cute-optimistic-nerd

[cute-optimistic-nerd]

you hear about recovery not being linear (”there are ups and downs”), but actually it’s more like a game of wack-a-mole. this is not a bad thing

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How the fuck was this a children’s television character?!?

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name 2 foods with the same ingredients that otherwise bear no similarities whatsoever?

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anybody else in the club feeling this one

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no gif will do this justice

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By @ZiziFothSi

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Apparently I’m gay

It has come to my attention that I am gay and dumb

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Corrupt doggo bribed by bear

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Alien: You’re telling me that in times of great distress humans have been known to suddenly gain the strength necessary to lift objects more than a dozen times their own weight?!

Human: Yeah, it’s called “hysterical strength” and it usually happens in life-or-death situations, like when someone gets stuck under a car or something and someone lifts the car to get them out. We can’t really test it though, ‘cause it only happens spontaneously.

Alien: Humans have the ability to tap into untold strength and power and you don’t even know how you do it?

Human: Pretty much, yeah. We think it has something to do with temporary analgesia, so we just don’t feel the pain we should when we pick up a 3000-pound car.

Alien: YOUR PAIN RESPONSE JUST SHUTS OFF?

Human: Yeah, it’s like an adrenaline thing? Do you not have that?

Alien: Fuck you and your entire species of tiny juggernauts.

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[cute-optimistic-nerd]

hobby: slightly misquoting Vines just enough for people to notice but not quite enough for them to be certain it’s on purpose