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My problem with a lot of vegetarian options is not that it replaces meat but that, just with any other type of art, you can taste that it is not made for its own sake, but rather for the sake of imitation.

Vegetarian food made for its own sake, like chilli cheese nuggets and potato soup, and greens, like seaweed and tomatoes, both taste great! But with meat replacements like veggie burgers and vegan fish fingers you taste the artificiality. Which is a shame because the later gives vegetarian options a bad name, especially when they accidentally sneak their way on a none-vegetarian's plate due to for example improper labeling at buffets.

If we want people to eat less meat, we should focus less on making imitation meat, and more on making new and exciting meatless dishes for people to crave.

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The Classic of the Western Mountains, Chapter 4

The first peak of the fourth part of The Classic of the Western Mountains is called Mount Yin. There is plentiful grain on its summit, but no stones. Large quantities of silvergrass grows here. The Yin River starts here and flows westward into the Luo River.

 Fifty li to the north stands Mount Lao. Many red gromwells grow here. The Ruo River starts here and flows westward into the Luo River.

 Fifty li to the west stands Mount Bafu, where the Er River begins. From here it flows westward into the Luo River. Many Chinese water chestnuts and large quantities of green jade can be found in the Er River.

 One hundred and seventy li to the north stands Mount Shen. Many oak trees grow on its summit, and many Chinese juniper trees on its base. There are large quantities of gold and jade on its southern slope. The Qu River starts here and flows eastward into the Yellow River.

 Two hundred li to the north stands Mount Niao. Many mulberry trees grow at its summit, and many paper mulberry trees at its base. There are large quantities of iron on its northern slope, and large quantities of jade on its southern slope. The Ru River starts here and flows eastward into the Yellow River.

 Another two hundred li to the north stands Mount Shang. No vegetation grows on its summit. but there are many huge rocks. Woodlands are found around its base. Most of the animals living here are white deer. There lives a bird here called the Danghu. It resembles a pheasant, and is able to fly by using its throat feathers and whiskers. Eating this bird will cure near-sightedness. The Tang River starts here and flows eastward into the Yellow River.

 Another hundred and eighty li to the north stands Mount Zhuci. The Zhuci River starts here and flows eastward into the Yellow River. There are numerous trees on this mountain, but no grasses grow here. Neither do any birds or animals live here besides the swarming of snakes.

 Another hundred and eighty li to the north stands Mount Hao. The plants here are all Chinese cork oaks and palm trees, and the herbs here are all Chinese peonies, Dahurian angelicas, and Szechuan lovage. The are many mudstones here. The Duan River starts here and flows eastward into the Yellow River.

 Two hundred and twenty li to the north stands Mount Yu. Iron is plentiful on its northern slope, and copper is plentiful on its southern slope. The only animals which live here are white wolves and Baihu, and the only birds which live here are white pheasants and white long-tail pheasants. The Sheng River starts here and flows eastward into the Yellow River.

 Two hundred and fifty li to the west stands Mount Baiyu. Many pines and cypresses grow on its summit, and many oaks and sandalwoods grow on is base. The animals which live here are mostly cattle and sheep, and the birds which live here are mostly owls. The Luo River flows down from southern slope and flows eastward into the Wei River. The Jia River flows down from its northern slope and flows eastward into the Shen River.

 Three hundred li to the northwest stands Mount Shenshou. No vegetation grows here, and it snows all year round. The Shen River flows down from its summit into an underground aquifer. There is a plentiful white jade on Mount Shenshou.

 Another fifty-five li to the west stands Mount Jinggu. The Jing River starts here and flows south-eastward into the Wei River. There are large quantities of white gold and white jade here.

 Another hundred and twenty li to the west stand Mount Gang. Low quality wood and large quantities of jade can be found here. The Gang River starts here and flows northward into the Wei River. Many Shenchi can be found here, with human faces and animal bodies, one foot, and one hand. They sound like a venerating crowd.

 Another two hundred to the west you will reach the foot of Mount Gang. The Luo River starts here and flows northward into the Yellow River. Many Manman swim in the Luo River. It resembles a rat with the head of a turtle, and it bark like dogs.

 Another three hundred and fifty li to the west stands Mount Yingdi. Many lacquer trees grow on its summit, and large quantities of gold and jade can be found at its base. All the creatures here are white as snow. The Yuan River starts here and flows northward into Lingyang Lake. There are many Ranyiyu swimming in the Yuan River. The ranyiyu has the body of a fish with a snake's head, six feet, eyes which resemble the ears of a horse. Eat it and you won't go blind. Keep it and you will be protected against evil.

 Another three hundred li to the west stands Mount Zhongqu. There is lots of jade on its southern slope, and large quantities of realgar, white jade, and gold on its northern slope. There lives an animal here which resembles a white horse with a black tail, a single horn, and the teeth and claws of a tiger. Their neighing sounds like the beating of a drum. It is called the Bo, and it feeds on tigers and leopards. When domesticated, it can protect its rider against weapons. There grows a tree here, which resembles a crab-apple tree, but with round leaves and red fruits the size of a Chinese quince. It is called the Huaimu. Eating it will make you stronger.

 Another two hundred and sixty to the west stands Mount Gui. On its summit lives a beast which resembles and ox with hedgehog quills. It is called the Qiongqi. It barks like a dog. It is a man-eater. The Meng River starts here and flows southward into the Yang River. Many Huangbei live in the Meng River. They have a shell like a beetle with the flesh of a tadpole and posses a head, a tail, and ears. Many Luoyu also call the Meng River home. They resemble fish with the wings of a bird. They quack like a mandarin duck. It is can omen of coming floods when a luoyu is caught within the boundaries of a city or town.

