d-eard-iary

[d-eard-iary]

20-03-2021

Hi,

how is everything going on world!

i really dont know i am depressed? but i  know that i am confused ? yes

and sure way i am looking for job  & money and a job which can lead to me a proper direction.

so for that i am doing some progress in my mind but I don't think I really am doing anything good enough.

But talking to friends make me think more. & get confused more.

i am looking a way where i can study , get job, learn , earn money & get settled in out of India that is what i want for the situation.

i am learning salesforce admin, but not sure about getting a job into it.

I have experience in support talking with people & clearing all there doubts.

that is the only thing i really know right now?

i guess i know more than that of support.

i know some good tech such html, css, c, c++ but not in clear i know how to develop a website. i know how to takle client.

i but i think i lack in a communication skills where i find it while talking to a HR person or on a call where my words do really matters & i fucked it up all the way.

i always looking to find a job which can promote me to a new role & responsibilities. 

but my current job has nothing rather than call client give application support .

Most of the time i really do think about all the stuff everyday but god i dont know where i lack most. every time i learn something i get confused. but in a such way that i choose to let go that learning & choose to learn new thing.

fuck me.

So now what?

tomorrow is my hackerank interview but i know fucking nothing about the coding part & i am going to definitely lack at it. and interesting new is that i am doing nothing about it. not learning anything not looking to any book nothing at all.

just looking at another salesforce lesson, trading, Facebook, web series. 

i really do hate myself mostly i guess!

i say every time that i can start now. i am going to tough. i am going to continue it. i am not going to let anything across my path. but BAMMM.

i get call/ message/ social media which fuking say that “hey your friend got a job in this”, “hey he is earning good” “ hey hes got a car” hey he is going to america” 

ohhhhh noo. 

these seems that my dreams are some other grabbing it so easily.

& i can’t do anything about it other than thinking about how should i get it other than thinking about what are the steps should i follow to get it.

oh i really lack at something.