dairymistress05

[dairymistress05]

Hey 👋, how are you doing?

I’m fine just been busy. My Mom passed in May and with 3 kids and a Dairy Farmer husband life is moving along.

[dairymistress05]

Seeing all the ridiculous Benophie vs Polin discourse out there right now has been frustrating but this fic was such a beautiful refreshing read. An AU but such a wonderful fusion of both couples stories.

Honestly, in all of the fanfics that I have recently read, this one might be my favourite so far and I have read too many to count in the last month or so.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/56058757

Colin receives a letter from Eloise with devastating news while on his travels. Penelope has died, his world is shattered and he realizes his love for her but it’s too late.

When he returns home to this devastating new reality, he and his brothers discover that what they have been told is a lie, that Portia has done something much worse to her.

Colin upon discovery Pen might be alive races to find her, confess his love for her and what a fool he has been.

Spoiler…

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The way Colin loves her in this story is so beautiful. The patience and steadfastness of his love and support made me cry. I just can’t say enough good things about this story. 🥹 It was almost perfect. 💕

Also, there is very minimal Pity Party Penelope in this story which is one of my pet peeves if others, like sure, question his intentions and his feelings a bit but not constantly. So many stories where a Pen is sooo hung up on Colin never wanting her that she continually dismisses and stomps on his feelings and it’s exhausting.

[dairymistress05]

Reading Lots of Colin and Penelope FanFiction and one of my biggest takeaways is that I cannot stand when a writer seems to lean so hard into the pity party character trait.

Penelope being shown Colin’s love in every way imaginable and Still “he will never love me” being her internal voice. And then because of it she basically stomps on his heart when he bares his soul, declares himself and proposes because she just can’t believe it.

And that she continues to ‘beat a dead horse’ of the words he spoke. In some of these fics is been months and even years and you can’t fathom that he might feel differently? It’s utterly ridiculous. And don’t get me started on the “he doesn’t see me as a woman BS” (he DID NOT mean it that way, he meant it so that he wouldn’t be forced to give her up also because he didn’t know why she was separate and apart from other women yet)

Like girl! Stop putting words in his mouth, stop telling him what he thinks and LISTEN!

It’s actually infuriating at times if I’m being honest.

[dairymistress05]

Yes to all of this! Especially the “telling Him how He feels rather than believing the affection He is showing you. Like Pen, girl?! You don’t like to be told what to do or what to feel but you can just keep dismissing His feelings? Give it a rest!

My Fan Fic Pet Peeves

I'm starting to collect them like Pokemon Cards! These are just my own personal feelings. No offense meant, but daaaaaaaaammmmn!

Pen telling Colin how he feels instead of allowing him to tell her his feelings - this is seriously becoming my number one annoyance. I don't even find this attractive on humans in real life, but its so annoying for Pen. Show Pen literally said But Colin we are friends....and then BOOM fingerfucking. Like she did not take much to believe this man.

The word entrapment - give it a rest already

People acting like your crush not returning feelings they dont know about is somehow a mortal sin - If this was the case, I have so many crushes from high school who owe me their mortal lives or something

Colin running away at the first sign of catching feelings - Guys...he wasn't a runner. He planned his tours. They weren't to run away from his problems. He went to find himself. Can more people gatekeep this, please and thank you. In the show, he realizes he has feelings and literally causes chaos to chase down Pen. Like....hello.

Pen running away as soon as there is any feelings or things happening - OMG this is becoming an ugly trend and I just don't see this as a Pen trait, she's more of an I'm going to punch you in the face type to me. In the show, Colin says he has feelings for her and she takes a beat to say lets make out basically!

Pen being a selfish bitch - I get it, some of you hate Pen or LW or whatever, but I've never seen her as a selfish bitch. Gatekeeping help again!

Colin being a prick - same comment as above. Stans make me tired. Pen loves Colin because he is kind and charming........Where is this man????

I get it fan fiction is fun and not always based on the show or book. Some of it is fanon, and that's cool if its posted that way but damn, some of it is out here saying its based on the show or book version of the ship or characters and I guess I'm just trying to figure out what show you out here watching or if some of it is actually written as fans of either character or the ship because it seems like some of you dont like them at all?

[dairymistress05]

I have seen so many interviews/posts that ask about Luke Newtons glow up and if I’m being honest those questions and comments make me uncomfortable. It’s almost like the comments about Nicola being “brave” to show her body or any of those speaking of “mixed weight” couples. Honestly, I have often felt like he has gotten uncomfortable when asked such things in interviews.

It’s just so unfortunate. It is sad that while all of this success of the show that people actually compare previous versions of himself or the other brothers.

