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daisychains-and-laughs · 3 years ago

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The Humble Quest of Life and Death

I loved Maren's voice the first time I heard The Middle. Her vocals are… impeccable? That song took over pop radio and was stuck in everyone's heads. Including my good friend, Molly. At the time of me starting to write whatever this becomes, it's almost the one year anniversary of her passing. I miss her every single day. It's so cruel that she left us so soon. I thought I had a lifetime of singing The Middle at the top of our lungs with her. I thought I would get to do that with her at friends' weddings and my own some day. In every car ride because she was extra. I thought I had a lifetime of Maren Morris concerts, karaoke nights, laughter, and joyful experiences with this incredible human.

I guess I really started listening to Maren's music because of Rachael and Molly. Rachael is one of my best friends. We met the first night freshman year of college and we've been bonded ever since. Molly was one of Rachael's best friends from her hometown and Rachael introduced us. We were instantly besties. Molly has such a welcoming and warm energy but is also so funny. She made me laugh so hard over the dumbest shit. I wanted her to think I was cool and funny, too. And she did! Like, sorry if she didn't like you, you probably suck. Sike. Anyway.

I still have pieces of her. Little pieces of confetti shaped like witches that she sent in an envelope of instructions and ingredients for our Goth Dinner that took place over Zoom for Halloween. She hired her friend to do tarot readings for each of us, which is such a lovely and thoughtful thing to do for someone. She planned our menu and we made everything together over Zoom. She was an expert planner and she wore that as a badge of honor for her friends. Just one of the hundreds of things we love about her. The reasons why we miss her every single day and a part of our world is missing.

She was such an incredible human, I don't even know how to begin to explain who Molly was. She was an artist. A filmmaker. An attentive and loving daughter. She loved every cat she ever met. Outspoken against hatred and injustice. A musician, but she would never brag. I didn't know she even played piano until shortly before she passed when I saw a video of her playing. When I messaged her and was like, ummm bitch I didn't know you even played piano, period, she was like, oh yeah I took lessons when I was younger, I'm not very good tho. But she was incredible. She loved playing guitar and ukulele too and was a decent singer, but again she was so humble about it. I have ten years of memories with her and it's really hard to concisely convey just how special she was. The only way I can rationalize her passing so young is that the world wasn't ready for her.

I could go on. Maybe I'll continue down that road someday. Speaking of roads, HUMBLE QUEST!

I wasn't expecting to fall in love with this album as quickly as I did. It has such a mellow vibe. Each song does express some aspect of this humble quest called life, in a pandemic and in general, and the lessons we learn along the way. I want to explore some of my favorite themes, lyrics, and sentiments from this record. I'm a huge fan of Maren anyway and this record just made me love her even more. It feels like she writes music specifically for my taste. Country, with a twinge of rock, good storytelling, interesting melodies, and a variety of subject matter being covered.

As you can probably tell from the title of the album, Humble Quest, is a journey. It's the perfect "background music" for a chill gathering with friends, sipping wine or getting lost on back roads with your favorite person. In fact, this album is the perfect soundtrack to a road trip.

Circles Around This Town

This song would've been on repeat when I was a young kid listening to country music all the time and watching CMT all afternoon. The scenes she describes would have made it one of my favorite songs, period. It's perfect for opening the album. There's more storytelling on this record than I feel Maren has done in the past. And this song is literally her telling her story of how she got to where she is now. Busting her ass, writing songs, getting rejected over and over again. That kind of struggle changes you.

Some favorite lyrics:

Trying to say something with meaning, something worth singing about

I think that's all any writer wants. Is to say something with meaning, to leave behind something that could still carry meaning in a hundred years. Maren talks about this later on the song Humble Quest.

I've been kind and I've been ruthless

I think any woman can relate to this line. We try to be kind and polite. People take advantage of that and come to expect that polite response. When we finally speak up for ourselves, we're vicious. Bitches. Ruthless. When we're speaking our truth. Maren references this again in Humble Quest but also has previously written about it in another song, Flavor, "I speak my peace, don't do what I'm told; Shut up and sing? Well, hell no, I won't." She's always said exactly how she felt about current events or issues. Add it to the list of reasons we love her.

Thought when I'd hit it, it'd all look different, but I still got the pedal down

There's an expectation of how success (however you define it) will look or feel like once you "achieve" it. Objectively, Maren is famous. She's had multiple songs do really well on the Billboard charts. She has many country music awards. That's commercial success. But the fact that she's still searching for meaning, still writing, still trying to answer the big questions, spread joy with her music, makes her a true artist. It's not about the money or awards, it's about making art.

