cyrddleofstew
cyrddleofstew
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cyrddleofstew · 5 months ago
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"Other than that, I can't say if the flowers would still hold their bloom for me" Emmrich Volkarin surrounded by his cherished flowers, inspired by a scene from Bright Star.
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cyrddleofstew · 7 months ago
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Unhallowed Providence
(Fic + Podfic)
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My contribution to the Halloween festivities, inspired by the extraordinary art created by the incredible @theonevoice , I give you:
Unhallowed Providence
Being a narrative of certain events occurring in the stygian past of human history, in strict accordance, as shall be shown, with the Dark and Distorted Prophecies of Angus Nutter, Warlock.
A reversed AU in which a demon and an angel explore the forbidden treasures of the heart, mind, body, and soul—before doomsday lays waste to their sanctuary.
👁️Read Chapter 1👁️
Or…
🎧Listen to the Podfic!🎧
TW: Vampirism, vague allusions to past dubcon (due to power imbalance)
Special thanks to @onedappercat for the last minute beta ❤️, and to @theonevoice for this exciting brain worm in the form of gorgeous Demonic Aziraphale!
I’ve had the absolute pleasure of working with Voice on this project and am excited to continue as the fic moves forward. Voice, thank you for this mouthwatering obsession!
@goodomensafterdark @whickberstreetwriters
🧛🏻‍♀️🩸🖤Happy Halloween!🖤🩸🧛🏻‍♀️
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cyrddleofstew · 7 months ago
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cyrddleofstew · 7 months ago
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You were born with the power of convenience, everything is convenient for you. Always a full cellphone bar. Never hitting a red light. Everyone being more late then you so no one can complain about you being late. One day, you were driving to meet a date. Until you got into a car crash
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cyrddleofstew · 8 months ago
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Don't read this
It's just funny, how Alastor just done an advance reading, and just said this is where. And said fuck it. Broooooooooo.
We like a man who makes plans. Even though... yeah.
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cyrddleofstew · 8 months ago
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PLEASEEEEEEEE
Now that the good people, of the Hazbin community have seen the leaks. Can we get fanfic of pathetic Alastor?
I need it. Please, Please, PLEASE, PLEASE! P L E A S E ! !
I NEED IT IN MY VEINS.
The creative and amazing mind of the fanfic creators, make a pathetic Alastor fanfic and my life is YOURS!!
"Yours since we met~" like uhhhhh 😩😩😩🧎🧎🧎
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I need that man whimpering and kneeling. Break that pride. If you want too. 👉👈🥺 Pleaseeee for the love of everything good and deprive. PLEASEEEE
What do you want, for this to be a reality?
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cyrddleofstew · 9 months ago
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I throw myself on the arms of strangers, with each movement of my fingers, coming up with a witty comeback to make them stay.. Looking for myself in the form of others..
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cyrddleofstew · 9 months ago
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‘And have you found it, Maria?’
‘I think I have. I know I have.’
‘I love you.’
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cyrddleofstew · 11 months ago
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Teach me - chapter 2 part 3
Part 2
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cyrddleofstew · 1 year ago
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omg hii mind creating a 🍉 for a poly! louis x lestat x succubus reader??
this thought just popped into my mind and I feel like louis encountering a different type of supernatural creature would really freak his mind out 😭😭
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🍉 Blurb requests; a character + any prompt you want.
Author's Note: Haha I bet you're right, he would be a little weirded out! This was such a fun idea to explore, thanks for sending it in. I slso might end up writing more parts in the future bc this ended up being longer than anticipated and I am very intrigued. 👀
Warnings: nsfw, polyamory, sexual themes, mentions of being high, keeping the succubus features pretty tame for this au, reader is called "saffron" but descriptions are kept pretty ambiguous.
✂️More below the cut✂️
Divider + support banner by the lovely @saradika-graphics
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"What is that?" Louis scrunches his face in indignation.
Lestat catches the scent a second later, turns his head. It's the first time in a long while that Louis has witnessed utter confusion on his face, at a complete loss for words.
"You don't know," Louis murmurs when he doesn't answer, teetering on the line between morbid curiosity and self-preserving terror. Alive for two centuries and here was something even he didn't understand. "Do you?"
"Oh my god, you don't know." Now more a statement than a question.
"Quiet." Lestat has a hand on his elbow, spine ramrod straight. "I've smelled it before. We should go home."
"But what about—?"
"Now." He growls, uncaring of the barely there, teasing lilt in Louis' voice as he tugged him along, away from the park bench.
The scent, warm and enticing, like the smell of a freshly baked pastry wafting in your nostrils for the first time as a child, saccharine like honey on a sore throat, refreshing like water to a dying man. It gets further and further away the longer they walk, and they arrive at the townhouse before Louis can question him further but he does so with haste once they're inside.
"You really don't know?" He says as Lestat runs a stressed hand through his hair, pacing in front of the hearth. "But you smelled it before, you said?"
"No, I—" Lestat swallows, looks at a loss when he meets his eyes. "It was very long ago, I can't be certain."
"Where?"
"Paris." He murmurs. "Promise me you won't go out alone, mon cœur—at least for now. Not until we figure out what it is."
He seems like a lost boy in that moment, so very vulnerable that Louis can't help but go to him, enveloping Lestat in his arms. It seems to calm him down some; he nuzzles his face into Louis' shirt without hesitation.
"Alright." He nods, knuckles grazing gently along a high cheekbone. Lestat nuzzles into his touch, eyes unblinking and flickering. "I promise."
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Weeks of chaperoned excursions and searching, but they don't encounter the scent again. Whatever it was it seemed to be just passing through, or so they thought.
Lestat has managed to detached himself from his lover for two days now, assured in his recent scouring of the city that it was safe to walk alone again.
But Louis catches it again, so very faint as he walks through the park. It makes him pause, immediately on edge despite his every urge to sniff out whatever the hell it was that had clearly come back.
He stays like that for a while, hands in his pockets, having stopped in his tracks at the wishing fountain. His eyes scan along the sidewalks and balconies, mind open to see if he can decipher who or what it was. But all he hears is noise, mundane thoughts that always boil down to one of the three main musings; food, sex, home. Lestat had been right about that, at least.
Hello, friend.
He whips his head around frantically, the voice startling him. He hears a giggle then, too.
You've been looking for me, I assume?
He sees nothing, can't tell where the voice is emanating from, and so he wills himself to be calm, to not show any weakness.
What are you? He asks silently.
Someone who can make all your dreams come true. It answers. But where's your handsome companion?
Close by. He clenches his jaw, hoping against the odds Lestat might sense his distress.
Liar.
...Why would I tell you the truth? You haven't even shown me the courtesy of meeting face to face.
A pause.
I will. The voice promises. Soon.
He can sense it leaving and he has to bite his tongue to keep from shouting to no one, "wait!" like a fool. He rolls back on his heels, unnerved at the way the scent disappears. With humans and vampires alike, you're able to follow the lingering remnants of perfume, of cologne, of natural musks in the air that are specific to the individual. But this one vanishes without a trace, as if it had never even been there to begin with.
He hightails it back to the townhouse, intent on warning his lover.
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"What did it sound like?" Lestat asks, brow furrowed as he listens intently. "Was it a man or a woman?"
Louis shakes his head and opens his palms in defeat. "I honestly couldn't tell. It sounded like it could have been either."
"Most troublesome. Perhaps we should leave—just for a bit." He sees the flicker of an argument behind Louis' eyes. "A vacation, if you will."
"Leave our home? Over one...thing we're not even sure can do us harm? No, no." He shakes his head vehemently. "No we'll go out tomorrow. Together. Whatever it was, it didn't feel like it wanted to do us harm."
"Mon dieu..." Lestat sighs, knowing he'll now be fighting a losing battle.
"No, it felt...curious." He continues, now fully invested in finding out what said thing was.
"Curious, hm? Well, if we get killed because of your own damnable curiosity, I'll be sure to thank you for it before I see the gates of Hell."
Louis snorts.
"So dramatic." He teases, pressing his lips to the skin of Lestat's neck as he leans down over the back of the sofa.
The blond pretends to be offended before Louis begins his nibbling, causing Lestat to part his lips as he tries to resist, but he's never been good at denying himself—or Louis—and ends up turning around to kiss him ferociously, muttering something in French about looking before you leap and getting himself into trouble.
He pays no mind as his fingers find the mother-of-pearl buttons of Lestat's shirt.
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"There." Louis' eyes move without turning his head, directing Lestat to follow with his own blue orbs. "That smell again."
"Yes..." Lestat murmurs. "It's rather..."
"Intoxicating?"
"I was going to say peculiar. But yes."
"Should we follow it?" Louis asks, finally looking in the direction the scent is emanating from. It's an alleyway, dark and unassuming.
"Well there's only one way to figure out what it is." Lestat acquiesces as he starts walking towards the alley, moonlight the only source of light once they cross the sidewalk.
At first they pass shop windows, shuttered because of the late hour, then the windows transform into simpler panes, curtains drawn up by tenants that live in the back or on the second floors of the buildings they squeeze by. On and on they walk, following their noses, until they come upon an open door on their left that the scent is strongest.
Golden-orange light peeks out from the apartment, set in an alcove they might have missed if the light hadn't alerted them. It's the only door that seems frequented with the way a potted plant sits just next to the measly little concrete step, and the apartment numbers are bright with paint. The other doors further down seem devoid of any life, several old and weathered eviction notices hanging from the doorknobs.
The look they level at each other is interrupted when they hear a soft giggle inside the apartment and Lestat takes the lead by pushing the door open and walking inside.
They don't know what to expect when they walk in but it isn't this.
The atmosphere is rather...exotic. Velvet tapestries and rugs line the walls and floors respectively, woven with threads of gold and lapis and something akin to pearl that catches the eye. There’s hints of emerald and bronze on others, tassels and furs in every corner, illuminated by gold filigree lanterns and candles that drip haphazardly atop perfectly placed stacks of books.
It looks like something our of an Arabian novel, Louis thinks. Even the ceiling is covered in swaths of fabric, all pulled towards the center of the room where a larger lantern hangs from a thick chain.
"Hello." You speak softly from your place on the floor, in what appears to be a nest of dark fur and soft silks and pillows. "You found me, then."
Louis swallows, unnerved that now he can hear your voice from your lips instead of his mind. It drives home the fact that he hadn't imagined it like Lestat had foolishly hoped beyond his own reasoning.
"Don't be afraid." You continue, holding out your hand for Louis to take. He does, eyes caught by the inky black, elongated nails that extend from equally black fingertips. "I won't hurt you."
He can feel a tingling along his palm, emanating from every point your skin touches his and it fans out like electricity along his arm. It feels like his nerves are alive, like he's just inhaled a line of snow and he's leaning into the heady mix of giddiness and arousal before he can stop himself.
You're careful not to cut him with your—for lack of a better word—claws, even as you try to coax him into kneeling down into your bedding.
"What are you?" Lestat break the spell and Louis drops your hand as if he's been burned, cradling it to his chest.
He almost can't bear to watch your expression drop, mind already racing to figure out a way to make you happy again.
"I've been called many things." You admit, eyelashes dusting your cheeks. "I feed off of pleasure—off the ecstasy of humans mostly."
"And us?" Louis asks. "If we can tell you aren't human, surely you can tell the same."
When you raise your eyes again it takes their breath away. They glow in the amber light.
"You mean vampires." It's not a question. "The same; but it's more...filling, when it comes from humans."
"It will do, though." You continue, beckoning to Lestat now. "Come. See for yourself."
He shares a brief glance with Louis before he takes your hand and kneels beside you. The affect is almost immediate, his expression morphing into wonder and reverence as he begins to feel what his companion had felt.
"Mon dieu," He murmurs in awe, blue orbs searching your face and finding no malice, only desire. "Louis, c'est magnifique..."
You kiss Lestat at the same time you reach for Louis, claws grasping his shoulder through his light coat as he watches the two of you, arousal and envy coloring his face. Whether he envies you or Lestat, he doesn't know. But he finds himself kissing your jaw, sloppy and desperate until Lestat breaks away from your mouth, pupils having overtaken the blue of his eyes.
So greedy. You project to them. I'll enjoy the both of you very much.
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"You should come to the townhouse," Louis suggests, pressing a lazy kiss to your ankle. Even your dainty little feet look like they've been dipped in ink, dark as the night until it fades up your ankles into your natural skin tone. "This ain't a good part of town, saffron."
You bask in the affection, Lestat at your bare back and playing with your hair. "Yes," He agrees. "Come with us, petit diable."
The gentle laugh that graces their ears is heavenly, ironically the opposite of Lestat's little nickname. Little devil. You quite liked that—and Louis' nickname, too.
"I can guess why someone might call me diable, but saffron..." You ponder curiously. "Why saffron?"
He smiles boyishly to himself. "Don't know. Maybe it's the way you taste."
You giggle at the confession and Lestat's gaze softens behind your shoulder. It's been a little while since he's seen Louis so carefree and it makes him feel lighter, content even.
Maybe this was what they needed; a chance to let loose for once.
"Alright." You murmur, the effects of your powers floating in the air like glitter, illuminated by the low light. "Take me home, then."
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cyrddleofstew · 1 year ago
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Sugardaddy!Darkling - Chapter 3
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Previous chapter
“This is where you live?” The man, Aleksander as he’s finally introduced himself as, says as she shows him into the two bedroom apartment.
“Yeah, that a problem?” She deadpans, as if she doesn’t know it’s a shit hole in the most dangerous area of the city.
“Only if you enjoy quality of life.” He responds, eyeing the pull-out couch with a frankly judgy look on his face. “How many people live here exactly?”
Keep reading
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cyrddleofstew · 1 year ago
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My love will never die
Pairing: Aleksander Morozova/General Kirigan/The Darkling x moon summoner! reader Summary: You knew Aleksander before he was a Black Heretic, a foldmaker. You married him and promised to be by his side through thick and thin. And you never, ever regretted your choice. However, one day, your paths parted in an unfortunate way, and you both believed that the love of your lives was gone forever. After many centuries, you meet again with a man very similar to your Aleksander. And you start to wonder... maybe your love never die after all? Warning(s): ANGST, de@th mention, the reader yearns for Aleksander, and Aleksander yearns for the reader :c I USED FRAGMENT OF THE SONG "Jeg Saler Min Ganger" FROM THE SERIES "LOKI" Nonsense from me: So this is request from @morrigan-crowmwell Thank you so much, I was super excited to write this! I hope this is more or less what you asked for and that you like it.♡♡ I'm sorry it took me soooo long! ♡♡ Word count: 13k
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"Aleksander Morozova! You'll be late to meet your mother!" you squealed as he stole another long kiss from you. "We don't have time for this, Sasha." you moaned, when he moved his lips to your sensitive neck.
"Nonsense… I always have time to properly say goodbye to my wife before I leave." he murmured against your skin, sucking on your weak spot behind your ear. He smiled slyly, hearing the sweet moan coming from your red lips, swollen from kissing.
Saints, he could stay in your arms for the rest of eternity.
"As much as your wife loves your goodbyes, she'd rather her mother-in-law didn't wander in the middle of one, looking for her spoiled son."