 Two hundred and twenty li to the west stands Mount Niaoshu Tongxue. Many baihu live here and large quantities of white jade can be found. The Wei River starts here and flows eastward into the Yellow River. Large schools of Saoyu can be found swimming in the Wei River. They look like rice eels, and when they are seen swimming into town it is an omen that a great army will soon arrive. The Lan River flows down from the western slope of Mount Niaoshu Tongxue and continues to flow westward into the Han River. Many Rupi swim in the Lan River. They resemble an overturned skillet, with a bird's head, with fish wings and a fish's tail. They sound like sounding stones. They produce pearls and shards of jade.

 Three hundred and sixty li southwest stands Mount Yanzi. Many Danmu grow on its summit. Their leaves are like rice, and their fruit is are as large as melons, with red markings and a black body. Eating this fruit will cure your jaundice, and its wood can repel fire. Many turtles live on its southern slope, and large quantities of jade are found on its northern slope. The Tiao River starts here and flows westward to empty out into the sea. Large quantities of whetstone can be found the Tiao River. There lives an animal here with the body of a horse and the wings of a bird. It has a human's face and a snake tail. It likes lifting up people's spirits. It is called the Shuhu. There lives a bird here which resembles an owl with a human face, a monkey's body, and a dog's tail. It is called the Sheshe and is named after its call “She-she”. If it is seen in a town or city it is considered an omen of a coming drought.

 In summary, the peaks of the fourth part of The Classic of the Western Mountains, from Mount Yin to Mount Yanzi, number nineteen mountains over a distance of 3,680 li. Each of the previously unnamed gods of these mountains looks like a goat with a human face. The proper sacrifice to them is one white chicken; for the grain offering, use rice grain. White tubes should be used for the ceremonial mats.

 There are seventy-seven mountains recorded in The Classic of the Western Mountains, covering a distance of 17,570 li.

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The Classic of the Western Mountains, Chapter 3 (part 2/2)

 Another three hundred and seventy li to the west stands Mount Leyou. The Tao River starts here and flows into Ji Lake. The Tao River is rich in white jade. The swims a fish here called the Huayu, which resembles a snake with four legs and feeds itself on other fish.

 Travelling four hundred li west by water, you will reach Liusha, and traveling another two hundred li further west you will reach Mount Lumu. The god Changcheng presides here and is one of the nine virtues of heaven. His resembles a human with a spotless leopard's tail. Large amounts of jade are found on the summit of Mount Lumu, and large amounts of limestone at its base, but no water.

 Another three hundred and fifty li to the west stands Jade Mountain where Xiwangmu, the Queen Mother of the West, resides. She looks like a woman, but with a leopard's tail and the teeth of a tigress. She is good at whistling, and wears a jade crown upon her dishevelled hair. She is the goddess of calamities and the five punishments. There lives an animal here which resembles a dog, but with a leopard's spots and the horns of an ox. It is called the Jiao, and it barked like dog. Its appearance is seen as an omen of bountiful throughout the country. There lives a bird here, which looks like a pheasant with red feathers. It is called the Xingyu. It feeds on fish. Its call sound wood being carved. Its appearance is seen as an omen of a country-wide flood.

 Another four hundred and eighty li to the west stands Xuanyuan Hill. No vegetation grows here. The Xun River starts here and flows southward into the Hei River. There are large amounts of cinnabar and realgar in the Xun River.

 Another three hundred li to the west stand Mount Jishi. In its shadow stands a great stone gateway, through which the He River flows on its way west. There is no species which can not be found on Mount Jishi.

 Two hundred li to the west is a mountain known as Changliu shan. It is home the god known as Shaohao, the White Emperor. The animals on this mountain all have decorated tails, and the birds of the mountain all have patterned heads. The mountain is covered in patterned jade and stones. In reality, this mountain is the palace of the primordial god Weishi, who is responsible for returning the setting sun to the east.

 Another two hundred and eighty li to the west lays Mount Zhang'e. No vegetation grows here, but large quantities of green jade is found here. There are many strange things on this mountain. There lives an animal here, which resembles a red leopard, with five tails and one horn. Its sounds like stones being bouncing off each other. It is called the Zheng. There lives a bird here which resembles a crane, with a single foot, red markings on a green plumage, and a white beak. It is called the Bifang, named after its call: “Bi-fang.” When he appears, it is seen as an omen that the town will be struck by a sudden fire.

 Another three hundred li to the west stands Mount Yin. The Zhuoyu River starts here and flows southward into Fan Lake. Many patterned shells can be found in the Zhuoyu River. There lives an animal here, which resembles a wildcat with a white head. It is called the Tiangou. It meows like a cat and it can ward off evil.

 Two hundred li to the west stands Mount Fuyun. Many nanmu trees grow on its summit, and large quantities of gold and jade are found on its base. It is believed that the god Jiang lives here. Strange rainstorms, winds, and clouds are seen coming from this mountain.

 Two hundred and twenty li to the west stands Mount Sanwei. Three green birds live on this mountain. Mount Sanwei is one hundred li in circumference. On its summit lives a beast, which resembles an ox with a white body and four horns. Its hair is like a straw raincoat. It is called the Aoyin, and it is a man-eater. There lives a bird here which possesses one head and three bodies. It resembles a water fowl. It is called the Chi.

 One hundred and ninety li further west stands Mount Xi, which is rich in jade but has no stone. A deity known as Qi Tong resides on this mountain who sounds like a bell or a chime. Many snakes lives at Mount Xi's base.

 Another three hundred and fifty li to the west is a mountain known as Tian shan. It is rich in gold and jade, and has realgar. The Ying River starts here and flows south-westward to empty into Tang Valley. There lives a being here shaped like a yellow sack, four fiery red wings, and six legs. He is a Hundun. He has no face and no eyes. It knows how to sing and dance for he in truth he is Emperor Jiang.

 Another two hundred and ninety li to the west stands Mount You. Here the god Rushou resides. There are many short pieces of jade on its summit. Large quantities beautiful jade on its can be found on its southern slope, and large quantities of realgar on its northern slope. When standing on top of this mountain, one can see the sun set in the west. The sun is round, and is administered by Hongguang.

