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“In a 1994 Harvard study that examined people who had radically changed their lives, for instance, researchers found that some people had remade their habits after a personal tragedy, such as a divorce or a life-threatening illness. Others changed after they saw a friend go through something awful, the same way that Dungy’s players watched him struggle.

Just as frequently, however, there was no tragedy that preceded people’s transformations. Rather, they changed because they were embedded in social groups that made change easier. One woman said her entire life shifted when she signed up for a psychology class and met a wonderful group. “It opened a Pandora’s box,” the woman told researchers. “I could not tolerate the status quo any longer. I had changed in my core.” Another man said that he found new friends among whom he could practice being gregarious. “When I do make the effort to overcome my shyness, I feel that it is not really me acting, that it’s someone else,” he said. But by practicing with his new group, it stopped feeling like acting. He started to believe he wasn’t shy, and then, eventually, he wasn’t anymore. When people join groups where change seems possible, the potential for that change to occur becomes more real. For most people who overhaul their lives, there are no seminal moments or life-altering disasters. There are simply communities⏤sometimes of just one other person⏤who make change believable.

One woman told researchers her life transformed after a day spent cleaning toilets⏤and after weeks of discussing with the rest of the cleaning crew whether she should leave her husband.

“Change occurs among other people,” one of the psychologists involved in the study, Todd Heatherton, told me. “It seems real when we can see it in other people’s eyes.”

The precise mechanisms of belief are little understood. No one is certain why a group encountered in a psychology class can convince a woman that everything is different, or why Dungy’s team came together after their coach’s son passed away. Plenty of people talk to friends about unhappy marriages and never leave their spouse; lots of teams watch their coaches experience adversity and never gel. 

But we do know that for habits to permanently change, people must believe that change is feasible. The same process that makes AA so effective⏤the power of a group to teach individuals how to believe⏤happens whenever people come together to help one another change. Belief is easier when it occurs within a community.”

⏤ The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg

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Not even a priest who proudly claims to love humanity, who lives for humanity. Do you doubt me?

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you’ve done the best as the best leader in the world ♡

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Taeyong ♡ Love Theory [Live Stage: “What do you think love means?”]

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[TRANS] 220125 NCT 127 Backstage Interview at The 31st High1 Seoul Music Awards

Translated by akayuno & eternallight94 - SM_NCT

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“There’s a speech that Florence Pugh as Amy gives to Timothée Chalamet as Laurie, where she says, here’s the situation for me as a woman, and this is why marriage is this question for me, and what I can and can’t do as a woman,” Gerwig said. “And that came directly out of a conversation I had with Meryl. Meryl said, the thing you have to make the audience understand is it’s not just that women couldn’t vote, which they couldn’t. And it’s not just that they couldn’t have jobs, which they couldn’t. It’s that they did not own anything. You could not own anything if you were married, every single thing you owned was your husband’s, including your children. So you could leave a bad marriage, but you would leave with nothing, not even your children. So that’s the stakes of who are you going to marry because it’s so if you had no options. And so I just essentially took that almost verbatim and gave it to Florence.”

—Greta Gerwig Vanity Fair

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hanyu’s biggest fan

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He’s a very kind person. In fact, perhaps he’s almost so kind, he’s not necessarily suited towards competing. However, in the process of training together, we’re always training with the belief that we’re really going to win. And actually, it was his presence which really encouraged me to make the decision to move to Toronto and train there. So actually at the time when I was receiving the gold medal, I was crying at the time but one of the reasons I came to cry at that time as well was the decision in regards to his medal. And of course, during the Sochi Olympics, he was unfortunately not able to receive a medal at that time and I knew how difficult this was for him and how much he was really wishing towards this. Actually, as we were training together, as it came up towards the Olympics, he became unusually very quiet as well, so this really showed me how strong his wish to achieve a medal at the Olympics really was. Therefore, I was so proud of also his medal and really overjoyed about the fact that he achieved this as well. […] I am not sure of whether we will be able to continue to compete together from now on…I’m not sure of what his decision will be, what he will be doing from now, to continue to compete or not. However, I can say with certainty…these six years we have been able to train together and really enhance each other’s abilities during this time and encourage each other in this way as well is something which has made me very very happy. And I’m also confident that I would not be here with this gold medal if it were not for him.