"This is how you say goodbye to your husband, lapushka? Calling him spoiled and hurting his feelings?" he asked indignantly, hovering over his beautiful wife and looking at her intently. He wanted to burn the view below him into his mind until he was back in her arms again.
"I have been "goodbye-ing" you for three hours, Aleksander. Don't you think that's enough for a 4 day trip?"
"I need at least one more hour to enjoy you." he murmured, placing more kisses on your already-marked neck.
"If Baghra finds us…" you moaned as he bit your neck gently, effectively silencing you, and got out of your head all the reasons why he should go now.
"It would be helpful if you would stop thinking about my mother while I try to kiss every inch of your gorgeous skin. Besides, don't worry about her. She likes you—sometimes even more than her own son, I have to admit. If anything, she'll blame me."
"Don't worry, sobachka (puppy), you'll always be my favourite." you smirked, flipping him onto the mattress of your bed and straddling him, marking his skin with your lips, making sure you'd give him back the same favour.
"I thought we didn't have time for this?" he purred meanly, pleased with your attention.
"Shut up and kiss me, Sasha." you demanded with an equally malicious gleam in your eyes, knowing full well how this would end. Bagra was right. You had him wrapped around your little finger. Which was good considering how many female Grishas wanted to catch his eye.
"As you wish, milaya." without a second's hesitation, he grabbed your cheek and pulled you into a kiss, pinning you back under him on the mattress.
Disappointment, as usual, overtook you after waking up from this beautiful dream. During those few centuries, flashbacks about HIM only became more frequent. Someone should hang that fool who said time heals all wounds. In your case, it only made it worse.
You'd give anything to go back a few hundred years and not let him go alone with his mother on this trip. You didn't even remember why they went to Aleksander's sister.
You had a vague memory of that day, only remembering the morning with your husband and the fragments of the Fjerdans' attack on your village.
But the moment you found out you were a moon summoner will forever be etched deep in your memories.
You helped your best friend's family and herself escape when the men attacked you. You defended yourself using all the tricks and attacks Alexander had taught you, but it wasn't enough against a band of trained soldiers.
Just as he was about to slash his sword at you, you felt heat radiating deep from your chest. You screamed, falling to your knees as light began to emit from you, blinding some soldiers and killing those close to you. The first time you've used the cut and your power.
You escaped with your friend and her brother - the last survivors, and hid in the city, pretending to be siblings who managed to survive the great fire caused by Grisha.
It was hard to pretend to hate your own people and even harder to hide your new powers. But the hardest thing was going through all this without Aleksander by your side.
You tried to contact him, search in every possible way. But the world was different back then. Your attempts in advance were doomed to failure. And you knew it. But your stupid heart made you search for your husband until the end.
And you did. Until the news of the Black Heretic, the shadow summoner, who died while creating the fold, spread across the world.
You mourned Aleksander for a long time. Your life went on, but the wound of losing your husband never healed. And you knew it wouldn't. He was your great, true love. Your end game. It was impossible to let him go, to make place in your heart for someone new.
Time passed, and everything around you slowly changed. Except you. Your friends got old, grey, and wrinkled. And you remained the same as those decades ago. Then you discovered your second curse. You were immortal.
You and Aleksander could have lived together forever if not for Shu Han's and Fjerda's people.
It was the time when you vowed to finish Aleksander's work at any cost. His sacrifice will not be in vain. You were supposed to build a Ravka safe for the Grishas. All you needed was a sun and shadow summoner.
So you waited. At any sign of the sun summoner's presence. You knew Aleksander's lineage was fine. People often spoke of the descendants of the Black Heretic. You've never come close to them. You didn't want to relive the pain that would be associated with being with a member of his family. Aleksander had no children, but his sister probably did; maybe even Baghra found someone - you weren't sure about the old woman's fate.
The past centuries have not been kind to you. But this month was fruitful in terms of good news. The sun summoner has been found, the king of Ravka was ill, and your men were on the trail of Morozova's deer.
And that's how you were on your way to meet Alina Starkov and the descendant of the Morozovas, General Kirigan.
You were supposed to change the world together - in memory of your Aleksander.
~•♤♤♤•~
Aleksander had never been in such a hurry to get home before.
He was so desperate to have you in his arms again that he even ignored all of his mother's taunts, remarks, and other snide comments. All that mattered to him now was coming home to you.
That's why he bravely endured his mother's teasing remarks as they rode horseback towards your cottage.
He was excited, only moments away from returning to the love of his life.
He missed you more than he dared admit to anyone. And he was a little ashamed of how an ordinary woman without Grisha's powers, like you, could have such power over him.
NO. You were not ordinary. You were his wife, friend, lover, support, rock, asylum, home. The only one to whom he entrusted his heart and soul voluntarily and without the slightest hesitation.
And with this gift his sister gave him, Aleksander will make sure you stay with him forever. That you'll live as long as he does. Neither of them, nor he, Baghra, nor his sister knew if this "gift" would work.
But Aleksander would be damned if he didn't try to keep you in his arms forever.
It didn't matter how many times he failed, trying to make you his equal, trying to turn you into a Grisha with similar powers to his. He was ready to do everything for you.
Aleksander sped up seeing your house. In his haste, he didn't even notice that he had lost his mother and that the scenery around him seemed to be getting darker and more frightening.
He practically leapt off his horse and raced to the door, opening it and rushing inside as fast as he could.
"Y/N?! Sweetheart, I'm home!" he shouted, expecting that as soon as you heard his voice, you would come running, throwing yourself into his arms.
But he was greeted by nothing but a terrible, deadly silence.
The scattered things in the corridor made him slightly anxious, but he dismissed his dark thoughts by saying that you were a little mess. However, after he still didn't hear any response from you, he started to worry.
He entered the living room only to find shattered furniture, an overturned bookshelf, and a broken window.
He panicked. He went mad with fear, screaming your name and running around the house like crazy, looking for you or any clues to where you might have run away.
His heart stopped when he found your battered body under an overturned wardrobe.
In the blink of an eye, he got you out from under the furniture and took you in his arms, trying to bring you back to consciousness.
"Y/N, please, Y/N, open your eyes! You can't leave me, not like that! Y/N! My sweet wife, my heart, please open your eyes!" he was shaking you in panic, begging all the saints to prove his dark suppositions wrong.
"Aleksander?" your quiet, tearful whisper both relieved him and broke his heart.
You lived. He hasn't lost you yet.
NO.
He couldn't lose you. He has to take you to the healer.
"Yes, love, it's me. Everything is fine now. I got you. Just stay with me until I get a help."
"You promised to protect me... why didn't you protect me, Aleksander? Have you stopped loving me?" your desperate whimper tore his soul in half. He began to shake all over, despising the feeling of helplessness and distress that had completely taken over him.
"What? No, I'll always love only you..." he felt your body suddenly go limp in his arms. He gripped your shoulders even tighter, shaking you in his panic attack. "Y/N? Y/N?! Y/N open your eyes! Y/N no! Don't leave me! Darling, no!" he screamed desperately in pain, burying his head in your hair and crying as he knelt on the floor and rocked with your cold body in his arms.
~•♤♤♤•~
Aleksander sprang from his bed.
The general was breathing fast, trying to calm himself after another nightmare involving you.
His beautiful wife. His epic love.
For hundreds of years, the day he lost the only love of his life played out in his nightmares in different ways. This time, his subconscious was kind enough to let him talk to you for a while. Usually, he finds your body either impaled or dismembered. He never managed to save you. With none of those dreams.
His dreams might have macabred the events of that day, but he had never, in all those hundreds of years of his life, forgotten what really happened. He has not forgotten the grief, anger, sadness, and despair that overcame him when he and Baghra found their village burned to the ground without any trace of you.
Despite his search, he still didn't know what really happened to you, and he doubted he'd ever find out the truth. If all this had happened a few years later, if he hadn't been a boy just discovering the true power growing within him then, but the man he is now, you'd never despair like that. You'd never leave him to mourn over the future you two could have if only he was more powerful.
He was trying to fool himself. Telling himself that if you survived, you would have lived a much better life than you'd lived with him by your side. What could he have given you, then? An uncertain future, living in hiding, being hunted by the king's men? You were worth much more. You were worth all the jewels and treasures of this land, safety, peace, family, and happiness. Aleksander couldn't give you that. Not then.
He couldn't remember how many sleepless nights he'd spent wishing he could meet you now, to have you by his side, when he was this powerful man who could look after you properly, who would throw the world at your feet or burn it to the ground, depending on your humour.
But every time the sun came up and he had to continue playing his new role, the bitter reality made him realise that he would never have you again. He will never feel your soft skin under his fingers again, never lose himself in those beautiful, mesmerising irises, never run his hand through your hair, never take in your wonderful, intoxicating scent, and never taste your alluring, feisty lips again.
He was alone. And he will be until the end.
Until he widens the fold and makes sure no more Grisha dies at the hands of common otkazat'sya. That none of his people will repeat your fate.
He was supposed to change the world - in memory of his Y/N.
And then, maybe fate will be kind enough to reunite him with his beloved wife on the other side.
~•♤♤♤•~
Alina Starkov was a pain in the ass.
It took the girl only 15 minutes to run away from Kirigan's Grishas and get herself into trouble. She has damn luck that you decided to follow her and rescue her sunny ass.
You disappeared as soon as you made eye contact with her after you burned the Fjerdans with your pale, white light.
You wandered through the forest, cursing under your breath at the carelessness of both sun and shadow summoners. You didn't know which was worse, the impetuous girl or the thoughtless general who just let her get away.
With helpers like that, you'll have to work twice as hard to make the fold bigger. Fate really had no mercy on you.
You stood by the river, sighing in relief as you washed the blood from your face with cold water.
Your moment of peace didn't last long, however. You sensed an additional presence—someone creeping towards you. You took out one of your daggers and braced yourself for an attack.
But the moment you turned to face your opponent, you froze.
Aleksander...
He was standing in front of you. In a black kefta, a man so like your husband that just looking at him hurts you more than any blade could. This gaze, this face, were hunting you each night, every time you closed your eyes. And now he was standing right before you.
And the worst of it all was that it wasn't your Aleksander.
Only his descendant looking just like him. A shell that resembles the only man you've ever loved.
In your rage, you attacked him first, taking out your anger on him for the saints for continuing to play you mercilessly by putting your husband's doppelgänger in your way.
But Kirigan did not give up so easily. As soon as you moved towards him, he too snapped out of his strange daze and drew his dagger as well. The clang of metal echoed across the clearing as you both tried to find the other's weak spot. Oddly enough, you both did it at the same time.
"Put that down and I'll consider whether or not to spare your life." he growled, holding your arm in a tight grip as he felt your nails digging through the skin on his hand.
"Femoral artery. You'll bleed out faster than me." you replied with a malicious smirk, ignoring his threats.
"Who are you?"
"My mother taught me better than to make friends with the stranger freak in the forest, sir. Especially when they have a dagger dangerously close to my back." you kicked him, pushing him away from you, and attacked again. The clanking of steel against each other echoed across the clearing as your daggers met halfway. You growled in frustration, pushing him away.
"Your mother should teach you not to attack everyone you meet. You may encounter someone much stronger than you." Kirigan recovered faster this time, storming at you.
You ended up in a rather uncomfortable position as you held the steel against his heart and he wrapped his arm halfway around you, pulling you close. You didn't know if you were more dissatisfied with the metal digging into your chest or with his hands on you.
"And yours that you shouldn't raise a hand against a woman. I guess they both failed."
Did you both just say the exact same thing when you first met your husband? Yes.
Will he get lenient treatment from you just because he looks like your Aleksander? Absolutely fucking no.
Taking advantage of his moment of inattention as he stared at you distractedly, you pulled out the second hidden dagger and placed it against his neck. You tried to push his hand away from you, but the man, feeling the extra-cold blade against his skin, woke up from his trance and grabbed your left hand aggressively.
He moved your blade away from his neck and pinned you to the tree, slamming your left hand hard against the trunk, making the weapon fly out of your hand and bury itself in the ground near his foot.
Kirigan pressed his dagger to your side, leaning closer to you. He stared intently into your eyes, and for a brief moment you saw longing flicker in his dark eyes, which then gave way to rage and frustration, equal to the one that exploded inside you the moment you saw him. The moment you noticed that saints still played cruel with you by creating someone so damn similar to your husband.
He has no right to have the same face and eyes as your lost love.
"What. Are. You?" he asked, pausing on each word to intimidate you and bring his face closer to yours. But you didn't care much. You have hundreds of years; nothing, especially the doppelgänger of the man you love, could scare you.
You stared at each other with hostile eyes, and for some reason (other than your dagger at his thigh), he had some sort of hatred for you as well. So much so that he didn't notice how your powers reached for each other where your skin touched.
Strangely, it felt familiar to you. HE felt familiar.
You stared into each other's eyes as you unknowingly leaned in closer. You were about to try to break free from his grip when a sudden snap of branches caught your attention.
"That's you! She saved me from the Frejdans, sir." Alina's voice pulled him out of this strange moment between you two.
You wanted to find a sun summoner. You spent several hundred years on this, but the girl had hellishly bad timing.
Kirigan moved away from you, but you both continued to aim your daggers at each other, not trusting each other for a moment. Even though Alina just admitted that you saved her life.
"Why did you do that?"
"Someone so powerful like you should recognise when they stand before their equal, general Kirigan." you sneered, glancing for a moment at the woman standing next to both of you. Fortunately, nothing happened to her. She had a few scratches, but nothing that even the most ordinary medic couldn't heal.
"And how exactly are we equal?"
You smirked mischievously as you slipped the dagger into your sheath.
You linked your hands, focusing on the warm feeling of your light coursing through your veins, and without taking your eyes off the general's, you pulled them apart, revealing a thread of white light. You spread your arms wider, causing the rays to illuminate the clearing around you.
They both stared at you in amazement as your light turned into stars, which then arranged themselves into constellations. Figures of saints ran around you until you flicked your wrist to make them disappear.
"Melinoe Petrova. Moon Summoner. I think the three of us are going to change the world together."
You watched the speechless Alina with satisfaction, but your smile faded as you shifted your gaze to Kirigan. You had some difficulty reading him, but even more so understanding the longing in his eyes.
It seems your problems with a shadowman have only just begun…
~•♤♤♤•~
Kirigan didn't trust you.
You weren't surprised by it, but you hoped it would be easier for you to manipulate him. Apparently, the descendant of Aleksander inherited family cunning and distrust.
It's been a month since your little encounter (and fight) in the woods. In the meantime, you've been living in the Little Palace with the other Grishas; you met the king and got your own fancy kefta.
Black kefta. With moons, stars, and so on.
You wouldn't care about the colour of the fabric if it didn't turn out that only Kirigan wore one. Bloody Alina was the first to find Genya and get herself a blue one. So you stayed in your black kefta, pretending the general wasn't trying to mark you as his property.
But the son of a bitch liked your look in his colours too much for you to accept it.
It didn't help that he was too much like your Aleksander, either. Many times you've held back from taunting, making snide comments, or yelling at him just because those fucking dark eyes looked at you, taking you back hundreds of years to the time when HE was by your side and looked at you like that.
