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If i may ask, why has your kid had a lawyer since birth?

Honestly, because I had unprotected sex with one

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If tomorrow I won the lottery or some elderly billionare relative died and left me their fortune and I had a massive pile of cash, I would immediately buy a lot someplace more habitable and then build a next level Art Nouveau castle.

I see billionaire mansions or luxury houses and they're all so fucking boring. What's even the point. You have all this money and everything is white and looks like a dentist's office waiting room? The fuck is wrong with you. Install a two story stained glass window. Live a little.

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was talking to a coworker and realised i could not for the life of me remember his name but i was too embarrassed to ask because we've spoken multiple times so mid-conversation i started concocting a plan to nudge the conversation towards the ID photos on our building passes so that i could be like oh my ID photo is awful haha the camera they use to take these has a real talent for making me look as unphotogenic as possible and then he would say oh yes me too haha everyone says that (because they do) and then i would be able to say well let me see yours it can't be as bad as mine! and he would show me his ID because we are coworkers and why wouldn't he and this would allow me to see his building pass which of course would have his name on it and then i would be able to say well yours is perfectly nice it must be me that's the problem! and then we would have a polite chuckle about it and i would have his name without needing to ask for it and he would be none the wiser and all would be well but then before i could execute this fine plan a little voice in my head went "so this is some light yagami bull shit you are about to pull" which was such a violent reality check it shocked me completely out of my embarrassment and i went "hey im so sorry your name has slipped my mind could you remind me" and he did and it was fine.

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nuke deniers? that's baby shit compared to the guy who believes nukes are real but cant explode because god would prevent them from going off if used

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Don’t you think you’ve ruined the whole game with Universes Beyond? There are a lot of people who want to play UB, and also many who don’t. Have you thought about how to separate them?

Magic has always been a game where we make a huge swath of cards and the players get to choose which ones they get to play with. Not everyone is going to like every card. That was true long before Universes Beyond.

For example, there are players that really dislike horror and are uncomfortable with some of the images on cards. Others don’t like cards they see as too light in tone. Others, just aren’t fond of particular settings/sets.

Having tens of thousands of game pieces to choose from is a huge advantage of Magic, but that means there will be things any one player won’t like. They can choose not to play with them. And if it really bothers them, they can choose not to play with others who play with them, but that’s something handled at the local level, not the game design level.

I get that the issue that matters to you seems the most important, but everyone feels that way, and I know there are things others would remove from the game that you love.

So no, I don’t believe Universes Beyond ruins the game. We have gone through the exercise of how we could separate them, but after looking through all the data, it’s not something the majority of players want.

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the supreme irony of orson scorson corson's virulent transmisogyny is that ender from enders game is like one of the most chillingly and accurately transmisogynized characters in all of science fiction

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Happy Pride everyone, today is the tenth anniversary of the nationwide right to gay Marriage in the United States and the 22nd anniversary of nationwide legalization of Gay Sex. In 2 days is the 56th anniversary of the Stonewall Uprising.

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STOP CENSORING SUBTITLES/TRANSCRIPTS/CLOSED CAPTIONS

LET DEAF AND NEURODIVERGENT PEOPLE READ “FUCK”

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if i were to die tomorrow from food poisoning or pneumonia or some shit the headlines would say "Fat Activist Dead At 31" and my death would be another arrow in the quiver of fatphobes so they can spread the lie that being fat is inherently deadly while rejoicing that we are dead

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BASED BASED BASED BASED BASED BASED BASED BASED BASED BASED BASED BASED BASED BASED BASED BASED BASED BASED BASED BASED BASED BASED BASED BASED BASED BASED BASED BASED BASED BASED BASED BASED BASED BASED BASED BASED BASED BASED BASED BASED BASED BASED

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Ok ok ok ok I know you said you're exhausted of MtG becoming the Fortnite of tcgs BUT have you seen the FF one? It's really good.

No, yeah, it *has* to be good. Because they have to charge more money to pay licensing fees, they have to continually bump up the power levels in order to sell you those more expensive packs.

And it’s working. FF is flying off the shelves.

I’m just not the person buying it.

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jokes to make after failure that aren’t self-deprecating:

I’m the best to ever do it

Nobody saw that (best if said loudly)

No one’s ever done it like me

I could be President/they should make me President

Behold, a mere fraction of my power!

The public wants to be me soooooo bad

I’m an expert in (thing you just failed at)

How could this have happened to god’s favorite princess?

Nothing ibuprofen and a glass of water cant fix

I’m being sabotaged

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There’s certain hobbies and interests that aren’t inherently conservative or regressive but do attract a lot of people who are those things or worse and when you’re a progressive person involved in those hobbies hearing that someone else is interested in your hobby usually has to involve some “But are you normal about it?” conversations before you get too excited

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met a woman today whose original real actual given-at-birth first name is "Vendetta." ma'am are you aware you are a videogame protagonist and/or a character in a skullduggery pleasant novel. real quick sorry to bother you miss but who exactly were your parents expecting you to avenge in their name

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