 Go westward by river for a hundred li and you will reach a mountain known as Yiwang shan, where no vegetation grows. There are large quantities of gold and jade here. There lives an animal here, which resembles a wildcat with one eye and three tails. It is called the Huan. When it opens its mouth, a cacophony of every sound in existence will come out. It can ward off evil, and wearing its pelt over your skin will jaundice. There lives a bird here which resembles a crow. It has three heads and six tails and it loves to laugh. It is called the Yiyu. Wearing its feathers on your skin will protect you against nightmares, and it can ward off evil.

 In summary, the peaks of the third part of The Classic of the Western Mountains, from Mount Chongwu to Yiwang shan, number twenty-three mountains over a distance of 6,744 li. Each of the previously unnamed gods of these mountains looks like a goat with a human face. The proper sacrifice to them is the burial of a piece of auspicious jade; for the grain offering, use millet.

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The Classic of the Western Mountains, Chapter 3 (part 1/2)

The first peak of the third part of The Classic of the Western Mountains is called Mount Chongwu. It is located south of the Yellow River. To the north it looks towards Mount Zhongsui, to the south it looks towards Lake Yao, to the west it looks towards the Hills of Imperial Blood sports, and to the east it looks towards the Gulf of Yan. There grows a tree here with round leaves, red flowers with black veins, and white calyx. Its fruit is similar to an orange. Eating it will make you fertile. There lives an animal here which resembles a monkey with both leopard and tiger markings across its arms. It is great at throwing things. It is called the Jufu. There lives a bird here which resembles a duck, but it only has one wing and one eye. It can only fly in pairs. It is called the Manman. When it is seen as an omen of a great deluge.

 Three hundred li to the northwest stands Mount Changsha. The Xi River begins here and flows northward into Wei River. No vegetation grows here, but there is a large quantity of realgar.

 Another three hundred and seventy li northwest stands Mount Buzhou. To the north it looks towards Mount Zhupi, and to the east it looks towards Wei Lake, where river water spouts from hidden muddy bubbling pools. Delicious fruit trees grow on Mount Changsha. With fruits like a peach, leaves like a jujube, and with yellow flowers with red calyx. Eating its fruit will prevent you from falling asleep.

 Another four hundred and twenty li to the northwest stands Mount Mi. There grows a tree on its summit called the Danmu, which has round leaves, red stems, yellow flowers, and red fruits which tastes like syrup. If you eat this fruit, you won't starve The Dan River begins here and flows into Lake Ji. There is a large amount of white jade in the Dan River. There are boiling pools in the Dan River where jade paste pours out. Huangdi, the Yellow Emperor, enjoys eating this jade paste, and it can be used for his offering. Jade paste can be used to create black jade. The Danmu is watered with jade paste. When the Danmu is five years old, its colour turns from red to an array of five different colours, and releases its five different flavours and aromas. Huangdi once took some of the jade of Mount Mi, and threw it against the southern slope of Zhongshan. This beautiful jade is of good quality, firm and fine, with a turbid and lustrous appearance. It emits an array of five colours to harmonise between hard and soft. The ghosts and spirits of earth and heaven feed on this jade and accept it as an offering. Gentleman should take a piece of this jade to ward off misfortune. You have to travel through four hundred and sixty li of marshland to get from Mount Mi to Zhongshan. Many strange and exotic birds, beasts, and fish live in these marshes.

 Another four hundred and sixty li northwest stands a mountain called Zhongshan. The son of this mountain's god is called Gu, who is a dragon with a human face. Together with Qinpi, he murdered Baojiang on the southern slope of Kunlun shan. Shangdi then had them executed on the eastern slope of Zhongshan, known as Yao Cliff. Qinpi transformed into a Dae, resembling an eagle with black markings, a white head, red beak, and tiger claws, and trumpets like a morning swan. He appears as an omen of the coming of a great war. Gu was transformed into a Junniao, resembling an owl with red feet, a straight beak, yellow patterns, and a white head, and trumpets like a swan. He appears in towns and cities as an omen of severe drought.

 Another hundred and eighty li to the west is a mountain known as Taiqi shan. The Guan River starts here and flows westward into Luisha. In the Guan River lives the Wenyao, which looks like a carp. It has a white fish's body covered deep green patterns with bird wings and scarlet lips. They swim from the West Sea to the East Sea. They fly during the night and makes a call similar to that of the Luan. It has a sweet-and-sour taste, and eating it will cure insanity. When it is seen, it is an omen that the next harvest shall be bountiful.

 Another three hundred and twenty li to the west stands a mountain known as Huaijiang shan. The Qiushi River begins here and flows northward into the Wei River. Many Luomu live in its waters. On the summit there are large quantities of green realgar, beautiful stones, gold, and jade. There are large quantities of fine-grained cinnabar on its southern slope, and a great amount of gold and silver on its northern slope. In reality this is Shangdi's flat garden, maintained by a deity known as Yingshao. His appearance resembles a horse with a human face, tiger patterns, and bird wings. When he isn't taking care of the garden it wanders around the world. His voice sounded creaky, like a pomegranate being opened. To the south Huaijiang shan looks out over Kunlun shan, which burns with blazing light and is cloaked in a lively aura. To the west, it looks out over the Great Lake, where Houji is buried. In the middle of the Great Lake large quantities of jade can be found. On its southern banks many Yaomu grow, To the north, it looks out over Mount Zhupi. The pagoda tree spirit Lilun resides here. Many hawks and peregrine falcons nest on Mount Zhupi. To the east, it looks out over the four levels of Mount Hengshan, where exhausted ghosts are fighting each other for a piece of land to call their own. From Huaijiang shan the clear waters of the Yin River flow out. There lives a sky god here who's appearance resembles an ox, but with eight legs, two heads, and a horse's tail. He makes a buzzing sound like a beetle. When he appears, it is an omen that war will come to that particular city.