The similarity between them was not only in appearance. They had a lot in common when it came to character traits. Stubborn, mischievous, prescient, well-read... sometimes, when you spent too much time in his war room, you found yourself thinking of him as your Aleksander.
So slowly, despite all your self-loathing, you fell in love with the general.
That's why you were hiding from him in the library, hoping Alina, Zoya, or anyone else would keep him busy tonight enough to forget that you were supposed to meet him after dinner.
You had to suppress that stupid feeling. He was not Aleksander. He was just your husband's doppelgänger. Just a shell of your lover.
"Mel? Are you okey?" Alina's soft, concerned whisper snapped you out of your thoughts.
"I'm fine. Another nightmare?" you asked, patting the space next to you and opening the edge of the blanket for the girl to sit with you.
Your beginnings with Alina were not colourful; the sunny girl irritated you and could easily throw you off balance. But as time passed, you became friends to the point where you comforted her after her nightmares about the fold and the deaths of her loved ones. Sometimes you would read her old Ravkan fairy tales or sneak into the kitchen for hidden sweets. In more critical situations, you would drag her outside to the gardens, where you would sit on the pier by the lake, watching it gleam in the moonlight.
In a way, you too found solace in comforting the girl. It was nice to have company after being alone for so long. Fighting your past, which was showing up in your dreams, was easier with a ray of sunshine by your side.
"No. This time I can't sleep."
"Are you bothered by overly comfortable pillows, or maybe our princess felt a pea under the mattress?" Alina snorted, shaking her head. It took her some time to realise that your sarcastic remarks were not intended to offend her but merely to make her laugh.
"I'm thinking about Mal."
"Oh yeah… your boyfriend and childhood friend, what's up with him?" you asked, slamming the book shut to turn all your attention to the black-haired girl.
"He's not my boyfriend. We are only friends." she murmured, blushing, obviously awkward at your apt comment.
"Sunshine, I can recognise the face and eyes of a woman in love. You can't hide your feelings from me."
"Well, you're not the only one with this gift. Kirigan also gives you an infatuated man's look. Don't deny it! Even Ivan can see it. I think that already half of the second army knows about their general's fondness for the moon summoner." she teased you with a cocky smirk on her face. You rolled your eyes, returning your attention to your book.
"Please, half of the Grishas look at me like that."
You knew what Alina meant. Kirigan looked to you as the solution to his fold problems - as did the other Grishas. Little did they know that instead of being their saviour, you gonna be their worst nightmare... a White Heretic.
"No, not in that way. They look at you, at us, as saints, as saviours who can destroy the fold. He admires you, not your power. And judging by the fact that you're still wearing a black kefta, he's not indifferent to you either."
You inadvertently snuggled deeper into the black material. Alina was partly right; maybe you didn't want to get involved in any romance, but it would definitely be easier to manipulate the general who is infatuated with you. You could have taken advantage of the fact that seeing you in his colours put him in a strangely pleasant mood. You've used your black clothes more than once as a weapon in your negotiations with the dark general.
"I have a black kefta because some irritatingly fast sun summoner found Genya first and got herself a dark blue one. You didn't leave me much choice, Alina."
"How sorry I am for that. By the way, Kirigan asked about you. He waits in his chambers, longing to finally see you after you've been ruthlessly ignoring him all day."
"I'm not done with you, Starkov!" you shouted after her, but the girl was already at the door, sticking her tongue out at you.
"See you in the morning, Petrova! You will tell me about your meeting with the General." she said as she walked away, slamming the library door.
"That little bitch." you muttered under your breath, wondering if you should go. You could have lied to him and said that you didn't meet Alina and forgot about your meeting. You only doubted the sun summoner's loyalty to you...
However, you started gathering your things, knowing full well that you would have to leave the library anyway.
You frowned as you heard soft footsteps behind you that probably no normal human would have heard… at least not one who hadn't lived at least a hundred years of hiding and running.
"Ivan." you greeted him without turning to face him. The man stopped, obviously surprised that you sensed his presence. However, he quickly returned to his unemotional mode.
"Miss Petrova. The General requests your presence in the war room."
"I was on my way." you replied, knowing full well that the man knew the truth. More than once, he chased you around the Little Palace at the general's behest. Fortunately, he had enough sense in his head not to make Kirigan aware that your memory was reliable and you didn't meet him only out of your own reluctance (actually, a huge desire to see him). "Alina just told me he wants to see me."
Ivan nodded and waited for you to escort you to the war room.
~•♤♤♤•~
Considering the fact that you were a regular visitor to Kirigan's war room, you should know the way to his chambers. But each time, you seemed to take a completely different route than the last time.
Ivan had to repay your elusiveness by making the longest trips to the general's room.
But this time, heartrender quickly dropped you off at his general's door and, wishing you good night, disappeared into one of the corridors.
You sighed, not wanting to face your growing infatuation and subsequent attempts to manipulate the general into carrying out your plans today.
You opened the door, entering the "vestibule". You pricked up your ears as you heard Kirigan talking to someone very familiar. Zoya.
"You used to call on me. On times like this. Your table wasn't messy, and in bed, it was me instead of these books. I can help you make it all right. Just let yourself relax." without knowing why, you wanted to go in there and interrupt whatever plan she had to seduce him. And not because you felt jealousy eating you up inside. You were supposed to be the one to lead him by the nose to do whatever you wanted. Not that windy bitch who was ruining your plan.
"I shall relax when my moon summoner comes here to help me with this. With her by my side, you don't need to worry about me anymore. I'm with the perfect helper." you chuckled internally, wanting so much to see the look on her face after he had rejected her. You figured this would be the perfect time to step in.
"Am I disturbing?" you asked as you walked inside.
If Zoya was an inferni, the general's room would probably go up in flames at the sight of you. Kirigan, on the other hand, seemed very pleased to see you. His eyes were focused only on you. And your black nightgown, over which you threw on (also the black) kefta he ordered.
"Not at all. Zoya was about to leave a few minutes ago."
"General." he said. Kirigan did not even glare at her as she bowed to him. She walked past you, giving you a hostile look, which you only smirked at.
"Didn't you forget something?" Kirigan's sharp question broke the silence between the three of you. Zoya stood immobile, as if engraved. She stared at the general for a moment, then clenched her hands into fists and bowed to you.
"Miss Petrova." she growled, then stormed out of the war room, slamming the door.
"It wasn't necessary. You'll only infuriate her more by forcing her to show me respect." you said, turning to face the general, who was suddenly right behind you. He was the only one who could sneak up on you. A skill he used extensively.
"You're the moon summoner… you'll get all the respect you deserve. I'll make sure about it." he murmured, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear.
"You can't make people do it. Respect is something that has to be earned, something that has no meaning if it is given involuntarily." his silence surprised you. He usually answered your words with 10 of his. But now he was staring at you silently, which didn't help your already fast-beating heart. "So what do we have on the agenda today, general? Arguments about whether we really need First Army soldiers or you don't know where Loavana is."
"I know where Loavana is. I was tired then, and besides, you were the one who turned the map and misled me."
"Of course, general." you snorted, smiling teasingly. You moved to the other side of the table, tactically increasing the distance between you. "So, did you summon me for any reason other than staring at my natural glow? Because honestly, I'm getting a little bored." you said as you sat down on the table and casually reached for one of the orders he had written.
"Always impatient." he muttered, suddenly appearing in front of you and gently taking the paper from your hand.
"Always too mysterious."
"This may surprise you, but I have other things on my mind than your natural glow, little moon."
"What a shame." you murmured, placing your hand over your heart in a hurt gesture. But you became serious when you saw him staring dully at the map. "What's bothering you?"
"The Fjerdans have moved closer to our border."
"How many?" you asked, jumping off the table and turning your full attention to the distressed general.
"Several branches. Enough to get our attention and attack one of our regiments." he replied, pouring himself a glass of liquor and handing you your own.
"We need to speed up Alina's training. Before all hell breaks loose and our great king orders our troops to be divided to fight the Fjerdans. The fold case must be finally closed. Before we go to another war. For now, we have to send some of our healers and additional troops there. If there are more of Grishas there, no Fjerdan will dare attack them. They will shift their attention to the soldiers of the first army, and this will no longer be a direct problem for us." you turned to him, confused by his silence. Kirigan stared at you with a gentle, tender smile on his face and a longing, dreamy look. The silence between the two of you and the gaze he was giving you embarrassed you. "What? Why are you looking at me like that? Did I say something wrong?"
"No." he grunted, shaking his head as he blushed slightly when you caught him staring. "I just... I was fighting this war alone for so long."
This was the moment. You had to cast your net over him, surround him at his most vulnerable, and make him fall for you.
But you forgot to guard your own heart in the process...
You grabbed his hand. Your powers combined as usual when your skin touched, causing you to be enveloped in the utter darkness of his shadows, with only the white light emanating from your joined hands illuminating your faces.
"You're not alone." you whispered, afraid to break the spell between you. Afraid that the moment your voice reaches him, those damn hypnotic eyes will tear away from yours. Afraid your mind is about to scold the stupid heart that beat for the man before you. A man who, for the sake of your sanity, was too much like the husband you loved.
"I've been waiting a long time for you." he replied just as quietly, afraid to break the sanctity of the moment. Afraid it was another of his cruel dreams where he would have your dead body in his arms again. But the reality was even more brutal for him. Because the woman who stood before him, the woman who looked exactly like his wife, wasn't her at all. And that didn't stop his cold, centuries-old heart from beating for her.
"Believe me, not as long as me." you whispered. Tears began to gather in his eyes, threatening to spill out as he raised his other trembling hand and cupped your cheek. The feel of his cold hand on your face made you realise what you were doing. He was not Aleksander. He wasn't yours. And you will never be his. "I think I should go." you grunted, stepping away from him.
His shadows returned to him, as did your light. Everything has returned to normal. Except for the frantic beating of the hearts of the two of you.
"Don't forget about tomorrow's ball. We're supposed to put on a little show for the king and his nobility."
"How could I forget that we're supposed to be circus monkeys tomorrow?" you asked with a pugnacious smirk, to which he just shook his head in amusement.
"Don't let anyone else hear it. I don't want to visit you in a dungeon… however tempting you look in chains." his bold suggestion shocked you, but you decided to play on without giving him a chance to have the last word. You walked over to him and, ignoring his intense gaze, whispered in his ear with your lips brushing his earlobe.
"I'm not that easy to put in chains, general." you brushed his cheek with yours and disappeared from the war room at the speed of light.
It was something you could do. Game, flirt, chase, challenge—all kept away from any emotion other than lust. It was a game. Manipulation game. And you were going to win it. For your Aleksander and other Grishas.
~•♤♤♤•~
Your dress was so beautiful and wonderful. You admire Genya's skills, but what she did for you this time was indescribable.
With trembling hands, you smoothed the fabric of the dress around your waist, admiring the intricate embroidery of the constellations. The white and silver threads shone in the candlelight like real stars on your dark blue dress.
You didn't like getting dressed up, getting your hair up in a fancy hairstyle, or wearing those uncomfortable ball gowns. In fact, you've only worn formal clothes a few times in your life. But only twice did you feel like a true goddess, a queen. Today and on your wedding day.
"Who put that veil on you?" Baghra's grumpy tone snapped you out of your thoughts as you looked at yourself in the mirror. You had a lovely dress, even considering that neither you nor Aleksander and his mother had as much money compared to other families. But it didn't matter. Not for you. The most important was Alexander and you. And not the judgmental looks of other people. It was your day and no one could ruin it for you.
"Myself. Something's wrong?"
The woman sighed as she walked over to you and unfastened it with unusual delicacy for her, mumbling something about your blindness as she adjusted your crooked veil.
"Now. You look almost properly. You're missing one thing."
"Which is?"
She reached into the pouch strapped to her side and pulled out something shiny. She gestured for you to turn towards the mirror. You did it while watching a woman put the most beautiful necklace you've ever seen around your neck.
"Bagra is… it's wonderful. I can't…"
"Yes, you can. And you will be. I won't let that old hag gossip about my daughter looking like a poor peasant on her wedding day."
"Thank you." you whispered in a shaky voice, more concerned that the woman called you her daughter than the ridiculously expensive and beautiful necklace.
"Come on. Don't cry, or you'll turn red and scare everyone, including my son. You'd better hurry up. The boy is about to have a heart attack if you're another minute late. If it wasn't for Ulla, he would have run here 10 minutes ago."
"Did she manage to come?" you asked as she took your arm with the obvious intention of walking you down the aisle.
"Of course. That's my daughter. She wouldn't waste the opportunity to tease her crazy-in-love brother." you giggled, not missing her little smile. The woman stopped right in front of the exit door, giving you a serious look. "Y/N, are you absolutely sure you want this? You know our true origins, my boy's character, and all the dark things our family has been through. Are you absolutely sure you want to join this mess? 'Cause once we walk through that door, there's no turning back."
"I think we both know the answer to that question, Baghra."
"No. I need to hear it. Do you truly want this?"
"I dream of nothing more than marrying Aleksander, and spending my whole life with him, no matter how long or short it may be."
The woman nodded silently and opened the door.
A wide smile appeared on your face as soon as your gaze met the clearly nervous Aleksander. He calmed down the moment he saw you, an equally goofy, in-love smirk playing on his lips. And when he finally had you at arm's length, he didn't hesitate to grab your hands in his firm grip, never taking his eyes off yours for a moment.
It was just you and him. Lost in your love.
And so began your little eternity together... shorter than either of you would have liked.
You'll always remember that day, even if it was associated with bittersweet memories of your all-too-short marriage. A single tear fell from your eye. You wiped it with the sleeve of your dress.
Your hand automatically wandered under your dress, absently stroking the Baghra's necklace to which you had attached your wedding ring. The only memento of your past.
In another life, you and Aleksander could have had it all.
"Little moon? Are you ready?" Kirigan entered your room." We're going... soon." you could see in the mirror how he froze as his eyes met your reflection in the silver mirror.
You turned to him, making a sweeping movement with your skirt. You wouldn't waste your chance to be a diva. However, you yourself soon succumbed to a similar blackout as his as soon as you assumed the general's appearance.
The saints really liked to torment you.
There was no other explanation for why the man in front of you looked almost exactly like your husband on your wedding day.
Aleksander couldn't take his eyes off her. She was perfect. Ethereal, otherworldly, and breathtaking. His Y/N... No. She wasn't her. No one could be her, not even a woman with her face. Which didn't stop him from giving himself to this dream that it was his wife standing in front of him. He spent hundreds of years in suffering; maybe this one night he can afford to live in his most beautiful dreams, where SHE would still be with him.
He cleared his throat, snapping you both out of the strange, nostalgic atmosphere.
"You look amazing." you blushed as you turned back to the mirror, pretending to consider the truth of his compliment.
"Thank you. Genya makes wonderful dresses." you reached for the kefta thrown over the armchair, but the man beat you to it.
"Please, allow me." you nodded to him. You turned your back to him, waiting for him to put the kefta on your shoulders.
He smoothed it out, letting his hand brush the fabric of your bare collarbones for a moment too long. You shivered as you felt the tiny touch of his fingertips on your bare skin. Good thing the kefta covered most of your bare arms. You didn't want to give him satisfaction for how he was affecting you.
