cwen-northwice

[cwen-northwice]

Tonight, ladies and everyone else, I am going to eat crow. I said somethings last week here that I don't necessarily think were wrong, but tonight I've learned some extra considerations that are worth merit.

To whit, last week I asserted

First, it should be said. I have once again struggled with my eternal nemesis: measure. I went several passes with a Noble Gentleman and he, as many other before him observed that I missed many (most) of my thrusts by by an inch or two. With better control of measure, I could have had some solid strikes. He did give me a recommendation that in general, I find to be unhelpful at best and at worst something like to scare off newcomers. He advised I get a new sword. To his credit, he immediately offered me one of the longer loaners they had on hand, which is better than most I've had this same exchange with whose advice is truly just buy new expensive weapons. I declined the offer as I'd rather improve my technique than just use different equipment. All the same, if you find yourself in a situation where you are advising newcomers or even just more junior fighters than you, unless you have been asked for an equipment recommendation, I would advise against suggesting spending money as a solution to an issue with technique. Not everyone has four to eight hundred dollars for a new sword.

The Noble Gentleman challenged me again on this this week. I gave him the same answer as before: this is what I can afford and this helps me practice a skill that I wish to develop. He did not discredit those but he gave me two extra considerations, the second building from the first. These considerations do not negate what I said in regards to advising the spending of money. I still believe that is wrong minded. He made clear that he was offering me loaner equipment to help me develop as a fighter and not dismissing my finances. What he was recommending was not gate keeping, but building consistency.

First, I received a lesson in etiquette. Historically, duels were fought with matched weapons. Combatants insured that neither was receiving an advantage from their equipment as a matter of honour. I have said before that blaming one's weapon is "loser shit" and that holds true here. If both weapons are equal than neither can complain the fight was unfair. He even told me the history of one particular duel where a man was sentenced for murder because the man used a sword far longer than the agreed upon case which proved to the court that he had premeditated an unfair and lethal advantage and not simply fought an honourable duel. The lesson here was, whether I like it or not, presupposing I am an honourable fighter (which I do hope I am and will be) then I will be fighting with weapons longer than what I am accustomed to.

Which takes us naturally to the second point. If I only practice with my short weapon, then I will naturally train my body to attack from the range of a short weapon. The problem arises the day I match someone using, say, a 42" blade. If I have an extra six inches of blade I am not accustomed to, then I will strike them as if it's a 36". In this hypothetical, rather than simply tapping them with my point, I would instead be running them through with a half foot of unnecessary force and acceleration. The problem is well demonstrated with the swords in hand, and I fear I'm conveying it poorly. To say it plain, my sword would strike earlier than my body expects it to, and so the force of my attack will carry through even after I've struck. This is how people get hurt. Inexperience with longer weapons will lead to me one day miscalibrating a strike and hurting someone.

I do not have a counter argument. Near as I can tell, the Noble Gentleman is absolutely correct. I had not considered the implications for safety in my adamance to use only the equipment I have. Blaming the equipment may be "loser shit" but hurting my fellows and companions for my pride is "villain shit" and that's worse.

So I have agreed that next week, the Noble Gentleman and I shall practice with 38"s. My prediction is that I will land more successful blows. According to Thibault I should be fighting with a 39" and I find I am often just an inch off a good strike. My hypothesis is my body is naturally responding to a measure of near there. That said, I think the extra length will mess with my point control. Needing to wrangle the extra metal will impact precision. Regardless, I think now that expanding my horizon in this regard will be good for me in the long run.

I still won't be pressured to purchase a new sword until I'm ready though.

[cwen-northwice]

You’re writing her sonnets, I got her handkerchief at the Tourney. We are not the same.

[cwen-northwice]

Rapier Scabbard Build

Final product first. Scabbards made of PVC are allowed in SCA fencing as a rigid parry device alongside a rapier, and since I’d ordered a very pretty rapier from Castille Armory, it needed a pretty scabbard.

Keep reading

[cwen-northwice]

Absolutely gorgeous thrust there. Right out of a fencing manual type of motion. Looks you're feeling out your opponent's weak as he's trying to bat your tip. Fabulous control of his weapon as you come in for the strike. Very well done.

