Sakura possessed none. She could weather Shinji, she could survive Zouken but this, they would never forgive. The longer the command seal was on her hand, the longer she would be marked as Master, the more likely she'd have to fight Rin.

"Please! Whoever you are, we have to go back!"

The woman casually stepped onto the carousel before leaping atop its center. She sighed, throwing back her hood and looked up at the morning star, rising brighter than its neighbouring lights. The horizon was lined with orange and gold leaking across the dark sky. Dawn would be here soon.

Sakura stopped her advance as she marvelled at the magnificent crown glistening in the rising light. Seven points of gold arose from dark hair. How didn't she see it earlier? She was close enough to see black twintails neatly tied with black ribbons, nestled in the graceful fall of hair, like Rin's.

Sakura felt a tug in her heart. This was always how it felt to look at Rin, always from behind, like a shadow to a sun. Her eyes widened as the woman turned to her finally.

Her eyes must have been wrong, maybe her former memory of this place playing tricks on her as she looked up at her sister's face.

"Servant Rider, the goddess Ishtar, daughter of Anu!" Her sister's face proclaimed, beaming with a smile. "I ask of you: are you my Master?"

~*~ Sakura was sure she was dreaming. The pinch was too sharp and she was still in the park. There was no way this was happening. Her mind tried to reason something other than this being some cruel, elaborate prank of Rin being summoned as her Servant. And yet…

She pinched herself again, hoping to wake up but found the woman before her still.

She had done everything exactly to the one task she was traded for. Her mouth formed the goddess’ name but the sound that came out was, “Rin?”

The Servant tilted her head from side to side, as if to roll the thought in her mind and puzzle it out. “Rin...Rin...Rin...OH!”

Triumphant, her fist met her palm. “I suppose that is the name of this maiden’s body. Strange how even though she is not of my service, there’s an affinity.”

The Servant sounded like Rin and she had her gestures. She was the right height. Did Rin’s summoning mess up that she became part of a Servant? Alarm raced through Sakura’s body. She needed to fix this. Rin had to be okay. Rin had to participate or else... or else why were you given to the Matous?

It was difficult to breathe. There was not enough air and yet Sakura never felt more energy than she did now. Her body was tingling like it was alive, so different from when it was in motion due to the worms that lurked inside of her. She knew where she was: she had to go back. To stop this from being worse.

The “goddess” who had been admiring her new body paused as the girl started to bolt away.

“At least put something on!” Ishtar insisted, appearing in the girl’s path, arms spread to cover her exit.

Sakura halted abruptly, almost falling to the floor but she caught herself at the last possible second, fluttering her arms to stay upright. She looked down to find she was no longer naked but for how long she didn’t notice the winter cold, she wasn’t sure.

Her body was now covered by a long, black, flowing skirt adorned in a cherry blossom print topped by a thick, sensible white v-neck sweater. Warm sheepskin boots enveloped her feet. There was brief mental panic in realizing her hair was tied back in a side ponytail on the opposite side of her hair ribbon. To her relief, the ribbon was still there, now around the sidetail.

“What the?” She lightly tugged at the sweater confirming it was real, at least to the touch. “Where are these clothes from?”

“Journal Standard™.”

“What?”

“I’m not quite sure when I saw you in that outfit but I do remember you wearing it when we went to dinner one night.”

“We’ve never gone to dinner together for me to wear something like this. Besides that, why would we have dinner together?” Sakura finally snapped in frustration.

“Because we’re sisters, silly,” the woman giggled. “A few years from now, you will visit me in London. The food wasn’t bad but your cooking is definitely better. Their dessert however was divine.”

That was when Sakura took a good long look at this Servant who claimed to be a goddess. The more Sakura examined the woman, the more she looked like an older Rin. “You came from the future?”

“Ehhh…not exactly but close enough.” The Servant looked a little sheepish at that, lightly scratching her cheek with a finger.

“You call yourself Ishtar.”

“That’s right.”

“And yet you call me your sister.”

“Correct.”

“Which is it?”

“Both. Because of my vastness, I could only send a portion. After all, it’s the Holy Grail that does the summoning. A summoning within a summoning.”

Sakura shook her head, still not understanding. “How are you in Rin’s body?”

Ishtar hummed. “I wouldn’t say I’m in her body. I’m a part of her more than I’m ‘in’ her body.”

“I’m sorry; I still don’t follow.” She tried to steady her breathing. Controlled inhale, controlled exhale, every breath exact, like this was archery practice. She could almost hear Shirou’s voice.

“My original self was more glamorous but this body is also not bad.” Ishtar said more to herself than to the girl in front of her.