 Four hundred li to the southwest stands a mountain known as Kunlun shan, which is the earthly capital of Shangdi. It is administered by the god Lu Wu who's appearance resembles a tiger with nine tails, a human head, and tiger claws. He governs the nine divisions of the sky as well as the cycle of the four seasons in Shangdi's hunting ground. There lives a beast here which resembles a goat with four horns and talons on its forelegs. It is called the Tulou, and it is a man-eater. There lives a bird here which resembles a bee, but is the size of a mandarin duck. It is called the Qinyuan. Any bird or beast stung by it dies in mere seconds, any plany stung by it withers and dies. There lives another bird here called the Chunniao, which is in charge of Shangdi's wardrobe of a hundred clothes. There grows a tree here which resembles a crab-apple tree, with yellow flowers and red fruits which taste like pitiless plums. It is called the Shatang. Its fruits can ward off water, and if you eat it you won't drown. There grows a plant here called the Pincao. It resembles a mallow, but tastes like a spring onion. If you eat it, you will no longer feel tired. The He River starts here and flows southward and then eastward into the Wuda. The Chi river starts here and flows south-eastward into the Fantian River. The Yang River starts here and flows south-westward into the Choutu River. The Hei River starts here and flows westward into the Dashu River. Many strange animals and birds live here.

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The Classic of the Western Mountains, Chapter 2

The first peak of the second part of the Classic of the Western Mountains is called Mount Qian. There is plentiful copper on its summit, and large amounts of jade at its base. It is mostly Chinese junipers which grow here.

 Two hundred li to the west stands Mount Taimao. There are large quantities of gold on its southern slope, and large quantities of iron on its northern slope. The Yu River begins here and flows eastward into the Yellow River. The Yu River contains a large amount of Zaoyu jade, and many white snakes live here.

 Another hundred and seventy li to the west stands Mount Shuli. There is plentiful gold on its summit, and plentiful silver at its base. Many Chinese junipers grows here. The birds who live here are parrots. The Chu River begins here and flows southward into the Wei River. Many pearls can be found in the Chu River.

 A hundred and fifty li to the west is Mount Gao. Silver is plentiful on its summit, and there are large quantities of green jade and realgar at its base. The only trees which grow here are palm trees and the only plant that grows here is bamboo. The Jing River starts here and flows eastward into the Wei River. Many sounding stones and large amounts of green jade can be found in the Jing River.

 Three hundred li to the west is a mountain known as Nüchuang shan. There are great quantities of red copper on its southern slope, and plentiful coal on its northern slope. Among the animals living here are tigers, leopards, and both Xi- and Si-rhinoceroses. There lives a bird here, which looks like a pheasant with five-coloured markings. It is called the Luan. It's call sounds like bells ringing in a Chinese pentatonic scale. Whenever it is seen it is an omen that all under heaven will be peaceful and lawful.

 Two hundred li further to the west stands Mount Longshou. There is a great amount of gold on its southern slope, and great amount of iron on its northern slope. The Tiao River starts here and flows south-eastward into the Jing River. The Tiao River contains numerous pieces of fine jade.

 Two hundred li further west stands Mount Lutai. White jade its plentiful on its summit, and there are large quantities of silver at its base. The many animals here such as cattle, Xianyang, and white porcupines. There lives a bird here, which looks like a rooster with a human face. Its called the Fuxi, named after its call “Fu-xiiii.” Whenever it appears it is seen as an omen of war.

 Two hundred li to the southwest stands Mount Niaowei. Numerous sounding stones can be found on its southern slope, and on its northern slope many sandalwoods and paper mulberries grow. Around the centre many China asters grow The Niaowei River begins here, and flows westward into the Chi River. The Niaowei River contains large quantities of fine-grained cinnabar.

 Four hundred li further west stands Mount Xiaoci. There is plentiful white jade on its summit, and large quantities of red copper at its base. There lives an animal here, which resembles an ape, with white hands and red feet. It is called the Zhuyan. Whenever it appears it is seen as an omen that a great war will come.

 Another three hundred li to the west stands Mount Daci. On its southern slope there are large quantities of chalk, and on its northern slope there are large amounts of green jade. The animals that live here are yaks. There lives an animal here near the cliffs which resembles a large long-haired sheep, with rounded sharp horns. It is called the Ling Yang.

 Another four hundred li to the west stands Mount Xunwu. No vegetation grows here, but it is rich in gold and jade.

 Another four hundred li to the west stands Mount Yuyang. Its plants that grow here are foxtail millet, nanmu trees, and camphor trees. The animals that live here are Xi- and Si-rhinoceroses, tigers, leopards, and cattle.

 Another two hundred and fifty li to the west stands Mount Zhongshou. On its summit is plentiful jade, and there is plentiful sandalwood and gold at its base. The animals living here are Xi- and Si-rhinoceroses.

 Another five hundred li further west stands Mount Huangren. There are great amounts of gold and jade at its base, and large quantities of realgar at its base. The Huang River begins here and flows westward into the Chi River. Fine-grained cinnabar is plentiful in the Huang River.

 Another three hundred li to the west stands Mount Zhonghuang. There are large quantities of gold on its summit, and many orchids and crab-apples grow at its base.

 Another three hundred li to the west stands Mount Xihuang. There are great quantities of gold on its southern slope, and great quantities of iron on its northern slope. The animals living here are mostly Père David's deer and cattle.

 Another three hundred and fifty li to the west stands Mount Lai. There are many sandalwood trees here. The birds living here are the man-eating Luoluo.

 In summary, the peaks of the second part of the Classic of the Mountains of the West, from Mount Qian to Mount Lai, number seventeen mountains over a distance of 4,140 li. Ten of the mountain gods here look like a horse with a human face. The proper sacrifice to them is a rooster and a seal; do not offer any rice sacrifice. The seven other mountain gods look like a cow with a human face, four hooves, and one arm. They use a staff to walk. The sacrifice to them must be of Shao-lao size on mats of white reeds. All seventeen gods rule over flying animals.