Tricksy hobbit behavior

[cwen-northwice]

There are eight key virtues for the Masters of Defense, and if you're reading my blog, you probably already know them: Honour, Prowess, Devotion, Scholarship, Hospitality, Valor, Courtesy, and Panache. Honour, I feel I am decent in. Prowess I struggling with but I am improving. Devotion grows the longer you do anything and I've only done this a couple years, but I've also already done this a couple years. Scholarship I rarely get a chance to demonstrate and I really ought to get back to annotating my Sainct Didier. Hospitality comes best from resources I yet lack but my whole canton knows Cwen has a spare chair. I should hope I've never given anyone chance to suspect my valour. Courtesy is a thing I have taught some of my seniors about. Panache though. Panache is something of a sore spot for me.

I have been called boisterous, obnoxious, gregarious, charismatic, dramatic, and other less polite things. I am loud and I like to put on a show. These things are of course part and parcel with panache. There are people who will go their whole lives without developing my level of flair. There is one particular element of panache that I find I struggle often with, and I'll need to be a little vulnerable with you all to discuss it.

I have issues with my body image. This comes free with being the flavour of Bluefeather I am. A gentleman in one of the groups I practice in posted some pictures of a practice from May and one of my fights was included in the picture. It is, objectively, quite a nice picture. Well composed with pleasing colour grading, and depicting what was actually a very good pass--both I and my opponent parried with our dagger while lunging meaning we both missed our hit but make an excellent block. What struck me most about it though was I did not immediately recognise myself in it. The stance, the build, none of these things suggested my vision of how I appear, or rather how I should appear. I was, put simply, embarrassed to look like that.

For me panache is not simply theatre plus savoir-faire. It's about confidence and surety. Aesthetic is one of my own personal core values. Failing to live up to my own sense of aesthetic inhibits my capacity for confidence, which in turn limits my panache. I don't feel like a dashing swashbuckler in a tale of derring-do. I feel like the troll in the tale of Herr Mannelig. When presented with photos like that I think "God, how embarrassing that that's what other people see."

There's no doubt in my mind that I appear 'normal'. This is certainly not a metric I would apply to other people or their personal appearance. The problem is instead a failure of self-expression. I don't identify with the way I actually look. There's many ways of looking that I don't identify with and that doesn't suggest a flaw with those aesthetics, but critically they are not my aesthetic. I don't feel ownership over my presentation during a fight. I don't want to say people who look like me shouldn't, just that I don't want to look like me, a feeling I'm sure most of us relate to.

But enough naval-gazing; what is actionable going forward? I think if I knew for certain, I would have solved self-esteem forever and put a lot of therapists out of business. That said, I think there's two paths I can take. First, I can experiment with presentation: i can find new wardrobe choices that make me look prettier and more feminine on the field. Fancier, hand sewn garb, and more flattering work out clothes. This path is expensive, but fairly easy. The second path is to learn satisfaction with me the way I am. Train my cognition to be less critical of my personal appearance and more accepting of the facts as they are. I look the way I look and that's fine. This path is cheap but extraordinarily difficult, as anyone who has undergone cognitive behavioural therapy can tell you. Realistically, the route is probably a little of both. Be nicer to myself while also developing my kit.

I have a question for my fighting ladies in the audience though. Much, perhaps even most armour tends towards boxy silhouettes. What have my fellow trench wenches done to feminise their kit? How do you feel girly in a 350N jacket and fencing mask? What makes you both pretty and protected?

[cwen-northwice]

Let me tell your fortune!

With tournament season over for me, I am going to be devoting some time to an A&S endeavour I've had on the back burner for some time now. At the end of the summer is central Ansteorra's A&S season, and I need some help practicing from my dear readers.

I have been studying a medieval fortune telling practicing known as Geomancy. The particular style I've been studying was imported from the Arabic world as early as the twelfth century CE, though I have been heavily referncing a text attributed to Agrippa first published in 1655. The technique principally involves generating figures by using dots in the sand to create randomised inputs. I find it a fun way to generate stories one can tell about a life.