Sakura continued to look at her expectantly.

She sighed. “Everything is recorded, including those who have participated in the Holy Grail War as Master or Servant: past, present, or future. The Throne of Heroes is beyond that and as such is not tied to something as silly as time and space. My soul and that of this girl merged and since this is the last body that soul inhabited, I look like this.”

Rider looked around, finding a stick. She drew an incomplete circle, a little more than half. “My soul is myself and Rin’s. The summoning drew what it could of my divine soul.“ She tapped the circle and then drew lines dividing a smaller piece to complete the divided circle. “Whatever was too great, was filled with the girl’s soul. Like…oh that method of gold to repair things—kintsugi but more awesome!”

Without a doubt, this was definitely Rin’s body, a Rin’s body but not the Rin she knew, if she was comprehending Rider’s words correctly. The Servant’s face had lost its childhood roundness, mostly angles and curves. At the center were her red, red eyes; red as rubies instead of an aquamarine blue.

“I’m usually summoned as an Archer but I guess even I am subject to the Rule of Nasu. Archer has been taken.” She said as she turned up to look at the morning star. The woman grimaced, like she had eaten something disagreeable. “I should have gotten Saber….”

“So you’re not really Rin.”

“No more than I’m really Ishtar. We’ve merged; right now it’s about 60/40 ratio with me as the majority. I am both Rin and Ishtar.”

“Where is human Rin then?”

The Servant waved off the question. “Don’t worry, present me is still my ordinary self, asleep at home, not a Master till over a week from now.”

“So both you and her are here now, in the present.” Sakura reasoned.

“Mm-hmm.” The woman nodded, pleased with herself.

“Are you connected to that Rin right now? Is that how I summoned you?”

“No we’re not connected, not like how a Servant and Master are. As far as this Holy Grail War goes, we’re two separate participants. You summoned me because I heard your call.”

“My call?”

Rider came closer, her hand hovering beside Sakura’s head. Sakura flinched before the hand made contact, eyes closing out of instinct. “Because of this.”

She opened one eye to see Rider holding her hair with the worn hair ribbon. “I gave this to you. You always wore it. I still have the other half.”

She didn’t know much about magecraft. The Matou’s didn’t need her to learn but she knew bits and pieces about the Holy Grail War. Some nights when her old household was asleep, Sakura would sneak downstairs to hear what their father taught Rin, to somewhat be included. Their father never included her in anything, it was always Rin who sought her out before and vice-versa.

The ritual for summoning was an ancient one. A Master needed to be able to do the summoning and a Master needed magic circuits to be able to do the summoning; that part was made clear to her as Tokiomi Tohsaka and Zouken Matou made the exchange, talking over her like a bartered ware or livestock. A catalyst was normally used to call specific Servants but the Matous couldn’t afford one of those as Shinji complained when he was searching the manor’ storage till he found the mirror to his satisfaction.

“But there was a catalyst! That mirror next to the circle...”

“Oh that old thing? It was kind of useless.” The Servant chuckled and then stopped to ponder. “There is a goddess it could call but she wouldn’t have answered.”

“Then why did you?”

“So we could be sisters again! Once the Holy Grail War is over, there’s no reason for you to be a Matou anymore.”

The playground sand shifted in Sakura’s vision. Again the Servant rushed to brace her from falling. She led the girl to the benches lining the playground. Once she was seated, Sakura buried her face in her hands.

Of course it would be beyond the impossible for the one thing she always wanted. But to win the Holy Grail War?

“Kariya-ojii-san tried to win the war.” Sakura robotically stated. “He said I could go back to the Tohsakas when he won. Look where that led him.” And me.

“Matou Kariya was a mortal man;” Rider proudly posed, gesturing at herself, “I am Ishtar, goddess of beauty and war, bringer of victory. I will win: I always eventually do in the end. My triumphs are numerous. That’s why I’m here to rescue you!”

There was only so much shock one could take. Sakura was glad she was already sitting down. Her head snapped up to face the Servant, her voice cracked. “To rescue me from what?”

“The Matou’s and what they’ve done to you. You’ll win the war and you will be free to live your life as you've always wanted with who you wanted. That is the Sakura I know in my memories.”

It was what she as she always wished for but everything had a catch…

Sakura shook her head, eyes wide in disbelief. “You know…what they did to me?”

“I know everything they did.”

If the Servant had slapped her, it would have been less of a blow. Sakura froze.

“Everything?” She whispered.

“Everything.” Rider acknowledged. “I know how you went from this,” she grasped a lock of her own dark hair, “to this.” She lifted the violet hair still in her other hand, holding the purple and black hair together. Even through all that, they still had the same straight texture.

