d1rtyval3nt1ne

[d1rtyval3nt1ne]

Beagle Ashtray

I held you like the embers between my fist,

a fleeting sanctuary dissipating in puffs of muffled air.

Persisting, the unbalanced tube in my hand will be kissed,

and my cells join together to witness your departure

and I’ll use the ash to paint you as the artist.

I don’t miss you and I try not to think about it.

I don’t miss how you made me feel.

what I’ve been yearning for, to taste the spit of blood that is the sincere in it’s familiarity

it’s familiarity of someone I love

It’s familiarity of the way you’d love

it’s familiarity of family

I can’t love without that punch in the gut

I haven’t loved since you’ve been gone

Don’t return

I fear that I know I would welcome you back with my hands held up high.

[d1rtyval3nt1ne]

Military State

I know you were there because I didn't want to wake up Pulled away and thrown into a dark, chain-locked wardrobe and someone drew the curtains The setting clouds like fantastic weaponry on top of mountains I lost my head from what was in my cup When I woke from a restless sleep I remembered dull, starchy Idaho. Dull, starchy Idaho just how you remembered it. but the beauty of the midnight sky where we settled for the night -- the stars , the vastness, the isolation, tell me it was not lost on you. Dull, moonlit, starchy, silent, starry Idaho where we were nothing but skin and bones and a coconut cream pie that was not very good, and that we both knew but we split it without a single complaint I want to be lost in your maze like a lab rat running eagerly from a mutant beast that has yet to be slain test me and observe take notes on how I love and maybe someday you can have that for yourself