So what I need is for my lovely readers to send me some questions that I can divine the answers to. Open ended questions are better than yes-no questions as they give more room for story telling in the divination. I do ask you try to keep it kind of light: I love folk mysticism as much as the next girl, but I can't do medical diagnoses or tell if your partner is unfaithful.

That aside, there are no particular limits on what I'm willing to divine. I can answer questions about tournaments, about big moves, about wealth, and even about horses. I will try to answer at least one or two a week (though I may do more if I get a lot of interest). So if any one out there has any fun questions they're dying to know the answer to, please do not hesitate to send it to me that I may consult the dirt.

[cwen-northwice]

Mother and child training longsword in Chile, at the Centro Esgrima Histórica

[cwen-northwice]

New Year’s Resolutions: 

- Get a really fancy sword

- Learn how to swing really fancy sword

- Profit???

[cwen-northwice]

[cwen-northwice]

meme @hopecarriesasword made for me of something that happened to me last night at the whataburger drive thru

[cwen-northwice]

[cwen-northwice]

[cwen-northwice]

With JoAnne Fabrics going out of business I feel it is my duty as a cosplayer, historical costumer, and general sewing gremlin to help teach y'all how not to be reliant on evil overpriced mediocre big box stores for fabric and cosplay supply, cause if I catch y'all going into Homophobia Lobby to get cosplay fabrics imma have to start throwing hands. And frankly you guys all deserve better.

- Find a neighborhood full of brown people. Probably a slightly poorer neighborhod. I know, I know, but they will have small independent fabric stores. Selection in each may vary. Hispanic and Caribbean areas will give you prints that EAT. Muslim areas will give you fabrics with amazing drapery. Indian and Southeast Asian areas will give you beading that would make the House of Worth wet with envy. (Try to avoid oldwhitelady quilting stores unless you are a knitter or are specifically trying to cosplay Kirsten Larson.) (Also ask while you're there for lunch/dinner spot recommendations. Your fabric store guy usually has a buddy with a joint nextdoor with the best *insert relevant ethnic food here* you'll ever put in your mouth.)

- DEVELOP A RELATIONSHIP WITH THE OWNER OF SAID STORE. This I cannot stress enough. Abdul, my fabric guy, can and will get me whatever I want cause he knows me, knows I bring in other young people, and knows I will be back every month for more. Indie fabric stores tend to have older clients. They are anxious to see faces under 60. Just chat with whoever is in there about the kind of stuff you want and need and they will help you. This also frequently leads to discounts. I have not paid listed price for fabric in years and just walked out of Abdul's with 7~ yards of gorgeous teal satin for 10 bucks. Not a yard. Total.

- Do not be afraid of mess. The best shit comes from stores that look like a hurricane went through them. Don't try to understand the organization. (One day, 4 years into your relationship with the store, suddenly the fabric gods will reveal the knowledge to you.) Again, talk to whoever is in there about your project. They'll help.

- Give up on one stop shopping. Get your crafting supplies elsewhere. Like a small independent hardware store. There's usually an old guy in there that reminds you of an uncle who will also help you.

-Worbla and whatever other Cosplay Specific Material you're using is a fatphobic material straight from Satan's hot taint, you do not need it, and any old hardware/tractor supply dad will help you find better, more durable armor/weapon/detailing material. Don't snub your nose at paper mache and plaster of paris. Venetian Mask makers have been using it for years. Balsa wood is also your friend. Hardware store Uncles will teach you to work with both.

- Elderly people are your bffs. If you see an old person TALK TO THEM. They know how to do all kinds of shit. I know there's a hesitation around old people because of the political climate and a fear that they may be homo/trans/whatever-phobic, but hey....minds are changed by making friends. My elderly Muslim fabric supplier is an Our Flag Means Death fan because of me gushing about the teal I needed for Stede Bonnet. He wishes me happy pride now. He put bolt of rainbow in the window in June and kept it up all summer. And he'd never had a thought about queers before me.

- Don't feel limited to Craft and Fabric stores. Hardware stores are cool. They stock outdoor fabrics and umbrella and furniture covers that are very durable....my first cosplay was made out of patio furniture covers. Also upholstery stores and upholsterers have velvets and damasks and faux leather and real leather and all sorts of rich textures. Most of them will part with a few yards pretty cheap. Second hand sheets and bedspreads and curtains also make some really cool garments. A significant amount of my ren fair garb started as household goods.

