d3monicas

[d3monicas]

updated art product catalog for my booths this year

[d3monicas]

thoughts on dancing as resistance + photos taken on my digital camera

(that’s me in red!)

[d3monicas]

thoughts on dancing as resistance + photos taken on my digital camera

(that’s me in red!)

[d3monicas]

"trap house because you cant leave"

your art is powerful but this sentence, I started sobbing lowkey ... because its true both mentally and physically

tw for my bad drug experience

i remember near the height of my addiction, once my friend brought me to this party and was so gone i couldnt get him to come to his senses for days, and it was in another town, i literally couldnt leave this house full of people tripping, being crazy, breaking things, breaking each other, while i myself was tripping.. its wat made me want to stop, it was like being trapped in literal hell where everyones most disgusting sides came out...

beautiful art, i hope your recovery goes well.. im still hanging on to cigs haha...

your experience is shared among many people, myself included. it really feels like you’re trapped there forever. i sometimes have nightmares about still being in there.

wishing you well in your recovery! happy u can still enjoy cigs haha

[d3monicas]

it's called a trap house cause you can't leave

artist statement below:

i'm challenging myself to draw art that's more personal to me. addiction is a struggle i face. a particularly bad bender caused me to have a near death experience, in which i legitimately thought i was going to die and saw the grim reaper waiting to take me. that was enough to scare me sober. i've been clean for some time now. for a while, addiction has robbed me of my creativity. the time i used to spend drawing was spent on parties and doing substances. but i'm ready to let that pain go, and let it coexist with my art.

i wanted to capture the feeling of being stuck in a trap house. i’ve been stuck there for 10-20 hours, felt like 10,000 years. i wouldn’t even remember what day it was. it’s like alice falling into wonderland and chasing the white rabbit forever. that’s how i felt

[d3monicas]

Hi D3mo, I wanted to thank you for doing such a personal piece on addiction. Don't think people realize sometimes just how hard it can become unless you're in it, lived it or been around it/exposed to it. (I hope I'm phrasing this right) For me, I struggled with drinking for a long time to cover up pain. At the time I would go to bed drinking and wake up drinking- all day drinking. I didn't think I had anything left at the time. It landed me in the hospital affecting my liver, nearly ended me- I laid off drinking for awhile but went back to it eventually. Later on I picked up smoking. One night I got a bad trip and I ended up at the hospital, I didn't think I was going to make it honestly. I ended up quitting after that. Been several years sober now. I'm happy to hear you're sober now as well- though you may struggle from time to time I think that's very natural, never give up!. Sending all the love xG

after you’ve quit your main addiction, they don’t prepare you for all the other addictions you’ll cling onto. you quit drugs and then there’s drinking, smoking, everything else. it’s like that when you have an addictive personality. best thing you can do is get addicted to healthy things!

other than the substance abuse i also struggled with smoking for several years. and just like you, it got so bad that i coughed up blood and contracted respiratory infections.

i’m sorry to hear your struggles but happy that you have been several years sober. it’s an amazing feat to be proud of

[d3monicas]

Hi, I saw your art (beautiful btw) on addiction and I was wondering if you felt like talking about it a bit (just as much as you're comfortable ofc). I'm not an addict, neither have ever been, however this January I tried a substance once and it left me so fogged and absent minded for months to the point that I still wonder how is it possible and it instilled a hypocondria-induced panic of having fucked up my mind forever.

this is something that I'm working on, to dismantle this hyper rational comprehension of myself and giving space to other world-sense making ways that don't conceive myself as simply an intellectual self.

now, hearing people that have lived similar experiences or drug-related ones is so comforting, and reading about the same emotions that led me to assume this substance makes me feel less alienated in this process.

whether you feel like chatting a bit about this topic or not, thank you for narrating it through your art and sharing it with us - it's comforting to see the same struggle lived by others, and heart warming to know you got out of it :)

i have heard of people having permatrips (i.e. permanent trips = lasting weeks, months) due to taking certain substances just a few times. the most common culprit being psychedelics like acid, lsd or even just weed.

i’ve heard preexisting mental conditions like schizophrenia or adhd can make you more susceptible to permatrips.

since you didn’t mention the substance, it’s harder for me to understand your experience. but i can relate to you in the fact that my brain has never been the same since addiction. it is way harder for me to feel happy on a daily basis, since my serotonin receptors are fried to dust. although i’m sober i’ve fallen into depression. i have to work 10x harder than the average person to feel happy. i also had to distance myself from my social circle because most of my friends like partying, and being in that environment regularly gives me urges to relapse. i try to fill up my time with hobbies, art, and friends. i still relapse from time to time, but i try not to beat myself up for it. i accepted i will stumble but overall, i think i’m making an upwards trajectory.

i hope you find peace in your journey. honestly, having hypochondria is a good deterrent to relapsing. i’ve found that big scares are usually the best thing that can happen for you to actually stop.

[d3monicas]

it's called a trap house cause you can't leave

artist statement below:

i'm challenging myself to draw art that's more personal to me. addiction is a struggle i face. a particularly bad bender caused me to have a near death experience, in which i legitimately thought i was going to die and saw the grim reaper waiting to take me. that was enough to scare me sober. i've been clean for some time now. for a while, addiction has robbed me of my creativity. the time i used to spend drawing was spent on parties and doing substances. but i'm ready to let that pain go, and let it coexist with my art.

[d3monicas]

WIP

[d3monicas]

monster tea party 🫖🫀

[d3monicas]

how i made nana bookmarks 🔖🍓

[d3monicas]

hiii i know comms are closed but pls know i would pay one million dollars for more tsh art, feel free to respond to this whenever u want and i will come and pay my dues hehe! 🙇‍♀️ have a lovely day!

dm me!

[d3monicas]

Omggg that animal print coat you’re wearing it’s gorgeous where it’s from? 😭

i thrifted it! i think its pretty easy to find in local thrifts

[d3monicas]

stuff from my closet. if u care

[d3monicas]

welcome to mima’s room! 🖥️ (sound on)

[d3monicas]

welcome to mima’s room! 🖥️ (sound on)

[d3monicas]

collection of my achilles art