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The Classic of the Western Mountains, Chapter 1 (Part 2/2)

A hundred and fifty li further west stands Mount Shi. No vegetations grows here. The Zhu River starts here and flows northward into the Wei River. The is plentiful rock crystal in the Zhu River.

 A hundred and seventy li further west is a mountain known as Nanshan and on its summit large quantities of fine-grained cinnabar can be found. The Dan River starts here and flows northward into the Wei River. Numerous Mengbao live here, as well as many cuckoos.

 A hundred and eighty li further west lays Mount Dashi. Many oak trees grow on its summit, and many Chinese juniper trees grow at its base. There are large quantities of silver on its northern slope, and plentiful white jade on its southern slope. The Cen River starts here and flows south into the Wei River. The Qing River starts here and flows south into the Han River.

 Three hundred and twenty li to the west lays Mount Dangxian. The Han River starts here and flows south-eastward into the Mian River. The Xiao River starts here and flows northward into the Tang River. There are many peaches here, with hooks at the end of their branches. Many animals live here, such as the Xi- and Si-rhinoceroses, and bears. The birds that live here are white eared pheasant and red pheasants. There grows a plant here with leaves like that of an orchid. Its roots are like that of a Chinese bellflower. It has black flowers, but doesn't develop any fruit. It is called the Rongrong. Eating it will make you infertile.

 Another three hundred and fifty li to the west stands the Mountain of the God of Heaven. Many palms and plum trees grow on its summit, and many noble orchids grow at its base. There is an animal here which looks like a dog called the Xibian. Sleeping on its pelt wards of evil spirits and poisonous insects. There lives a bird here which looks like a quill, but with black stripes and a red tail. It is called the Li. Eating this bird cures haemorrhoids. There grows a plant here which looks like mallow and smells like szechuan lovage. It is called the Duheng. Feeding it to horses will make them run faster, and eating it yourself will cure goitre.

 Three hundred and eighty li further west is a mountain known as Gaotu shan. The Qiang River begins here and flows west into the Zhuzi River. The Tu River begins here and flows southward into the Jihuo River. Fine-grained cinnabar can be found on the southern slope of Gaotu shan, and there are great quantities of silver and gold. A large number of kwai muk* trees grow on its summit. A white stone can be found here called Yu, which can be used as rat poison. There grows a plant here which looks like szechuan lovage. It leaves are like those of a mallow, but the underside is red. it is called the Wutiao, and can also be used as rat poison. There lives an animal here which resembles a deer, but with a white tail, four antlers, cloven hoofs on its hindlegs, and human hands on its forelegs. It is called the Yingru. There lives a bird here which resembles an owl with human feet called the Shusi. Eating its flesh cures goitre and epilepsy.

 A hundred and eighty li further west stands a mountain known as Huang shan. The only plant that grows here is arrow-bamboo. The Pan River starts here and flows west into the Chishui. The Pan River is filled with jade. There lives an animal on Huang shan which resembles an ox, but with blueish-black fur and large eyes. It is called the Min. There lives a bird here which resembled an owl, but it has green feathers and a red beak, it has a human tongue which allows it to speak. Its called a parrot.

 Two hundred li further west stands Mount Cui. A large amount of palm trees grow on its summit, and large quantities of arrow-bamboo at its base. Large quantities of gold and jade can be found on its southern slope. Mount Cui is home to many yaks, gazelles, and musk deer. Among the birds living here are the Lei, which resembles a magpie, but with red and black feathers, two heads, and four feet. They can control fire.

 Two hundred and fifty li further west stands Mount Xi. which is located in the West Sea. No vegetation grows here, but there is plenty of jade. The Qi River starts here and flows westward into the sea. The river is rich in stone, gold and fine-grained cinnabar.

 In summary, the peaks of the first part of the Classic of the Mountains of the West, from Mount Qianlai to Mount Xi, number nineteen mountains over a distance of 2,957 li. Mount Hua is a sacred mountain. The offering here must be of Tai-lao size. The mountain god ruling here is Xiyue Dadi. The worshipping ritual of a hundred days requires candles, made of the purest herbs with white stems, to be burned; On each day an animal and a bottle of wine must be sacrificed, and a jade tablets and a jade disc must be buried. The remaining seventeen mountain gods are worshiped are each worshiped with the sacrifice of a sheep.

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The Classic of the Western Mountains, Chapter 1 (Part 1/2)

In the Classic of the Western Mountains, the first peak of Mount Hua is called Mount Qianlai. Numerous pine trees grow on its summit, and large amounts of stones useful for washing can be found at its base. There is an animal here which looks like a sheep but it has a horse's tail. It is called the Xianyang. Its fat can be used to treat dry skin.

 Forty-five li to the west lays Mount Songguo. The Huo River starts here and flows northward into the Wei River. The Huo River contains large quantities of copper. There is a bird on Mount Songguo called the Tongqu. It looks like a pheasant with a black body and red feet. It can be used to treat wrinkles.

 Sixty li further west is a mountain called Taihua shan. It resembles a ten feet wide cube, with sheer cliffs reaching five thousand ren into the sky. No birds or animals live here. There is a serpent here which is called the Feiwei. It has six feet and four wings. Whenever it is seen it is an omen that the world will be hit seven years of drought.

 Eighty li further west lays Mount Xiaohua. It is covered in thorn trees and willows and is mostly populated by cattle. Numerous sounding stones can be found on its northern slope, and large quantities of jade on its southern slope. The birds here are all red pheasants capable of controlling fire. Among the plants is the Bili, which looks like a fern, but it grows on stones and up trees. Eating it can cure a broken heart.

