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I've been cautioned never to tell a soul, but if you promise to keep it a sec- *gunshot*

Reginald: *walking into his office* Phoenix, what are you doing on my computer?

Agent Phoenix: cancelling plane tickets.

Reginald: I didn't know you had booked a vacation. I never saw a time off request.

Agent Phoenix: oh they aren't mine. They're Fabricators. She's insulted my cooking for the last time. No first class tickets to France for her.

Reginald: ... How did you even get access to her booking information?

Agent Phoenix: don't ask questions that you aren't prepared to hear the answer to.

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Prism: Ha, you should book her an economy class seat to North Korea. (˵ ¬ᴗ¬˵)

Phoenix: I should! ( •̀ω •́ )

Reginald: Or ship her cargo class and push her out over Point Nemo. ψ(｀∇´)ψ

Phoenix: I would love to see that...! °՞(ᗒワᗕ)՞°

Juniper: ...one-way ticket to Gary, Indiana. (≖_≖ )

Phoenix: Christ, John! (⊙_☉);

Prism: Easy there...! (;•᷄_•᷅)

Reginald: Truly, a fate worse than death. (｡ŏ_ŏ)

Reginald: *walking into his office* Phoenix, what are you doing on my computer?

Agent Phoenix: cancelling plane tickets.

Reginald: I didn't know you had booked a vacation. I never saw a time off request.

Agent Phoenix: oh they aren't mine. They're Fabricators. She's insulted my cooking for the last time. No first class tickets to France for her.

Reginald: ... How did you even get access to her booking information?

Agent Phoenix: don't ask questions that you aren't prepared to hear the answer to.

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Daniel Sans: ( ◡̀_◡́)

Fabricator: (˵ ¬ᴗ¬˵)

Charlie: (˶‾᷄ ⁻̫ ‾᷅˵)

Solaris: (;•᷄_•᷅)

Dr. Zor: Where did you put them? （ꐦ𝅒_𝅒）

Hivemind: I... I don't know what you're talking about... (•᷄- •᷅💧)

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The Truman Show.

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The weirdest game of Kiss Marry Kill you've ever played.

“Hey, so quick hypothetical question… Say you’re in a submarine with three grenades tied to levers that you need to use in order to surface. Uh, what would you do?”

“You know, hypothetically?”

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How you keep a parking spot in Chicago.

The He

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Phoenix: *crunch crunch crunch*

Juniper: What exactly is crunchy in the thing you're drinking?

Phoenix: Oh, this? Just a little something for my throat. Here, try it.

Juniper: *crunch* (◎_◎ ;) WHAUH TH' WHUK ITH THITH GINGER?!

And that's how Juniper actually died for real in the IEYTD series. UwU

Whumperless Whump Event Day 20

Prompts for today: GOT THE SNIFFLES: Seasonal allergies / Can't stop coughing / “Bring tissues next time.”

Prompt/s used: Can't stop coughing

Content Warnings: Eating Ginger

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"That sounds like a nasty cough. It's been three days. Are you alright?" Reginald looked at his agent as he fought the urge to frown. "Should we get that checked up?"

Agent Phoenix shook their head, sighing as they drank a cup of hot water that had a piece of ginger floating in it.

"No? Why not?"

Agent Phoenix coughed once more, eyes watering as their shoulder slumped as they looked out the window. Another cough slipped from their lips.

"It's not too troublesome, Agent. Stop refusing help."

Another shake of their head followed as they turned away from the camera.

"Agent."

They refused to answer, just nomming on the ginger from their hot water without another word.

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A WILD PIKORITA APPEARED! OwO

Juniper: AUUUUGGH PHOENIX HELP ME THE BUGS ARE BACK =͟͟͞͞(╯°□°)╯

Phoenix: They're not bugs, John, they're my lil onion doods! If you leave 'em alone they bring you Zoraxis intel and sandwiches. (･ิ¬･ิ)

Juniper: THESE ONES ARE DIFFERENT. They keep slinging sharp little leaves at me and giving me papercuts! ( •̯́ ^ •̯̀)

Phoenix: *peeks into Juniper's room* 🍃🍂🍃(≖_≖ )🍃🍂 ...I see your problem. Let me handle this.

