dalek-thal

[dalek-thal]

Me trying to deal with my feelings about The Owl House and trying to comprehend my own issues: what if I like, wrote an Owl House fic using the style of The Expanse (third person limited, multiple perspectives). Would that actually help, or just end up being yet another project abandoned partway through because efforting is hard

[dalek-thal]

A lot of why The Owl House meant so much to me is the theme of fitting in. Truth is I never really did fit in and Luz's story of trying to find her place really resonates with me. My family never quite understood me, I was bullied badly at school, and now I'm in the workforce I feel liked, but not comprehended.

What's strange to me is how hard The Owl House hit. I've had other texts hit me in strong ways - Undertale caused an epiphany that eventually resulted in my redeveloping my personality to be kinder and friendlier, and Persona taught me how to actually socialise. But The Owl House, by contrast, kinda lifted a fog that I hadn't known was there, but did it less by gently holding up a mirror and more by violently tearing at the fabric I considered to be my identity.

There's a scene very late in the show where Luz comes to terms with the reality of her needs. It's heartfelt, and you can tell that the VA and writer both needed to let it out in the same way. For me, that scene cracked something. On top of it all was my gender identity - I'm not male. I don't think I ever really was male. I'm keeping the masc pronouns because they're what I've been using for most of my life, but really I think I'm a few steps south-east of male. But there's other shit I need to understand about myself. At the core of everything is that desire to "fit in", which itself is based in colonial ideas at the root of Australian society.

When I get through this, I think I'll be happier. Dunno what I'll look like at that point, dunno if I'll even still work in the career I'm in now. But I think I'll be happier on the other side.

I think I might be demigender or non-binary with a masc lean.

I dunno, something I'm thinking on.

[dalek-thal]

Why does my feed has MoringMark hate. He's a fanartist, that, as a hobby, produces daily comics, getting nothing in return and giving fandom constant new art purely for the love of the show, while being just a man, a normal fan like any other. It's kinda wild that people hate on him for his comics. I don't like the internet

[dalek-thal]

Told some coworkers. Got curiosity, as well as one "Dalek-Thal, it's early on a Monday, that's too exciting for pre-coffee".

I'm not okay, I don't think. Haven't been for a while, and it's because I feel like an utter misfit almost everywhere and I kinda always have been a misfit. But hey, it's a start.

I think I might be demigender or non-binary with a masc lean.

I dunno, something I'm thinking on.

[dalek-thal]

I think I might be demigender or non-binary with a masc lean.

I dunno, something I'm thinking on.

[dalek-thal]

Mooom, America is doing a stupid unjustified war again!

[dalek-thal]

Thinking about the Owl House again, and occured to me that it hits the same spot as Undertale did when I was a teen - particularly the themes of fitting in, found family and kindness.

Besides The Expanse (which oddly has the exact same themes), Gravity Falls (couldn't get into it, it's Gideon's fault), Amphibia (saving that for a rainy day) and Kipo (just finished season 1), what other works (books, movies, series or video games) have that vibe?

[dalek-thal]

The other night husband and I were watching a documentary about the yeti where they were doing DNA analysis of samples of supposed yeti fur, and every one of them came back as bears.

Anyway, the next night we watched a thing about some pig man who is supposed to live in Vermont. People said it had claws and a pig nose but walked upright like a man. Now, I happen to know that sideshows used to shave bears and present them as pig men. So every piece of evidence they gave of this monster sounds to me like a bear with mange.

So now the running joke in our house is that everything is bears. Aliens? Bears. Loch Ness monster? Bear. Every cryptozoological mystery is just a very crafty bear.

Bears. They’re everywhere. Be wary. Anyone or anything could be a bear.

[dalek-thal]

inside each tumblr blogger is a smaller, freakier blogger who only gets released on the occasional 2am mental breakdown

[dalek-thal]

Doctor Who actors continuing to not let me down.

[dalek-thal]

Omg???? Is this happening??? Just watched the trailer and I am so excited.

[dalek-thal]

the author's barely disguised longing for a kinder world

[dalek-thal]

The Bullying and Doxxing

It has taken me longer than I would like to put this into words. What happened to Idontevenlikedragonage is in every shape unacceptable. I have been less than active on here recently in part due to a new job, my niece's arrival and trying to move. So I am going to make this abundantly clear.

If you dont like something or someone's take ignore it.

It does not matter if it is a survey, or an analysis at the end of the day, you do not need to share your spicy take about them. You certainly do not need to escalate to bullying them off the internet and doxxing.

Doxxing is illegal.

Honestly the fact it was done on an anon account shows that this is clearly understood and they desired to avoid the ramifications of their actions. I would like to say I am surprised that this happened however I am not. This is the fandom that to date to my knowledge has;

Bullied a Developer of the Internet for how she wrote Anders

I do not care if you think she did a horrible job or not, it is still bullying.

Bullied David Gaider, Trick Weekes, and John Epler Multiple times into locking their accounts

I am looking at you Solavellan wives (I am not referring to the amazing people who write queer, POC or a variety of beautiful nuanced versions of Lavellan)

Hate mobbed A WOC author for her portrayal of Vivienne, using the fic as an example of systemic violence against WOC characters, and Improper Tagging.