The Furthest Thing

This song was written about Maren and her husband, Ryan, both touring and being apart from each other for weeks at a time. But it can apply to any long-distance relationship.

The hook:

'Cause you're the furthest thing

But damn do we still fit so perfectly

Despite the distance, they still work. Being able to see each other soon gets them through the lonely nights in hotel rooms.

Distance makes the heart grow stranger

When the stars go out of view

Something in the universe pulls me back to you

That they're destined for one another, it's fate. Distance is nothing when you're connected the way they are to one another.

I Can't Love You Anymore

OK I don't give a fuck, this song is THE VIBE. This is a COUNTRY song. A classic chord progression, naturally pleasing to the ear. And it's an adorable love song.

Favorite lyrics:

To deserve you, don't know what the hell I did

I regularly have this thought about my partner, but no one wants to hear about me being in a happy healthy relationship.

You lighten up my heavy

You're so good lookin' it kinda makes me sick

This is embarrassing, but I heard the lyric as "makes me sad," and that's everything you need to know about me as a person. I really love the idea of your person lightening your load. That's the ideal, isn't it? They make the hard days easier. Life is hard, in general and day-to-day. As a person with depression, that's extremely true. I need a partner who will make the times that are especially difficult even just a little easier.

Humble Quest

Of course, the title track has a similar vibe to the rest of the record. It tells the story of Maren's journey for meaning, and continuing even when things are hard.

Some favorite lyrics:

Haven't looked up in a while

Been bitin' my tongue behind a smile

I've definitely had phases in my life where I laid low in every way I could manage. Go to work, do the bare minimum, tolerating certain people's presence in your life, not making waves, not stirring shit. Living passively, just making it through the day, the week, the month, to the next mile marker.

I was so nice 'til I woke up

I was polite 'til I spoke up

How quickly others' perception of us changes when we speak our minds and realize when we've been taken advantage of or wronged. When the little things over time gnaw at you, down to the bone. You don't notice it as it's happening, but bit by bit, the injustices, the microaggressions, the tiniest touch of attitude from a coworker eats away at you until you look around and realize, hey this shit is fucked up. But then when you say something, all of a sudden, you're the problem. You're the aggressor. Why can't you just keep your head down and let us keep exploiting you?

Standin' up was enough of a battle

How do I not cast a shadow?

I'm a hell of a hassle

Standing up for the right thing is incredibly hard. Again, people think you're difficult. You're making waves. It takes incredible strength to speak your truth. It's even harder when you don't see any payoff, no evidence that you standing up even impacted anyone. Except now, people's perception of you is completely changed.

Background Music

I think this is easily one of the best songs I've heard in a long time. It's a very different perspective on love and forever. Maren wrote this song for her husband, who is also a songwriter and country artist. It is a love song, definitely, but I think it's a really beautiful way to say that our story and impact will live on after we're gone. This album was written during a pandemic, it grapples with mortality and legacy. It's difficult to put into words the impact a person has until they're actually gone. Even more so, the potential they had to create an even bigger impact. Energy that is now lost to the universe. I think we all had to come to grips with the fact that we are going to die some day and that day may come sooner than we think. So again, we're enjoying the moment, enjoying the ride, while it's still here. While we're still here.

If that's you and me when it's all said and done

Hard not to see we're the lucky ones

Not everybody gets to leave a souvenir

But it is a beautiful love song, even though it's a little dark. Maren is pledging to her husband to love him "'til all that we are, is background music." A hundred years from now, the average person might not know who Maren Morris or Ryan Hurd are. But maybe their songs will still play on an old jukebox in a bar. Or on the radio in a car. That they get to leave their story behind for future generations. And their love will continue long after they're gone.

Nervous

I love when Maren writes about sex or writes horny songs. Songs like RSVP, Make Out With Me, and Shade. Her voice is perfect for it, smooth, passionate. This is one I love screaming in traffic on I-76. Even though I still don't know all the words. The melody is extremely catchy, even on the verses. This is going to be a really fun one on tour.

It's now after reading the lyrics, I'm realizing how sexy this song really is. I love it even more. Women should get to sing about sex just as much as men. I'd like to only hear women sing about sex from now on, actually.

Tracing my body like you're learning cursive, researching

Just how high your touch can take a person

Like….. I'm blushing. But I love it.

Tall Guys

I get it. Maren is a small woman, of course she likes a tall man. There's a lot of advantages to that. I don't really relate to this one, but that doesn't mean it isn't a well-written song. And it definitely doesn't mean that it doesn't get stuck in my head. It's still sticking with the theme of songs to sing along to while driving back roads.