Yuzuru Hanyu, on his training partner, Javier Fernández (FCCJ press conference, 02.27.2018)

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Take care, Senior Inspector Han.

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“A little while ago, I saw her getting very angry at someone. It was because someone did not address you with honourifics. He wasn’t even bad-mouthing you. She opens up to others easily but does not blindly trust or respect just about anybody. And I don’t think that bond between you two is one-sided. And I’m here because I trust that she is a good judge of character, not because I think I can appeal to your conscience.”

Secret Forest (Season 2, Finale) – directed by Park Hyun-suk / written by Lee Soo-yeon

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What about me? Can you trust me? Is someone digging up intel on me? That won’t happen because there’s no need.

Secret Forest - Season 1 (2017)

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ideas for a feminist media starter pack

Listen this is so wildly self indulgent but I was thinking about this today and sure enough it wanted to be written down

Books

The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood – a harrowing dystopian look at why reproductive rights are women’s rights. Atwood might actually be God, the verdict’s not out yet

The Power by Naomi Alderman – probably best on the heels of Handmaid’s Tale, after which you’ll be thinking fuck men, this book reminds you gently that no, fuck the abuse of power, it’s just that women have had fewer opportunities for that (until…) I would have loved this book solely for the change in the newscaster dynamic tbh

The Protector of the Small series by Tamora Pierce (link to first in quartet) – this is a young adult fantasy series about the first girl openly training to be a knight. Reminds us that to be a strong woman you have to both overcome prejudice and put in the work. Kel has been so important to me ever since I was ten and cut all my hair off and pedaled around the neighborhood with a plastic lightsaber pretending to joust

Movies

Mona Lisa Smile – this doesn’t end at all the way you think it will, for any character, and yet it’s the perfect ending. This has been my favorite movie for like 10+ years honestly

Ever After – Cinderella retelling that gives the princess agency. Don’t lie to yourself, you need this in your life. Also Leonardo da Vinci is the fairy godmother; don’t pretend that isn’t peak art

TV

Fleabag (Amazon Prime) – the lead is extremely warped and yet extremely relatable. Watching this feels like getting permission to be hugely flawed honestly. Mind the warnings.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Hulu) – you do not have to renounce any aspect of femininity. You can do your makeup and paint your nails and go out and slay monsters. Who needs girl superheroes when we have Buffy honestly?

Theater

Wicked – name me one other piece of media this celebrated where the centerpiece is the friendship between two women. I’ll wait. You can’t

A Doll’s House – “Before all else you are a wife and a mother!” “Before all else I am a human being!” This wrecked 19th century Europe for a reason

Music

Short Skirt Long Jacket by Cake – don’t we all strive to be a girl with a mind like a diamond

The Man by Taylor Swift – listen this is a bop

Run the World (Girls) by Beyonce – did you think I wouldn’t include this? You were wrong

tumblr disclaimer: All of these, like any media, could probably be claimed to be problematic in some way honestly. But I think they’ve all massively impacted how I think about feminism.

Recs in notes??? Things to add??? Feel free!

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Haruma Miura (1990 - 2020) 

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i don’t really know what to say about all this except that i loved haruma very dearly, i grew up watching him and he has been a great comfort to me for 12 years now. i am heartbroken that we have once again lost someone so beautiful and talented to suicide.

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恋空/Koizora

Sky of Love

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When wealth is passed off as merit, bad luck is seen as bad character. This is how ideologues justify punishing the sick and the poor. But poverty is neither a crime nor a character flaw. Stigmatize those who let people die, not those who struggle to live.

Dr. Sarah Kendzior

(vi profeminist)

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genuinely don't think i'm built for college and/or 40+ years of work. all i want to do is connect with other people and make friends and fall in love and travel and read books and do everything i want to do! and i don't want to work until i'm too old or tired to do any of those things! i just think it's evil that we have to spend our lives working even if we have no passion or drive for it