“I still don’t know all the details in the future but I will eventually learn all the details you were willing to share with me.”

Sakura narrowed her eyes sharply. “You mean you don’t know now? The you who is sleeping in Tohsaka manor right now?”

Rin doesn’t know? Sakura found it hard to believe. Was that why…was that why the Tohsakas had forsaken her to the Matous? They really didn’t know?

Or was it so convenient they wouldn’t?

Seeing Sakura’s distress, Rider let go of their hair. “You are happier in the future and I tried making up for lost time but some part of me doesn’t believe it’s ever enough for what you went through and I didn’t know. How many times did I walk past you in school thinking you were okay because you were adopted as the Matou heir and you were finally safe. What a joke!”

“Safe?” The echoed word was hollow.

“After the war, you live with me in Tohsaka manor. Like the sisters we should have been.” Rider smiled brightly.

The girl just stared ahead, barely moving except for her hands to wrinkle the skirt, bunching the material up in her hands. She kept gripping it tighter and tighter.

Rider knelt in front of Sakura, her own hands covering the girl’s. “If you’re worried about fighting me, don’t worry. I know you’re worried about that. You told me once. For me to happen as I am now, I would need to survive to the future so I won’t let anything happen to us.”

What should be an affectionate gesture was an awkward one, warring with years of Sakura’s composure to never touch much less hold her sister again. Sakura melted in more; she used to dream of this before she met Shirou. She wanted to take Rin’s hands but she couldn’t. She couldn’t touch her sister now. Not as she was now, when she had become this.

This disaster of life.

This was all wrong. All of it!

Sakura pulled away from the Servant for the second time, holding her arms around herself to avoid touching. It was too much. This person. Their claims. These clothes…

She was naked.

She had been naked.

Violet eyes widened and pupils shrank to pinpoints. Sakura slammed her eyes shut to block out the revelation.

“You…you saw me like that.” Her lips trembled.

It was bad enough Rin would know of what happened. Of course Rin would see her now at her worst, fresh from the worms, defiled and naked.

No. No. No. “Down there…in the pit…you saw…” She gulped. “You didn’t know?”

“We didn’t.” Rider gravely confirmed. “I mean, she didn’t know. She found out later and she was horrified.”

Sakura stayed silent. Rin was horrified by her.

“We, my Servant and I, were investigating the Matou household when we found...that pit.” The goddess balled up her own fists. “If I knew, I would have done something; anything. Or as much as I could have at age six when you were taken.”

Age six.

When you were taken.

Nothing ever mattered. If what this Servant was saying was true, Rin never knew and all these years, she was waiting for nothing. She meant nothing.

She could imagine the type of sister she was in the future, what the Servant hadn’t said. Even now, her sister didn’t have anything to praise her with and who could blame her? What good was she to Rin now as she was after the Matous? They were all that would take her, after she’d been damaged and discarded.

No one took in thrown away garbage.

“I’m going back to the Matous. You’re too late.” Sakura whispered. She stood up from the bench. “You are free to go Rider. No, I won’t be your Master but I won’t give you to Shinji either.”

She wanted to cry but she was just too tired. Step by step, she walked away from the kneeling goddess.

The Servant reached out a hand but didn’t connect to the girl’s back. The hand dropped. All the power of a goddess and she couldn’t fix this. Her blue eyes started watering because what else could she do? Her sister didn’t believe her. She really was useless…

Sakura had expected the woman to go away or to keep talking but instead it was just silent until she heard a clink of chains. Briefly she turned to find the goddess had gotten up only to slump into a seat of the playground’s swing set. All her exuberance had been drained before the war could even start.

The girl returned to her path, walking away.

Rider tightened her grip on the swing. “For whatever it is worth. That’s why I’m here, even if we’re late.”

“You told me you were barely treated as a human. That you need permission to even breathe.” The somber and quiet voice did not suit an arrogant, upbeat goddess but a young mortal woman who had lost.

Sakura stopped.

“You told me that the Matou magecraft was carved into you. You told me of the pain every day. So much pain.”

The girl turned around.

“How terrified you were to eat because everything was poison.” Her sister was crying. For her.

“You told me they rejoiced in your pain.” That flicker of ferocity on the goddess’ face should have scared Sakura but it didn’t. It looked like Rin when she was stubborn and righteous. Rider turned her head, looking for a target and let a well-aimed shot of mana shoot from her finger pointed like a gun. The tree was completely incinerated before the sound of the explosion boomed.

“You waited eleven years; why didn’t I figure it out sooner?”

