cyberenergyshock

[cyberenergyshock]

making my own post bc i dont want to start a fight but anyway. I don't like to feel lonely. I want to be friendly with everyone, to be comforting and fun and easy to become friends with, but I'm not nearly good enough at socializing to give that impression. For all my life, I've been more likely to push people away when I try to be friendly, because I just can't seem to understand or use the metatextual layer of communication most people rely on and expect from others. By now I maintain a respectful distance from everyone at all times, never initiate social engagements, and often slip into downright avoidant behavior. It's clearly a behavior pattern that makes life lonelier, but I find myself stuck in it for fear that stepping out of line will make the people who called themselves my friends, who I cherish and don't want to lose, suddenly turn their feelings around entirely and drive me out of their lives.

So basically: in this post OP is presenting as an uncontroversial fact that there's a particular type of autistic person marked by the type of communication difficulties I have and distinct from the type that belongs on this site. Further, they show no hesitation and expect understanding when they say they can't stand my type, but they have no qualms with making us feel welcome for a time via overt signals like allowing our presence in a private social space, even as the covert signals we can't catch make it clear to everyone else that we aren't welcome. They do this while wishing they could just get rid of us, but wait for an opportunity that wont make them seem mean, just to appear kinder than they really want to be to the people they actually care about. In other words, they've casually confirmed exactly what I fear. You can probably see why I wound up with a complex!

TBH, this is the kind of thing that makes me want to put the word 'autistic' in a box on the high shelf. The first meaning of 'autistic' presented here is marked entirely by symbols while the second marked mostly by behavior and ways of knowing. Anyone left of the republicans nowadays probably feels (sincerely) that we all ought to be kind to autistic people, but the basis of that belief (which won't be immediately obvious to anyone who learned it as a maxim) is that people who are difficult to communicate with deserve dignity and community like anyone else. When one can be understood as 'autistic' by performing all the correct social cues to mark oneself as part of the autistic subculture, they can form an idea of what an autistic person looks and acts like (that is, ironically, inaccessible to someone who can not navigate the dance of social cues effectively and thus doesn't accept that particular toys and memes and interests could be more autistic than others). Then, one can understand themself as kind to autistic people because they are kind to marked subculture members whom they have no trouble getting along with, while disposing of anyone who's the kind of autistic that isn't so easy to get along with, all while avoiding any cognitive dissonance. This isn't a hypothetical, this is a cruelty that I have experienced from groups who understood themselves as entirely autistic or autistic-friendly, and didn't see any irony in making me a pariah and dumping vitriolic words all over me because I "should have known better" about an unspoken social rule. I'm sure I'm not the only one.

TL;DR it is so despair-inducing as a laios-type autistic (bad with tone and familiarity and growing-closer-to-others skills) how people will openly announce that they want to excise autistic people like me from the social fabric the second they get a socially acceptable chance to do so, without even realizing they're being anti-autistic.

[cyberenergyshock]

The survey is closed now, just FYI

Hello everyone, the US Senate is conducting a survey to get the opinions of people on issues such as a ceasefire in Palestine, America funding Israel’s weapons, and the TikTok ban. Please share and take the survey, let your voices be heard. (Non Americans can participate )

[cyberenergyshock]

Late night poll to interrupt your scrolling.

[cyberenergyshock]

i wanted to show everyone my favorite tiktok

[cyberenergyshock]

(ooo-wee-ooo) this is just like battle city

bonus:

[cyberenergyshock]

so are we all just gonna sleep on the fact that roba’s wearing a binder in duel links? 🤔

[cyberenergyshock]

ROUND 1 SIDE B MATCH 7 REX RAPTOR/DINOSAUR RYUZAKI FIRST EVER DINOSAUR DUELIST VS YUTO XYZ YUBOY THAT DUELS IN THE SHADOWS

[cyberenergyshock]

so are we all just gonna sleep on the fact that roba’s wearing a binder in duel links? 🤔

[cyberenergyshock]

people who see jounouchi as lgbt are completely valid but my personal favorite interpretation of him is as an obnoxiously supportive cishet ally. like you come out to him and he’s like “yous genderqueer? dats fuckin awesome!!” and he claps you on the back WAY too hard and from that point on every time you go out with him and someone idly misgenders you he’s like “ey hold up, i don’t wanna sound rude but my buddy here uses xe/xem pronouns. capisce?” and when you and your other pals at the table laugh or slap his shoulder he’s like “what? if it’s important to yous it’s important to mes! fuggetaboutit!”. probably wears those extremely cringe and memey ally shirts from teepublic to pride. do you understand

[cyberenergyshock]

Everlasting Alloy

[cyberenergyshock]

Yu-Gi-Oh! DM Episode 58 // Esper Roba - Danger of the Psychic Deck

[cyberenergyshock]

Happy Holidays 🎁🎄

[cyberenergyshock]

“People respect me as long as I win. As long as I am strong, they won’t despise my brothers. I win these card games to protect my brothers!”  

if u have a ygo dm gif request hmu

[cyberenergyshock]

Cosmos Channelling

[cyberenergyshock]

literally yugioh would be so much better if there was less focus on kaiba and more on background characters just saying

[cyberenergyshock]

have you thought about them today? now you have!

[cyberenergyshock]

FUCKING DUELISTS OF GLOOM ROBA PACK RELEASING WHILE IM AT WORK