But judging by his dilated pupils, you weren't the only one who felt the attraction between the two of you.
However, you will definitely not be the one to give in to such trivial desires. He was not Aleksander. Nobody could.
"Thank you again." you murmured as you pulled away from him, smiling. You preferred to act oblivious to his advances rather than risk giving in to the lust that was evident between the two of you. Although you knew there would come a point in your little game where you'd have to seduce him a bit to lull his guard down. And you feared that moment more than entering the fold.
"Anytime, love. Shall we?" he asked, offering you his arm. "I hope you spare me at least one dance." he murmured, smiling at you with that flirty twinkle in his eyes as he kissed your hand.
Wonderfully. Now he was supposed to be your personal bodyguard for all night.
You sighed, grabbing his arm. Kirigan pulled you closer as he escorted you through the maze of corridors.
It was going to be a really tough day. - you thought, allowing yourself to steal a glance at the general who was already watching you. - Especially with those eyes so focused on me.
~•♤♤♤•~
The Kirigan left you alone for a moment just before entering the ballroom. You were to wait for him and Alina, and then the three of you were to give little shows of darkness and light.
So you waited patiently until someone bumped into you, knocking you to the floor.
"Watch where you walk!" you growled, dusting yourself off as you got up off the floor. The hooded figure stopped and turned to you. You both froze when you saw your faces.
"Y/N?" Baghra asked in disbelief. "It is impossible." she whispered, coming closer to you and catching your hand in a strong, bruising grip, only to grab your necklace later, which had slipped out from under your dress after you fell. She looked at him tenderly, shifting her gaze to you.
"Hello mom." you whispered uncertainly, fearing your mother-in-law's reaction. She liked you, it's true, but in the meantime, you managed to disappear without a trace for hundreds of years. You didn't know what your relationship was like now. But rather, neither of you could be hostile to the other.
"It's really you… But how? I… we thought you were dead, child. Where have you been all this time?"
"A little here, a little there. Forgive me for not writing or coming. I think you understand perfectly well why I didn't."
"Not even a bit, actually." she replied, confused. You frowned. You've never seen Baghra confused. It was a strange sight, to say the least, and definitely worth remembering.
"You know how dear he was... Aleksander is to me. After his death..."
"Death?" she asked. You didn't know if you misheard or if the surprise in her voice was genuine. She rather knew about his death, didn't she?
"Yes. While creating a fold." you explained, looking at her intently. But Baghra's face never betrayed anything. Not any single emotion. She tucked the necklace under your dress and grabbed your shoulders.
"Oh, my dear child. For all this time..."
"Baghra!" Kirigan's scream echoed through the empty corridor. The woman stepped back from you like she was burned, watching the general with contempt as he approached the two of you. "What are you talking about with my moon summoner? I hope she didn't bother you too much, Miss Petrova."
"Not at all. Actually…"
"I was just leaving, moi soverenyi." the woman interrupted you, giving you an enigmatic look, before she turned her back to you two. "Enjoy yourself, Miss Petrova." she threw over her shoulder as she walked away.
"Crazy woman. But he teaches the young Grisha well. What did she want from you?"
"Nothing special. She asked where I was from and what I was doing here. I don't think she's heard of the new moon summoner yet."
"Probably you are right. Let's go. We've got a show to play."
He took your hand gently and led you to the centre of the room, where Alina was already waiting for you.
You had a simple task. Kirigan summons shadows. Alina, on the other side of the room, her golden rays, and you, the white moonlight that was supposed to connect with her powers, then break up into several constellations.
A child's trick and spectacle for the common folk who treated you like toys all rolled into one.
Everything was going smoothly. Suddenly, the room was completely dark. You waited patiently for Alina's light to appear on the other side of the room. When suddenly someone approached you from behind.
"It's okay, it's me. It's just me, you're safe."
"What are you doing?" you asked as he wrapped his arms around you from behind, taking both of your hands in his.
"Don't you think this is the best place to watch the whole show?" his question confused you. You turned in his arms, miraculously seeing those bloody, dark eyes in the darkness. The mischievous sparks both made your chest feel warm and terrified. The bastard was up to something.
"I doubt it; with my light, you'll barely see Alina's trick."
"Works perfectly for me, my little moon." he whispered against your ear. You tensed as you felt his soft lips on your earlobe.
Suddenly he leaned in, the tip of his nose tracing a path from your ear down your skin, sending shivers down your spine as he inhaled your perfume and those damn distracting lips slid from your ear to your neck.
He started placing small, wet kisses there. Your brain has melted. It stopped working while the general was kissing every sensitive spot on your neck. He read your body so damn well that if it weren't for his quick reflexes and his hand over your mouth, your loud, obscene groan would have echoed in the darkness of the ballroom.
You felt the light involuntarily escape from you and thanked all the saints that you lost control just as Alina finished her part.
You tried to push the shadow summoner away from you, but your attempts were so futile (and reluctant) that you quickly gave up, focusing on doing your job with his intoxicating mouth and roaming hands on you.
The son of a bitch was lucky to stay in the shadows, unseen by anyone but you.
You internally cursed yourself for how much easier it was to do the whole trick with him around.
To your great disappointment, he moved away from you just before the grand finale. You were panting, trying to calm your wildly beating heart, and breathing as the light began to take over the ballroom.
And those fucking dark eyes and smug smirk were the first damn thing you saw when you and Alina lit up the room.
People started applauding. Kirigan came up to you and grabbed your hand, and after Alina joined you, you bowed to everyone, gathering an ovation. You glanced briefly at Kirigan, who was staring at your neck. You just hoped he didn't leave a hickey in plain sight. But judging by the way his smirk widened and the way he ran away from you as soon as you were surrounded by a crowd of people, you assumed you had a new, not-so-visible yet bruise on your skin.
You'll kill him as soon as you get your hands on him.
~•♤♤♤•~
You stand in the darkness of his war room, waiting for him to finally appear. You played with the dagger in your hands, contemplating meeting Baghra. You felt something was wrong, something was missing. The woman's behaviour both helped you and, after the general's arrival, gave you a lot to think about. She was hiding something. But what?
you sighed. If only Aleksander was here. It would save you a lot of trouble. Among other things, intimidating his doppelgänger, who started to stick to you too much - much to your tacit approval.
But you were aware that this attraction was only due to his resemblance to your Aleksander. In a few decades, Kirigan will die too. And you will be completely alone again.
The sound of his boots hitting the floor snapped you out of your thoughts. You braced yourself for an attack and jumped on him just as he flanked the door and stepped inside. You pinned him against the wall with a dagger to his neck as he gave you a surprised, amused look.
"Hello, moonlight. Do you like the ball?"
"What the hell was that?!" you growled, pressing the blade against his skin as you made a small, harmless cut.
"You put a dagger to my neck far too often, darling." he noted, frowning as droplets of blood decorated the silver metal.
"Don't change the fucking subject! You have no damn right to act like this. Lay your hand on me like that again, and I'll make sure you don't have anything to summon your shadows with, general."
"So my lips on your incredibly alluring soft skin were no problem for you, my sweet moon?" he asked maliciously, raising an eyebrow. You growled, irritated by his arrogance. You guessed you preferred it when he responded to your attack with his own dagger.
"Do that again, and you won't live to see another moment to find out."
"You forget..." he mumbled, suddenly grabbing your hand holding the blade and wrapping his other around your neck. He pinned you against the wall, making sure there was no space between you two. "That you're not the only one with power here."
"You'd better let me go, little shadow, before you unleash hell you can't stop." you growled, summoning your light, which immediately met his shadows. You fought, jostling with your powers and staring hard into each other's eyes. You weren't going to lose this fight.
"You underestimate me, darling. I'm more than able to face any of your hell."
You didn't know why, but that sentence, the confidence in his eyes, the arrogance in his voice, and the same immense need that was hiding under both yours and his mask of restraint changed something between you two.
His already dark eyes were practically taken over by black pupils that stared at you lustfully. The intoxicating smell of his perfume, the warmth of his body, and those damn big, cool hands on your hot skin only made you accept your spur-of-the-moment decision.
With his hand still tightly wrapped around your neck, you leaned forward and pressed your lips against his.
You both groaned in unison. Your only consolation in this situation was that before your hands hooked on his strong arms, holding on tightly for fear your legs would give out, you could hear his dagger first drop to the marble floor, seconds before your blade.
You only broke apart for a moment before quickly removing the other's kefta and catching the other's lips again. You fought for control, biting into the other's lip every now and then, which only met with more resistance and the will to fight. Neither you nor he were made to lose.
At one point, he grabbed you by the waist, wrapping your legs around him as he carried you to the nearest flat surface—the war table. With one flick of his hand, he swept all the maps, papers, and other stuff off him onto the floor and practically threw you onto a wooden table.
You gasped in shock as your body suddenly hit the wood, which Kirigan quickly took advantage of. He dug into your mouth, his tongue grazing yours as he tried to dominate you once again.
You growled, grabbing the back of his black shirt and tearing the fabric to get to his skin, where you didn't hesitate to leave blood crescents in the shape of your fingernails.
He hissed away from your kiss-swollen lips and bit into the same damn spot on your neck where he had dared leave a hickey before.
Aleksander...
You froze. It wasn't Aleksander. It will never be your Aleksander again. No matter how damn similar they were.
Kirigan continued to kiss your neck when you finally decided, with a heavy heart, to push him away with a gentle kick.
You both stared at each other, gasping for breath. Kirigan took a hesitant step towards you and raised his hand to gently stroke your cheek. But you jumped off the war table before his skin could touch yours and start your kissing session all over again.
You had to escape from there. As soon as possible.
"I... I should go." you mumbled, shoving past him to pick up the kefta that had been thrown on the floor by him.
"Wait a second..." he followed you but stopped the moment his eyes met yours again. You both wanted each other. You were both held back by the very same thing that attracted you in the first place.
"We have a hard day tomorrow. Make sure Ivan wakes up Alina; she's not such an early riser after all." you mumbled in panic, backing towards the door.
"Melinoe." he tried to stop you, but your hand on the doorknob was faster. You opened the door, and without looking back, you threw over your shoulder:
"Good night, general."
You ran to your room, and before anyone could stop you, you shut the door. Tears began to flow freely from your eyes as you slid to the floor.
For a moment, a fleeting little moment, you were Y/N again. You were that 20-year-old girl kissing her husband again. But Kirigan could never be Aleksander. And even if you gave him your heart, he would shatter it to pieces over time when he, like other descendants of your Aleksander, reached old age. You were doomed to be lonely. But the fact that a person with eyes, a face, and a mind so like your husband was at your fingertips wasn't helpful to your already broken soul at all.
You just wanted to have your husband in your arms again. Was it so much for the saints to accomplish? You sobbed piteously until you fell asleep on the floor from exhaustion.
Little did you know that a few floors above you, someone was also mourning their dead significant other. And he also cursed fate for putting in his path a woman so similar to the one for whom he would give everything he held dear.
One thing was certain. The longer you stayed in the presence of the other, the more you lost your mind. But neither of you was ready to deprive yourself of the toxic pleasure of seeing the living face of your beloved, lost spouse.
~•♤♤♤•~
As planned, the next day you headed towards the border with Fjerdans. Neither you nor the general spoke to you most of the way, which Alina and Baghra noticed. Yes. Baghra went with you. The general was just as shocked as you, but surprisingly, he didn't argue with the woman about her unannounced presence.
The only thing you were afraid of during this trip was crossing the land where your village used to be. Aleksander's house and yours. It also didn't help that you were supposed to be there on the exact anniversary of his death - the creation of the fold.
You thought it would be easier for you to ride a horse through the only place where you were happy, but the wave of memories flooding you did not allow you to pass by indifferently.
"You'll never catch me!" you run away from him, laughing.
"If I catch you, the game will be over. But since you're insulting my capabilities…" you yelled as you ran away when Aleksander rushed to you.
You ran along the river, looking over your shoulder every now and then to make sure your boyfriend wasn't right behind you.
Suddenly, a cloud of shadows appeared in front of you, from which your Sasha came out and grabbed you by the waist. You thrashed in his embrace, causing you both to fall to the ground, laughing.
"Aleksander! You shouldn't use it in public!" you scolded him, punching him lightly in the chest.
"We are in the middle of the forest. There are only us and some animals."
"Still it is risky for you. Don't make me tell your mother about this."
"Could you please stop threatening me with my own mother?" he groaned, throwing you off him, to which you squealed indignantly. You stared with your daggers at the man lying before you with a mischievous smirk and an amused twinkle in his eyes.
"Since I found out she likes me and trusts me more than you? No, it's too funny, my grumpy shadow-man." you laughed. You rolled your eyes as you watched his expression growl. You climbed on top of him and kissed the crease that had formed between his eyebrows from your comment. "I'm soooo sorry, Sasha. You know how much I love you, right? You're the most important person in my life, Aleksander Morozova."
"And you in mine, Y/N Y/L/N." he murmured, grabbing your cheek and pulling you into a sweet, slow kiss. You purred, enjoying the feel of his lips on yours - something you'll never get tired of. He pulled away from you far too quickly. He licked his lips, looking at you nervously. You raised an eyebrow, questioningly. "Y/N... can I ask you a question?"
"Right now? I thought you gonna kiss me a little longer, but if it's so important." he chuckled, shaking his head, as he leaned down to catch your lips in a kiss again.
"Happy, lapushka?"
"Not really, but I'll try to survive a few minutes without your lips on mine." he chuckled, but you knew from the features of his face and the gentle clasping of his shoulders that something was bothering him. You just hoped he wouldn't have to leave with his mother again... "What did you want to ask me?" Aleksander cleared his throat, taking your hands in his trembling.
"You know that I love you. I can't imagine how my life would have turned out if you hadn't put that dagger to my throat five years ago right here."
"I knew I recognized this place from somewhere." you cut him off, looking around the clearing. Aleksander laughed, catching your attention again as you blushed at how stupidly you interrupted him. But it seemed to help him relax, judging by the way his hand confidently reached out to cup your cheek.
"You make me laugh. Even on the darkest, worst of days. Just one look at those wonderfully beautiful eyes is enough to completely change my mood. One word from you and all my plans and beliefs fall into oblivion. You are the light in my darkness. The only good thing that happened to me. The only person who isn't afraid of what I can do. The only person who looks at me with such adoration despite my shadows."
"You know I love them. I love all of you, Sasha. Nothing will change that." you replied with tears in your eyes, suspecting what his confession would lead to.
"I know I have nothing worth you and that the life I can offer you is nothing compared to what you deserve, but you know me better than I know myself... I would go crazy if I wasn't the only man who has the privilege of seeing your face first thing every morning and falling asleep in the presence of your beauty. I'd go crazy if someone else could be called yours..." Aleksander took a simple gold ring with a small black gem from his pocket.
You gasped, knowing full well how much money he must have spent on even such a simple engagement ring. Baghra was supposed to skin your fiancé when she figured out what he wasted their money on.
"Sasha..." you whispered, crying, moving your gaze towards him.
"Y/N, kei onolich yash (will you marry me)? Will you be my wife?" too moved to answer him, you pulled him into a kiss. You both smiled like idiots. "I'm guessing it's yes then, but I'd rather hear it from you before I tell everyone else."