 Eighty li further west is a sacred mountain called Fuyu shan. There is a great amount of copper on its southern slope, and large quantities of iron on its northern slope. There grows a tree on its summit called the Wenjing. Its fruit is like that of the jujube and can cure deafness. Another plant that grows here is a stalked grass which resembles the mallow, but has red flowers which grow into yellow fruit resembling a baby's tongue. Eating it will cure you of mental confusion. The Fuyu River starts here and flows northward into the Wei River. The most common animal on Fuyu shan is the Conglong. It looks like a sheep, but with red manes. The most common bird here is the Min, which looks like a kingfisher with a red beak and a red feather on the tip of its tail. Keeping a caged Min at home will help protect it against fires.

 Sixty li further west lays Mount Shicui. The trees that grow here are primarily palms and wild plums, and the herbs are mostly stalked grasses which resemble leeks, but with white flowers that turn into black fruit. Eating it helps treat scabies. On the southern slope, there is a large quantity of jade, and on its northern slope is a great deal of copper. A river known as the Guanshui starts here and flows north into the Yushui River. There is a type of ochre in the Guanshui, which can be used to paint cattle and horses to protect them against diseases.

 Another seventy li further west lays Mount Ying. There are a large amount of Chinese junipers on its summit. There are large quantities of iron on its northern slope, and a great amount red gold on its southern slope. The Yushui River originates here and flows northward into the Zhao River. Many Bang Yu live in the Yushui River, which look like a turtle with a fish's tail. They bleats like sheep. On its northern shore large amounts of arrow-bamboo grows, and many animals such as sheep and cattle live here. There lives a bird here which resembles a quail, with a yellow body and a red beak. It is called the Feiyi. Eating its flesh will cure the bubonic plague, and is also effective at killing insects.

 Fifty-two li further west is a mountain known as Zhushan. On its summit grow a large number of tall trees and its northern slope is rich in iron. There grows a plant here known as the Huang Guan, which looks like an ailanthus. It leaves are like hemp, and it has white flowers with ochre-red fruits. Bathing in it cures itching, swelling, and tumours. The Zhushui originates from Zhushan, and flows north into the Wei River. Large amounts of arrow-bamboo and blue jade can be found on the southern shores of the Zhushui. The Dan River starts here as well, and flows southeast into the Luo River. Great amounts of rock crystal and merfolk can be found in the Dan River. There lives an animal on Zhushan which resembles a pig with black-tipped white bristles the size of hairpins. It is called the Haozhi.

A hundred and twenty li to the west lays a mountain known as Fushan. Here a large amount of pine trees grow who have needles instead of leaves, but their needles can't hurt you. There are woodworms living in these trees. There is a plant here called the Xuncao. Its has hemp leaves and a square stem. It grows red flowers and black fruit. It smells like szechuan lovage. Wearing some of it on your belt will help cure the bubonic plague.

 Seventi li further west is a mountain known as Yuci shan from which the Qi River originates, which flows north into the Wei River. On its summit grow numerous Yujiang, and and a large quantity of arrow-bamboo grows on its lower slopes. There are great quantities of copper on its northern slope, and great quantities of Yingyuan-Jade on its southern slope. There lives an animal on Yuci shan which resembles an ape, but with longer arms. It is a great at hurling objects at its foes and is called the Xiao. There lives a bird here which looks like an owl, but it has a human-like face and only one leg. It is called the Tuofei. It can be seen during the winter but will hibernate during the summer. If you wear its feathers against your bare skin you will not be afraid of thunder.

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Adding some footnotes into the text, inspired by the ones in Stephen Fry's Great Mythology series.

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The Classic of the Southern Mountains, Chapter 3

The first peak of the third part of the Classic of the Southern Mountains is called Mount Tianyu. At its base flow numerous rivers. It should not be climbed.

 Five hundred li to the east lays Mount Daoguo. There are large quantities of gold and jade on its summit, and at its base are numerous herds of rhinoceroses, Si, and elephants. There is a bird on this mountain which looks like a quail, but it has a white head, three feet, and a human face. Its is called the Quru and its named after its call: “Qu-ru.” The Yin River starts here and flows southward into the sea. In the river live Hujiao. Hujiao have a fish's body and a snake's tail. Their call sounds like that of a mandarin duck. Eating this fish protects against swollen abscess and helps cure haemorrhoids.

 Five hundred li further east is a mountain known as Danzuan shan. There is plentiful gold and jade on its summit. The Dan River rises in Danzuan shan and flows south into the Bohai Sea. There is a bird on this mountain which looks like a golden pheasant. It is called the Fenghuang. Its has a five-coloured plumage and markings resembling hanzi all over its body. Its green head represents the element of wood, and the hanzi for 'Virtue' written on it. It white neck represents the element of metal. On its wing are mark resembling the hanzi for 'Righteousness'. Its red back represents the element of fire, and has the hanzi for 'Courtesy'. Its black chest represents the element of water, and has the hanzi for 'Benevolence'. 'Trust' is written on its belly, and its yellow feet represent the element of earth. This bird can acquire food and water from its own body. It sings and dances for itself. Whenever it appears, it is an auspicious sign that the world is at peace.

 Five hundred li further east lays Mount Fashuang. No plants grow here, but a great amount of water and numerous white gibbons can be found here. The Fan River starts here and flows south into the Bohai Sea.

 Four hundred li further east will bring you to the foot of Mount Mao. To the south lays Yuyi valley, where numerous strange birds live. An auspicious wind blows from here.

 Four hundred li further east will bring you to the peak of Mount Fei. There are large quantities of gold and jade on its summit, but no water. Numerous giant sharp-nosed vipers live at its base.

 Five hundred li further east lays Mount Yangjia. No vegetations grows here, but contains a great amount of water.

 Five hundred li further east lays Mount Guanxiang. Numerous trees grow here, but no grass; Many strange birds live here, but no other animals.