- If you are forced to order fabric online, please for the love of all that is holy DO NOT BUY FROM MOOD or any other famous store. You're paying for their branding and their place on certain reality shows I will not mention. Indie is always cheaper for the quality and usually not abusing their workers.

- If the fabric/hobby/hardware/upholstery/etc store you develop a relationship with is inconveniently far from you, see if said owner is willing to take your order via phone and send it to you. You'd be surprised how accommodating people in the crafting and sewing world can be.

It all really comes down to having to form a community. I know finding multiple small stores is a lot less convenient than Joannes. But forming a relationship with a local supplier will, in the long run, yield you much better results AND put money and good back into a community near you.

(And if you're in the NYC area DM me and I'll put you in contact with Abdul. He's the absolute best and I'd do anything to help him and his business grow!!!)

[cwen-northwice]

gamotboucicaut

[cwen-northwice]

It's shocking how fast a blade can rust.

Due to a combination of woefully imbalanced humours and the wretched climate of Ansteorra, it has been nearly two weeks since my last fight. My usual Monday night fights were technically on, but with the heat as it was, I was disinclined to fight in it. As luck would have it though, there is a Tuesday night fight as near to my home as any of my other practices, and they have the good fortune of an indoor practice space. So to make sure I definitely did get some practice in this week, I donned my big girl breeches and dragged myself to meet some new friends.

There were a few familiar faces but I made a point of challenging folk I had not fought previously (or at least, had only fought in my limited run in tourneys). I did not need to fight many before my physical condition became an issue. No doubt my warboard exacerbated the problem, but it was not many fights before I found my knees and fingers wobbly. I suspect some of it was nerves also: I try to be friendly as much as I can, but meeting new people can be daunting regardless. Whatever myriad contributing factors, I found I spent a great deal of tonight policing my readiness.

Which while an important challenge, is not necessarily an interesting one to read about. Leastwise, it is a topic I have discussed previously and do not have any new thoughts on the matter. One must use good judgement and assess oneself without pride. It's important to challenge yourself, but one must know when they are being careless. I have other things I wanted to discuss.

First, it should be said. I have once again struggled with my eternal nemesis: measure. I went several passes with a Noble Gentleman and he, as many other before him observed that I missed many (most) of my thrusts by by an inch or two. With better control of measure, I could have had some solid strikes. He did give me a recommendation that in general, I find to be unhelpful at best and at worst something like to scare off newcomers. He advised I get a new sword. To his credit, he immediately offered me one of the longer loaners they had on hand, which is better than most I've had this same exchange with whose advice is truly just buy new expensive weapons. I declined the offer as I'd rather improve my technique than just use different equipment. All the same, if you find yourself in a situation where you are advising newcomers or even just more junior fighters than you, unless you have been asked for an equipment recommendation, I would advise against suggesting spending money as a solution to an issue with technique. Not everyone has four to eight hundred dollars for a new sword.

I also got to fight with another Gentleman that many had recommended to me as a man with a great deal of technical skill. What I found most impressive was his ability to remain engaged with my blade. I could tell he was just feeling out my skill level. I've no doubt he could have easily struck me at any point. Instead, everything disengage I tried, he was able to reengage before I could gain the advantage. It felt almost like he knew where I was moving to before I did. If you are familiar with the Italian guards, then you would have seen him slide through each position with grace and ease, keeping my blade locked up however I tried to slip around his defense. The next time I see him, I will need to pick his brain to find out what he's responding to. My suspicion is he does in fact know where I'm going to move to because he can see where the opening is. He knows my options and is making decisions based on that instead of reacting to my movement. I will report back if I find out.

I am glad I went though. The rust has been growing on my brain as I've been unable to fight. I needed to get out and get moving. I will see if I can manage three fight nights a week (weather permitting) but if I can't, it's good to have a reliable inclement weather back up practice. Here's hoping Wednesday's forecast is more pleasant.

[cwen-northwice]

Insane tumblr ad pull

[cwen-northwice]

Sometimes I’m just handed swords to carry, yanno?