Detour

This is my favorite song on the record. It's perfect for driving on a sunny day with the windows down. I feel like that has to be the most fun kind of song to write, but I'm not a songwriter.

I was looking through the lyrics to pick my favorites and realized the entire song has perfect lyrics. They're all my favorite. I even put "I don't mind a detour" on my little letterboard in my apartment. I'll try to summarize.

We all start out just going somewhere, whether it's college, immediately getting a job, trade school, etc. We don't always know where we want to get to, sometimes we do and have it all mapped out in our heads. But life steps in and throws us off course. Roads are closed.

Things may be objectively good right now, but you still might not be "happy." The reality doesn't measure up to your expectations. You're disappointed. You start over and stumble down a path.

It's okay to take your time, enjoy the ride. All the bad shit is worth experiencing if it means spending the rest of your life with your person.

There's no wrong way to get where you're going as long as you arrive.

Maren's using the metaphor of taking a detour down winding roads, not knowing the way, to finding the love of her life. It's all good, as long as I'm with you.

Hummingbird

This is the only song with a feature on this album and it's a very special one - Maren and Ryan's two year old son, Hayes. I think in an interview she said she wrote it when she found out she was pregnant. I think this one speaks for itself, I don't know if I could ever explain it better than she wrote and sang it.

Good Friends

There are not enough songs about friendship. Why is that not a relationship that gets written about the way romantic ones do? I can guarantee you my best friends know shit about me no romantic partner ever will. There's too much history there to even explain.

My favorite lyrics:

And if we live to a hundred

Or through to the next drink

I swear to God on my heart

Nobody will know you like me

No matter how long our forever is, I love you to the very end. It's a really beautiful way to express real close friendship.

Too much love

Too much dirt, too much time

Wouldn't change

Couldn't leave if we tried

After a certain amount of time, there's no looking back. All of our good, close friends have a guaranteed spot in our lives. I would love for more songwriters to write about chosen family.

What Would This World Do?

This one hurts so much. I didn't know Maren was experiencing a similar grief that we were. She lost her friend and producer during the pandemic. I'm so grateful she put it into words for us. Because the world does keep spinning, everything continues on, no one even stops, even though you lost a huge piece of yours. We didn't have time to prepare. We thought we had more time.

The second verse cut me like a dagger:

They'd still run the evening news

And the brides will walk the aisle in June

And there's strangers that won't have a clue

What would this world do without you?

I'm devastated that Molly wasn't at Aminah's wedding. And she won't be at any of our future weddings. It's not fair. She was supposed to be here for all of the big moments for all of us. She was supposed to be creating more memories with us.

And the most heartbreaking part of all: there are people who never met her and never got to experience her light. We'll never know what she might have created. We'll never know who she might have become.

I'll keep all your Polaroids hanging on display

And I'll drink all the wine you gave me on my wedding day

Don't know what I would do if your tomorrow never came

The only thing I'm sure of is that I'll never be the same

I know we all have pieces of her: the witch confetti, her vinyl records, posters, Playbills, T-shirts she bought at thrift stores. Gifts she gave us, still on display. She left an impact that's difficult to quantify. She made us better.

Oh, out of everybody, I'll only have one you

So, what would my world do without you?

The answer? Fucking shatter. I never even thought I would have to ask myself this question. The worst part is, the day to day is mostly the same. But there's a hole in our hearts. Just a little bit less laughter from her social media content. Always thinking of her when we see something ridiculous in the news that would make her laugh. We can only dream of the jokes she might make about what's happening in our world without her. I still think she's laughing with us.

As a whole, this album is the perfect vibe for spring. I've been playing it almost nonstop since it came out. The physical album is gorgeous. I bought the Target exclusive with a "bone white" vinyl because I'm basic but it's the most beautiful record I own… I can't. I encourage you to make your own memories and connections with this gorgeous album and Maren's two other records. I'm so incredibly sad that Molly won't be with us at Maren's next concert in Philly. I'm so sad that we won't get to make any more memories with her. We'll sing loudly and dance fearlessly for her. We'll continue on this Humble Quest. Searching for meaning, purpose. Loving with everything we have. Refusing to bite our tongues. Always standing up for what's right, even if it's a battle. You can do hard things, especially with good friends by your side.