Nicola has said ALL along that Luke didn’t need it. I wholeheartedly agree! He has always looked great. He has always been adorable as Colin and embodies the character perfectly.

Luke Newton has done an excellent job and continues to do so.

Why does the conversation have to be about something so superficial?

He. 👏🏻 Didn’t. 👏🏻 Need. 👏🏻 A. 👏🏻 Glow. 👏🏻 Up. 👏🏻

Anyways, rant over.

[dairymistress05]

Her being completely overwhelmed and basically terrified because all eyes were on her at this and he just meets her gaze and nods. I just loved it! There is so much that was communicated and such love in that unspoken moment. Wow.

[dairymistress05]

Sometimes I love the internet!!!

If not for the online recording, I would never have been able to watch Luke Newton in The Shape of Things.

He was amazing! He has such talent!

I was actually blown away. Such a poignant, thought provoking piece and the characters were amazing. Luke as Adam however, was spectacular. He nailed it.

For the first 3/4 of the play I couldn’t figure out why I didn’t like Evelyn at all and then the final scene came. She started her speech and I was like “oh there it is, you’ve got to be joking! No!”

Ahhhh sooo good!

Just Wow!

[dairymistress05]

Yes, his speech made me cry. I loved that he made it about Violet and the legacy in her children. 🥹💕

I honestly love how John took time at his wedding to acknowledge Violet.

Like do you know how hard it must of been to raise all those kids by herself in her grief.

Yes Anthony stepped up and had a hand in raising his siblings but Violet of course was the main one.

So John acknowledging that he sees her in every one of her children is something I'm sure she needed to hear.

Bravo John. Welcome to the family

[dairymistress05]

🤣 I’m dying

Colin: I know you think my judgement’s clouded because I like Penelope a little bit.

Anthony: You doodled your wedding invitation.

Colin: No, that’s our joint tombstone.

Anthony: My mistake.

[dairymistress05]

It’s too bad cause I think the other stories kind of came to a close, but I would love to see these three husbands just like living their lives ad devoted “wife guys” 🥹🥰

The three Featherington girls dancing with their husbands.

[dairymistress05]

I just love it so much! 🥹💕

The more I rewatch the season, the further I fall for Colin and realize just how much he loves Pen. Because even in his moments of severity and sternness, there is so much softness there.

“I want very much to do those things.”

At first, I was so appalled by the stubbornness in this scene. Like dude, just give in. But what, at first, seemed like such a quiet, throwaway line, now teems with so much give, so much generosity.

He’s saying: “Being distant from you is not easy for me. I am not withholding my affections on purpose; I am not doing this out of spite or to hurt you, nor because I do not desire you anymore.”

It’s such a simple line and yet it answers so many of Pen’s questions. It’s honest, but also loving, and more than that, gives her assurance that their marriage will warm again, somehow.

“And what is it that restrains you?” // “I do not know.”

Again, it just seems willfully stubborn, but really, it’s extremely humble and vulnerable of him to admit. In this moment, he doesn’t understand either — doesn’t understand his anger or jealousy or feeling of helplessness — but he admits it, instead of pretending his distance boils down solely to her secret. In a way, for the first time, he’s taking responsibility for his hurts and emotions instead of foisting it onto Whistledown. And, for a man who is already grappling with his worth and trying so hard to find his footing with a strong and truly independent wife, how lovely and brave of him to confess to her especially, that he is lost. That he maybe, a little bit, does need her help to figure this out,

He also does it multiple times: “Then what good am I to you?” // “Then how am I meant to help you?”

He’s asking her for what he needs from her, and she’s answering, because they both love each other and want this marriage. He’s just a human who needs a little bit of time to really hear it.

Ugh, I love them.

[dairymistress05]

Another long one…

🎶 I feel like the frame, that gets to hold The Mona Lisa and I don’t care if that’s all I ever do! 🎶

- The Mona Lisa by Brad Paisley

Colin’s final love declaration reminds me so much of this song and I just loved this for him, for them, and for his character. He has spent so long trying to be the Hero, trying to fit himself into the place/purpose he thinks he needs and he finally has his “Frame for the Mona Lisa” moment.

It is now that he realises that he loves her as a whole and not despite LW. He has ALWAYS loved Penelope (I can’t point to this throughout) but he spent much of the second half of this season trying to reconcile Pen and LW as separate. Not only are they one and the same, but he loves both.

This declaration of love is not just for Pen but for himself. He has Finally come to love her the way she was asking to be loved and how she loved him all along, every part. 💕 He finally understands that he does not need to be useful or to “fill a role” to be loved, he just needs to be. This season was just so special in so many ways and this is one of my favourites. 🥰

Watching this, I was actually reminded of this moment in the Queens garden in Season 2 when they were speaking about finding one’s purpose.