 Five hundred li further east lays Mount Ji. There is a large quantity of gold on its summit, and a great amount of the finest cinnabar at its base. The Black River begins here and flows south into the sea. In it live a large amount of Tuanyu. They looks like a carps, but with the bristles of a hog and sound like a piglet. Whenever it is seen, it is an omen that the world will be hit with a great drought.

 Four hundred li further east is a volcano known as Lingqiu shan. No vegetation grows here, and it burns endlessly. To the south lays Zhonggu Valley, from which the North-eastern Wind originates. There lives a bird on Lingqiu shan which looks like an owl. It has a human face with four eyes, and a pair of ears. It is called the Yu, named after its call: “Yu Yu Yu.” Whenever it is seen, it is an omen that the world will be hit with a great drought.

 Three hundred and seventy li further east lays Mount Lunzhe. There is a great amount of gold on its summit, and at tis a base a large quantity of the finest dark cinnabar. There grows a tree on this mountain which looks like the paper mulberry tree, but it has red veins and its sap is like lacquer and has a sweet taste. If you eat its sap, you won't feel hungry, and you will be free of fatigue. It is called the Bailu. It can be used to turn jade into the colour of blood.

 Five hundred li further east lays Mount Yugao, which is home to many strange animals and large snakes.

 Five hundred and eighty li further east lays Mount Nanyu. There is a large quantity of gold and jade on its summit, and plenty of water at its base. There is a cave on this mountain from which water gushes out and then suddenly rushes back in. It streams out in summers, and in winter it is closed up. The Zuo River starts here and flows southeast into the sea, where the Fenghuang and Yuanchu fly.

 In summary, the peaks in the third part of the Classic of the Southern Mountains from Mount Tianyu to Mount Nanyu, number fourteen mountains over a distance of 6,530 li. The gods of these mountains all have a dragon's body with a human face. The proper sacrifice to them is a white dog; for the grain offering, use the finest polished rice.

 The forty mountains, both large and smalls, covering a distance of 16,380 li, are recorded in the Classic of the Southern Mountains.

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The Classic of the Southern Mountains, Chapter 2

The first peak of the second part of the Classic of the Southern Mountains is called Gui shan. To the west it looks onto the land of Liuhuang, to the north it faces Mount Zhubi, to the east it faces mount Changyou. The Ying River starts here and flows southwest to empty into the Chi River. The Ying River contains large quantities of white jade and a great amount of granular cinnabar. There lives an animal here, which looks like a suckling pig and has spurs on its heels. It sounds like a barking dog. Its called the Lili. Whenever it is spotted, it is an omen that major earthworks will be constructed in that district. There is a bird on Gui shan which looks like an owl, but it has human hands. It sounds like a hen quail. Its name is the Zhu, in reference to its distinct call: "Zhu Zhu Zhu". Whenever it appears, numerous virtuous officials will be exiled from the district and petty men will run rampant.

 Four hundred and fifty li further southeast lays Mount Changyou. It has no plants or trees but numerous waterways. There is an animal on this mountain which looks like a long-tailed ape, but it has four ears. Its called the Changyou. It makes a call like someone is singing. Wherever it appears there will be a major flood in the districts of that commandery.

 Three hundred and forty li further east lays Mount Yaoguang. There is plentiful jade on its south face, and large quantities of gold on its north face. there is an animal on this mountain which looks like a human, but is covered head to thou with bristles like a hog, which are braided and decorated with foraged gemstones. It lives in a cave and hibernates during winter. It's called the Huahuai. It makes a noise like wood being chopped. Whenever it reappears there will a great disaster in that district, requiring an extensive military draft.

 Three hundred and fifty li further east sits Yu Mountain. Below it are numerous waterways, and it frequently rains on its summit. It has no plants or trees, but numerous giant Chinese moccasins.

 Three hundred and seventy li further east is a mountain called Mount Qufu. It has no plants or trees, but a great amount of gold and jade can be found here.

 Four hundred li further east is lays Mount Juyu. Like Mount Qufu it has no plants or trees, but is rich in gold and jade.

 Five hundred li further east is lays Mount Fuyu. To the north it overlooks the great Lake Juqu, and to the east it overlooks the Zhubi River. There is an animal on this mountain which looks like a tiger, but it has the tail of an ox. Its call sounds like a dog's bark. Its name is the Zhi, and it's a man-eater. The Tiao River flows from the northern side of Mount Fuyu into Lake Juqu. The are many Chinese tapertail anchovy living in the Tiao River.

 Five hundred li further east is a mountain called Chengshan. It has four sides and three natural earth altars. On its summit are large quantities of gold and jade, and on its lower slopes a great amount of the finest dark cinnabar. The Shǐ River starts here and flows south into the Mishao River. There is a great amount of yellow gold in the Shǐ River.

 Five hundred li further east lays Mount Kuaiji. It has four faces and on its summit are large quantities of gold and jade, while on its lower slopes there are numerous stones which look like white jade with red streaks. The Shao River starts here and flows south into the Xi River.

 Five hundred li further east lays Mount Yi. It has no plants or trees but is covered in large quantities of gravelly sand. The Xi River originates here and flows south to empty into the Lietu River.

 Five hundred li further east lays Mount Puguo. There is plentiful gold and jade on its summit. At its base there are numerous plants and trees, but no birds or beasts, nor any water.

 Five hundred li further east lays Mount Xianyin. It has no plants or trees, nor any water.

 Four hundred li further east lays Mount Xun. There are large quantities of gold on its south face, and a great deal of jade on its north face. There lives an animal here which looks like a ram, but it possesses no mouth and it can't be killed. Its called the Huan. The Xun River begins here and and flows south into the marsh known as Yanze. There are many Bǐ luǒ in the Xun River.

 Four hundred li further east lays Mount Mishoa. There are numerous yellow catalpa growing on its summit, and at its base grow many thorny trees. The Pang River starts here and flows east into the sea.

