danaandsusanadopt-blog - Tumblr blog

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If it requires fake smiling, I probably won’t come. @elephantjournal

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Don’t compare your beginning to someone else’s middle—or their end!!

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It was acupuncture day today!

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JoJo found her happy place.

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Our first trip to Niagara Falls

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Never feel guilty.. - Rupi Kaur —via http://ift.tt/2eY7hg4

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Amari and Lulu Playing Around

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Our mini golden doodles playing around!

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Don’t ruin a good today

#quotes #sayings #proverbs #thoughtoftheday

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Dana’s sister and hubby getting married in VA beach, one of our favorite places! www.danaandsusanadopt.com danaandsusanadopt@gmail.com 1-800-761-4701

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Our newly painted children’s room!

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Waiting Has Been My Greatest Teacher

“The waiting is the hardest part”

– Tom Petty, songwriter, musician, still awesome.

I think it’s easy to want what we can immediately have. Instant gratification is more exhilarating than gradual achievement.When you want something that is so far out of reach, you can barely imagine having it. The entire middle of the journey looks like a wasteland of impatience, instability, and, often, sadness.

As hopeful adoptive parents, my husband and I are in the middle of the journey. This waiting period between wanting a baby and having one (adopted or biological) has taught me these lessons that I could never have learned had we gotten what we wanted — a child — without any difficulty.

We can’t control the “how.” Thinking you can control the “how” in life is ridiculous. We can certainly put all of our attention and energy toward making something happen, but how (and even the when) is up to all the molecules bouncing around us and falling into place. I can’t predict how we will find an expectant mother, and it’s pointless to try. Instead, I’ll set goals for myself each day to reach out to people and let the “how” we will make a match be a mystery. In the end, it won’t matter how it happens!

There are things that happen to us that have no reason.When we lost our first child before he was born, I desperately tried to come up with a reason. (I still do, from time to time, to be honest.) Were we not “destined” to be parents? Was there something I had done that caused it? It was such an unhealthy obsession, and I turned all the blame inward. But, what was the point? Doctor after doctor told us it had been a fluke, an unfortunate accident. By letting this search for a reason consume me, I was only delaying the healing process. I could sit here and think of reasons why we aren’t parents yet, but I would again be wasting energy on something that would be a fruitless endeavor. Instead, I am choosing to put my energy into finding a match between us and an expectant mother.

We are not alone, no matter how alone we feel. It’s amazing how many people share similar experiences. When we first started looking into adoption, we were so lost. We know one person who had recently adopted their daughter. But, they did so using an agency, and we are pursuing a private adoption. The more we started sharing our plans with others, the more we discovered how much information was already all around us. We joined Facebook groups, talked to friends of friends, and opened up to strangers. I spoke to my chiropractor’s receptionist about setting up our home study on my way out of an appointment, and she shared with me her IVF stories and adoption journey. We walk around thinking we are the only ones who have ever gone through what we’re going through. But, that couldn’t be further from the truth.

Worrying accomplishes nothing. I used to think that worrying about something prevented it from happening. If I worried about losing my job, then I would remain employed. If I obsess over my dogs eating something they shouldn’t, then they’ll stay out of the vet’s office. I worried about both of my pregnancies going wrong. The unfortunate results were exactly what I worried about. I learned that worrying accomplishes nothing. No matter how hard I worried, I couldn’t affect the outcome. So, why bother worrying? It’s another waste of energy that could be spent enjoying what is instead of being concerned with what might be. I could worry about never finding a match between us and an expectant mother. But it hasn’t happened yet, so what’s the use?

To be honest, I haven’t completely stopped trying to control the how, searching for reasons, feeling alone, or worrying. But I certainly do them all a whole lot less. The process of waiting is my teacher, and being a student means practice, practice, practice.

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When you love someone, when you care for someone, you have to do it through the good and the bad. Not just when you’re happy and it’s easy.

Lauren Olivier (via purplebuddhaquotes)

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Welcome to our blog!

We understand that this is a delicate time in your life and that you are considering a very difficult decision. We respect that and hope for peace for you.

We are a married couple living on Long Island, NY, looking to expand our family with a newborn. We invite you to look around our site and learn more about us and those around us! You can contact us via phone or text at (800) 761-4701 or by email at danaandsusanadopt.com.

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Apparently, we’re having more fun than the fella sleeping behind us!!