Penelope: I am certain you’ll find your purpose one day. Everyone must eventually.

Colin: Have you found yours?

Penelope: Of course not. But I imagine it to be something very animated and satisfying. The type of adventure that speaks not to who I am but, rather who I am to be. My purpose will challenge me to brave and witty. My purpose will propel me far beyond the watchful glare of my Mama. My purpose shall set me free!

Colin: What could possibly measure up to all that? Your dreams are grander than you let on, Pen.

Penelope: Yes, they are mere fantasies but, I do believe we must allow ourselves those private moments so that we may face reality armed with our reveries.

It’s actually quite poetic that he found his purpose with her and in doing so he “lived up to” her expectations but also that her purpose was exactly as she had described it, it challenged her, set her free and he was right there by her side through it all.It’s actually quite poetic that he found is purpose in her and he “lived up to” her expectations but also that her purpose challenged her in the ways she mentioned and he was right there by her side through it all.

I just love the storytelling of this show! 🥹

[dairymistress05]

Yes! Thank you! ALL of this!

The way people are so severely missing the point of what Colin was saying to Cressida in ep8 is hurting my head.

I keep seeing people on instagram talking about how Cressida was right to raise the blackmail amount because Colin was being a privileged shit asking for her to feel bad for him because he was lonely traveling. As if Colin didn't, right there in the conversation, acknowledge that his ability as a man to travel was a privilege and that he was not there for her sympathy.

His point was that he understood how the type of loneliness that comes from feeling like nobody cares about you can make you want to change, to make you want to harden yourself into a person who doesn't need anyone or anything, because it will hurt less. He knows because that's what he did. But he also knows now that that was a mistake.

He's not asking her to feel bad that he felt lonely abroad, he's acknowledging that she's lonely, and that she may feel like people don't care about her (he even acknowledges the cruelty she has probably felt from the ton), but is trying to warn her that it's a mistake to harden herself into a person that doesn't care for anyone but herself. That it won't actually make her feel better in the end.

His actual mistake in that conversation is assuming that Cressida is acting the way she is because she feels like nobody cares about her, and not because actually nobody cares about her. He assumes that she will have her family's support, and doesn't consider that her family is so uncaring that they're the ones driving her to act like this. The Bridgertons, in general, have that issue every season, because they can't see that the people around them don't have the luck they do when it comes to family.

Colin did make the situation worse, but it's not because he thinks he's somehow worse off than Cressida is and deserves sympathy for feeling lonely. It's because he can't fathom a world where your own family can be so cruel to you.

[dairymistress05]

Gregory: What’s wrong with Francesca? She’s been laying on the floor for 30 minutes.

Hyacinth: She’s a little overwhelmed right now.

Gregory: Why?

Hyacinth: John smiled at her.

[dairymistress05]

Exactly! Like it was almost as if we were watching “their first time”. It was easy to forget they are actors playing a part because it was so genuine, tender, raw and authentic. The way he asks for consent is so beautiful. As someone who was married 2 weeks shy of my 20th birthday and experienced our first time, the mirror scene was pretty accurate to those nerves and that connection. 🥰

Personally I loved their portrayal but I also don’t love enemies to lovers.

The absolute brain rot enemies-to-lovers causes needs to be studied because people are now so far gone that they believe that Colin and Penelope’s first time was 'not intimate', 'not passionate' and 'not spicy enough' compared to for example Daphne and Simon. Or that Polin in general are more tame when it comes to sex, just because we didn't get a 15 minute montage of them going at it on the fucking staircase... and that that makes them less in love...

I'm so sorry for you if you think the mirror scene was awkward or weird just because everything was going slow and there were a few funny moments... because in reality, the mirror scene is they ideal type of first time, for anyone involved. The fact Colin didn’t just take advantage of Penelope and hurried everything up because they were enaged but wanted to take it slow and do everything himself because he knew it was her first time.. actually priceless (not the funny way, but in a way that it is genuinely so hard to find such men and such characters these days).

And I'm sorry if you feel that slow, "vanilla" sex scenes are boring and that they make the couple boring because they are actually the most romantic ones. And if you believe that the peak of romance is just basic fucking that's over in one minute and has no emotional connection... well, get help 🤷‍♀️

Because the mirror scene IS peak romance and I will die on that hill.

[dairymistress05]

Still just loving them so much! My favourite Bridgertons 🥰 Also, these are fun to make.

[dairymistress05]

These incorrect quotes are just 😆

Colin: I know I’ve been talking about Penelope all morning, but another thing I love about Penelope is that she just gets me.

Eloise: Can she come get you right now?