Juniper: Alright, but... Be careful, Phoenix. (;•᷄_•᷅)

Agent Phoenix walks into Juniper's room and closes the door firmly behind himself. Juniper looks on, concerned.

Phoenix: ◓◓◓◓◓◓◓◓(っ'ᗜ')╮ =͟͟͞͞ ◓ =͟͟͞͞ ◓ =͟͟͞͞ ◓

Thanks, @ghostlystarwanderer. :3

🌱🌱🌱

. < . . △ . <. .>

best pokemon fusion I’ve ever done so far not gonna lie

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Replace Coke with a 50:50 lemon cranberry juice blend, and yes, this is a totally normal symptom of being autistic about IEYTD.

being autistic about ieytd is all fun and games until you’re staring at your notes app at midnight 12 coke cans in trying to mathematically prove both how John juniper could and couldn’t have died, while you have hay fever

is this a normal thing or just a me thing

Also random ieytd doodles plus my xoe and Xavier designs

Fabycayor… wowawh 😍😍😍😍

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YIKES that was a fast reset... ( ˶°ㅁ°)!! I'm wondering where exactly Tear shot Phoenix... I'm guessing a headshot...? ;_;

I love how everybody cares about each other in this comic, even if it does make it easier for the bad guy to exploit their relationships... (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ)♡

(Get him good, Phoenix! Punch his lights out! Give him another scar! ᕙ( •̀ ᗜ •́ )ᕗ)

Obviously, Ollie didn’t want to leave Phoenix to fight who was obviously the infamous Operative Tear alone, but by this point, he knew them too well.

If Crane tried to fight, especially in his condition, all it would take was one slip. If Tear got his hands on him for even an instant, Phoenix would be at Tear’s mercy. Ollie couldn’t let that happen. Not again.

In forcibly taking the fight into the control room, Phoenix had sent Ollie a crystal clear message: that they trusted him to get their handler to safety.

And, well, Ollie couldn’t let them down.

He practically had to drag Mr. Crane to the stairs. It was only when he said, “You know that they won’t leave til we’re out of here, so the quicker we go, the quicker they’ll follow!” that the other handler finally picked up the pace.

“I’ve sent you a little extra help,” Dr. P told them. “Head out the back.”

They got some strange looks as they slipped through the outskirts of the gathered party guests, but no one stopped them as they made their way outside.

“I can’t believe you’re helping the Agency just for me,” Crane murmured, putting his hand back to his ear.

“I’m not helping the Agency,” Dr. Prism said firmly. “I’m helping Phoenix. I’m only here because they love you, Reginald. And you’re lucky that they do.”

Crane bit his lip. His next words were soft and slightly strangled. “Ah. Well… thank you.”

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about dang time Tear made an actual appearance in this comic lol. there he is! the guy!

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this is the best video ive seen in my goddamn life

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Fuck Daniel Sans tho, he a bitch.

i like all of the ieytd characters

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This could be somebody's whole doctoral thesis, and I'm not even kidding. The evidence is exceptionally clear and well described.

Awesome Childhood Spelling

Uhh…where it says “looked” read “lopped”. lol This is based on the original tweet you see up there by Twitter user @Sal_Perez4 (see the original tweet here).

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Cruelty and greed, just like the antebellum South.

When historians reflect on this period in time, cruelty will be the word most often used to define it.

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Reblog if you were seduced by this fancy rainforest bird.

This is what Rasputin would've wanted.

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Until you get published, then they're all WE HAVE AN AUTHOR IN THE FAMILY at every damn event. ( • ̀ω•́ )✧

(you can use Kindle Direct Publishing on Amazon; nine out of ten parents don't know the difference between that and a "book deal" :3)

Disappointing your parents is so easy if you just stay in your room and write fanfiction all day