Bullied Voice Actors and Devs for having different opinions on the characters.

Bullied Concept Artists for releasing concept art.

Y'all need to enjoy nature, realize there is more to life, and stop being toxic cesspits of the worst high school drama show you can imagine. I am tired of seeing creators and people who just enjoy the game being bullied for daring to have a different opinion or simply choosing to not engage with the media at a level you deem satisfactory.

Honestly if you have made it this far this is probably not about you, the majority of the people I have met in the DA fandom and had the pleasure of working with have been truly delightful individuals. However some of you claim to enjoy the game and yet proceed to destroy the lives of people creating free content and content paid for all for having a different opinion than you.

Veilguard is what you make it. DA is what you make it and I damn well enjoyed all the games in this franchise. Veilguard before my computer decided to fry it's graphics card was on its way to logging more hours than my UNMODDED Inquisition run on XBOX where I had to keep the game running so the wartable did its thing.

If I have mutuals on my following or followers list, that contributed in anyway to the bullying and mocking that has happened in this last week or so. I hope someone does let me know because these people are not my opinions or my beliefs. This fandom should be our place away from the toils of the life. This should be a place were we can all enjoy it. Provided you aren't a racist, a terf, any other form of bigotry.

[dalek-thal]

Doctor Who fandom, you're on fucking notice. One meh finale does not mean the entire show is ruined for good.

That is all.

So I was experiencing some actual genuine grief when I finished The Owl House. Just one of those texts that actually makes me feel "seen", and I related very strongly to Luz as someone who spent most my entire life feeling like a misfit who didn't belong anywhere.

Then I discovered The Fandom.

My God, it's like The Owl House never ended. So much incredible fanfic and comics and writers and fanartists who loved this world as much as I did and truly get the world and characters and are creating incredible works that capture the essence of the text.

So this is kinda a thank you to them, and also a "why the fuck is the Dragon Age fandom not like that" post.

[dalek-thal]

Cannot emphasise enough - doxxing is criminal behaviour and not on.

The fact that the harassment campaigns are still happening seven months later is nothing short of embarrassing.

Just move on, find something you actually enjoy. I promise it might actually make you happy. I'm playing Cyberpunk right now and having a time and a half.

Okay, let's do this once and be done.

Before I ever entered the Dragon Age fandom I was told repeatedly to avoid it, because of how contentious and unpleasant it was. This community's reputation is terrible. People have been scared off before they ever arrived, and-- not for the first time, I am certain-- they have been driven out.

My first and most important point here is that I do not want anyone who participates in harassment campaigns in my space.

I would like people to seriously consider what is more important to them. If being able to participate in public and private bullying is integral to your fandom experience, I cannot prevent you from doing that. But you are not welcome here. You are not invited to participate in any event I run. You forfeit your place in this part of the community which I have tried to focus on positivity and creation.

The behavior I have observed in this incident, and during other points of tension in this fandom, was juvenile and boorish. I hope that the people who participated in it are ashamed, although I suspect they are not. I have blocked everyone I personally saw involved.

As of this morning, this incident has escalated to doxxing, which is a crime in many places. I hope that I do not need to say that this behavior is beyond unacceptable or rude. This escalation was undoubtedly a symptom of the ongoing harassment campaign, and anyone I see continuing to participate in it or support similar ones will automatically be blocked.

This section I address to the other people in this community with equal or greater reach than I:

I really encourage you to make your opinion on this sort of behavior clear. You have power. You have sought it out and accepted it, because you have continuously and purposefully grown your following. You benefit materially from this community. You are in a position of leadership, and people look to you to set the standard for what constitutes acceptable behavior in this space.

You are a leader. Please lead.

I cannot control anyone else's behavior. I cannot prevent this from happening again. But I can set the standard for the people who value what I have been trying to do, here. This behavior is not compatible with the ethos of the community I want to build and be a part of. I have put an enormous amount of work into this space, so I hope you will believe me when I say that I am invested in this fandom. I want it to be a better, more welcoming place to be than it has been in the past. In order for that to happen, the harassment must stop.

[dalek-thal]

BBC: Releases Doctor Who simultaneously worldwide to prevent spoilers

BBC: titles every youtube video with the word "SPOILERS" so people who haven't seen the episode yet don't get spoiled.

BBC: Puts said spoiler as the fucking thumbnail of all of the marketing youtube videos, thus meaning any Australians who were not up at four fucking am but scroll through their youtube feeds when they start the day immediately have the ending of the episode ruined for them.

Genuinely furious right now, this is not how I wanted to find out how the finale ends.

[dalek-thal]

So I was experiencing some actual genuine grief when I finished The Owl House. Just one of those texts that actually makes me feel "seen", and I related very strongly to Luz as someone who spent most my entire life feeling like a misfit who didn't belong anywhere.

Then I discovered The Fandom.

My God, it's like The Owl House never ended. So much incredible fanfic and comics and writers and fanartists who loved this world as much as I did and truly get the world and characters and are creating incredible works that capture the essence of the text.

So this is kinda a thank you to them, and also a "why the fuck is the Dragon Age fandom not like that" post.