#maren morris #humble quest #humble quest album #country music #grief #death #life #loss #writing #reflection

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daisychains-and-laughs · 4 years ago

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A Love Letter to Red (Taylor's Version)

Red has been my favorite Taylor Swift album for years. I liked that it wasn't quite country, but it wasn't quite pop either. It was somewhere in between. It allowed me to daydream.

Red was first released in 2012 when I was a sophomore in college and I was 19 years old. I was finally starting to heal from something painful, a reputation era, if you will. I was ready to open myself up again. I was ready to risk getting my heart broken for something real.

I wanted to experience this burning red love she sings about. Taylor and I both now know that love is not "burning red, but it's golden."

True love doesn't miss your birthday party.

True love isn't passionate fights.

True love doesn't gaslight you.

True love is respect and communication.

True love is feeling at peace with your person.

True love is feeling at home with your person.

The album isn't all break-up songs though.

22 was an anthem for me at 19 and at 22. I miss living with my very best friends. I miss making breakfast at midnight. I miss drinking white wine out of mason jars. I miss beach trips. I miss running around the city just to be out. "Happy, free, confused, and lonely in the best way."

The Lucky One has been heartbreaking since day 1, but it hits different today. Especially alongside Nothing New. I can definitely picture her label being like, "Tay, you can't be that honest. People will think you're ungrateful." But she's just accurately expressing how it is being young and in the spotlight. I also love Phoebe Bridgers so Nothing New is very high on my hypothetical list of favorites.

Ronan absolutely destroys me every single time. The lyric video is heartbreaking. It's beautifully done. I know it means a lot to Ronan's mom, too.

That said, back to the romantic songs.

Girl At Home as a pop track?! Obsessed. I can definitely see her label back then holding back the vault tracks that have more of a pop vibe. They also definitely held back the rest because it would be "too many breakup songs." Don't ever say that to Taylor Alison Swift. I Bet You Think About Me would've absolutely slayed the country charts. It tears Jake Gyllenhaal to shreds. They were not about to release that into the world. The Very First Night and Message in a Bottle are pop masterpieces. Would've been anthems in 2012.

I love that she recorded Better Man and Babe for her version. I love that she writes for other artists sometimes, but I love hearing how she would have produced or arranged it.

I have a new appreciation for the album as a whole, not just my favorites. Even songs I haven't really listened to in a long time sound so good with her mature voice and a fresh production. My favorites hit differently when she owns them too. I cried listening to Treacherous for the first time. Stay Stay Stay is better now that it's not just a daydream. Sad Beautiful Tragic is simple and gorgeous at the same time. Starlight is a great example of her storytelling, which was really prevalent early in her career and has resurfaced with Folklore and Evermore.

When she first released the deluxe version with bonus tracks, I played Come Back… Be Here on repeat. I was falling in love with someone from a distance. The person who I would end up associating with Red as a whole, but especially All Too Well.

To love to fierce and passionate as it becomes clear that this person isn't good for you. That's RED.

In the beginning, there are butterflies. It's magical. He holds doors open for you. He treats you like a lady. He introduces you to his family. Things are moving in a certain direction and you start planning your life around this person. "But this love is brave and wild."

You fight. Distance weighs on both of you. Life happens. You cry when you have to part after a weekend visit. But he doesn't. You're depressed and lethargic the rest of the day. Nothing but memories to get you through until you can be together again.

At some point he stops planning his future with you in it. You grow apart. The magic is still there. He's still your best friend. But he can't be the person you call when you need someone at 2am.

Soon he's nothing but a memory of a time when you were young and dumb. A supercut of laughter, holding hands, kisses, midnight whispers.

I'm better now on the other side of this tumultuous, beautiful love. Now, I know what is acceptable behavior to give and receive in a relationship. We both had our faults. It takes two people to burn a relationship to the ground. I look back on this time fondly, but also with wisdom that he was not perfect and neither was I.

One thing I will never forgive him for (like Taylor's 21st birthday party) is talking me out of buying the original Red vinyl when I saw it in a store. I had it in my hands. I wanted it more than anything else in the store. It was my favorite. I will also never let a man tell me how to spend MY money unless he's my financial advisor that gets paid to do so. That's the lesson there.

I've grown since then. I've got years of therapy and mindfulness under my belt. A few years of hindsight. I've dated a little, but nothing compared to him. Until now.

I do own the original Red on vinyl now, by the way.

So thank you, Taylor. For writing this album and every single piece of art you've ever made. For giving us so much of you. How can we ever repay you for being our best friend that knows our hearts inside and out.

#taylor swift #taylor's version #red (taylor's version)#red tv #jake gyllenhaal #all too well

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