Rider took deep breaths. Instead of the confident facade seen earlier, it was broken into tears and she didn’t care who saw. There was no one to impress anymore. After all, she had failed. “If I could pay for your pain I would have. Easier to see myself suffer than to have known you were suffering this whole time and I did nothing. They won’t hurt you anymore. Not while I am here.”

“You don’t have to forgive her—us. It’s one thing we can’t change but I swear to you we’re here now to make up for it. I will protect my sister.”

She was shocked to find Sakura now sitting on the swing next to her, crying as tears fell without a voice. Her hands clutched the handles.

“It’s too late to save me.” Sakura stated with no emotion yet at odds with her tears, her body unable to agree on a feeling.

“It’s never too late to save you and that’s what we’re going to do!” Rider stood and enveloped her arms around the girl.

Sakura couldn’t stop crying.

How long had it been since she was hugged? Oh she was touched in the Matou household but never hugged. Not like this. This time she didn’t pull away; she dived. She smelt the sea and ocean wind in the Servant’s hair. The tears kept falling, faster now. The goddess eased her embrace enough so the girl could see her face.

“Let me try again.” Ruby eyes met hers. It was Rin’s face, actually looking at her for once. Rin smiled. “Will you be my sister?”

-----------------

Disclaimer: I do not own Fate/stay night, Fate/Grand Order, or any of the related properties from Type-Moon and other IP holders.

AN: I’m well aware Ishtar could not normally be summoned. I’m still writing this.

Thanks to the anon who asked for the first chapter. Especially since this kept me sane when I had COVID-19 over the winter holidays and I wanted to do something more than sleep for 16 hours a days.

If anyone feels bad about procrastinating, I know for a fact that I got this idea on January 14, 2018 after seeing Fate/stay night: Heaven’s Feel - presage flower that day. It only took four years for me to type up a whole chapter :3

I don’t know how long it will take to write this fic that’s been fermenting since I saw Presage Flower but to give you a little preview of the chapter titles:

1 Wish

2 Sisters

3 Words of Power

4th Holy Grail War

5 Elements

6 Lives

7 Gates

8-Pointed Star

[cursesive]

Did you know Safari caps out at 500 tabs? Because I have.

16 past peak comedy and my boy just kept adding to it

[cursesive]

I get that Tumblr did the bare minimum again to be working on iOS but I can appreciate at least one person of their team understands its user base. However it’s paid for by the one braincell of that team.

[cursesive]

So I'm a year and then some late with Starbucks but

never before have I realized how not straight I am than that part of She-Ra's transformation sequence when she smacks her hand and fist together with a beautiful shot of her arms (get a load of those guns 👀 *finger guns*)

I just started the series...

I might have rewatched the transformation sequences a few times...

[cursesive]

Clearing Up Nezha Confusion

There are two Nezha movies on Netflix that are unrelated to each other but are part of their own series, which may add to the confusion. There are many more movies about him in Chinese media (think of how many King Arthur movies you’ve seen and that’s about right).

The first Ne Zha was made in 2019 and has a sequel called Jiang Ziya, which was released in 2020 (you may have seen it in a theater listing at the end of last year/beginning of this year for it so it might not be that long before it’s on Netflix either). They are part of the Fengshen Cinematic Universe.

The other second one is formally called New Gods: Nezha Reborn was made in 2021 and will have a sequel in 2022 named New Gods: Yang Jian. There are hints this series takes place in the same universe of the White Snake film, as they are by the same company, which also has a sequel, White Snake 2: The Tribulation of Green Snake (released on Netflix as Green Snake), coming out later in 2021.

You don’t have to choose one or the other. I find Nezha 2019 useful for a loose idea of what happened before Nezha 2021 (which is more of a reincarnation story), especially if you’re not familiar with his story. If you like his story, he pops up in several movies and shows as the main character or as a side character to Journey to the West adaptations.

[cursesive]

Ooops. My MS Paint slipped:

I’m not salty…not at all

[cursesive]

Happy 25th Birthday Mewtwo!

It’s been almost 25 years since Pokemon was released and if the game takes place in the same year, Mewtwo would be 25 years old!

[cursesive]

There is a reason why I wanted this vehicle above all others when I got Lego Batman 3.

Nothing about this makes sense.

[cursesive]

To survive, I must become someone else, something green, pointy, and arrowy.

Oliver Queen, Lego Batman 3

I knew there was a reason why I play this game. I just can't decide if this was more hilarious because it's the voice of The Arrow or because it's something the Green Arrow I grew up would say.

[cursesive]

Call me crazy, but I think that that's Usagi with her laptop in Batgirl #35