 Five hundred li further east lays Mount Quwu. It has no plants or trees, but great quantities of sandy gravel. The Lu River starts here and flows south into the Pang River.

 Five hundred li further east is a mountain called Luwu shan. It has no plants or trees on its summit, but a great deal of gold and stone. The Zegeng River starts here and flows south into the Pang River. There is an beast on this mountain called the Gudiao. It looks like horned eagle. It makes the sound of a crying baby. It is a man-eater.

 Five hundred li further east lays Mount Qiwu. It has no plants or trees, but a great number of stones and no jade. This mountain is situated in the East Sea and it looks out onto the surrounding hills and mountains. A blinding light as bright as the sun can sometimes be seen on this Mountain.

 In summary, the peaks in the second part of the Classic of the Southern Mountains from Gui shan to Mount Qiwu, number seventeen mountains over a distance 7,200 li. The gods of these mountains all have taken the form of a dragon's body with a bird's head. The proper sacrifice to them is an animals with hair of a single colour and the burial of a jade disc; for the grain offering, use sticky rice.

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The Classic of the Southern Mountains, Chapter 1

The first mountain range in the Classic of the Southern Mountains is called Qi Mountains. Its first peak is called Mount Zhaoyao. It overlooks the West Sea. There are numerous osmanthus shrubs and a great amount of gold and jade. There is a plant on this mountain which looks like an onion, but it has green flowers. Its name is the Zhù yú. If you eat it, you won't starve. There is a plant on this mountain which looks like a paper mulberry, but it has black markings. Its blossoms light up everything around it. its name is the Mí gǔ. If you wear it in your belt, you won't get lost. There is an animal on the mountain which looks like a long-tailed ape, but it has white ears. It crouches as it moves along and it runs like a human. Its name is the Xingxing. If you eat its flesh, you'll be a good runner. The Li River rises here and flows westwards to empty into the sea. It has a lot of Yupei herbs growing in it. If you wear some around your belt, you won't suffer from intestinal worms

 Three hundred leagues further east lays Mount Tangting. On it are many fruiting trees and live many white gibbons. This mountain has large quantities of rock crystal and yellow gold.

 Three hundred and eighty li further east lays Mount Yì Zhī. There are numerous animals on it and many curious fish in its waterways. There is plenty of white jade and numbers of giant Chinese moccasins, as well as many other strange serpents and many curious trees. This mountain should not be climbed.

 Three hundred and seventy li further east lays Mount Zhuyang. There are large quantities of scarlet gold on its south face, and plenty of white gold on its north face. There is an animal on this mountain which looks like a white horse, but it has stripes like a tiger, and a scarlet tail. It makes a noise like the crooning of a human being. Its name is the Lushu. If you wear a piece of its pelt on your belt, you will be blessed with many descendants. The Guai shui rises here and flows east to empty into the Xianyi River. There are numerous dark turtles in it which look like water turtles, but they have a bird's head and a snake's tail. They are called Xuangui. They make a noise like wood being split. If you wear a part of the xuangui on your belt, you won't go deaf and it you are protected against calluses.

 Three hundred li further east is the Zhi shan. There are a lot of waterways on this mountain, but no plants or trees. In these waters there is a fish which looks like an ox. It lives in the hillier parts. It has a snake's tail and a bird's wings, the feathers of which lie below its flanks. It makes a noise like that of a bellowing ox. It is called the Lu. It hibernates in winter and won't awake until summer. If you eat its flesh, you won't suffer from swellings.

 Four hundred li further east is Mount Chanyuan. It has plenty of waterways, but no plants or trees. It should not be climbed. There is an animal here which looks like a civet cat, but it has long human-like hair. Its name is the Lei. Eating its flesh cures you of jealousy.

 Three hundred li further east is Ji shan. There are great quantities of jade on its south face, and great numbers of curious trees on its north face. There is an animal on this mountain which looks like a ram with nine tails and four ears. Its eyes are attached to either side of its spine. It's called the Boyi. If you wear some of its pelt on your belt, you will never feel afraid. There is a bird on the mountain which looks like a chicken, but it has three heads, six eyes, six feet, and three wings. Its called the Changfu. If you eat it, you won't keep falling asleep.

 Three hundred li further east is a mountain called Qingqiu shan. There is plenty of jade on its south face, and a great deal of the finest dark cinnabar on its north face. There is an animal on this mountain called the Jiuwei hu. It looks like a fox, but it has nine tails. It can cry like a distressed infant, and devours humans. Whoever eats it will not be affected by malign forces or venomous insects. There is a bird on the mountain which looks like a pigeon. It makes a noise like an angry shout. its name is the Guanguan. If you wear some of its feathers in your belt, you won't suffer from delusions. The Ying River rises here and flows south to empty into Jiyi Marsh. It contains a large number of scarlet Chiru which look like fish but they have beautiful feminine face. They make a noise like that of a mandarin duck. If you eat its foul-tasting flesh, your scabs will no longer itch.

 Three hundred and fifty li further east is Mount Jiwei. Its tail end crouches down towards the East China Sea. There is a great amount of sandy gravel here. The Wei River rises here and flows south to empty into the Yu River, which contains large quantities of white jade.

 In sum, the peaks of the Qi Mountains from Mount Zhaoyao to Mount Jiwei number ten mountains over a distance of 2,950 li. The deities of these mountains all have the appearance of a bird's body and a dragon's head. In sacrificing to them, the ritual is: use animals with hair of a single colour; use a single jade ceremonial half-tablet, then ritually bury it; for the sacrificial rice, use sticky rice; use one sacrificial jade disc; use husked rice; and use white-flowering rush for the mat seating.

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I have started to make my own compiled version of "The Classic of Mountains and Seas", purely because I hated how Anne Birrel translated every proper noun and there are no other full translations out there.

And I am hand typing everything because the spiteful lizardbrain is stronger than any reason I got!

Will share my updated here on my blog so people can enjoy it