"Yes. Yes, I will marry you, you idiot. You didn't have to buy me a ring, Sasha. I would say yes without it."
"I wanted to make sure you wouldn't reject me." he replied with a mischievous smirk, putting it on your finger. You huffed and punched him lightly on the shoulder. The ring sparkled in the moonlight. Your face hurts from smiling. "I promise you, Y/N one day I'll give you the prettiest, flashiest ring in all of Ravka."
"And I will still prefer the one you gave me today." you replied without a second of hesitation, pulling your fiancé into another kiss.
The Kirgian ordered a stop, which everyone accepted with gratitude. And when others Grishas dispersed to their tasks, you decided to go to the place where your house and Aleksander's once stood.
Since you were already a stupid girl, as Baghra so nicely called you, this little trip shouldn't hurt you. You'd rather be stupid and crazy—completely mad from love—than ever forget about Aleksander and move on.
And that's how you got here. By the river, close to the place where you used to be the happiest in the world, and now you were shedding a sea of tears over the life you lost.
"I will build you a palace."
"What?" you asked, giggling as you looked away from the stars to your husband lying next to you on the grass.
Sensing the movement of your head, he turned around to look at you closely. You both loved nights like these. Your hands intertwined as you both lay on the ground looking at the stars and talking about your day, your plans, and your dreams. It was a sacred ritual between the two of you that you performed at least once a week.
"A palace. For you and our future children. A safe place where we can live with our little family."
"Sasha... I don't need a palace to feel safe with you. You are my shelter. My protector. What we have now is more than enough."
"That little hut where we barely fit in with our stuff, even though we don't have much anyway? NO. You deserve all the treasures of this world, Y/N" he murmured, stroking your cheek tenderly.
You sighed, pressing your cheek against his hand, enjoying every ounce of his attention. It's been getting more and more dangerous around here lately. You seldom had time to spend together; you were too busy with the Grisha needing your help. But you didn't mind. As long as Aleksander's eyes gave you that loving, adoring look at least once a day, you were ready to face anything to get back into his waiting arms.
"I already have one." he raised an eyebrow questioningly, looking at you in surprise. You just smiled, pulling him to you by the chin and connecting your lips in a kiss. Aleksander rolled over and hovered over you, not breaking your tender kiss. You placed your hands on his cheeks and gently pulled him away, looking into his eyes. No stars in the sky could match the brilliance of his dark irises. "You are my treasure. With you by my side I want nothing more. You're all I need to be happy, Sasha." you mumbled, stroking his cheeks with your thumbs. Aleksander buried his face in your hands, closing his eyes for a moment and surrendering to this tender gesture.
"You deserve much more, milaya. And I promise, by all the saints and stars in the sky, I'll give you the world."
"Everything in time, Aleksander. Now, kiss your wife and show her how much you love her." you giggled as his long hair tickled your cheeks as he dutifully caught your lips in another sweet kiss.
"Was he really worth it?" Baghra's question cut through your sobs. You wiped your tears, not wanting to cry in front of her, and turned to face her. "Wouldn't you rather curse him for creating a fold and for leaving you than mourn the bastard that was my son? Y/N, child, you have eternity ahead of you. An eternity where you can be happy. Is Aleksander worth wasting it?" you laughed bitterly, knowing the answer to her question all too well. Nothing has changed over the centuries. And you knew nothing would change your feelings.
"You know very well that I will never know happiness again. Not without him. I've never done that in all these years."
"There had to be a moment. Even the smallest." she tried desperately to convince you. You dropped your head, remembering those few moments between you and Kirigan in Little Palace.
"There was. Next to a man who looked like him. But after a while, it dawned on me that he would never be Aleksander. Call me and think about me however you want. Pathetic child, crazy woman… But the truth is, I loved your son, Baghra, and I will always love only him. Our hearts were created by the saints as one and divided in two, placing one in Aleksander and the other in me. There is no one in the world I could love like him, with whom I could be truly happy. This type of love never dies, Baghra. Even separated by a grave."
"What if you got him back? If he was with you, but he wasn't the same man you remember?"
"It wouldn't matter. We are all changing. I know I would love him as much as I did then."
"I just hope you know what you want, child. And that maybe he'll go back to who he used to be because of you." she sighed, leaving you alone with your grief. You frowned, analysing her vague words.
It wasn't until it started to get dark that you got up from your knees and brushed the dirt off your clothes. You were about to leave when the crunch of branches caught your attention. A foolish hope rose in you and you lifted your head, only to meet your eyes with the Kirgian.
"General. I was just returning to camp." he nodded his head without a word.
Taking that as your cue to leave, you turned to take one last look at what used to be your home. You sighed tremblingly as a lone tear rolled down your cheek.
And you whistled.
It was a fragment of an old Ravkan song about lovers returning home after a long journey to throw themselves into each other's arms, longing for separation. You and Aleksander adored it. And you decided that every time one of you left home, you would whistle that particular verse that stuck in your mind.
In storm-black mountains, I wander alone
Over the glacier I make my way
A cool breeze caressed your hot (from crying) skin. But the goosebumps that formed on your arms weren't from the cold at all.
"In the apple orchard stands the maiden fair and sings, When will you come home?"
You froze. Incapable of anything but breathing. You misheard. It's just one of your stupid fantasies, your mind playing tricks on you, or another cruel dream about how you got back the man you loved. It couldn't be true. It couldn't be real.
But the man holding your arm in a tight grip and turning you around to face him felt very real. AND ALIVE.
"Sasha?" you whispered tearfully, shaking all over, and if it wasn't for his strong grip on both of your arms, you probably would have fallen to your knees in front of him long ago, unable to do anything other than stare hopefully at the man in front of you.
Aleksander's heart shuddered and threatened to burst as the pet name, unused for hundreds of years, reached his ears. In an instant, you were on his chest as he hugged you with all his might. With your ear to his heart, you listened to his beating, and for the first time in hundreds of years, you cried WITH HAPPY.
"It's me, milaya. My sweet Y/N, my moon, my heart, my wife. It's me."
You heard him through a haze, too intent on his eyes to understand anything more from his speech. It was him. Your Aleksander. All this time. He was saying something to you, but you completely ignored him as something gold around his neck shimmered in the moonlight. You pulled the chain from under his jacket, sighing as you saw his wedding ring hanging securely on his necklace. A sob of disbelief escaped you. It was really him.
His hand cupping your cheek caused your watery gaze to shift back to those dark, beloved eyes.
"No more tears, milaya. You do not have to worry. From now on, I will never leave your side again. Not for a single bloody second."
And that was enough for you.
Grabbing his hair, you pulled him closer to you to feel his lips on yours as soon as possible. It wasn't one of those soft, gentle, unhurried kisses that lovers share after they meet after some separation.
It was intense, desperate, and needy, expressing your deadly longing for each other's lips through those painful years without each other. You didn't have the strength to hold back, to pretend you didn't miss that exact feeling all those lonely nights.
It didn't matter that your tears mixed and you could taste their salty taste on each other's lips. It didn't matter that your lungs were burning for air. It didn't matter that you had already fallen to your knees, too shaken by the feeling of the other's lips, but both of you longed too much for this closeness between you to deprive yourself of the warmth of the other's body even for a millisecond. It didn't matter if your lips were too swollen to decently go back to camp and pretend nothing had happened between you two.
You sincerely doubted that you would be able to take even a step towards the camp. Not after you trembled in Aleksander's lap as his hands caressed every inch of your skin.
But the moment came when you had to pull away from each other, cursing the need for air. You rested your forehead against his, inhaling his scent and clinging to his kefta to be as close to him as possible.
You both knew that there was no way you were going to be an arm's length away from each other. And you were seriously considering sticking with him permanently. His dark cloak looked big enough for you to hide under it too.
You couldn't believe your luck. He was here. With you. You had his arms around you again as you both clung desperately to each other.
Your Aleksander. Your husband. Your loved one. Your heart.
He had you again. His wife. His soulmate. His sanity. His equal. HIS EVERYTHING.
You wanted to pull away for a moment to look at his face again, but something tugged at your neck, bringing your head to Aleksander's shoulder. You looked down. Your necklaces are tangled.
"Seriously? It couldn't have happened a month ago?" you groaned as you tried to untangle your chains. You smiled, hearing how your husband laughed carelessly for the first time in centuries, since the day he lost you. "We'll never hear the end of it from Baghra, you know about it Sasha?" you asked, resting your forehead against his as you gave up on releasing the two of you. It didn't matter that everything was against you again. At least now you finally have Aleksander with you. YOUR real Aleksander.
"She had already called me a blind fool before she made me come here. I think we'll hear a lot from her about our stupidity." he murmured. You shivered as you felt his fingertips on your neck as he untied your intertwined necklaces effortlessly. He unclasped yours and, with great delicacy, placed the ring on your finger.
"Remind me to thank your mother for making you come here later." you replied, making sure his wedding ring was on his finger as well. Maybe you won't scare all the bitches away from him, but at least you'll make it clear that he belongs only to you. After hundreds of years without him, you have the right to be territorial.
"Later?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.
"You don't think I'm going anywhere other than your tent and your bed right now, do you?"
"Our bed." he murmured before grabbing you in bridal style and heading for your tent. "By the way, I must commend you for how bravely you resisted the charms of someone who wasn't me. I barely managed to kiss you properly before you pushed me away."
"I don't know what I should do to you. Slap you for groping someone who had my face, or kiss you for only being attracted to my beauty."
"You have to admit, you didn't resist me much back then, my little saint." he murmured, kissing you again. He ran his hand through your hair, pulling you all the way onto him so he could feel your weight on him. You were with him. Body and soul. And it wasn't a dream. "Let's go to that tent before I have my way with you here and now." he muttered, getting up.
"Wait." you grabbed his hand. He turned to you, giving you a questioning look as he found you still kneeling on the grass. "Before we do anything. We both agree that we are not going to destroy the fold, right?"
Aleksander held his breath. He forgot how damn perfect you were. How you fit in and understood him in every way. And only the slight ounce of control he had left was keeping him from lunging at you right now as you kneeled in front of him with those beautiful, mesmerising eyes staring at him.
But after all, Aleksander was only human. A man whose cruel fate separated him from his beloved wife for many centuries…
He pulled you close to him in one swift motion. You crashed into his chest, completely unprepared for the sudden movement, but his intoxicating lips on yours compensated for your shock.
You moaned into his mouth as he pulled away from you so as not to lose his control completely.
"Saints, you have no idea how much I've missed you, my little moon."
"I'll take it as a yes." you replied, giggling as he put his arm around you. As you'd guessed, you fit perfectly with him under his cloak. You sighed, intoxicated by his scent.
"You know so well that I'll do anything for you. The fact that our plans coincide only proves that we belong to each other. And only to each other."
"Always, Sasha. I'm yours for eternity." you replied, smiling slightly as you turned to steal a glance at him.
"And I'm yours for the rest of our lives and beyond." he murmured, kissing your forehead.
You practically ran through the camp, ignoring Baghra's knowing, malicious look and the shocked expressions of Alina, Zoya, and Ivan (at which you giggled, causing Aleksander a small, tender smile) and Fedyor's smirk. You entered his tent, laughing as you started kissing while taking off each other's clothes.
"I hope you realize we don't leave this tent for at least a week?" he asked as he laid you down on the bed. However, the bastard didn't wait for your response, stealing a kiss from you.
"They'll be looking for you, Sasha." you mumbled between your kisses and grabbed his cheeks to make him focus on something other than your lips.
"What a pity I'll be too busy with my wife to notice anyone else but her." he lowered his head to your neck, making your hands tangle in his hair. You sighed, feeling his tongue on your skin just before he gently bit you.
"I thought we had a battle to win." he suddenly stopped all his movements. He intertwined your ringed hands and cupped your cheek with the other, forcing you to look into his eyes.
"My little moon, I'll postpone any goddamn war for you. There is nothing in this world more important to me than you and never will be." he promised, pressing his lips to yours.
You moaned, enjoying the long-forgotten feeling of his skin against yours as well as knowing that your love would never die.
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cyrddleofstew · 1 year ago
Text
I want a reason to wake up in the morning.
I want to wake up early hours of the day to walk and see the stars, alone in the serenity, as I gaze on the form mother nature has took shape. I will stare in awe and wonder, why haven't I been living? Spending early mornings and sleepless night, wasting away, an overly fatten geese, birthed for display. I do not want to be a stock for show, a physical body that pull envy from every single eye. An alluring beauty yet nothing but a hallow husk. Let me have substance, a meaning to this feeble existence. Let me live.
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cyrddleofstew · 1 year ago
Note
OKAY! i’m thinking about hate sex with pierre chavanges! idk! reader’s from another farming family or something and there’s always been a nasty rivalry! CULMINATING IN A MESSY ASS HOOKUP IN THE PASTURE IDKKKKK!!!
the cow prince & the dairy queen
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word count: 2k
warnings: smut, fem reader, rival sex, teasing, petnames? (he calls you princess in a teasing way ig), praise if you squint, fingering, mostly porn, little plot, p-in-v, no protection, fingering, messy messy messy, dirty talk, outdoor sex, panty stealing (hehehe)
a/n: ANON!!!! THIS IS THE KIND OF SHIT I’M TALKING ABT!!!!
you can find pt.2 here!
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your eyes rove over the newly published feedback for the farm’s overall status. surely your name would be sitting comfortably within the top five again. your brows scrunch together as your eyes slide down to #6, where the familiar letters arranging your last name were printed. “bull fucking shit..” you mumble to yourself as you see who took the “Top 5” slot out from underneath you: chavanges.
pierre-fucking-chavanges. you shake your head with a scoff and discard the papers on your kitchen counter. outside, you hear a distant cow, your signal that it was time to milk.
-
it’s well past noon when you find yourself in the far pasture. a recent storm had caused a lone tree branch to fall, damaging a fence post amidst the carnage. the branch had been chunked and hauled, leaving you to only worry about repairs now. you sat straddling the post when you hear the stones along the dirt road crunch behind you.
“the queen not with her herd? what a rarity these days…” the all too familiar nickname and voice instantly lit a fire under your skin. you twist around to shoot a glare at the man leisurely strolling up to you, his hands in the pockets of his blue jumpsuit.
“what business does the cow prince have with me?” you turn back to the skein of wire in your hand.
he crosses the shallow ditch and stands off to your side, eyes tracking your movements as you hop off the post to begin winding the thick wire between the posts.
“you see the new rankings?”
“if you just came here to gloat, you can fuck right off.”
“such a harsh mouth for a lady,” he chided, though his shit eating grin told you all you needed to know.
you stand on the opposite side of the mended fence, arms crossed over your chest as he leans his arms atop one of the posts. after a few beats of tense silence, you finally sigh. “what do you want, pierre?”
“i want to know what the hell you’re doing.”
“excuse me?” instantly, you’re taken aback. “uh.. fixing a fence? i thought that much was obvious?..”
