cyanpepper8

[cyanpepper8]

[cyanpepper8]

My most controversial (and correct) film opinion is Speed Racer (2008) is the best Wachowski film and it’s not close

[cyanpepper8]

*frots you like this*

[cyanpepper8]

Mirroring Sheev's Plan by Sullivan

Performed by Austin Walker on AMCA

(originally posted on Cohost)

https://bsky.app/profile/dimosar.bsky.social

https://bsky.app/profile/austinwalker.bsky.social

https://bsky.app/profile/morecivilized.bsky.social

Sheev's Plan:

get elected to senate for naboo

start new sith order

work republic and separatists against each other. recruit evil guy to lead separatists.

(this jedi kid is wicked strong!)

get jedi in deep with clone army. (save some clone jars for later? just in case...)

PIVOT: Make the jedi kid evil. dont need separatist guy anymore. got a new evil guy.

make my evil guy kill his jedi pals when they come to arrest me. ill finish em off with my lightning attack

(fucking guy used his sword to bounce my lightning back at me! honestly my fault. takes a minute for the lightning to wind down and he got my ass on the bounce. fair play. now i look like a leather couch but its fine. can blame jedi for THAT too)

Use the clones to kill the jedi, have my evil guy kill the seperatists, keep the army, spin into empire

GALAXY NOW UNDER MY CONTROL

chill as emperor for a while. humiliate Vader for a laugh. make death star.

Endgame achieved.

(Vader's kid blows up my death star)

PIVOT: get new young apprentice by turning him evil once he kills his dad, or maybe make Vader cooler by making him kill his gay son. either way its a win-win for me.

(thrown down hole and killed.)

PIVOT: good thing i kept those clone jars!! make new clone body to inhabit. takes time to get right. need something to do until then

build enormous fleet of big spaceships, each with their own super death star laser. keep em on the down low... why use em? they lose half the value as soon as you fly them off the lot

(clone son betrays me but its no biggie. its fine. have loads of clones at this point. whats one clone son?)

create a DECOY fascist empire. put one of my weirder clones in charge. Not giving them any of my ships though. can build his own shit. dont look at me. get a bank loan

let failed clone recruit vaders grandson (will explain why later) let those guys take over the galaxy with a different super death star. assume they built this one themselves. very cute!

GALAXY NOW UNDER MY CONTROL

(only via proxy tho. not done yet)

let(??) vaders grandson ("ben"?? ok) usurp failed clone and rule galaxy. wants to “kill the past” but whatever. can still make this work. NEED to keep this kid in the mix (will make sense when we get there)

drop the big news. Im not dead! Fortnite. awesome moment.

lead kylo ren to my base using complex scavenger hunt. puzzle knife.

tell him he’s always actually worked for me. big reveal. big moment. He's my lackey now. a little traitorous and unreliable, but this will pay off later trust me

use death star ships to take over galaxy even more

GALAXY NOW UNDER MY CONTROL

(awesome... but not enough. something missing)

let kylo ren lead clone granddaughter to home base using complex scavenger hunt. Puzzle Knife cool enough idea to do twice i think

taunt granddaughter into killing me so i can possess her un-janked body. All part of my grand scheme...

Endgame achieved. (??)

(kylo ren betrays me)

PIVOT: Possession stupid plan anyway. Instead, use ben and reys Horny Essence to make my nasty old body normal again.

throw ben in hole (grandson purpose revealed)

destroy resistance with lightning powers. shooting spaceships down with magic lightning basically a solved problem at this point.

GALAXY NOW UNDER MY CONTROL

kill the granddaughter actually. dont need her anymore. lightning powers classic for a reason.

ive got this thing in the bag as long as she doesn't bounce the lightning back at me off her fucking laser sword.

Endgame achieved.

[cyanpepper8]

[cyanpepper8]

one thing you have to consider about using a lance is you wont have full control over yourself anymore. the lance compels you to start running people through just for the fun of it

[cyanpepper8]

You can only eat 2 foods for the next 2 years (with no health repercussions)

Spin this wheel twice to figure out what they are!

[cyanpepper8]

Hey in middle earth is there any ecological consequences for those big fuckin eagles

[cyanpepper8]

There was a dull thud at your door. Then a scratching, and a faint "mrrp" of very busy cat who needs your attention.

You hop up from the desk and open your door, and there's no one there. You hear *mrrp* again and look down. There's a white and gray cat standing there expectantly, with a D20 in its mouth.

*mbleh* and the cat spits out the die. "Hey", they say in a surprisingly deep voice for a cat that small, "I need you to test this."

You reach down and pick up the still-damp die. Each face has a silhouette of a different animal on it. You spot cat, dog, cow, horse, frog, and others that aren't immediately obvious at first glance. Is that an antelope? "What's it do?" you ask, still turning it over in your hands.

The cat is rubbing their head with a licked paw. "Polymorph die. I put micro-wands into each facet, and tied them to trigger when you roll it. I know the cat one works (natch), but I don't have thumbs for the next few hours. So I need you to check that they all work properly."

You look at the die with faint suspicion. "All of them?" "Yep. Well, except cat. Although if it lands on cat... you'll have to try that one."

"Can I trick it, rather than relying on luck?" "I wouldn't recommend it. I don't think it'll explode, but I can't be sure. I'll have to test that later when one of the dragons get back from their Meeting. Anyway, let me know how it goes! I'm gonna go lie in a sunbeam until I turn back into a wizard."

They slink away, leaving you standing there with the die. "Wait, there's a fish on this! Am I supposed to stand in the pond when I roll it?" *merrp* is the only reply from down the corridor.

[cyanpepper8]

[cyanpepper8]

Suddenly I am thinking about that article written by Brennan Lee Mulligan about being witness to extremely hyper-wealthy people believing they were going to live forever.

Not if the rest of us have anything to say about it, said the guy with words on his bullets to the heart of a health insurance CEO.

[cyanpepper8]

I love you Safety Wizard.

(Inspired by @keroascrazy)

[cyanpepper8]

people keep reposting my comics without credit or permission so heres a dump of my comics frome my twitter @/cuptoast

do not my reposts my art, if u see one of my comics uploaded to here, it was not with my permisiions!

[cyanpepper8]

noncon friendship

[cyanpepper8]