“no,” he exhales, a hand running through his hair, “i want to know how your quality count is higher than mine.”
finally, it’s your turn to don the shit eating grin. “oh, is that what this is about?” you shrug, feigning an air of indignation. “i just know how to keep my girls happy.”
pierre rolls his eyes. “we both know you’re influencing the list.”
you give him a hard stare, eyes scanning his face, and when you see that he isn’t trying to pick at some stupid joke, you stalk up to him form your side of the fence. “are you insinuating that i’m bribing the fucking count?” you hold a breath,. “answer carefully, chavanges,” a warning.
he quirks a brow at you, and you swear there are fewer things that could’ve pissed you off more. “i guess maybe i’m asking. so, y/n, who did you have to fuck to give you those numbers? because i’ve seen your cows, and-“
your fist around his collar cuts him off. he stares at you, smug that he elicited a reaction. after a long moment, you shove him away. with a concentrated breath, you compose yourself.
“what, no denial from you?” he challenges again.
you watch him closely, face inches from his. then a sly smirk cracks on your lips, “careful pierre,” you lean in even closer, “you’re sounding jealous there. if you asked kindly, i may consider fucking you too.”
you catch how his jaw clenches, not expecting you to rebound it so effortlessly.
you keep pushing, “what?” you mock his tone from moments before. “no denial?”
“no.”
you make a small noise of surprise. “what?”
“i said ‘no’. i’ve got nothing to deny.”
you shake your head at his stoic gaze, his eyes unflinching as they find yours. “you’re crazy-“ you scoff.
“are you saying you don’t?”
“don’t what? want to fuck you too?”
silence hangs thick in the afternoon air between you two; a staring battle of wills. you could feel your heart hammering in your chest, the heat of the sun only adding to the suffocating tension. finally, pierre’s voice shatters the quiet.
“are you going to invite me over this fence, or do you intend to make me beg?”
you don’t know what compels you to answer, let alone so quickly, but your voice is quiet as you nod minutely, “didn’t think you’d need an invitation.”
and with that, he hops over the fence post.
you aren’t certain who drug who to the outskirts of the field, but you’re pressed against a tree, pierre’s thigh slotted between your legs, his lips pressed against yours. it’s a mess of tongue and desperation. his hands grope at your clothes, wasting no time in pulling the waistband of your jeans past your thighs, his long fingers teasing the soft skin of your thighs.
you suck in a breath as his knuckle brushes over your slick core. your head falls back against the trunk of the tree, eyes fluttering.
pierre is nothing but smug as he chuckles, “you can say what you want, but now i know all it takes is some kissing to make the little princess this wet..”
you want to glare at him, but with the way your lips are downturned, it comes off more as a pout.
“aw, come on now,” he coos as his fingers tease your cunt. “don’t give me that look.”
“shut up.” you groan, “you talk too damn much.”
a quiet “yes ma’am” is muffled by his lips on your throat, teeth scraping over the flesh before his tongue soothes it. two fingers sink into your heat, immediately stealing the air from your lungs as you gasp at the intrusion. he nips at the skin in the junction of your neck and shoulder, and you swear you feel his smirk.
he’s observant, you’ll give him that much. your hands grip his shoulders as his palm brushes your clit, his fingers knuckle-deep in your fluttering pussy, sucking his fingers in deeper as he prods experimentally at your gummy walls.
“oh, fuck..” you whisper, your nails pressing crescents into his back that are sure to bruise.
his fingers find that gummy spot that has your thighs shaking, his other hand coming to hold your throat, keeping you pinned to the tree as he worked your dripping cunt up to a climax. “is that how you like it?”
you can’t even bite back a remark, not with the way you only seem to be able to moan helplessly. “shhh..” he mumbles, mouth ghosting over the side of your face. “can’t have anyone hearing how i’m about to make you come… they’re gonna think i’m giving away my ranking.”
“fuck, fuck-“ you whine despite your own will, “shut the fuck up-“
his mouth is on yours. a tongue quickly prods into your mouth, swallowing any sounds and complaints.
your jaw falls slack when you feel his fingers hit that spot just right, eyes rolling to the back of your head as your legs twitch in an attempt to close. it’s embarrassing, really, how easily he managed to have you creaming around his fingers. you bite back a whimper when you feel pierre retract his hand from your core and bring his fingers to his lips. your face is unbearably warm as you watch him lick his fingers clean, blue eyes staring into yours.
you aren’t sure what confidence possessed you, but you knew you would lose your mind if you walked away like this.
“take off your pants.” you say flatly, tone hinted with an urgency you weren’t even expecting. you were already tugging your jeans down the rest of the way when he began to undo his jumpsuit.
his lips were on yours again, slightly softer this time, but with a lingering desperation. you allowed him to guide you, laying you back into the tall grass. he hovered over you, his body so close and so warm it made you feel dizzy.
as he kissed you, his hand slipped to his pants where he finally freed his leaking cock, his hand slowly pumping it a few times as he hissed into your mouth.
“hurry up,” you wiggle your hips, hand in his hair. “we don’t have all day, your majesty.”
his eyes catch yours and you find the familiar glint. “is this your way of begging for me?”
you roll your eyes, but suck in a quick breath when you feel his tip tease your folds. a breathy moan leaves your lips as you feel him slowly begin to push into you. “fuck, pierre..”
you’d never admit it, but the way he groaned when you said his name had your cunt gushing. “s-shit… so fuckin’ tight.., ah-“ his hands on either side of your head managed to keep him upright, but you both paused when his dick was fully sheathed in your clenching heat.
the moment of peace quickly gave way to an obscene display of primal lust. your hands gripped whatever they could find: clumps of grass and dirt, his arms, his waist. his own hand was clasped on your hip, holding you still as he fucked into you with a fervor unmatched by any man you’ve been with before.
you were rendered incoherent, broken spews of whiny moans and breathy whimpers all you could manage. at one point you feel a hand slip under your shirt to grope at your chest. his calloused fingers tugged on your nipple, making your back arch as your cunt spasmed.
“pierre-“ you warn with a gasp.
his mouth fell slack as he breathe heavily with a groan, leaning down to plant a sloppy kiss to your lips. he panted inbetween kisses, “show me. show me how filthy you really are.” he angled your hips up, his dick hitting even deeper with each thrust. “show me how pretty you are when you come on my cock.”
you don’t even register the sounds coming from you when you come. his grip on your hip is near-bruising and he thrusts a few more times before pulling out. a trail of white paints your stomach with warmth as his dick twitches in his hand.
you stay like that for a moment; him kneeling over your spent figure, both of you panting softly under the heat of the summer sun. few words are exchanged as you both begin shimmying back into your clothes. he tosses you your jeans as he’s adjusting his shirt.
something’s missing.
you look inside your pants and scan the small area around you, confusion etched on your brow. you’re about to say something when pierre cuts you off.
“i think you lost your underwear somewhere.”
you stare into his unflinching eyes. with a shrug, you sigh and step into your jeans, grimacing when you feel the rough material stick to your core.
you both wander back to the dirt road where the mended fence still stood. with a small nod, he lit a cigarette and began to walk back in the direction of his farm. you stood and watched him.
you were about to turn and go your own way home when your eyes caught a glimpse of a familiar baby blue peeking out of the back pocket on his jumpsuit. you curse under your breath, chuckling in disbelief as you slowly started your way back.
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cyrddleofstew · 1 year ago
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Remembrance of Things Past
Aziraphale's scent-oriented, mindful moments in Good Omens also might be something else as well-- an attempt to circumvent the potential taking of his memories by Heaven. He might be trying to create for the future what are known as madeleine memories or involuntary memories-- the sudden rush of a memory prompted by a certain taste or, especially, by a particular scent.
On Aziraphale trying to get around Heaven by setting up triggers for The Proust Effect under the cut.
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I wrote a post awhile back about how I think one of the reasons why Aziraphale keeps a journal is as a way of having something that Crowley can show to him in the event that Heaven takes his memories. While reading something doesn't necessarily trigger a memory itself-- it can but it's not guaranteed-- I think there might be other things they are doing as well that they think might be effective in different ways when it comes to helping Aziraphale retain his memory. The biggest might be actively trying to create for the future what are known as madeleine memories or involuntary memories.
Understanding of involuntary memory? It comes from the extremely Aziraphale intersection of food, the French, literature and psychology...
For anyone who does not already know about involuntary memory:
In 1913, French writer Marcel Proust published the first volume in his 'In Search of Lost Time' series and it contained a passage about the power of memory so descriptive and that resonated with so many that it got scientists to actually study and prove the validity of the connection between scent and memory about which he wrote. Proust had his narrator in the novel describe how, after dipping a lime madeleine into a pot of tea, the scent and taste of eating the madeleine brought him instantly back to a specific time in his youth when his aunt would serve them to him while he was recovering from illness as a boy. He remembered details about her house and their time together, sounds and scenes that had dimmed or been forgotten entirely... all triggered by his mind upon smelling and tasting the specific combination of flavors of the tea-dipped lime madeleine.
Most of us have probably experienced something like this and scientists have since confirmed that it's a very real phenomenon, probably rooted in our need to be able to recognize danger by scent. They have also found that, in some cases and to a slightly lesser degree, hearing specific pieces of music can also bring about a similar sense of memory. Scent, though, remains the best possible trigger for memory.
I can't imagine that after seeing Crowley struggle with his own memory for so long and knowing that it could happen to him, too, that Aziraphale wouldn't be trying everything he could think of to be prepared for the possibility that it might.
In a story that has so much focus on memory-- and in a way that seems to potentially foreshadow that Aziraphale might (temporarily) lose his before the story is over-- there also are scenes that might suggest that Aziraphale's mindful moments might also be an attempt at trying to associate moments with scent in an effort to get around Heaven and retain as much of his memory as he can in the future.
But that's only one part of it... The other part is how he and Crowley are shown to consistently tie times in the present to times in their past.
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There are many reasons for doing so and we looked at some of them in other metas but another one might be as a way of trying to connect memories together in a way that, should Aziraphale lose his memories in the future, if one could be triggered with a madeleine memory, then other memories connected to it might follow.
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In the first episode, Aziraphale's mindful, sensual eating experience involves breathing in the scent of the sushi with his eyes closed, as if committing it to memory. The evening, as we looked at in the Fish meta, was supposed to be a dinner with Crowley tied to their time in ancient Rome. Breathing in brine and alcohol and salt like Aziraphale is here might also be a way of trying to literally tie these scents to his memories of the scents of oysters and wine in Rome so as to not forget either.
In the parallel to the sushi scene in 1.01, Aziraphale is shown in S2 to breathe in Goldstone's when he and Crowley go there in the present. It's part of the mindful experience for him in the moment but it could also serve as a way of trying to remember the events of both the present and 1941 in the future.
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Crowley also breathes in Goldstone's in the present in S2. It's something they both do without even looking at one another in the scene and just kind of know the other is, indicating that this is just a thing they do. Both of them do it instinctively, like the rampant sensualists using elements of mindfulness to work through trauma that they are lol. Aziraphale's eyes are again closed and I would bet that he's as much willing himself to never fully forget his human magic love and 1941 in the future as he is reliving memories of the past.
This scene is a really interesting inclusion because while it's set in our present of S2, it's really about the past and the future. No one has any trouble believing that they're both thinking of 1941 here, even as they're here in the present, and both of them are utilizing techniques both related to the present (mindfulness) to connect with memories of the past (Proust Effect/involuntary memory.) What else might be true as well is that they don't just do this for the past and the present moments but for potential future ones as well.
Then there's this...
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There are two scenes-- one in each season-- that focus on Crowley's unsurprisingly amazing scent. While memory wouldn't be the only reason why Crowley would smell great lol, both scenes suggest that Crowley's scent is unique and distinguishable. Sandalphon can smell it as being different from Aziraphale's cologne in S1 and Shax... a paralleling character to Aziraphale, played by the actress who played the character with whom Aziraphale shared a brain in S1... well, Shax is into it. Girl's in a dead faint to a point of straight up huffing him.
While there are others, one reason for this scene, though, could be that it parallels the fact that Aziraphale actually does this sometimes, if in a decidedly less ick way than Shax did lol. Part of why Crowley's been wearing the same, apparently quite appealing, scent for awhile now could be out of an effort to help Aziraphale's mind create enough associations between Crowley's scent and Aziraphale's memories that Crowley himself might be able to trigger some of Aziraphale's memories just by his presence alone.
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It's also then interesting-- and potentially a little eerie-- that the only time Aziraphale eats or drinks anything in the present in S2 is when he drinks a few sips of a cup of tea to introduce Muriel to the drink and the custom. This is just after Muriel showed up at the door and failed to recognize Aziraphale, even though he recognized them, in one of several scenes that suggest that Muriel had their memories taken from them at some point. The two characters parallel one another pretty strongly. The difference could well wind up becoming that Aziraphale is able to retain more of his memories because he and Crowley have been working for years to find ways to get around Heaven... and they're using knowledge uncovered by humans to save what they can of Aziraphale's memories.
Or, as Nina would put it:
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cyrddleofstew · 1 year ago
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Baby, It’s Cold Outside
Pairing: Modern!Aleksander Morozova x Fem!Reader
Summary: When you find yourself with nowhere to live, your friend Alina offers you the perfect solution - her Uncle Aleksander’s empty townhouse. What you don’t know is that Aleksander’s security cameras watch your every move, and Aleksander himself is almost instantly captivated by you.
Warnings [18+]: smut, dom!Aleksander, reader is staying in Aleksander’s house (supposedly) without his knowledge, subtle mafia vibes, power play, voyeuristic vibes from Aleksander, unspecified age gap, reference to oral (fem receiving), slight cnc vibes (no verbal consent but a safeword is established), smidge of size kink, very subtle hints that Aleksander wants children, he’s quite intense but she’s into it.
A/N: happy christmas everyone!
My Masterlist
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Aleksander receives an alert the moment his front door is opened. One glance at the screen of his phone reveals that Alina’s key card had deactivated the alarm system.
It isn’t unusual for her to invite herself into his townhouse in one of the affluent boroughs of the city. He rarely uses the space himself, preferring his smaller apartment in Central Os Alta due to the vicinity to his workplace. What is unusual, however, is that she has company today.
Aleksander has an extensive number of security cameras and microphones placed throughout his home. It helps to ease his paranoia and sate the need to control his surroundings. He doesn’t tend to check on Alina when she visits, leaving her to her own devices, but your presence has his interest piqued.
Alina doesn’t bother to take her shoes off, per usual. But you do. After dragging your feet over the doormat - twice, one foot after the other - you tug off your shoes, placing them neatly beside his shoe rack before hurrying to catch up to Alina as she heads towards the kitchen.
He’s proud of the townhouse, a space he had curated as a safe haven for himself and a currently non-existent significant other. Seeing you stare, lips parted as your eyes drink in the furniture and decor in what seems like awe, has a warmth gathering in his chest. He will admit, your admiration of his house is rather adorable.
Curious, he unmutes the sound on the security feed, just in time to hear your voice as you ask tentatively,
“You’re sure your uncle won’t mind?”
Alina opens up a cupboard, retrieving a bag of snacks which she examines with a small frown, before she rips the packaging open and begins to munch on the treats inside. She shrugs through a mouthful.
“He barely ever stays here.”
“But you did ask him… didn’t you?”
Aleksander vaguely remembers Alina mentioning a friend of hers that needed a place to stay. What he doesn’t remember is giving her permission to accommodate said friend in his house. But he watches Alina nod, scrunching up the bag as she finishes her snacks.
“He wants someone here to receive his parcels,” she says, tossing the crumpled wrapper towards the bin. She misses.
He doesn’t order anything to his house. All his parcels are delivered either to his work or his apartment. The townhouse is his hidden treasure, though strangely he doesn’t loathe the idea of letting you stay there. Perhaps he should place a few harmless orders, to aid Alina’s lie. Something inconspicuous, that you might enjoy, like a monthly flower subscription. He likes the thought of you assembling a cheerful bouquet in his living room.
“And you’re sure he doesn’t want any rent,” you say, picking up Alina’s rubbish and placing it in the bin. You’re already a perfect houseguest, though he hopes you might be able to feel comfortable enough to relax in his house.
Aleksander almost feels offended by your suggestion and is relieved when Alina shakes her head.
“If it makes you feel better, I’ll tell him I’m the one staying here. Besides, you’re like my sister. What’s mine is yours.”
“Even your Uncle Sasha?” you ask with a shy smile and this tiny glimpse at your humour has Aleksander wanting to devour you.
Alina grins.
“Especially him.” She pushes away from where she’s been leaning on the kitchen counter. “I’ll give you the password to his grocery account. Order whatever you like.”
That nervous expression returns to your features.
“Are you sure?”
“He gives me an allowance that I never use. You can have it.” She opens one of the kitchen drawers, rummaging through the contents despite Aleksander’s meticulous organisation. It doesn’t take her long to find what she’s looking for. “Here’s a key card to disable the security alarms and the wifi password.”
Aleksander watches you take the objects slowly, holding them in the palm of your hand before closing your fist around them protectively. Alina gestures upwards towards the rest of the house.
“Pick whatever bedroom you like best.”
Unknown by you, the moment you choose Aleksander’s bed to sleep in you become his.
»»---------------------►
As the owner of the internet router at his house, Aleksander can see what sites you visit while using his internet - a power that he abuses fully. He enjoys the insight into your thoughts and interests. The questions you have about the world and the things that make you happy.
During his lunch one day, Aleksander is scrolling through your recent search history when he spots something interesting. His name. Initially just a google search. Then you had examined his Instagram and Facebook, before moving onto his company website.
He’s tempted to pull up the security feed and rewind it back to the moment you had first typed his name, just to see your reaction to what you’re seeing. Especially when he sees how long you had spent reading the tabloids and swiping through images of him. It seems he has captured your attention.
»»---------------------►
It takes a small nudge from Aleksander for you to stop buying only the necessities during your grocery order. Just a few small taps of his thumbs and he adds enough random baking supplies for you to perceive it as an accident when it arrives.
One day, Alina visits him at work, a small box of cupcakes tucked under her arm. Instantly, he recognises them as one of your creations. He had watched you bake them yesterday head bobbing to your music as you had decorated them with an adorable frown of concentration and a smudge of buttercream on your face.
He waits until she leaves before cracking open the box, allowing the sweet sugary scent to invade his senses. The moan that escapes him during his first bite is obscene. He wonders whether your cheeks would flush with heat at the sound. His mind wanders, thinking of kissing the cream off your cheeks.
Aleksander finds himself imagining what it would be like to come home to you, the house warm and inviting as you await his arrival with a sweet treat and an eager smile. He would sink to his knees on the kitchen tiles, slide your skirt and apron up to your waist so that he can kiss your pretty cunt until his name is the only word you can manage.
»»---------------------►
Aleksander hates seeing you cry. But that job of yours was doing you no good. Waking up early to catch the bus and arriving home so tired that you don’t have enough energy to cook yourself a hot meal. Now, after Aleksander has pulled a few strings, you can sleep for as long as you like and spend time creating food that brings you joy.
He has already logged onto his grocery account and amended your weekly order to include a few recipes you wanted to try and some additional treats in an attempt at lifting your spirits. All he wants is for you to be happy.
He’s sorely tempted to go to you now. To wrap his arms around you, hold you against his chest and kiss the crown of your head while murmuring reassurances that this was for the best. He doesn’t like seeing you so despondent. He wants his happy girl back, who tends to the flowers and reads curled up in his armchair beside the fire.
He could just go to you. It’s his house you’re staying in after all. But he doesn’t want to rob you of your safe place. If he turned up now, he knows you would feel pressured to leave, even when you have nowhere else to go. His sweet girl, so terrified of taking up too much space. One day, very soon, he will be able to appreciate you how he longs to.
»»---------------------►
He thinks you might be trying to kill him.
Aleksander’s home gym is a room occupied by a treadmill and a few stray pieces of equipment that he hardly ever uses, there to fill the space he hopes will one day be converted into a nursery.
Currently, you’re stretching yourself out over a yoga mat he didn’t even know he owned, twisting your body into a rather enticing position. His mouth goes dry at the sight of you, shifting in his seat to alleviate some of the ache in his throbbing cock.
Whilst he’s glad you’ve found another hobby to fill your time - and the thought of your improved flexibility pleases him - he almost wishes he hadn’t checked in on you. Now, he is going to have to sit through a meeting and resist the urge to continue watching you.
»»---------------------►
Once a week, Alina stays over with you, spending the evening catching up and talking about all manner of things together. Aleksander likes to listen in while he’s working, imagining that he’s actually in the office across the hall from the living room.
Alina’s suggestion of a blind date for you makes him stiffen, lifting his eyes away from his papers and onto the screen. He’s somewhat glad that you seem apprehensive.
“I thought you didn’t like Mal?” you ask Alina, fidgeting with the edge of the velvet cushion in your lap.
She shrugs.
“Just because he wasn’t right for me doesn’t mean he won’t be right for you.”
Aleksander can say with absolute certainty that Mal is nowhere near the right man for you. He can remember when Alina was infatuated with the boy. If he strings you along like he did with Alina, Aleksander won’t be able to stop himself from interfering.
“I don’t know…”
“Don’t be mad, but I might have already made a reservation for you.”
“Lina!”
You swat her with your cushion - almost playfully - but Aleksander can see your anxiety in the set of your shoulders. To hell with not interfering. He mutes the sound on the screen, picking up his phone and dialling a familiar number.
“Zoya, I need a favour.”
»»---------------------►
He needs to play this carefully. With Zoya’s intervention at the bar where Mal was meeting his friends for a drink beforehand, he will never make it to your date. Aleksander needs to leave you waiting long enough to be relieved by his arrival, but not so long that the rejection damages your self esteem. From a corner of the restaurant, he watches your face carefully.
Each time a waiter appears, he sees you grow a little more agitated, fidgeting with your fingers as you insist that your date will arrive soon. It’s only once he sees you inhale shakily that he decides to pick up his coat and stroll over to your table.
“Is this seat taken?”
Embarrassment touches at your features as you glance up at him, then the tables surrounding you as you seem to assume he’s asking to take the chair to his own table. He watches your lips press together before you shake your head and gesture defeatedly at the chair.
“It’s all yours.”
He smiles widely, draping his coat over the back of the chair before he sits down.
“Thank you, milaya.”
The look of surprise on your face is delightful, even more so when recognition sparkles in your eyes.
“Mr Morozova.”
He’s exceptionally proud of the feigned confusion he spreads over his features.
“Do we know each other?”
“You’re Alina’s uncle.”
“Yes,” he says, the hint of a question at the edge of his tone. Ducking your head bashfully, you tell him your name.
He repeats your name slowly, as if it is the first time he’s ever spoken it, trying to ignore how wide your eyes are at the sound of your name on his lips.
“Alina mentioned you were looking for a place to stay in the city. Did you manage to find somewhere?”
You seem startled at the thought of him remembering you.
“Oh, yes. I did, thank you.”
He smiles. Alina had lied to him, telling him that she was the one staying at his house. Whilst he doesn’t want you to feel uncomfortable, the urge to make you squirm a little pokes at him.
“Do you like where you’re living now?”
He watches you shift nervously in your seat, but your response is earnest.
“Yes, I do,” you admit quietly. “It’s lovely.” He hums indulgently, hoping you might continue speaking, and you nod. “One of the nicest places I’ve ever lived.”
He wants to keep you forever.
Instead, he offers to buy you dinner, which you agree to after a little convincing from Aleksander. He asks for your order, calling the waiter over to place it for you both.
Now that you’re front of him, after watching you through a screen for so long, Aleksander can’t look away from you. In such proximity, he can observe every minute detail. The way you fidget with the charms on your bracelet. The way you attempt to be subtle when you glance at him, only to find his eyes already on you.
He drinks in the sight of you, warmth in his chest as you tuck into your meal. He will admit, he pays little attention to his own plate, choosing to watch as you eat eagerly with soft sounds of pleasure in response to the taste. All the while, he coaxes you into conversation and by the time you’ve finished you seem much more relaxed in his presence.
Aleksander leans back in his chair, swirling the wine around in his glass with nimble fingers. With a polite gesture to the waiter, he orders another bottle of wine. When the waiter mentions dessert, Aleksander raises a questioning brow at you. He can see the nervousness creep into your eyes at the thought of asking for more.
After you refuse his offer, he orders a plateful of dessert that he intends on sharing with you. When it arrives, he takes a few mouthfuls for himself before he offers a spoonful to you.
“Come on, milaya. I bought it for us to share.”
When you relent, leaning forwards to take the spoon from him, he retracts his head, pulling it out of your reach.
“Ah, ah. No hands. Let me.”
After ducking your head bashfully, you look down to avoid his gaze and Aleksander can see how flustered his words have made you. Still, you nod obediently. He moves the spoon back towards you, feeding you the dessert when you open your mouth for him.
He stares as your eyes flutter closed and you hum in delight at the rich taste with a pretty smile on your face.
Saints, you’re so perfect.
Aleksander pays the bill. He keeps his hand on your lower back as you walk to the entrance of the restaurant. He frowns at the sight of goosebumps prickling over your skin.
“Where’s your coat, milaya?”
“Alina gave me a lift here and I left it in her car.”
He tuts quietly in disapproval.
“Well, that won’t do, will it?” Aleksander places his coat over your shoulders, thick wool draped over your frame to shield you from the cold. He smiles at the sight of you, helping you tuck each of your arms into the sleeves. “There we go.”
You give him a bright smile and begin to play shyly with the buttons at the front of his coat.
“Thank you.”
“Let me give you a lift home.”
Immediately your smile falters and you refuse his offer.
“Oh no, I’m fine walking, thank you.”
“You’re walking?” The moment you nod he begins to shake his head. “Absolutely not.”
“I’m not living in the city centre. It’ll be too out of your way.”
“Nonsense.”
“Mr Morozova-”
“Call me Aleksander, please.”
“Aleksander,” you state slowly. “I’ll be fine, I promise.”
“I’m not going back to my apartment tonight.”
There’s a waver in your voice as you say,
“You’re not?”
He shakes his head.
“I have a house not far from here.”
He watches the internal struggle play over your face. Realisation. Anxiety. Words scrambling from your mind to your tongue as you attempt to create a confession. Sweet girl. Always so honest.
“Aleksander, I…” He watches you wring your hands, the sleeves of his coat covering all but your fingertips. “Alina’s been letting me stay at your townhouse. I’m so sorry for not telling you.”
He doesn’t respond.
Instead, he smiles at the valet, standing behind you as he waits for the man to retrieve his car keys. Leaning down, he presses a pacifying kiss to your temple, smoothing his hands over each of your shoulders, stroking your biceps. He can see the confusion in your eyes at his reaction.
“We’ll discuss this at home, darling.”
His tone leaves no room for argument, though he doubts you would ever openly disagree with him. He feels you shiver at the command in his voice and a thrill runs through him at the thought of you enjoying the role he has picked out for you.
The short walk to the car is silent, a few stray snowflakes beginning to fall. Aleksander keeps his arm around you, ensuring you don’t slip on any ice. He holds the passenger door open for you and keeps his hand on your thigh for the entire journey, ignoring your squirming.
“Aleksander,” you whisper. “I really am sorry.”
“Not now, milaya. Let me concentrate on the roads.”
He feels your skin flush with embarrassment at his condescending tone. The snow has quickly covered the world in white, thick flurries falling faster with every passing moment.
When you finally return home, he slips his coat from your shoulders, hanging it up in the hallway as he nods at your shoes, a silent order for you to remove them. With the height of your heels gone, you seem so much smaller than him as he looks down at you.
“I do not tolerate lying, milaya.”
“I’m so sorry, Mr Morozova. I can move my things out now-”
He presses his thumb against your mouth, index finger curling under your chin.
“I do not want to hear another word from those pretty lips of yours. Safeword is shadow. Understood?”
Excitement sparks in your eyes as you realise what is happening, and when you nod obediently Aleksander feels his cock throb. He knows you will enjoy this. He knows your preferences - what you search for when you’re eager to get yourself off.
“Good girl. Now go pour me a drink.”
Aleksander settles down on his favourite armchair in the living room, watching as you unlock the alcohol cabinet and pour him a small sample of whiskey, the liquid falling smoothly into the crystal glass. He stretches his legs out; his knees always ache during the cold weather. Soaking in a hot bath with you is certainly an enticing thought - perhaps for tomorrow evening.
There’s a slight tremble to your fingers as you hand him the glass.
“Thank you, milaya. Be a dear and take my shoes off - I can’t reach them too comfortably at my age.”
With fumbling fingers, you manage to untie his laces and loosen the shoes away from his feet, slipping them off easily enough. The sight of you between his thighs, kneeling on the ground is utter perfection. He smiles down at you, stroking his knuckles over your cheek.
“There’s a good girl. Place them in the hallway for me?”
In the time it takes you to move into the hallway and place the shoes down on the rack beside his front door, Aleksander has freed his cock from the confines of his trousers and underwear, hissing slightly as he grips himself.
When you return, the sight of him has your footsteps faltering in the doorway. He leans his head back, watching you through hooded eyes and a tense jaw. He sees your eyes widen, like a little deer in headlights. He sees your gaze flicker down to his exposed cock and your thighs tremble as they press against each other.
He tilts his head at you.
“Come sit on my cock, milaya.”
A slight shake of your head.
“It won’t fit.”
“Yes it will. Come here.” Still you don’t move. “I won’t ask again.”
His tone has you stumbling forwards.
As you struggle to straddle his lap, he pushes the hem of your dress, velvet smoothing easily upwards to reveal bare skin. The underwear you’re wearing is nice, though he knows you own much prettier sets. That knowledge reassures him that you hadn’t intended on sleeping with your date tonight.
Retrieving his drink from the table beside him, watching you with a self satisfied smirk as he lifts his glass to your lips.
“Some liquid courage for you.”
He breathes out a soft laugh when he sees your nose wrinkle at the taste; evidently you must have swallowed more than you were anticipating.
“Now let’s have a look at what we have here,” he muses, pushing the gusset of your panties aside to reveal your glistening cunt, flushed and glossy with arousal. A perfect little mess. “Have you been in this state since we arrived? Or during the car ride home?”
He can feel your body burning as you admit,
“Since dinner, sir.”
“Oh sweet girl, have I left you wanting?”
“Please,” you whisper weakly. He brushes the head of his cock over your quivering entrance, grinning at the sound of your whimpers.
“Let’s start with the tip, shall we?”
He begins to ease you onto his cock, stretching you out slowly and a small cry escapes from your lips at the sensation. Sweat glistens over your chest as you heave in a few hurried breaths.
Aleksander praises you with every inch, telling you how perfect you are as you writhe and buck against his hold. Once you’re fully seated on his cock, he runs his hands over your thighs soothingly, encouraging you to relax as your cunt continues to twitch around him.
He tugs the front of your dress down, revealing your breasts for him to fondle freely. His hands wander over your body, squeezing the sensitive flesh. Almost absentmindedly, he begins to play with your nipples, pressing kisses from your forehead down to your jawline.
“Such a pretty sight. How are you feeling, my love?”
“So full,” you whine, on the verge of tears. “So good. Aleksander.”
“That’s it, darling.” He holds onto your chin, forcing you to meet his gaze. “You’re mine, aren’t you?”
A weak shake of your head that doesn’t convince him. He suspects you can’t even convince yourself that you don’t want this. Nevertheless, he can’t help but argue with you.
“Who’s been housing you, and feeding you, these last few months?”
He watches your expression crumble in defeat, giving in to your desire.
“You have.”
“That’s right, milaya.” He grasps onto your hips, encouraging you to begin bouncing on his cock.“You have no idea..” The feeling of your cunt squeezing him like a vice makes him groan, hands gripping your trembling thighs. “…how difficult it’s been to resist buying clothes for you as well.” His words are breathless, panted out against your lips as he presses your foreheads together. “Dresses and skirts and pretty lingerie sets. But we have a wedding to save for, don’t we?”
His question seems to catch you off guard, as an obscene moan is ripped from the back of your throat. He rolls his hips upwards, notching the head of his cock against that sweet spot inside you that makes you clench violently. Something akin to a sob heaves at your shoulders as you tremble.
“I’m going to spoil you, darling. I want my ring on your finger. I want you in white lace and diamonds.”
Aleksander moans at the feeling of your nails digging into his arms through the fabric of his shirt. He keeps one hand on your hip, occasionally stroking the tense muscles of your abdomen, the other hand cupping your face so that he can kiss you.
He sees your toes curl, calves twitching as your cunt pulses an erratic beat that makes pleasure rocket down his spine. Aleksander moans your name softly, over and over until you’re shaking with overstimulation as you near your climax. When you begin to plead, he hushes you soothingly.
He knows you haven’t touched yourself in quite some time. He knows that the orgasm you’re seconds away from will unravel you completely. He can’t wait to see it.
“Let go, milaya. I’m right here,” he says warmly as he reaches down to rub firm circles over your swollen clit. “Cum around my cock like the good girl you are. Let me have you.”
Aleksander would consider it something of a religious experience, watching you lose yourself to pleasure. To see something so intimate, so sacred, in such proximity, when he has only ever seen you through a screen for months. The orgasm that hits you is lengthy, wave after wave of pleasure coursing through your body as your cunt pulses around him. Every movement, every sound you make, is so breathtakingly beautiful that he stares openly at you with his lips parted in awe. His beautiful girl. His.
That final thought is what pushes him into completion, spilling inside you with a deep moan. He looks down at where the two of you are joined, admiring the glistening mess there. He kisses your forehead as you slump down against his chest. There’s a dazed look in your eyes as you stare down at the buttons on his shirt, fidgeting with them absentmindedly.
“I can leave, if you’d like,” you suggest in a quiet murmur. He places his hands on your lower back, keeping you pressed to him.
“Don’t be ridiculous. You would freeze out there.”
Aleksander lifts you upwards, squeezing your hips gently as he does so, and his cock slips out of you. He leans forwards, kissing you again as he ticks himself back into his trousers. He sucks on your lower lip, dragging it lightly between his teeth as he buttons up his trousers with one hand.
“Stay,” he says.
The smile you give him is shy as you nod, whispering,
“Okay.”
He hooks his hands under your thighs, lifting you up into his arms. Instantly, you wrap your arms around his neck, coiling yourself around him as he carries you up the stairs.
Some of his cum slips out of you, as he lowers you down onto his sheets. He presses his fingers against your cunt, pushing his spend back inside you where it belongs. A quiet groan catches in his throat at the sensation of your warm cunt clinging to his digits, desperate to keep him inside. He curls his finger, pressing his thumb against your clit.
Aleksander grins when you cant your hips forwards mindlessly.
“What a mess we’ve made. Let me clean you up, milaya.”
Then he ducks his head between your thighs and enters heaven.
»»---------------------►
Aleksander nudges the front door closed with his hip, his hands occupied by shopping bags. He kicks his feet together to dislodge some of the snow stuck to the sole of his shoes, wondering if you’re still asleep.
He finds his answer in the kitchen; you’re dressed in one of his t-shirts. At the sound of him approaching you turn, wide eyed as he stands in the doorway, snowflakes in his hair. He notices your tears immediately, staining your cheeks as you sniffle.
“Milaya?”
“I thought you left me.” The words wobble on their way out. “I woke up and you were gone and I thought you’d left me.”
He lowers the bags, stepping towards you to take you into his arms. After the events of last night, it seems you’re in a somewhat fragile state. He folds his arms around you, giving your body a gentle squeeze as you press yourself tightly against his chest.
“The snow is getting heavy. I thought I would stock up on some essentials to last us until the weather improves,” he explains calmly. He hears how your breathing shakes with emotion. His clothes are still cold from his trip outside and you are delightfully warm. “As if I could ever leave you, my sweet girl.”
He kisses your forehead and your grip on him tightens.
“I’m here,” he murmurs gently, swaying the two of you from side to side as he strokes his hands down your body.
He ducks his head down, hooking a finger beneath your chin to tilt your head backwards so he can kiss you properly. His lips move slowly against yours, palms cupping your cheeks tenderly.
He ensures that you remain attached to him as he puts the perishables away, your arms looped around his neck and your body nestled into his side. Then he abandons the rest of the shopping, opting to bend you over the kitchen countertop, shoving his trousers down so that he can drive his cock into you.
He heaves a sigh of relief at the sound of your breathy gasp, kissing over your neck as you scramble for purchase against the marble.
“That’s it,” he breathes out with a smile, nuzzling his nose into the hollow of your throat. “Isn’t that better?”
Aleksander grips at your waist, dragging you towards him, delighting in your moans as he rolls his hips forwards. He curls a hand around your throat, squeezing lightly to bring your attention to his face. His nose grazes against yours as he insists,
“I meant every word I said last night.”
He leans in, kissing you throughly until he has to stop and breathe. Lowering his hand, his fingers circle your clit, causing you to jerk forwards with a soft moan as he sucks on your lower lip.
“I’m not letting you go, milaya.”
»»---------------------►
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cyrddleofstew · 1 year ago
Text
hysteria
kinktober, day twenty-eight
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a/n: look, we already know that I'm a nerd when it comes to medical history, so this really shouldn't come as a surprise. only thing surprising about it is how fucking long it took for me to finally write this kinda fic, damn, because this fantasy is ancient.
summary: “miss, I’m afraid to inform you that you have hysteria.”
warnings: doctor!aleksander morozova x innocent!reader, smut, dubcon, historical au, medical kink, time accurate sexism, fingering, sex toys (vibrator, fuck machine), penetrative sex, unprotected sex, size kink, squirting, dirty talk, multiple orgasms, creampie, overstimulation
word count: 1607
∼ gentle reminder that feedback, but especially reblogs are the way you support writers on here ∽
masterlist | join my taglist | kinktober 2023
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Eyes glued to the clipboard in his hand, doctor Morozova quietly read up from the list of symptoms he had just scribbled down, “…unmarried, insomnia, increased nervousness during social interactions… miss,” he then lifted his obsidian gaze and told you gravely, “I’m afraid to inform you that you have hysteria.”
“I-I do?” 
“Yes, I’m terribly sorry,” he laid the papers down on the desk before him, “seems like your womb is not where it’s supposed to be and that can cause all sorts of problems as you can see by your symptoms.”
Fingers weaved so tightly in the fabric in your lap it nearly broke through, ruining your dress, your panic began to bubble out, “what should I do, doctor? Is there a cure?”
“There is,” he nodded, subtly raising a hand up to soothe your nerves, “the way to relieve this disorder is by causing something called a hysterical paroxysm,” he informed, abruptly redirecting his stare down upon the woodgrain of the tabletop, “now, usually, if a woman is married, the husband is to perform the treatment, but since you’re not,” his eyes flickered back up to find yours, “I’ll help rid your body of this ailment.”
“Really? Thank you,” you gasped, “what, uh, what does it entail?”
“Oh, it’s simple enough,” he waved a casual hand, “you just rid yourself of your undergarments and lay down on the exam table for me.”
“I-…” you blinked, eyes wide before you swallowed, “…alright…”
Getting up from the chair opposing his desk, you walked around the flimsy partition set up in the corner. Reaching under your dress, you timidly pulled your underwear down your legs, past your stockings and off. Folding the garment in a neat little bundle, you settled it on the small stool that stood back here before stepping back out from behind the cover. 
Now settled at the bottom of the exam table on a seat, he gestured for you to get up onto the slab before you apprehensively did so. 
“If you would please just put your feet up in these stirrups,” he adjusted the metal legs below you, “then we can get started.” 
As you then shifted, settling your feet into place, your skirts tented and began to ride up, a gust of crisp air kissing your exposed centre and causing your cheeks to heat up.  
Hearing his chair scoot closer, you then felt his touch softly ghost from your knees all the way up your thighs till his fingers were gently prying your petals apart. After taking a good look, he then briefly retracted his touch, unscrewing a nearby dark glass jar, swiping up some of the glossy contents before grazing through your folds once more, the cool temperature of the lubrication causing you to suck in a sharp breath. 
“Sorry, if it’s a bit cold,” he murmured as he continued to smear it in. 
Head faintly shaking, “it’s fine,” you tried just to focus on your breathing. 
Pushing your dress a bit more out of the way, he told you, “just try and relax for me, it will go by a lot smoother if you relax,” his touch then suddenly changed, “now, tell me,” zeroing in and pressing down on your clit in a way that made the office around you go fuzzy, “how does that feel?” 
Blinking down at him, you found that his vision was already firm on you, “I-… I don’t know… how is it supposed to feel?”
“It’s supposed to feel good,” he rubbed a bit harder, “so, does it feel good?”
“I-I guess so,” your vision fluttered back up towards the ceiling, the doctor’s dark eyes being too much to stand, “yeah.”
“Good, good,” his attentive touch then shifted, “now let me just have a feel inside. Deep breath for me,” your lungs expanded at his command, “there you go,” and his long finger pressed inside, gently curving it around against your walls as he examined, “yep, there it is… your womb, it’s in the completely wrong spot,” he swiftly worked another digit in, watching as you stretched around his fingers, “it’s good that you came in now before it got even worse,” pulling back out, he ended the contact with an unnecessary rub against your buzzing clit.
As he then scooted a bulky and mysterious machine over, you asked nervously, “w-what is that?”
“Just a little apparatus that’s gonna help cure you,” he twisted a vaguely phallic shape into place at the end of the device’s long arm. After noticing your startled expression, you felt his warm hand sprawl across your thigh, “don’t worry, love. It’s all gonna be just fine,” lining it up, “just try and lay still,” he turned a switch and the attachment slowly drove into you. 
“Oh my god!” your palm slammed down against the exam table. 
“Shh, it’s alright,” he caught your eye till your body slowly began to give in, calming under his gaze. Reaching his right hand up, he tickled your puff as the gadget slowly eased in and out of you, “you’re doing great so far, just relax for me,” you saw his free fingers sneak down to enclose around the apparatus’s knob once more, turning the speed further up.  
Feeling like you might fall off the table entirely, you panted, “doctor, I think something might be wrong.”
“Nothing’s wrong, love,” he nearly chuckled, “this is how it’s supposed to feel,” smiling as you let go an uncontainable moan, knees nearly closing as you tumbled over the edge, “there it is, good, good…”
Expecting for the machine to be shut off, the doctor instead pushed your trembling knees aside and conjured a bulky ward-like device that buzzed in his tight grip, the other hand firm on your leg as he pressed the vibrator against your sensitive pearl, “ah! Doctor! What are you-”
“We’re not done yet,” he stated firmly, vision fixated on the mess he was turning you into. 
The squelching of your pussy cut through the loud buzzing of the gizmos, “but it’s too much, I can’t-”
“You wanna get better, don’t you?”
Fists tight in your dress, crumbled at your waist, you let out a shaky, “yes.”
“Then quit your whining and let me treat you,” his stare snapped up as he warned you, “if you keep that up then I’ll have no other choice but to restrain you, is that what you want?”
“N-no,” the overwhelming sensation caused you to tremble like a leaf. 
“Be a good girl and take it.”
When the second wave hit, it crashed into you so fiercely that you let out a lewd scream. 
“There you go, that’s it!” the doctor bellowed as your pussy gushed, crying out around the intense toys, “oh, fuck…” unable to peel his eyes away as he finally turned off the machines, additional juices squirting out as they withdrew. 
Limbs twitching, you hazily asked, “was that it? Are we done?”
Palming himself through his pants, his gaze stayed glued to your weeping core, “not quite yet, miss… that release of excess fluids was a very good sign, very good sign indeed, but we’re not quite done… there’s still more that needs to get out in order for your uterus to align itself again,” your eyes then flicked down to his fingers as they worked at the buttons on his slacks, swiftly freeing something much bigger than the apparatus he had just fucked you with. 
“Doctor?” your eyes grew as he stepped closer, rubbing his tip against you in a way that made your eyes flutter. 
Finally meeting your gaze, he uttered, “please, call me Aleksander,” before thrusting his hips forward, stretching you apart with his cock. Fingers digging into your thighs, he glanced back down and smirked, “I think your womb just needs a little reminder of where its home is,” before he slammed in, all the way, pushing the air out of your lungs as his balls nuzzled against you.
“Ah!”
“Just need to knock at its door a bit to call it home,” the tip of his generous length kissed your cervix with every rough thrust, borderline going too deep as you clambered around him, “that’s it, taking the treatment so well.”
Just as you had thought he had settled on a rhythm, he pulled the rug out from under you by suddenly withdrawing his girth entirely, spreading you apart so that he could watch how he made you gape, only to bury himself completely once again, repeating the cycle over and over, relishing in the way it drove you up the wall. 
“Fucking hell… I can feel it, you’re getting close, clamping around me like a desperate little whore,” he groaned, watching as after a few more breath-taking rounds, your pussy began to weep once again, “oh, there it is,” squirting out every time he retraced himself, “atta girl,” the fullness he then granted you only persuaded more to appear. 
When you were nothing more than a literal puddle in his grasp, Aleksander truly lost control, pounding into your trembling mess before he made it even more so, stuffing you full of his hot cum. 
Low groans still flowed from his lips as he retracted from you for good, the sensation of his seed trickling out of you and onto the exam table nearly going unnoticed from how exhausted the treatment had made you. 
“Was that it?” you asked weakly, “am I cured now?”
Tugging himself away as he caught his breath, he answered, “not completely,” glancing back up at you with a glint in his dark eyes, “I think you’re gonna have to come back a few more times …”
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